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The Rise of Skywalker - Place Your Bets

It's almost that time.

Time for Disney to pull out the grave of the Star Wars sequel trilogy one last time.

What will happen?

Will Rey declare herself an honorary Skywalker?

Will Kylo Ren "redeem" himself?

Will JJ unveil a worse script than The Farce Awakens and/or The Last Jedi?

How much money will it make?

Place your bets, place your bets!
 

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
It'll make lots of money.

Probably gonna suck.

2EAAg.jpg
 

Nymphae

Banned
TFA: Went 3 times in theatres, saw with star wars fan buddy from work. Had enthusiasm for more.

TLJ: Only went once, with the same guy, we immediately talked about what didn't work and why we didn't like it after the first viewing

TRS: Neither me nor the work buddy who has been a fan since going to see the original movie in theatres are going to watch this. Whenever we talk Star Wars now it's with a sigh and we honestly just don't really even bring it up anymore, it's completely dead for us. I'll watch the MauLer video in a few weeks for some laughs.

No shit that Tommy Wiseau Star Wars saga thing was better than this entire ST.
 
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iconmaster

Banned
I'll watch some spoiler reviews.

I think Rey will probably be an honorary Skywalker. I hope she has to struggle a little bit on the way there.

I suspect after Last Jedi everyone's going to play it fairly safe.
 

Hinedorf

Banned
I've read the spoilers, I have conditioned myself to like it much as I have like 1-8 before them. I love all of the movies in their own way and hate almost nothing about them.

My biggest hate is for the haters of Star Wars for not being what it is they want it to be. Appreciate the fucking story as it is or don't.

Realistically the moment Luke died my Star Wars ended. I like Kylo but he's more or less an annoying emo shit stain and Rey is paying homage to the pussification of America in proving women are just as capable as a man unless it comes to opening a fucking jar of pickles, then they know their place.

I will love it because I couldn't do anything else, I'm a sad fucking weak fanboy who spent countless hours in high school hiding in the library reading books living in those worlds.
 

Harlock

Member
Any JJ history will not make sense. Lost, Star Trek movies, Star Trek Discovery, Star Wars. The end will be super dumb, just a couple of cool scenes put together.
 

MisterHero

Super Member
I love Star Wars but I'm tired of getting shit just for criticizing it. I'm just gonna put the franchise down if RoS doesn't have any good resolutions. There are better things to spend time and money on.
 
The movie will prbobably do fine. The toys and other merchandise won't sell because there's no beloved characters in this saga. DVD and Blu-ray sales will go down due to Disney+, on which the movie will appear ASAP.

I assume movies will stop releasing for a little while after, to curb franchise fatigue.
 

Thaedolus

Member
I’ll have family in town for Christmas so I’ll probably go with them when they all want to see it, but otherwise I might even pass. TFA was fine, gets a bit of a pass for being a retread in that it’s an introduction to new characters and ideas and such...TLJ really killed any momentum the movie had IMO. Characters regressed, the plot made no sense and shit on almost everything that came before it, they ruined Luke...almost everything was a twist or turn for the sake of having them, while losing any sense of consistency or cohesion. This last one may be worth it for the spectacle but I really doubt anything will make sense
 

cryptoadam

Banned
Critically it will be divisive and eventually be hated on. Shills and SJW's will praise it at first, but after time passes it will be picked apart RLM style.

Rey will end the movie taking on the Skywalker name.

The plot will be nonsensicle since there are like 17 cuts of the movie and a million reshoots so this thing is going to be a giant mess.

Palps will be wasted and fans are going to be pissed that the movie will shit on the OT.

There will no Lucas cut, or Lucas saving the movie.

Everything associated with the OT will be gone. Falcon blown up, Chewie, Lando, R2, C3PO dead. only link will be Rey as Rey Skywalker.

