game on earth! Live from Varrigan City, my superiors, The Organisers, have designed this show solely for your
amusement wherein the strong and the weak, the insane at the innocent are pitted against each other in a veritable
Darwinian struggle for survival. Everyone has been infected by our special virus, and only the winners get to walk
away alive. A little incentive so to speak. We have created a world of mayhem, of massacre, of mutilation and most
of all, a World of Madness.
and sinister satisfaction. Well then Ill have to inform you that Death Watch will be available March 10th for our
American audience. Our patient psychopaths in Europe and Australia will unfortunately have to wait to rev their
chainsaws until March 20th and 26th respectively.
With tears of blood in my saddened eyes, I regret to inform our friends in the land of the Rising Sun that they
will not be allowed to participate in the mayhem. But Im sure youll find a way to join in on the massacre,
one way or another.
ex-Clover mercenaries with experience on other horrible shows such as the ball-bustingly hard GodHand, the
frightening Resident Evil 4, the extravagant Viewtiful Joe and, for varietys sake, our family-friendly Okami
for all the little toddlers out there! Sega's even employed the Undead Necromancer Yazmat to curse those
who watch other shows with eye-cancer.
coliseums, you will have the exclusive privilege to witness our contestants fight till the death and beyond, for
your amusement and pleasure. There is only one rule and that is that there are no rules. Well, except that little
lovely rule about killing as much people in the most gruesome, elaborate, bloody, violent, grotesque,
abhorrent manner possible. Bob Ross himself would be pleased with how well our contestants paint the town red.
And their reward for displaying such a feat of skill? Points, and lots of them! High scores will unlock new areas
in their playing arenas, new weapons to batter their opponents with, and of course the Death Watch-exclusive
Bloodbath Challenges! On these special occasions, the contestants will have a time-limit to kill as much enemies
as possible using the gruesome tools of destruction we, The Organizers, have provided, such as the Death Press,
mashing your foes into a bloody pulp, or Man Darts, slamming them against a huge dart board.
The main prize of course is the privilege to fight a Ranked contestant. These battle-hardened fiends have caused
more bloodshed than the most experienced butcher in the bloodiest abattoir. They are the true masters of massacre,
the bishops of blood, kings of carnage, the sultans of sadism, the emperors of evisceration.
taught by our experienced trainers from the far Orient. The following terms are fairly bizarre, as I have no clue
what the fuck a "Wiimote" is, but I'm sure you die-hards will recognise that obscure word.
- The players (and pimps) attack their opponents by pressing the A button for a bread-'n-butter combo.
They can use unlockable weapons like a katana or a baseball bat to mix it up a bit. Or, they can whip
out their chainsaw by pressing the B button and then slashing like a vicious killer.
- After grabbing their enemies by holding the A button, they can stun them with a flick of the Nunchuck,
impale them on spikes or throw them into dumpsters and such.
- Finishing moves are executed by following on-screen visual cues and prompts.
a nice combo, constrict him with a tire, impale him a few times with a signpost through the head and then
toss them in front of a speeding train. A work of art!
Here's a schematic for the braniacs out there:
Frankly, I dont care how they do it, as long as they wreck merciless havoc.
Its time to introduce the main contestant of tonights show. The enigmatic Jack Cayman, or as I like to call him
The Chainsaw, is on a winning streak ever since entering our delightful program. Rumors are abound that hes
not just here for the killing, but lets not bother with that right now. Armed with a chainsaw on his arm, hes a
fierce fighter with skills unparalleled so far. Can he reach the top and become the number one assassin in Varrigan
City? Well soon find out. Be sure to place your bets, so you too at home can earn a buck on this murdering
madman.
sadistic audiences have been given a sneak preview of our horrifying show. But now you too, foaming at the mouth
behind your flicker tube, can get a sweet taste of the bloodshed to come.
Weve also provided some stills for those poor souls who still havent had enough. These beautiful images obviously
cant fully contain the splendor of blood splattering across your screen, but they should manage to get your
murder-engines going at least.
like a carcass without its entrails. Well as these fine ratings prove, youre wrong and you should feel horribly guilty
for thinking this is any less than the best show on this black&white earth. Feel free to enter Death Watch yourself,
well be more than happy to arrange your funeral. Once we can retrieve all your body bits at least.
- IGN: 9/10
- 1up: A-
- Eurogamer: 7/10
- GameInformer: 9/10
- GamesRader: 8/10
- GamePro: 4.5/5
- ComputerAndVideoGames: 8/10
- GameSpot: 7.5/10
- GameTrailers: 8.5/10
- M! Games (German magazine): 81% - Great graphics, OST and story. Some minor camera issues and the motorbike segments aren't as fun as the rest of the game.
- Nintendo Power: 9/10 - Game is a lot of fun to play, over the top to an enjoyable level. Good length and variety for a beat-em-up, controls work well, lots of unlockables and stuff to do after beating it. Nice presentation and story as well. Their only complaint is that the running commentary, while usually funny, gets very repetitive.
- Official Nintendo Magazine: 8.5/10
Oh yes there are! Our European friends will receive various promotional items such as a soundtrack or a T-shirt, if they order now from certain store chains.
Why, thats me, the Black Baron himself. With my pimpcane in hand, I convert the nonbelievers and turn them to the Church of MadWorld. Together with my lovely assistants, Im in charge of the Bloodbath Challenges.
Theres no need for that! The Bloodbath Challenges can be enjoyed even more with two. Just cuddle up together on the sofa and you and your wife can take part in the slaughter together! Remember, the more the bloodier.
Death Watch is a WiiTV exclusive. Fun fact: Whiners like you have a statistically higher chance to get impaled by a sign post. The more you know!
Death Watch of course! The only thing as dumb as the partner character in that Zombie show, would be YOU if you dont watch our splendid show!
N. Gaffe said:Show of the year. Me and my mates have all had plastic surgery to make our faces show our love for Death Watch. Heres some pictures:
T. Touchdown said:
J. Thompson said:
P. Hoffman said:
Dr. Crow said:
N. Gaffe said:Hey, its me again. You know what? Me and my friends made some promotional posters for this show! Check em out:
