*walks onto stage*
NINTENDO OF AMERICA PRESIDENT, REGGIE FIL-AIME
"We all know that you're waiting to see what Nintendo Wii U is about. Here at Nintendo, we're excited too. We've seen the potential that Wii U represents, and we believe that when you see it for yourself, you'll see that potential too. And one of the most crucial components of Wii U, and how that potential is realized, is this."
*holds up sensor bar*
"I'm happy to be the first to present: the Wii U Sensor Bar."
*dangles cable*
"And let me draw your attention first and foremost to this: the Wii U Sensor Bar Cable. Equipped with the Sensor Bar Cable, the Wii U Sensor Bar will plug in to every Wii U console, this holiday season. And with the Wii U Sensor Bar, you'll be able to experience, for yourself, in your own home, what it's like to choose whether to place the Wii U Sensor Bar above your television. Or below your television. It's up to you. Up? Down? Your needs are first and foremost with the Wii U Sensor Bar."
*unwraps cable, lets it drop to stage*
"How the Wii U Sensor Bar Cable achieves that, is with this six foot length. Ready for the HD world out of the box, able to be placed above," *raises sensor bar over head* "or below," *lowers sensor bar to belt buckle* "even the largest full HD television set in your family room or home theater."
*tucks Wii U sensor bar into inner jacket pocket, spreads hands* "The magic behind the versatility of the Wii U Sensor Bar is the Sensor Bar Configuration Menu accessible through the Wii U Console itself. This menu enables you to define, entirely for yourself, whether the Wii U Sensor Bar is situated above," *raises hand over head* "or below," *lowers hands, spreads them again* "and it's something we'll be showing more of in the coming months."
*takes sensor bar out of pocket again, holds it up* "The Wii U Sensor bar, and Sensor Bar Cable, will be available on November 18th, this holiday season, when Wii U arrives in stores nationwide."