It will open between TFA and TLJ, but have bad WOM and be a relative bomb for the SW franchise. Either TLJ level or slightly above. Jumanji and Cats will give it some good competition.
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
the movie will be shit

however it will make a lot of money

the same people who think TFA and TLJ were good movies will think this is good. they will point out all the good ratings from critics and all the money it made. same exact arguments being made now for the last two films will be made for this one.

i think Disney's bet of "Star Wars fans will buy anything with the logo on it, even if it spits directly in their face" was a correct one and they'll make tons of money. films are dreadful tho.
 
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Bolivar687

Banned
It's almost that time.

Time for Disney to pull out the grave of the Star Wars sequel trilogy one last time.

What will happen?

Will Rey declare herself an honorary Skywalker?

Will Kylo Ren "redeem" himself?

Will JJ unveil a worse script than The Farce Awakens and/or The Last Jedi?

How much money will it make?

Place your bets, place your bets!

Rey is a clone.

Of course Kylo redeems himself.

This will be worse than the Last Jedi. JJ both wrapping up and course correcting will be sabotaged by the fact that he plays it safe and isn't actually a storyteller to begin with.

Won't reach a billi.
 
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DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
The only thing I'm really interested in is the story behind Palpetine's return and I hope it isn't something stupid like his mind possessed another person or it's just an AI construct of him that had been created before he died and was found in a pile of salvage or something.

I never cared about Rey or anyone else in the new trilogy.
 

johntown

Banned
Rey will have the power to stop a death star blast with her hand, Leia will continue as superwoman and will fly through space without a ship, all men will be killed off and it will be revealed that they are the root cause of the dark side.

Regardless, I will still go see it.
 

cryptoadam

Banned
you won't even get that. JJ gonna "that's a story for another time" and you will have to buy a comic book that they can just retcon with the next movie anyways.

Palpatines back just accept it ok. Vaders redemption doesn't count anymore, Lukes saving the galaxy who cares we have REY SKYWALKER now. This way when they talk about the Skywalker that ended the sith and killed Palps and saved the galaxy its REY not that useless cis male WHYTE Luke. Fuck him being a guy thinking he could do something useful.

And also now they can bring him back again and again. If he survived Vader killing him he can come back in the next trilogy without needing any explenation. Hes just back because we need a big bad and have no original ideas.
 

n0razi

Member
My 3 predictions:

- Its going to get generally favorable reviews
- Lots of people are going to say it sucked
- Its going to make a shit ton of money
 

Nymphae

Banned
Probably to make another 3PO action figure they could sell.

I don't care enough to hunt the info down, but around TFA, JJ said in an interview the red arm was essentially just added just to show that things had happened to these characters in the 30 years since seeing them last, and you literally needed to read one of the tie in comics to understand the lore reason. Changed back to normal for TLJ and no one gave a shit lol.
 
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Azurro

Banned
I bet it’s gonna bomb!!

Domestic OW: 170M
Domestic Lifetime: 520M
WW lifetime: 870M

I think it will be closer to 1 billion WW. Big bucks for a regular movie, but a failure by Star Wars standards. I am willing to bet the leaks are mostly true, but I don't care about SW all that much to pay money to confirm it.
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
It will be so bad that people will soften their opinion on TLJ.
i could see this happening. the ST has made me really appreciate the PT in so many ways, i can at least thank it for that. the needlessly baroque worldbuilding and just constant bursting forth of new ideas, as well as capturing the otherworldliness of it all, with the PT George successfully captured those elements of the OT.

the ST makers on the contrary have done jack shit to create anything new. it's an odd strategy, because they own the IP, they could easily sell new toys for C-3PO/R2/Chewbacca/etc et al without putting them in the movies & selling their own NEW characters. the decision to not give Rey a new ship, her own ship, was a poor one. giving her the Falcon permanently was a dumb idea. that was the moment in TFA where the whole thing fell off the rails IMO.

