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[LegendofLex]

This is true, but then immediately Palpatine tells him "lol, well I actually can't save your wife, but I bet if we work together we can figure it out, right?" He should see at that point that he has been betrayed, but instead he gets on his knees and says "I will do whatever you ask of me," and goes off to slaughter a room full of five year olds.

He's so desperate at that point that he had already effectively killed one of his superiors. Because he was forced into participating in the war, killing is what he does best. Palpatine tests his inhibitions by having him kill the unarmed Dooku on the Hand in the beginning of the episode. The entire scenario of Ep II and III was designed to break Anakin so he could be delivered to Palpatine.

 

[Calamari41]

He's so desperate at that point that he had already effectively killed one of his superiors. Because he was forced into participating in the war, killing is what he does best. Palpatine tests his inhibitions by having him kill the unarmed Dooku on the Hand in the beginning of the episode. The entire scenario of Ep II and III was designed to break Anakin so he could be delivered to Palpatine.

I get the internal logic, but again it presents Anakin as a stooge who is tricked into turning dark rather than someone who makes the choice. It makes him a weak lapdog, and goes against the authority and fear that we see Darth Vader command in the original trilogy. I've simply never been able to consider in my mind that Dark Anakin from the last half of Episode III is anything close to the same character as Darth Vader.

In my mind, the better heel turn sequence would involve Palpatine saying "this war is bullshit, people are dying like flies, and it could have ended a long time ago if you had done what you know needs to be done. I have the resources and the political clout to get this done... help me out here, and we can end this tomorrow. And by the way, just think about what we can accomplish together in peacetime." At least with that reasoning, you can say that Palpatine was telling the truth and Anakin wasn't tricked into going along with him.

 

[LegendofLex]

"Being tricked into turning dark" is a common thread that runs underneath the entire series, and is borrowed from the Christian mythology that inspired the Star Wars good/evil dichotomy. Palpatine's strategy leans heavily on the Christian perception of Satan as the tempter who appeals to your base desires in insidious ways. There's a reason he's called Darth Sidious.

And, honestly, while Vader definitely has a more commanding presence in the OT, he's still very much a lapdog if you look at how he responds to the Emperor and anything revolving around his reasoning behind serving the Dark Side.

VADER
What is thy bidding, my Master?

EMPEROR
Send the fleet to the far side of Endor. There it will stay until
called for.

VADER
What of the reports of the Rebel fleet massing near Sullust?

EMPEROR
It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young
Skywalker will be one of us! Your work here is finished, my friend. Go
out to the command ship and await my orders.

VADER
Yes, my Master.

EMPEROR
Then you must go to the Sanctuary Moon and wait for them.

VADER (skeptical)
He will come to me?

EMPEROR
I have foreseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will
come to you and
then you will bring him before me.

VADER (bows)
As you wish.

VADER
You don't know the power of the dark side. I must obey my master.

 

[dragonyeuw]

It's so bad. There's no nuance to his character development and it's all so rushed because Lucas gave Anakin a flimsy motivation and made such a poor job of his character in the previous two films that he needs to spend half of Revenge of the Sith to continue establishing Anakin as a 'good guy'.

Nope, nothing nuanced. He either exaggerated the character so that we accept him as good( a giddy selfless 8 year old who cares for others), or a moody teen who randomly shifts between good and shitty from one scene to the next, or even within the same scene. We have to be reminded that Anakin and Obi-wan are friends( haha, remember the nest of gundarks, giggle giggle), that Anakin and Padme are in love, one scene his gaze makes her uncomfortable and Padme seems largely unfazed by him, ten minutes later they're in some eatery seemingly on a date (huh? What happened in-between for Padme to warm up to him?).

Then later on, Anakin reveals himself as a murderer. Oh, that's ok honey. You're just the kind of man I will marry and produce offspring with. Let's just ignore that I've been depicted as a sensible politician and former Queen of a democratic republic( hold up, isn't a monarchy and democracy in themselves a contradiction? Oh forget it) who has the judgment to lead a planet, but not the judgment to realize that after indicating you support a dictatorship, as well as straight up murdering women and children, I still will fall for you. Because, ya know.....reasons etc.

