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[Sleepwalker]

Guess we have the same old friends.

Maybe you have been emailing each other

 

[Toons]

Friends are something that a lot of folks just assume they will have and maintain but I learned earlier on that that isnt hoe it works.

Maintaining friendships takes initiative and effort, you cannot just expect it to remain without doing anything because life is change and change is constant.

You have to sometimes put actusl work into finding time to make something happen. Often; when it does it becomes something all parties enjoy and find refreshing even if they wouldn't have done it without having asked you.

You also have to be willing to branch out and make new ones. This was especially tough for me but I've managed to get a few new ones sometimes through other friends.

Thats all there is to be said really. Good luck to you, its an important part of social life.

 

[Tg89]

Eh mileage will vary. Gotta make the effort.

I still see my closest 10 or so friends, people I grew up with from elementary/high school regularly. Some every couple weeks, others every few months, but we keep in touch in between and never feels like a day has past. We're 35 so everyones in different spots now - some have kids, others moved a little further away, some have pets, some are still doing their best to be bachelors but we all make it work. Only downside is having to choose which ones to put in my wedding party.

 

[German Hops]

Another protip is to go out and befriend bums .

They have nothing to do all day but to hang out.

 

[Dark Star]

I stopped caring about my friends this year. I feel like they're dead weight and I'll never grow if I keep hanging around them every weekend. Even my best friends (like 3-5 people) are fking lame, they never change, they always talk about the same boring shit, never left town, etc.

now I only chase money/job/career and women lol. Also self improvement (gym/lifting weights, hobbies like playing guitar, traveling, etc)

 

[Krappadizzle]

This just happened to pop up,

He's absolutely right. I think so many of us live recklessly at younger ages because we have nothing to lose, and then as you get older, your values evolve and most realize how important and rewarding close familial connections and community can become.

 

[CrankyJay™]

It's hard to keep friends when everyone is working 40-50 hours a week, have to manage a home, have to keep themselves fit, have to potentially keep a partner happy and then your own family, and so on...

Friendships in adulthood is simply not compatible with 21th century way of living. There is no incentive, no time, no energy and no real reason to maintain friendships. And with age, being alone isn't so bad.

No incentive? The incentive is mental health and to not feel lonely.

 

[Klosshufvud]

No incentive? The incentive is mental health and to not feel lonely.

Being alone doesn't make me feel as lonely as it used to. Honestly my work is so socially draining (healthcare) that I'd rather have alone time when I get home most of the time.

 

[Krathoon]

Really, part of the problem is that adults that have a family really clutch onto that family and don't take any "me" time to visit friends or let friends be part of the family.

 

[Elder Legend]

Friends are OK to have through life, but at some point, you have to grow up and prioritize building your own family above all else.
That's just how it goes.

Did you think you were going to be playing Mario Kart and eating pizza with friends for the rest of your life?

Dude stop fucking lying. They left left you cause you betrayed them and stole all of their food when you had the chance.

 

[Krathoon]

People are very insular when they get older.

Also, small towns don't really help either. There is not much options to socialize.

I remember looking at Meetup.com and there was jack shit in my town.

It is like I have to drive all the way into the city for a meetup.

 

[German Hops]

Dude stop fucking lying. They left left you cause you betrayed them and stole all of their food when you had the chance.

Yeah, that too.

 

[RavageX]

I really just can't seem to have time for it outside of a text or call. I'm trying to focus on a few other things outside of work that take up my time. The bit of gaming I do is mostly solo. It is always different days off or different hours, so texts and calls have to do.