within 5 minutes of them fighting TIEs i was cringing at an 70 year old man awkwardly running away from ugly generic CGI tentacle monsters, with no feeling that anything at all was at stake, that i may as well be watching afternoon cartoons, as our new heroes accidentally flipped a switch, accidentally saving everyone. that's another problem i have with the new films, everything is so arbitrary, the coincidences are too much. characters don't have any agency, whether it is Finn getting tased on the way to a far better movie or Rey & Kylo's first duel having a non-ending due to the Earth suddenly splitting into a deus ex machina canyon. over and over it is shown that nothing our characters do have any consequence. Finn and Rose get arrested by space cops, then randomly a guy breaks them out, then they get chased by the cops, then the same guy saves them 5 minutes later like miles away, then they get arrested by the FO, then Holdo lighstpeeds into the spaceship they are on while they are being executed. they spend like a few hours just getting chaperoned from one setpiece to the next.

they don't do anything. things just happen to them. the OT films presented realistic characters, with realistic motivations, acting realistically amidst Lucas's batshit pulp sci fi script. these films, the people in them are just tools to sell a brand, characters to be shot by professional photographers to sell an idea, like having Finn hold a lighstaber, it sells the idea of a SW movie with great representation & lead POC Jedi, when of course, the reality is cold, hard capitalism, a good looking scene that has zero consequences. Finn is sliced in the back up his spine by a lightsaber, yet in the start of the next movie he is up and walking around in a leaky diaper for LOLz. nobody asks him how he is doing, he is tased for more comedy. WTMFF?

ST is product. unfortunately the product is getting worse and worse. it will continue to do this as long as it remains profitable.
 
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Pagusas

Elden Member
I am still in shock that TLJ did what even the Prequels couldn’t do: completely killed any interest I have in a new Star Wars film. Like it’s insane how that could have happened. I’ll see Ros when it’s on Disney+ in 5-6 months.
 

Birdo

Banned
What will happen? Explosions, space ships, light sabers, and nostalgia.

Will Rey declare herself an honorary Skywalker? Yes.

Will Kylo Ren "redeem" himself? Yes.

Will JJ unveil a worse script than The Farce Awakens and/or The Last Jedi? Same level.

How much money will it make? A lot.
 
I predict I'll like it, I'll walk out feeling better about SW as a whole, about on-par where I was after TFA.

Leagues better than when I walked out of TLJ, which will be a pretty good/big turn around for Star Wars.
 
What will happen?

Nothing of any real significance. Probably back tracking from TLJ without actually doing it. "Kylo wasn't lying, your parents ain't shit... but their parents..."

Will Rey declare herself an honorary Skywalker?

Probably. The only way she could be an actual Skywalker is if Luke or Leia were her Grandparents

Will Kylo Ren "redeem" himself?

Probably but who gives a shit. They have given no reason for the audience to care about any of the characters introduced in the ST. Even if Kylo died, would it be any more meaningful than Snoke dying? Shame they wasted so much talent on shitty writing.
 

sol_bad

Member
Luke Skywalker rising from the dead, complete control of the force including reincarnation? Emperor vs Luke, both risen from the dead
 

Werewolf Jones

Gold Member
In this vast galaxy of garbage writing and everyone knowing each other like Galactic Facebook exists. Rey Mary Sueing her way through this film and then announcing she will take on the Skywalker name is 1,000,000 times better than them retconning that she's actually Han Solo's kid and he had a side chick or some dumb garbage. Also Kylo Ren redemption arc is pretty much confirmed.

I'm honestly looking forward to it. A few months ago I said "Fuck Star Wars" but I've changed my mind, I went from wanting TLJ to be good to me seeing how much they can pull shit out of no where. I want utterly ridiculous anime bullshit and the legacy characters to be killed to further prove Disney wants them gone.
 

drganon

Member
Someone turns toward the camera and says " this truly is ....the rise of skywalker" and then the movie ends.
 
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