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[JoeNut]

I once won a contest I didn't know I was in and a ton of free shit from Newegg including a trip to Vegas, computer, camera, $500 in Newegg gift cards, etc... for posting a joke review.

Here's the review (link is now dead):

It got so many "helpful" clicks that I won "Most Helpful Review."

This is hilarious

 

[Mdk7]

- I can crack my sternum
- I can easily touch the tip of my nose with my tongue (I can almost put my tongue inside a nostril, LOL)
- I can't burp. Don't know why, but the rare times that air comes out of my mouth, I just can't make any noise
- I never broke a single bone in my body, and never spent more than 3-4 hours inside an hospital
- The one and only time I ever fainted... I fainted while on the toilet seat, after having had a major diarrhea attack (I shat like a dozen times within a few hours)
- I am afraid of throwing up
- I never got completely drunk (even if I do drink alcohol, just never too much)
- I want to do mushrooms, but I am afraid of drugs so I think I'm gonna wait 'till I'm 60 or something
- When I was 4/5 years old I almost lost my right eye: I decided to try to stand on a ball and fell against the corner of a step. I was hit right in my eyeball, but apart from some blood spilling out nothing happened and I kept my sight...
- ...even if I'm actually only seeing from my left eye, because of a condition (I forgot the exact name of that)

 

[TheZink]

I’ve been chased by a Rhino in Africa and bit by a prairie dog.

 

[Shadax the wizard]

 

[Zarill]

I can vibrate my eyes on demand, my vision will get all shaky
I sometimes swear when I'm sleeping

 

[snap0212]

I never get a hangover, ever. Never had a headache after drinking, never had to throw up either. And it definitely had nothing to do with the amount I drank. It's weird.

 

[Paertan]

I am born ambidextrous.

Can do almost everything as good with both hands and feet. But for example I can't write as well with my left as my right since my schoolteacher in first grade forbade me using both hands. I wrote on left side of a book with left hand then switched on right side. Witchcraft she called it and forced me to stop.

I use my right hand for most stuff since most stuff is made for right handed people. But for example I only use my phone with my left hand.
I can be both southpaw and regular in kickboxing but mostly use southpaw since it often gives an advantage.

 

[Nightfall]

I use driving gloves everytime I drive my car.

 

[MikeBison]

When I was 16 I was dating a girl a year older than me who was in sixth form at my school. She was opening my eyes sexually a lot and was quite...forceful. I don't know, like I had no confidence around her whereas I did around other girls. She taught me a lot though.
Anyway, drunk one night, she asked me to put this red towel over the light in her room to create some ambience. It did, moody red light everywhere. Getting down to it and could smell burning. Predictably in hindsight. Look up and see the towel on fire. Run over to the window, lift it up and chuck the flaming towel into the garden. It lands on a parasol made of shredded multicoloured plastic and sets ablaze. I jump out of the window onto the patio and break two toes. See a watering can but it's empty so knock over the parasol and piss on it, still naked. Her mother comes out of the kitchen door which backs onto the garden and says "for fucks sake Jimmer"(My name is James and their whole family called me that).

That's the only time I've ever broken bones.

I have never once been touching the sheets whilst I sleep. I'm always wrapped up in a duvet or on top of it.

I'm a body piercer and own a tattoo studio and have all manner of weird and gross stories.

I exclusively wipe my ass with baby wipes after pooping. Don't think I've used toilet paper in about 10 years.

I'm 27 years old and can neither butter bread without ripping it to shreds, nor blow my nose properly.

 

[Mask]

I have a birthmark on my left middle finger in the shape of a 7, or a perfect Nike tick logo depending on how you look at it.

 

[Chairhome]

I almost got fired from one of my side jobs working as entertainment for the Orlando Magic because it was my first time dropping balloons from the rafters and I kept dropping balloons after the game had started. If they had gone onto the court it would have been terrible

 

[Certinty]

My first kiss came in a cemetery... at 2am... in the rain.

