"The Simpsons" bring life after the party
By Mike Philbrick
Special to Page 3
OK, it's Sunday night. Super Bowl XXXIX is over.
Wait, do you even realize the gravity of that statement? Let me spell it out for you ...
Homer always knows how to throw a good party.There are no more football games until August. No one in the NBA starts really trying until April. Rumor has it the NHL is in a lockout. Pitchers and catchers? That's not for a couple weeks. And the NCAA Tournament is still a month away. Seriously, what do you do now?
Well, at about 10:00-10:30, when the credits roll on FOX's Super Bowl telecast, don't collapse on the floor in a ball of leftover nachos and tears. Sit tight and wait for that famous angelic cadence and the clouds to part revealing your nirvana. Yes, I'm talking about "The Simpsons."
That's right, "The Simpsons."
I know what you're thinking. When you're in full-blown sports detox Homer isn't going to cut the mustard. (Mmm ... mustard.) Well, maybe he won't, but his friends on this episode might. Turns out on Super Bowl Sunday Tom Brady, Yao Ming, Michelle Kwan, LeBron James and Warren Sapp are stopping by Springfield. And yes, all the voices you hear are theirs.
How do they look? You be the judge.
Yao Ming's only request to the animators was, "Don't make me look like a monster." Come on, Yao! This is "The Simpsons!" Even the monsters aren't scary.
It's the scripts that drives the show. (Personally, I'm hoping for "Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You might remember from such TV shows as 10 minutes ago.")
Anyway, back to the show ... it turns out that after inadvertently busting a move at the local carnival, Homer is hired by his athlete friends to help choreograph their victory dances. And there's no task Homer J. Simpson is better suited for. So Homer is a raging success, of course.
Wait, this is "The Simpsons" right? Where's the catastrophic failure? Where's the humiliation? Where's stupidity at such levels only seen at an MLB collective bargaining meeting? Oh, here it is. Seems that Homer's success caught the eye of the savvy folks at the NFL and he is then asked to choreograph the Super Bowl halftime show.
No problem, Homer can handle it, right? Not quite, and not without the help of wholesome neighbor extraordinaire -- Ned Flanders. After an all-nighter, Ned and Homer deliver a non-violent, meaningful halftime show. No Janet. No Britney. No Aerosmith. No Nelly. No gyrations. No malfunctions. No skin. No nothing. Finally! What the people have been clamoring for, right? Not quite. When halftime ends, Ned and Homer are destroyed at home and in the media for their blatant display of decency.
Ouch.
Only "The Simpsons" can make you laugh while having you not realize that you've just been personally insulted. And people are calling Bill Belichick a genius?
Unfortunately, it's only 30 minutes. So you better TiVo it.
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