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[Adam_Vania]

naw, it's fine to follow your dreams, just make sure they are your dreams (not the ones impressed upon you by parents/friends/culture/marketers/etc)

upper level management is more or less a performative job, Motivational Speaking for Millionares. that kind of talk is very common. Cult of Personality is very important for those roles because that is what they produce, rather than actual products. most of it is hot air but again this is a performative role - as rational as we would like to think we are, humans still need symbols and ritual. imo if i ever dreamt of giving speeches to business majors it would be a nightmare.

do what you want to do. take a look inside, think about what really makes you happy. there will always be someone more "successful" than you (just as there will always be the opposite) the importance is not to tie your well-being to things you cannot control, ie, the desires of others.

 

[LosDaddie]

OP sounds like a miserable person.

People should Absolutely follow their dreams. Nothing is guaranteed in life, and people should expect failures.

It's what you do after those failures that will define you.

 

[hodgy100]

i followed my dreams
i became a games programmer

 

[Apdiddy]

Follow your dreams is bullshit. When you can't even find a job and the people who hire you are too stupid to be supervisors but you can't work anywhere else, you do what you have to. Then when you find a field or profession that you fit with people you enjoy and bosses that care, you don't want to leave it to 'follow a dream.'

I would have pointed out every last thing you mentioned in the OP to the people giving the talks and ask them why should I listen to when they obviously never had failures.

 

[Gravy Boat]

It's a nice idea but it's not realistic for most people. Nobody dreams of growing up to be a shelf stacker in a super market, or the guy that fills potholes in roads, but we need people to do those jobs. Nothing wrong with just doing a regular boring ass job if you can find validation and reward in your life elsewhere.

 

[zou]

No, I don't think so. But you should be realistic about yourself and be prepared to put in the work. Join clubs, take classes, practice, network and hone your art/skills. Try out for teams, sign up for competitions, whatever. If you're good and you enjoy whatever it is you're doing, thanks to the Internet it's easier than ever to "make" it. And even it it doesn't work out, it's something that will differentiate yourself when applying for a job or help with your college application.

 

[Jellycrackers]

It sounds like you need to broaden your definition of "dreams". It's not everyone's dream to make 6 figures and live in a mansion.

My dream is just to make a living writing music. Nothing too crazy or ambitious. I've also always dreamed of having an awesome wife and family.

I am an optimist, but I do think people should be aware of how hard it can be to achieve a successful career. I wouldn't just go tell everyone "Follow your dreams! You'll get it eventually!". It'd be more like "Try as hard as you can to follow your dreams, but don't let it ruin your life - learn to be happy with what you have."

 

[Phrozenflame500]

While the "You can do anything!" subtext is incorrect I do agree with the more subdued "You should probably give at least kinda a fuck about your life" that comes with the mantra.

 

[Always-honest]

everyone should.
only a few will succeed.
but they'll all end up fine.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Follow your dream. Be a bit realistic about the timeframe it might take and plan accordingly. No, you will probably not built up your own hundred million dollar business. But going for that few hundred thousand dollar a year revenue business is totally possible.

 

[Fuchsdh]

People should have a driving force or a "dream" but recognize that there's steps A-Y before you get to Z.

Yep. The whole "don't let your dreams be dreams/ follow your dreams" stuff doesn't equal "you will be successful". It's about giving things a shot, putting in the work if you really want something, and acknowledging that there are few things you'll feel better off never having tried than having given a shot when it comes to the regrets of old age.

If your definition of "dream" is "be filthy rich so I don't have to work," I think the issue is with your capacity to dream beyond a pretty narrow sliver of your possible experiences.

 

[Fury451]

Depends on your dream. I, in my late twenties and with no formal training on the violin, will not be a world-famous musician unless I have some kind of supernatural innate talent.

But I can still learn and play the violin well if I devoted to it.

So, really, it depends. You can't go too cynical with dreams otherwise nothing good will happen with your ideas and goals honestly.

