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Things you used to believe as a kid

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Like many kids, I thought anal sex was normal sex and I had no idea you put your penis in a girl's vagina.

On a side note, I found out what sex was in 3rd grade. When I explained it to a girl that didn't know after she asked me, she started crying.
 
I thought that dry humping could get girls pregnant (my older cousins told me this).

I thought that girls put tampons in their assholes (my older cousins told me this).

When I had to sit on the toilet, I would try to hurry because I thought the toilet seat and lid would sprout teeth and eat me. (My own stupid imagination came up with this).

Either way, my cousins were dicks.
 
BatmanBatmanBatman said:
Also thought that different languages just swapped letters like E in English would maybe be K in Spanish.
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This

Also that Tokusatsus and action movies (wich in that time meant stuff like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles =P) would teach me how to fight and that this would be useful if bad people atacked me
 
My dad's side of the family is portugese, but I got mostly mom's European genes. I seriously thought my brother was literally black until like the 6th grade because his skin complextion is like a really dark islader tan.

In the church I went to as a kid there was a giant crucifix behind the altar with the INRI sign at the top. It bugged me until like third grade until I asked my mom why Jesus had a license plate above his head.
 
-Some fool told me asian girls had sideways vaginas. I totally believed him, I mean how on earth could I disprove that?! I was like 9 or 10.
-My mom had these pictures of saints everywhere even in the bathroom. I felt like god or some saint was looking at me shit through the picture so I would turn them around and do my business.
-When I was a teen I thought masturbating was like killing millions of unborn potential babies. That guilt lasted for like the first 6 times... so by day two I was over it :p
-Some kid told me Freddy Krueger was real, and I saw this scene where he cut his way out of some lady's stomach. I thought if he could come out of that he could come at me from anywhere. So for years I would check the toilet before taking a dump. I was afraid his hand would come up and tare up my ass :(
 
CorkyFromLifeGoesOn said:
Some fool told me asian girls had sideways vaginas. I totally believed him, I mean how on earth could I disprove that?! I was like 9 or 10.
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Saaaaaaaaaaame :lol :lol
 
Also, because I grew up in the 80's with Just Say No To Drugs and that this is your brain on drugs ad everywhere, it took me a couple years to realize mom and dad weren't actually buying drugs when they would take me to CVS, which had a sign that read “drug store”.
 
CorkyFromLifeGoesOn said:
-Some kid told me Freddy Krueger was real, and I saw this scene where he cut his way out of some lady's stomach. I thought if he could come out of that he could come at me from anywhere. So for years I would check the toilet before taking a dump. I was afraid his hand would come up and tare up my ass :(
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I would check the toilet... but for other reasons:

ghoulies.jpg
 
Pagusas said:
That Labor day was a day celebrating pregnant women and there struggles. I believed this till I was 21 (Im not joking)
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When I was a kid I used to think it was likely a national day for babies to come home or something, and that the reason there was a saying to "Never wear white after labor day" is because white made women look fat or something.
 
I thought that if I got 2 + 2 wrong I would get glasses. As in someone asks me what 2+2 is. Vocally.

I also thought glasses were cool.
 
I believed humans had already made it to mars.
boy was i dissapointed when i found out we've only been to the moon... 40 years ago.

I blame that movie red planet, also Total Recall.
 
When I was younger, I don't think it ever occurred to me that I'd grow old. I think I just assumed I'd be a kid forever and nothing would ever really change from how life was then.
 
eravulgaris said:
You would be surprised how many people still think this. I hear it all the time.
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I know someone who was shocked when he went to Hiroshima because he thought it would look like Fallout or something. Sadly, he wasn't a small child at the time.
 
Gryphter said:
I used to believe that turning the clock back for Daylight Savings occurred at midnight. This meant that if you stayed up late and watched TV from 11pm till then, when the clock would roll back 1 hour you would have to rewatch the same exact show (same episode and everything) that was on at 11.
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this makes perfect sense
lol.gif
 
When I was 5, I thought He-man lived in Japan. Because He-man fought dragons and dragons are from Japan. Sound logic.


I used to believe you were traveling to a different planet when you went from one city to the next.

I also used to believe cities were like families, which is why they all had "last names".
 
Andiie said:
When I was younger, I don't think it ever occurred to me that I'd grow old. I think I just assumed I'd be a kid forever and nothing would ever really change from how life was then.
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Andiie
Junior Member
(Today, 02:50 PM)
 
When I was a kid, I believed:
1) Justice is there, bad guys will get nailed down sooner or later.
2) Every jobs are fair, nothing as a low tier job
3) All people that do their job decent get their fair amount share of reward, be that salary or recognizance or in some other form.
4) job skills > social skills.

I was wrong.
 
In Wayne's World, Wayne holds a cue card that reads "He blows goats, I have proof". Having no idea what blowing REALLY meant, I assumed the guy sneezed, and goats came out.
 
The more responsibility you acquire at the office the higher your salary, O BOY WAS I WRONG.

This isn't something I believed as a kid but as a young adult. Marriage = more consistent blowjobs and other sexual pleasures but no it equaled alot less.
 
Heh, when I was younger, you know, learning about religion and dying and going to heaven, I always though that would be the place where I would be able to get the answer to all the questions. I hate not having closure on something I am thinking about and that used to be my safety net. That yes, I will know what all the universe is made of, and how dinosaurs looked and how to create a hoverboard. Today, several years later, the atheist in me is a little sad :(
 
TheBranca18 said:
When my mom drank a soda in the car she was "drinking and driving".
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You stole mine! When I saw my Dad drinking coffee or a soda while driving I would tell him he shouldn't drink and drive because of the PSA's I saw. It made sense - you have to take one hand off the wheel to drink something - but the PSA's could have been more explicit for us kiddies.

Now that I think about it though, you should avoid drinking beverages of any kind (or eating) while driving if you can. That shit is distracting. themoreyouknow.gif

An original one then: I have no idea why, but I thought Japanese people were giants. I remember being scared about going to a "Japanese garden" because I thought there would be big scary giants there.

I also thought the NY (football) Giants were literally giants (more so than they actually are). I probably hadn't watched football on TV yet, but I'd hear my dad talking about them and I remember wondering how the Eagles could ever beat a team of 12-foot tall Goliaths.

I dunno - I had a thing with giants I guess.
 
When I was about four or three, I watched alot of those old black and white television shows, like Three Stooges or I Love Lucy. I thought that color was something that didn't exist back then, until color was invented.
 
I thought putting stickers on wood would cause whatever it was to fall apart completely.

I think my parents told me this so I wouldn't put stickers on furniture.


haha
 
My Mother is a very far left liberal; when I asked her what the difference between a Republican and a Democrat was after hearing the terms used on the radio, she gave me a very slanted answer. I grew up thinking that Republicans and conservatives were the most evil people on the planet. Whenever some one identified them selves as a conservative, I would wonder why they would say so aloud; they may as well have identified themselves as a Nazi in my mind. It wasn't until I was about 13 years old, that I realized my best friend and his family were Republicans. That made me realize that
most
Republicans are not evil in the least.

The ironic thing about this though, is that this attempt by my mother to instill liberal values in me backfired gloriously. I am by far the most politically conservative member of my family.
 
When I was little I tore a tag off of a bean bag that said "to be removed only by the consumer." I didn't know what "consumer" meant, so my brother and sister had me convinced for the entire day that I was going to go to jail. My sister even referred to the lunch she made me as my "last meal."
 
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