That wouldn't work. Yoda told Luke that he was head of the Jedi council for over 800 years in Empire Strikes Back

His exact word was 'for over 800 years have I trained Jedi'. That doesn't suggest there was a Jedi Council, or that he was the head of it. There really is nothing to suggest even that Dagobah wasn't always Yoda's home, and that he was known as 'THE' Jedi master who would take on special potentials ( like Luke) one at a time. Obi-wan calls Yoda 'the Jedi master who instructed me', which judging by the Luke-Yoda scenes we'd naturally believe that Obi-wan had a similar training with Yoda, when the PT more or less implies that Obi-wan was imply one of the younglings in Yoda's class. Because Qui-gon was really Obi-wan's instructor/master. It's amazing how many contradictions exist when he had the OT right there to use as a guide.

 

[Calamari41]

"Being tricked into turning dark" is a common thread that runs underneath the entire series, and is borrowed from the Christian mythology that inspired the Star Wars good/evil dichotomy. Palpatine's strategy leans heavily on the Christian perception of Satan as the tempter who appeals to your base desires in insidious ways. There's a reason he's called Darth Sidious.

I see that as well, but I don't recall it being so blatant with the other Sith Lords in the series. We don't know Darth Maul's story, but Count Dooku is able to explain logically why he turned. Sidious and Vader try to explain logically to Luke why he should turn (though they do try to piss him off in order to get him to make the plunge.) With Anakin, right after he turns, Sidious basically tells him that he was making shit up. In the other cases, maybe they were tricked but it wasn't as blatant as them being offered something tangible which turned out to never have been available in the first place.

Edit:

And, honestly, while Vader definitely has a more commanding presence in the OT, he's still very much a lapdog if you look at how he responds to the Emperor and anything revolving around his reasoning behind serving the Dark Side.

*quotes*

You're right on this. The relationship is similar.

 

[LegendofLex]

I see that as well, but I don't recall it being so blatant with the other Sith Lords in the series.

Anakin's selfishness is much more immature and childish than Dooku's. Dooku is disillusioned with the Republic because it is corrupt. Anakin is disillusioned with the Jedi Order because they won't let him do as he wishes. Palpatine pretends to want to offer him this freedom, but in reality he's just dangling a carrot on a stick. No matter how powerful Vader becomes, he'll never get the happiness he was looking for.

Yeah, but considering Palpatine had hidden his identity as a Sith Lord from the Jedi including Anakin, wouldn't that kind of kill the trust thing, including the promise that this guy can help me save my wife? I mean at that point, I'd be thinking that this guy Palpatine was full of shit. Hold up wait, I've just destroyed my life as a Jedi to save my wife, you now want me to do what? Kill everyone at the Jedi temple? Hold on, hold on, this wasn't part of the script!

Anakin doesn't trust the Jedi, either; he ultimately ends up siding with the side that promises to give him what he wants. He's too self-absorbed to realize that it's all false promises, or to care that what's being asked of him is horrific.

 

[dragonyeuw]

Then in Episode III, he's afraid - the wife he isn't supposed to have is going to die. He can't go to the Jedi, because they'll expel him from the Order. Meanwhile, Palpatine is encouraging him to find a way to save his wife, feeding him hints that he knows of a way. Even though, when he learns the Palpatine is the Sith Lord, he knows what he ought to do, there's a nagging feeling that Palpatine is his only hope. And Palpatine is someone who he felt he could trust. So in the end he sides with Palpatine, convincing himself that whatever the cost of doing so, he needs to pay it to save his wife.

Yeah, but considering Palpatine had hidden his identity as a Sith Lord from the Jedi including Anakin, wouldn't that kind of kill the trust thing, including the promise that this guy can help me save my wife? I mean at that point, I'd be thinking that this guy Palpatine was full of shit. Hold up wait, I've just destroyed my life as a Jedi to save my wife, you now want me to do what? Kill everyone at the Jedi temple? Hold on, hold on, this wasn't part of the script!