 

[old manatee]

Only people who get an education in STEM disciplines should be allowed to eat. Everyone else is either a dreamer, a lollygagger, or even worse a silly boots.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

You should always follow your dreams, you just shouldn't fully bank on them coming true.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

What I've told my kids is that while it's important to find things you are passionate about and make them part of your life, the practical reality is that you also need to find something that'll get you paid enough and comfortable enough to have the time and energy for those passions.

Sure, if you're lucky you can get paid to do the things you're passionate about, but most of us don't have that luxury, so it's better to prepare for that and hope for/work towards the ideal.

My oldest is almost 13, and she's got a lot of lofty ideas in her head about things she can do with her life, and I hope she can do all of them. But she's also managed to keep a good head on her shoulders, and spends time thinking about how to be entrepreneur and make money when she's old enough. I swear that kid has been asking me when she can get a job for the last 5 years or so.

 

[Slo]

Lots of defeated people in this thread.

 

[Kite]

All the miserable-sounding posters in this thread missed the point, follow your dreams isn't to guarantee success. That is a stupid and unrealistic expectation lolol And if you're posting on GAF you're likely in a first or second world county, shush with the sob stories.

Regret is a part of life, but missing out on something you are really passionate about will eat away at your soul for the rest of your life. I wanted to major in Geology in college, but the economy was in a recession, I didn't want my parents to blow their life savings on me and a not too reliable major and I didn't want student loans for life so.. I took the safer option of Army -> Gi Bill ->Business school. My job is ok and the pay is pretty good but.. I don't love it. *shrug* What could have been.

 

[Slo]

OP, maybe if you can bring yourself to tolerate another one of these awful luncheons you could spend less time trying to discover why these people are all so undeserving of their success, and spend a little more time trying to cultivate a relationship with them. They can open doors for you.

For fuck's sake, you said right in the OP that the event was for networking, but you apparently have no idea what that means.

 

[DECK'ARD]

I think passion is key. You can't have a dream and just expect it to happen. Well you can, it's just very unlikely to happen.

It requires dedication, overcoming setbacks, facing criticism and rejection, and never letting it knock your belief in yourself or the value of what you are doing. Even if knocked right down you have to get back up again.

Not everyone is cut out for that, but those who are owe it to themselves to try. If you fail it will hurt, but not as much as never trying.

 

[Glix]

You're not wrong in a lot of ways but it IS still possible.

Just look at the gaffer that made the shower drain thingy

OP, maybe if you can bring yourself to tolerate another one of these awful luncheons you could spend less time trying to discover why these people are all so undeserving of their success, and spend a little more time trying to cultivate a relationship with them. They can open doors for you.

For fuck's sake, you said right in the OP that the event was for networking, but you apparently have no idea what that means.

Fuck that! Once they get up on stage and start bragging about it while leaving the most important bits out (this is the type of lying our POTUS excels at btw), they are fair game. And yes, it is lying or at best "being mega deceitful while collecting a check" when you CLAIM you worked your way up and didn't. You are a fucking fraud at that point.

And the idea... "maybe you could network with them and get something out of it" is fucking mercenary as hell. You should go for your Series 7, dude, you'd fit right fucking in.

 

[DECK'ARD]

You're not wrong in a lot of ways but it IS still possible.

Just look at the gaffer that made the shower drain thingy

And if anyone here likes Worms, that was the dream.

 

[darscot]

I hate the term bootstraps, people think it is an excuse for everything. I've never even heard anyone say it in real life. Is it a GAF thing or an American thing.

 

[Slo]

Fuck that! Once they get up on stage and start bragging about it while leaving the most important bits out (this is the type of lying our POTUS excels at btw), they are fair game. And yes, it is lying or at best "being mega deceitful while collecting a check" when you CLAIM you worked your way up and didn't. You are a fucking fraud at that point.

And the idea... "maybe you could network with them and get something out of it" is fucking mercenary as hell. You should go for your Series 7, dude, you'd fit right fucking in.