 

[Chuckie]

My first kiss came in a cemetery... at 2am... in the rain.

 

[hank_tree]

One night, John Hurt looked me square in the eyes, and threw a banana peel at my face.

 

[Orpheum]

I can listen to one particular part (20seconds or so) of a song for hours on in. I have a tool on my phone for cutting out music parts so i can listen to them on repeat.

i have perfect eyesight.

I talk in my sleep regularly, i mostly talk about Spongebob Squarepants. Sometimes i will tell the story of a random episode from start to finish.

 

[executor]

I'm colourblind and I think that colourblindness also changed the way I think about world...
(or is it you all that think of seeing something that do not exists ?!?)

 

[ChazGW7]

I had an extra set of half developed front teeth. By the time I was in 7th grade, all my adult teeth were in except the two upper front ones. They were still these strangely small baby teeth in an otherwise normal sized mouth/face.

X-Rays revealed that the adult teeth hadn't been able to eat away at the roots of the baby teeth and make them fall out (as normally happens), because there were a set of "mutant buds" in between the adult and baby teeth. The adult teeth were trying to move down, but were blocked. This battle was happening way up high in my gums, just about where your upper lip attaches on the inside.

So I had to go to an oral surgeon, who cut out the baby teeth, the mutants, and carved away JUST enough gum to reveal part of the surface of each of the two adult teeth. Then they gave me braces that were basically normal, except the wire travelled sharply UP, right in the front, secured to a pair of brackets glued to the adult teeth. They used super aggressive tension and pulled the two down in the matter of weeks. It hurt like hell, but they got it done quick.

(unfortunately, the trauma "killed" one of the adult teeth and made it go dark without a root in the middle. So I've always had a "dead tooth" right in the front. It's strong, but has no root nerve, thus is a darker color and kind of a different translucency. There's no way to fix it other than veneers, but... shit's expensive.)

My whole body just vibrated uncomfortably reading all of that, damn dude.

My turn:

I can vibrate my eyes really fast from side to side. Freaks people out after they ask to see.
I can crack my jaw by simply opening my mouth.
I have a dent in my ribcage that I have had for as long as I can remember, so no idea how it happened or whether I was just born that way.
I lost my virginity 2 months after I turned 13

 

[sephiroth7x]

I am a double doser and have it noted on my medical files that I am allowed to be given more of a dose in moderation of any medication I am on.

This applies to anaesthetic and antibiotics as well as painkillers.

I have always struggled to find any painkillers/antibiotics that work for anything I have ever had and after a minor surgery I had a few years ago, I now know why.

I was having a vasectomy (first time under the knife in 30 years), and the general amount of anaesthetic was administered and... well... lets just say I felt the first cut. Which wasn't pleasant... after I explained I felt every part of that, and was I supposed to, they doubled the dose which felt much better for the second ball.

After that, a few tests here and there and I was official. In the research after, apparently a note had been put on my file from 1989 when I had a minor surgery as a child that I required an adult dose of anaesthesia at 5 years old. Goes nicely alongside my ASD and several other medical anomalies!

Shit for alcohol though... takes me ages to get drunk!

 

[MikeBison]

I am a double doser and have it noted on my medical files that I am allowed to be given more of a dose in moderation of any medication I am on.

This applies to anaesthetic and antibiotics as well as painkillers.

I have always struggled to find any painkillers/antibiotics that work for anything I have ever had and after a minor surgery I had a few years ago, I now know why.

I was having a vasectomy (first time under the knife in 30 years), and the general amount of anaesthetic was administered and... well... lets just say I felt the first cut. Which wasn't pleasant... after I explained I felt every part of that, and was I supposed to, they doubled the dose which felt much better for the second ball.

