See, the idea isn't shit.
If Nintendo had said they were making "Mario Anniversary", a platforming tour-de-force that mixed up levels, worlds, themes. ideas and powerups from the very best Mario games, with challenging new levels and bosses, we'd be having a collective Nintengasm right about now. Riding Yoshi in World 1-1, taking Kuribo's Shoe to Dinosaur Land, fighting Wart with the Hammer Bros suit.
And we'd be right to be hyped, because we know there's barely a chance of a fuck up.
Unfortunately, the idea has been advanced by Sega and their woeful Sonic Team, the single most incompetent development studio to ever exist in the entire history of the games industry.
No one has fucked up for so longer time, over so many games, took so many bad decisions and fallen so far as they. They've taken a franchise that held its own
against Mario, and destroyed it one abomination of a game at a time.
Even with Sonic the Hedgehog 4, from all observations a broken shoddy mess of a game, they've shown how much value they place on the quality of the franchise by not actually bothering to make a game in its own right, instead renaming an in-development iPhone Sonic game to "Sonic 4" and upscaling it to consoles.
I can't think of anything more that shows how little a shit they give.
Now, this is will not happen:
A 2D/3D mix of the worlds of Sonic,
rendered with perfect visuals, sound and physics, a platforming reimagining of some of gaming's greatest moments.
Now, these will possibly happen:
Several new friends introduced, including Derek the Dog and Cranky the Cat, who will provide objectives and tutorials. These will be unskippable, and voice-acted with appaling quality.
Shadow the Hedgehog will be playable from the get-go, giving "Dark Story" players the opportunity to drive through Emerald Hill with their Uzi, gunning down robots.
Rouge the Bat's ongoing sexual tension with Knuckles will be alluded to in the "Story Mode".
Sonic will be reunited with his true love, Pricess Elise, in a finale that rewards devoted followers of this epic saga.
Did someone say
Fetch Quests?
Now, these will almost certainly happen:
The characters will have terrible, grating voices.
You'll be forced to play characters who have truly boring levels and mechanics.
There will be an "epic" story.
Really out of place, awful rap music.
And alas, these will definitely happen:
Homing Attack and Boost.
Broken physics and masses of glitches.
Shoddy level design.
Bottomless pits everywhere.
"The Gimmick".
Terrible visual design.
The absolutely unneeded "epic" story they force on us will be stupid, terribly written, unskippable and make fuck-all sense.
The Sonic Cycle continues as if nothing had ever happened.