I can't tell if you're serious or not. I mean, this is so over the top that I assume that your'e joking, but on the other hand this is GAF so I can't put it past someone to advocate going to a young professionals networking event and heckling the presenters.

*shrug*

 

[Kuroi Gogeta]

Perhaps instead of "dreams" we should speak of "ambition". Following your dreams is good advice if you have backup. For example, I want to be a writer. I want to write screenplays, short stories, and TV shows and I want to be rich enough to not have to worry about if I can afford vacations or anything like that. However, I also know that I need to be realistic. I know that it is not easy to make it as a writer, so in the mean time I will have to be able to eat and pay bills. I went to school to get a bachelors degree with a concentration on 2 separate disciplines and a masters degree in another discipline so I can get some job security. Following your dreams can lead you to a situation where you only know how to do one thing well, and if unfortunately for you, society does not value that thing, then you're fucked.

I like the saying "shoot for the moon. If you fall you'll land among the stars"

 

[jph139]

What do we mean by a dream, though? If we're talking "reasonable, attainable, easily charted goals" then yeah, definitely follow those, but that doesn't sound like a dream to me.

Dreams are crazy and ambitious. I dream about being a great boxer or author or something. But that shit's not practical, so it gets downgraded to hobby.

 

[ZackieChan]

That's my point. I'm not saying you should just take the first job you can and not ever try to improve your lot in life. But it seems to be an "all or nothing" deal with many that I've talked with -- no matter how big the dream is.

I have a dream of finishing a novel and getting it published. I don't ever see it happening, but I'm still writing on a daily basis. That's one thing. Working your way up the ladder and reaching the pinnacle of your profession is your dream? Awesome, keep working toward it. Telling someone to up and quit their jobs to start their own business because you did it without mentioning how the road was paved seems a bit much.

Wouldn't better advice be about finding and making contacts and working toward smaller, more easily obtainable goals on your way to that dream be better?

Why aren't you finishing your novel? Why don't you see it ever happening?

A great man once said "don't let your dreams be dreams."

 

[umop_3pisdn]

Motivation is a relatively limited resource, but if you're responsive to your desires then you can enter into a pretty effective feedback loop where your work tells you more about your capacities and what you're willing to see be accomplished for yourself. It's obviously no guarantee for prosperity, but if you are free enough to pursue that, then it can give a pretty big advantage, particularly that you have some kind of conviction, and thus tenacity, in what you're doing. Necessity, in contrast ("I need to do this to survive") tends to breed contempt, because we're not freely choosing it but instead feel obliged to it. To ape Hegel or Marx or something it actually alienates us from our work.

So something like that is virtually timeless, because it's basically how people realize themselves and their values. The only time it might be outdated is if we all revert back to serfs and thus can no longer recognize the kind of freedom necessary for that sentiment to have any meaning for us. Hopefully we never get there.

 

[DECK'ARD]

Motivation is a relatively limited resource, but if you're responsive to your desires then you can enter into a pretty effective feedback loop where your work tells you more about your capacities and what you're willing to see be accomplished for yourself. It's obviously no guarantee for prosperity, but if you are free enough to pursue that, then it can give a pretty big advantage, particularly that you have some kind of conviction, and thus tenacity, in what you're doing. Necessity, in contrast ("I need to do this to survive") tends to breed contempt, because we're not freely choosing it but instead feel obliged to it. To ape Hegel or Marx or something it actually alienates us from our work.

Worms took 4 years, and when I decided to scrap what I'd been messing around with and rebuild it from scratch as a commercial game that was some serious crazyness looking back.

Working during the day, up all night doing the game. I lived, slept and breathed it. But I was working in a little computer shop so I used that to playtest it, and the reactions and laughter from them kept me going.

 

[mewmew42]

I thought it is all about what we can contribute

The joy of being of service

You become more successful by making others reach their dream

 

[Nelo Ice]

Funny I just had a similar discussion about this with my family. For the past 2 years I was unemployed since I was determined to make it as a web developer by teaching myself. I figured ok going to a unaccredited coding bootcamp didn't seem worth it and from meeting bootcamp grads I saw it really only helped those with degrees or those with career jobs. I didn't consider going back to school since hey it's hilariously expensive and the market may change by the time I'm done.