After that, a few tests here and there and I was official. In the research after, apparently a note had been put on my file from 1989 when I had a minor surgery as a child that I required an adult dose of anaesthesia at 5 years old. Goes nicely alongside my ASD and several other medical anomalies!

Shit for alcohol though... takes me ages to get drunk!

I had surgery for a pilonidal cyst and before hand they gave me like 3 separate doses on morphine, each time having to ask the doctor if that was allowed, and it didn't make the blindest bit of difference. No high feeling, pain still exactly the same.

Then after the surgery and the proceeding 3 surgeries, every time I woke up whilst being wheeled away from surgery to the recovery room. Always woke up in the hallway and sat bolt upright and wanted to leave immediately.

 

[Amikami]

At home, I like to keep the thermostat at a nice, chill 68 degrees. Then, even in summer, I can cuddle up with a blanket.

My family thinks it's bizarre.

Hehe. I'm your opposite. I don't have the fortune of having an ac unit but I'll keep my fan blasting even in the winter just so I can get under layers of blankets and feel toasty.

 

[Khasim]

I had an extra tooth growing between my upper left 1 and 2 - it was detected when I was about 8 or 10 when I had my first x-ray for braces. It had to be removed surgically under full anaesthesia. I decided to have the dissolvable stitches removed afterwards instead of letting them dissolve as they were pissing me off. I regret that to this day. The pain of ripping the stitches from my gums and palate is the most pain I have ever felt in my life. I almost fainted.
When I think of it now, I have no idea why I didn't get local anaesthesia to take them off. I guess it wasn't part of our insurance?

I can move my shoulderblades independently of my arms.

I lost my virginity to a prostitute (legal in my country) when I was 20. Don't regret it one bit. She was fantastic. I was smart enough to do my research and find a professional escort. Unfortunately, this started my prostitute/stripper addiction which led to a shitload of credit card debt that I'm still paying off 5 years later. Fortunately the debt keeps getting smaller and I expect to be free of it in 2 years, 4 tops.

When I was in elementary school I had some bad influence and we used to steal Beyblades from the local mall with some other kids. After like 5 or 6 times my friends were caught, but I got away. Threw the loot from that day in the bushes though when my friends didn't come back. I went to one of their homes to check if I simply missed them but I was caught by their dad, who called my dad who beat the shit out of me.

Before that, we stole Pokemon cards or some other shit from chips from a local store. We'd open them, take the toys out and walk out. Once, some 'friends' from the block took us there to 'show us something' (remember, I was like 8 at the time and stealing toys, so I wasn't a very smart kid). Of course they turned us in for a reward. The store owner asked me and my friend whether she should call our parents or the police. We looked at each other briefly and both replied 'call the police' in unison. She laughed and told us to leave and never come back to this store.

I intended to kill myself a couple of years ago by walking towards a moving train while I was drunk after a date that I fucked up. I changed my mind at the last possible moment.

I can move my eyebrows and ears independently from each other.

My dick is built a little differently than a normal one - it's a mild case of hypospadias. Needs surgery to fix, but it may shorten it a bit so I can't decide if I wanna do it. It works fine but it looks weird and I'm very self conscious about it.

 

[omnislayer]

I am a (recovered)pyromaniac, I lit my last fire when I was 14 when the local police chief paid me a visit after a shed near my house was set on fire. It did not go on my permanent record. Ironically the fire that busted me was one I didn't set.

I can't tell left from right.

I am left handed(or so people tell me)

I am probably on the spectrum, but I've never been diagnosed.

 

[Kyne]

I'm about to turn 28 and I've never had a single sip of alcohol in my life. There's no reason for it either.

 

[BlueBadger]

You're a professional singer? :O

I am I've been at it for... About 10 years now!

 

[Daria Morgendorffer]

I'm the last person with my last name.
I have a lightning bolt scar.
I have to sneeze when I have sexual thoughts.

 

[Earthbound64]

I'm about to turn 28 and I've never had a single sip of alcohol in my life. There's no reason for it either.

