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[koam]

So the movie is coming out on Friday. We've had a "best one time character" thread, a best "episode" thread and now, i think it's time for a best quotes thread. I'll start this off with some of my faves:



"Oh my god, i'm seeing double, FOUR Krusties" - random mob goon


"Troy, baby, ever heard of Planet of the Apes?" - Agent
"The movie or the planet?" - Troy


"Weasling our way out of situations is what seperates us from the animals.. except the weasle" - Homer


"My name is.. Homer JAY Simpson" -Homer


"Hello Super Nintendo Chalmers" - Ralph lol click on this youtube, it's in german)


"My eyes... the goggles do nothing" - McBain


"It's like Speed 2 but on a bus" - Milhouse


YouTube links = welcome, paste the quote here though.

 

[Cheesemeister]

Lisa needs braces.

 

[Pochacco]

Dental Plan!



edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU8WwZpI-i8

 

[SolidSquirrel]

I call the big one bitey.

 

[Cornballer]

I bent my wookie!

 

[Akuun]

APRIL FOO- *nuclear beer explosion*


-Bart

 

[Cravis]

You tried your best and failed miserably....The lesson is never to try.

 

[mrmrec2]

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden

 

[Darko]

FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson,at Terror Lake.Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
Homer: Check!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [pause]
FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[again Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
[hours pass by]
FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
[stepping hard on Homer's foot]
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.
[FBI man gives up]

 

[Like the hat?]

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of lifes problems

If I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker!

 

[the chris]

Just saw this episode again last night, always loved this line

Mafia Goon(maybe Legs): Johnny Tightlips, where are ya hit?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't saying nothing.
Legs: What do I tell the doctor?
Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to go suck a lemon.

 

[Jason]

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden

:lol

What episode was this from?

 

[Jumpman Jr.]

Ak: If the Lord is all-powerful, why does He care whether we worship Him or not? Ak just saying.

 

[Pochacco]

:lol

What episode was this from?

The one where Homer teaches a class about marital relationships.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrets_of_a_Successful_Marriage

 

[Like the hat?]

Ramones: "happy birthday to you, happy birthday! happy birthday to you, happy birthday! happy birthday burnsy, happy birthday to you!"
"Go to hell you old bastard!"
"I think they liked us!"
Burns: "Have the rolling stones killed"
Smithers: "But sir.."
Burns: "Do as I say!"

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

"Or....SYNOGOGUE."

 

[BobFromPikeCreek]

Girl: There's something wrong with my Malibu Stacy...
*pulls cord*
Doll: Somebody call for a web-slinger?

 

[Like the hat?]

"Or....SYNOGOGUE."

hahaha, that line always gets me


EDIT:

Smithers' computer (nude burns)
"Hello - Smithers...You're - quite - good - at - turning - me - on"

 

[koam]

"Or....SYNOGOGUE."

Where is that from?

 

[Jason]

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend!

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

Where is that from?

Old Man And The Lisa. Here's the full, transcendent quote:

"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These
are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity
hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue."

 

[snacknuts]

Bart: Hey Dad... Remember when Tom had you in a headlock, and you screamed 'I'm a hemophiliac', and then when he let you go, you kicked him in the back?

 

[Like the hat?]

Old Man And The Lisa. Here's the full, transcendent quote:

"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These
are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity
hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue."

its all in the delivery, though

 

[Ree]

Girl: There's something wrong with my Malibu Stacy...
*pulls cord*
Doll: Somebody call for a web-slinger?

The Drawn Together version is better.
Princess Clara: I think there's something wrong with my doll...
*Pulls cord on Jesus Christ doll*
Girls voice: "Just pretend it's a banana!"

Oh yeah, SIMPSONS quote...

"Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we doo!"

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

its all in the delivery, though

Oh god yes. "These are the three demons you must slay..."

:lol

Just deadly.

 

[Cornballer]

Homer: I know we don't call as often as we should and we aren't as well-behaved as our goody two-shoes brother Canada, who by the way doesn't have a girlfriend. I'm just saying.

 

[BobFromPikeCreek]

The Drawn Together version is better.

No. Not really.

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

No. Not really.

Beaten. The Simpsons version is so great. And Hank Azaria does the best voice for it.

 

[Manp]

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car!

 

[HomerSimpson-Man]

Homer-

"Oh my god, this man is my exact double! That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff puff!"

 

[Gigglepoo]

Oh man, I've only got one minute 'till they stop serving those breakfast balls!

(my favorite underrated quote. I always picture this gross ball of pancake and egg and meat. Oh, it has to be sliced like the Giant Tomato ("More tomato? Yes please.")

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

"I brought this on myself."
- Martin Prince

"Sanjay to the window with the Windex. Sanjay to the window with the Windex."
- Apu Nahasapeemapetelan

"I don't know what you're planning, but you can count me out of it."
- Marge Simpson

"WHERE'S THE NARC?"
- Anonymous Alternative Scenester

 

[twinturbo2]

My sash says Ultraman!
Ralphie is my hero.

 

[Cornballer]

Chief Wiggum: Okay, folks, show's over, nothing to see here, show's OH, MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage. Come on crowd around.

 

[Like the hat?]

"I am not a butt!"

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

Chief Wiggum: Okay, folks, show's over, nothing to see here, show's OH, MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage. Come on crowd around.

I might be wrong, but I think he says "Crowd around" again in like the funniest way humanly possible.

 

[HomerSimpson-Man]

Homer's accent totally delivers this one.

Homer: In America, first you you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

 

[Gary Whitta]

"If I was that drunk I would remember it." - Homer.

 

[GG-Duo]

Bart: No offense Homer, your half-assed under-parenting was a whole lot better than your half-assed over-parenting

Homer: Oooh, but I was using my whole ass.

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

Bart: I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas.

Soap Star: I'll see to it you don't get apricot one...

 

[Gary Whitta]

"After all, we are from the land of chocolate!"
"Mmmmmm... land of chocolate..."
*land of chocolate dream*
"Homer!"
"Mmm, wha...? Sorry, we were talking about chocolate?"
"That was ten minutes ago!"

 

[Umino]

"Batman's a scientist"

"Marge I'm not going to lie to you." Continues reading.

 

[twinturbo2]

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

 

[Manp]

Carl: Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just 'cause he's a little slow...
Homer: Something was said... not good. What was it?
"Don't yell at Homer!" No, that's OK. What was it? ... Slow!
They called you slow!
How dare you call me that! I... huh?
Lenny: Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you are slow.
Homer: Something said... not good.
Lenny: Get the hell out of here!

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

"I am not a butt!"

Bart: Hi, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds and I'm a little behind.

 

[Gary Whitta]

"Press any key... which one's the Any key?"

 

[twinturbo2]

They taste like... burning!

 

[disappeared]

"There, you found the floor."

 

[TheCardPlayer]

''Dad! You killed zombie Flanders!''

''....He was a zombie?''

 

[MiamiWesker]

Homer: All work and no play make Homer go something something...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!