Anyway I'm about to work a data entry job that may lead to a tech/dev job in the future. But so far I'm thinking my only 2 options to pull off a dream for me are go back to school for CS and make myself eligible for internships. Or the other option being doing a trade in which case I'm leaning towards electrician. I also know I'm no super programmer and I'd probably do well if I was trained on the job since I'm terrible with creating things from scratch but I know I can learn nearly anything if given the time and resources.

So far my family outside of my sister seems to think I'm nuts and I should pursue my dream of being a developer no matter what the cost. And anytime I brought in data, reading articles, personal experiences etc they told me to ignore it all. Just keep working hard and things will go great. So I'm sitting there like fuck I'm just trying to be realistic and I'll be happy doing either career, I'm just also tired of wasting away and being broke. But atm I'll likely be going back to a CC to work towards a CS degree this fall and next year I'm going to apply for an electrician apprenticeship when that opens up.

 

[Renekton]

A slightly related question.

How true is the 10k hour rule, assuming no disabilities?

 

[The Hermit]

My "dream" is to live comfortably with a nice girl and having enough money to travel during vacations and play games.

 

[Foffy]

Dreams, of course, depend upon scale.

We have dreams that may be fantastical, or rooted in reality.

If one's dreams are rooted in sincerity and reason, you twerk for them.

 

[Sibersk Esto]

If one's dreams are rooted in sincerity and reason, you twerk for them.

That's an...interesting philosophy

 

[SummitAve]

One of my dream is to retire early and all it took was reading the Retirement Gaf thread to be well on my way to accomplishing that.

 

[Sgt.Pepper]

Follow your dreams mantra also involves a hell lots of luck. It ain't just "work hard", which I know many people work to exhaustion. They don't have rich parents who gave them cars or house/apartments, they aren't what you call pretty folks, are white and born from a place that has a bad name attached to it.

I do appreciate the whole concept of positivity, I don't like the undermining concept that people aren't working hard enough.

 

[Magik]

The mantra itself isn't out dated. There is nothing wrong with having a dream and pursuing it. I think the problem nowadays is that people don't realize how much work it requires to reach those dreams and are either very quick to give up or be side tracked by distractions.

 

[GamerJM]

Following your dreams isn't a bad decision but it's not necessarily a good one either. It's a decision. One with benefits and downsides.

This is all insanely obvious but I don't really know how else to say how I feel about it. I don't think it's really something kids should be told all the time but I don't think it's stupid to do either.

 

[DECK'ARD]

Follow your dreams mantra also involves a hell lots of luck. It ain't just "work hard", which I know many people work to exhaustion. They don't have rich parents who gave them cars or house/apartments, they aren't what you call pretty folks, are white and born from a place that has a bad name attached to it.

I do appreciate the whole concept of positivity, I don't like the undermining concept that people aren't working hard enough.

I'm lucky I was born when I was, and I'm lucky I had parents that saw the spark that went off in me when I saw my first videogame and worked extra hours to be able to afford them for me, especially the Amiga when it came down in price with the 500. My mum said my face had lit up when I saw the Amiga for the first time like nothing else she'd ever seen and she went back and told my dad that they had to find a way to get it.

The Amiga changed everything, it was a dream machine. For me and lots of people. You could do anything, and I taught myself to do everything I needed.

Making my dream come true though involved making my own luck. And I wasn't going to give up and I finally travelled to London to just force people to look at it at a computer game show.

 

[Rentahamster]

It's flawed because you only really hear it from people who happened to have it work for them. There's more to success than just following your dreams, in and of itself.

 

[daviyoung]

Lol, it was never dated. It's a mantra that helps keep people in their place. A capitalist doctrine.

Work long enough for me and I'll do good things by you. Stick with this shitty job and you'll go places.