34 and same, fellow teetotaler.

 

[ShiroAmakusa]

Fun facts? Hmm...

The first time ever I smoked a cigarette was at the late age of 27(!). Yeah I know... add to that, that I've been involved in a country wide anti-smoking campaign just a few years before. I hope none of my fellow activists will ever spot me with a cigarette in my mouth.

Another fun fact:
I've been doing between 30 and 100 deep squats every day since 1995, never skipped a day.

 

[Linkark07]

I was born with one kidney... so I'll always be the designated driver. If I went out to party at night.

Anyways, even if I had two, I wouldn't drink liquor; never have been interested in it.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Matt Damon mooned me once.

 

[woopWOOP]

I loathe cheese.
Just smelling it is enough to destroy any appetite I had before.
I refuse to eat anything that shared its plate with cheese.


I love milk tho.

 

[WeAreStarStuff]

I'm a grower.

 

[lem0n]

When I was 16 I was dating a girl a year older than me who was in sixth form at my school. She was opening my eyes sexually a lot and was quite...forceful. I don't know, like I had no confidence around her whereas I did around other girls. She taught me a lot though.
Anyway, drunk one night, she asked me to put this red towel over the light in her room to create some ambience. It did, moody red light everywhere. Getting down to it and could smell burning. Predictably in hindsight. Look up and see the towel on fire. Run over to the window, lift it up and chuck the flaming towel into the garden. It lands on a parasol made of shredded multicoloured plastic and sets ablaze. I jump out of the window onto the patio and break two toes. See a watering can but it's empty so knock over the parasol and piss on it, still naked. Her mother comes out of the kitchen door which backs onto the garden and says "for fucks sake Jimmer"(My name is James and their whole family called me that).

That's the only time I've ever broken bones.

I have never once been touching the sheets whilst I sleep. I'm always wrapped up in a duvet or on top of it.

I'm a body piercer and own a tattoo studio and have all manner of weird and gross stories.

I exclusively wipe my ass with baby wipes after pooping. Don't think I've used toilet paper in about 10 years.

I'm 27 years old and can neither butter bread without ripping it to shreds, nor blow my nose properly.

Fucks sake Jimmer

This is legit hilarious lmao

 

[kmax]

I can do this too.

Always creeps people out when I do it with my little finger.

 

[Plague Doctor]

Matt Damon mooned me once.

Well how did you like them apples?

 

[Kneck]

I can crack my sternum.
I can put my right thumb out of it's socket and back in, without pain.
I can lick my elbow
I can twist my hand without twisting my elbow

 

[Loxley]

I got my first BJ when me and my then-girlfriend were watching episodes of Justice League Unlimited. I guess Kevin Conroy's smooth baritone put her in the mood. Thanks Kevin!

 

[Smellycat]

It's a long story that I'd prefer not to share all the details of, but basically I leaked some internal store policies and procedures and encouraged people to use them to access proprietary information they shouldn't have been able to.

It got all the way to Best Buy corporate, and needless to say they were not happy. Shortly after it happened I waltzed into my local store and the manager kicked me out, going so far as to threaten calling the cops, and telling me the direction from corporate was to ban me from all stores. (But again, it's not enforced. I don't know how they would manage that.)

It was a very stupid thing to do and I'm very fortunate it never became a bigger deal. Arguably they could have prosecuted me for fraud or more. I was an 18 year old kid looking for 15 minutes of internet fame. I got my wish, but it could have ruined my life. I'm glad it didn't.

Wow

You should definitely consider yourself lucky. It got have gotten really ugly

 

[Kolibri]

I like to wear women's clothing.

I don't know why. I'm not trans. I've just always done it for fun.

 

[yukonrye]

1) Quantum stuff! Precognition isn't that weird in terms of physics.