Nothing more than promises to control the working class. Give them the stick, keep the carrot. No, that dream is too dreamy, find a more realistic dream. Pull up those bootstraps.

It takes advantage of human resilience and ability to just put up with shit.

 

[Maintenance]

Always was.

 

[DECK'ARD]

The Amiga's marketing slogan was "Only Amiga makes it possible".

For Amiga, also read "you". And that applies here as well.

 

[Forerunner]

It’s not outdated, but there are different factors in success or failure. Some people have it easier than other; however life has never been fair. It helps if you set reasonable goals and have a plan. You just don’t go straight from A to Z. I have dreams and aspirations. I know I will reach them because it’s something I really want. I made a plan and I will get there. However, plans don’t always work and there are obstacles that set me back, however that doesn’t stop me.

I’m not going to sit here and say you can achieve anything you want because that’s bullshit. The main thing is to set reasonable goals and have stepping stones/plans to get there.

 

[GKnight]

The end of last year I was so happy and excited, after 2 years of hard applying, interviews and hard work after completing my degree with a high GPA due to lots of studying etc. I finally made it to the final stage of getting hired to what I figured would be my dream job.
Then two weeks before I was supposed to start training they called me while I was sleeping, I answered, sounded groggy, so they decided I wasn't serious about the position.

Months later I got called in for training to another job I'd forgotten I'd applied for that to be fair I didn't work all that hard to get. If anything it seems like hard work is just destined to mess me over.

 

[DECK'ARD]

If you want an idea of how different the Amiga was, we also got trippy ads like this:

https://youtu.be/oLF4Pvu5Kno

It's like an anti-Mac 1984 ad.

 

[womfalcs3]

You have no idea how many people told me I'm not for them because I graduated from a state school. Or how many people told me my work is inferior, even though I persisted and it ended up being accepted by the academic community.

There are vindictive people out there.

You gotta do what you think is right.

 

[Miletius]

The way I see it, it's better to give it a shot than to wallow in misery and despair. However, if you feel you'll be suited to a bit more realistic attitude, go for it. I think that many people need a dream to get them through the hard times.

 

[DECK'ARD]

You have no idea how many people told me I'm not for them because I graduated from a state school. Or how many people told me my work is inferior, even though I persisted and it ended up being accepted by the academic community.

There are vindictive people out there.

You gotta do what you think is right.

Some people tried to tear me down every step of the way, and even when I'd managed it against all the odds people still carried on, because they were jealous or thought they could have done it.

I just wanted to do what I loved and to try and create something people would love, and I especially wanted to create something even people who didn't like videogames would like. I wanted it as deep and as simple at the same time. I made life harder for myself but that was the point, no pain no gain.

Don't let the fuckers get you down.

 

[Bakercat]

I agree with mostly everyone in this thread. People should follow what they "dream" to do, but only to the point that it is realistic, unless you're using your dream to push yourself. You want something in your life to have meaning and a goal to help guide your decisions through life. I can't imagine not having some end goal in life to strive towards, but apparently a lot of people have either unrealistic goals, or have given up on such goals. I personally have many goals in life that I want to accomplish, some that have begun working out, some that have failed, and some I'm still thinking of pursuing. My biggest goal at this moment is to have a career that will in someway help people in the world.

I chose psychology as a career because not only was it a path to help achieve that goal, but was something that complemented my skills. I am finishing up my bachelors degree in psychology soon and will be applying for a PsyD program soon after, where I'll be hoping to become a Psychologist and help people who suffer from mental illness. I understand that this is a attainable goal in my life and I'm working as hard as I can to reach the end goal.

Ive also had interest in writing in the past few years. It's one of the few ways that I feel that my creativity can be pulled out from my thoughts and into expression. Yeah, I'd like to write a whole novel and publish it and have everyone enjoy my work, but it's not really something attainable I believe. However, I still think about it a lot and it drives me to push myself to see what I can do. I think that's what the best thing about the idea of following your dreams, in that your dreams can push you to achieve better than say you not having a goal you want.