2) James Randi has fooled you, just as he's fooled the rest of the scientific community. Do you think he'd actually tell anyone if he discovered a person with powers? Do you think anyone with powers needs his money? Putting any stock in his test is ridiculous. It's a smokescreen. The biggest joke the devil ever picked is believing you he didn't exist.

What?

 

[TheThreadsThatBindUs]

Not me but my wife... She actually has a mini orgasm every-time she drinks alcohol.

Needless to say she doesn't drink.

 

[EchoChamber]

My legs are unusually long and I'm too thin so getting jeans in Mexico where everybody is fat and short is hard, so I have to import them from the USA.

 

[Secret Character]

I am I've been at it for... About 10 years now!

Awesome. Happy to see another vocalist here. I need to get serious about it and actually work on producing some recordings to get my name out there.

More interesting tidbits:
- I've been legally blind since birth. My family never noticed it until I was in grade school and figured out I had a hard time reading. Not because of the content, but because I literally couldn't see anything. Major prescription glasses later, I can't see perfectly (at all) but I can function day to day.

- I'm an extremely competitive person, but I've never won any kind of competition or drawing in my entire life. Part of me thinks that I'm just incredibly unlucky, but I've just come to terms that I'm terrible at everything I do. This includes card games, board games, video games, gambling, etc...

- I have extreme depression and used to have some pretty bad suicidal thoughts. I've stopped thinking about that after several people in my life all killed themselves (or tried to) in rapid succession. In the period of 2 years, I lost my best friend, an ex, and almost another ex.

- I haven't taken a vacation in 8 years. It isn't that I don't want to, but I simply don't have the money to.

 

[Aske]

34 and same, fellow teetotaler.

35, and chose to feel the effects of alcohol for the first time last Christmas. I love the taste of many alcoholic beverages, but don't want or need the loss of equilibrium. So I effectively don't drink, aside from the odd glass of something when celebrating. If I was completely unaffected by alcohol, I'd drink a lot more.

I have never taken recreational drugs, but I'd like to try microdoses of psychedelics for the health and wellness benefits. I'd have definitely experimented with them by now if I could access them easily from a trusted source. I'd also be interested in experiencing psychedelics at conventional doses.

 

[BlueBadger]

Awesome. Happy to see another vocalist here. I need to get serious about it and actually work on producing some recordings to get my name out there.

It's honestly a really, really rewarding experience. That feeling of creative completion, even if it's just your first project.. Nothing like it. I'm working on my second EP at the moment, but I had a blast with the release of my first one, despite being unsigned.

Vocalists gotta stick together

 

[420bits]

I discovered that apple juice is fucking amazing at the ripe age of 35.

Funny, I think that apples in liquid form tasted like piss (no, never actually tried drinking piss but you get it) but apples in the form of eating is great (as long as its not the floury kind).

Pears on the other hand is amazing in liquid form but I hate eating it.


I'm 37 and work in IT and don't drink coffee.
I'm Swedish and never tried "snus", but I did smoke heroin once out of curiosity.
Don't use butter on bread, just cheese, ham or whatever is available. Stopped using it for some reason when I was in the army and never returned to it, it's not like I have anything against butter or trying to be fit or anything.

 

[Aske]

What?

Not my words; the words of noted scientist, psycho power advocate, and leader of the Shadaloo terrorist organisation, Kevin Spacey.

 

[megarockexe]

I have my name on a videogame that wasn't through a Kickstarter.

That's usually what I go with for interesting things.

 

[LordPezix]

I use driving gloves everytime I drive my car.

I see you

 

[Dandy Lyin]

I can do that! But only with my ring and middle fingers on my right hand.

 

[PlayALLtheGames]

I spent the first almost-decade of my life in Yakutsk, Russia (Siberia). It has the unfortunate distinction of being one of the coldest inhabited places in the world. I was born there there because my dad deserted the Russian army back in the 70's and got sent to a prison there. When he got out he met my mom and out I came.

He now lives in England and works for the Russian mob.