 

[BFIB]

I really wanted Lucas to focus on why the Jedi Order is so important in how it keeps Jedi from taking the "easy way out" and not turning to the dark side. Bring up the old Sith hierarchy, and how it took the Order being created to truly "destroy" the Sith. However, in the weeds you have Palpatine. Strong in the Force, and dedicated to the old religion of the Sith. He has his apprentice Maul, who is his go between to the Mandalorians, who want control of the outer rim territories. Palpatine sees his way to truly gain more control by manipulating both sides.

So since the Jedi Order has kept peace for a "thousand generations" it was going to take a true conflict to destroy the Jedi. You could have Palpatine, Senator at the time, slowly manipulating the Mandalorians into using their clone facilities to create an army that would truly be a conflict for the Jedi to fight. Episode 1 would be in the middle of the war. The Jedi are being wiped out, and stretched too thin. In doing this, Palpatine is given his "emergency" powers by the Senate to form his Storm Trooper army, since the Jedi are not able to defend the republic. Maul is also the enforcer for the Mandalorians, and a strong Force on the dark side. Since the Jedi haven't encountered the dark side in so long, no Jedi can defeat him. Enter Anakin, a young pilot making waves in the Outer Rim with a ragtag fleet fighting the Mandalorians. Obi-Wan is sent out there to help, and senses how strong in the Force Anakin is. He brings him before the Order, the Order agrees that Anakin should be trained in the Jedi Arts, even though there are some concerns about his age, and how reckless he is. Anakin requests that his young wife also be brought under the Orders protection. The Jedi agree, despite reservations about his age, and his recklessness.

So, that sets up the next movie. You can have Maul basically waging war on the Jedi himself, and the Order is barely hanging on. Palpatine, who has the power of foresight, senses how on the brink Anakin is, and how strong in the force he is. Since the Emperor is all about control, and keeping those who are strong enough in the Force to defeat him under his wing, sets up Maul to kill Padme. During the assassination attempt, Padme is barely saved by Obi-Wan, and is taken into hiding by the Jedi Order. Anakin, now full of hate, is warned by Obi-Wan and Yoda to not use the dark side to defeat Maul, and to let Obi-Wan handle it, since he far better trained. Anakin does not listen, and defeats Maul by using all of his rage. The Emperor then presents his true self to Anakin, and informs Anakin that the Jedi Order will not let him and Padme live, because of Anakin utilizing both aspects of the Force. Anakin, now being seduced by the dark side and is blinded by it, confronts Obi-Wan, and their duel takes place. Obi-Wan wins, Anakin is badly injured, and is saved by Palpatine, who puts him in the suit to keep him alive.

Episode III would then be all out war. Vader hunting down every last Jedi until he gets Padme back, Obi-Wan being the last line of defense for Padme. The Emperor, now in full control, ends the conflict with the formation of the Empire, and the Mandalorians, who have their cloning facilities destroyed, have no choice but to surrender. Palpatine declares the Jedi Order no more, since the Empire will now protect the galaxy.

The last third of the movie would be Anakin confronting Obi-Wan. They have one final battle, and Padme tries to stop Anakin from killing Obi-Wan, who in turn with his rage, mortally wounds Padme. Since he is so blinded by his anger towards the Jedi Order, he then realizes that Padme is pregnant. He does not sense any life in Padme, so he leaves her behind with Obi-Wan, telling him he's "failed her".

Obi-Wan rushes Padme to his ship, and is able to bring her back to life. She is badly injured, but the babies are safe. Obi-Wan and Yoda, the last remaining Jedi, decide to separate the twins to keep them out of the reach of the Emperor and Anakin. Obi-Wan reaches out to an old family friend the Lars on Tattooine, and Leia is sent to Aldeerran, under the protection of the Organa family. Palpatine, now with his new apprentice, declares Anakin is no more, and will henceforth be known, as Darth Vader, the Emperors justice for the Empire.

The last shot is Beru and Owen holding baby Luke in front of the two suns.

I've even gone as far as to write some fanfiction on this. I'm sure its shit, but this is always how I envisioned the prequels being set up once they were announced.

 

[Calamari41]

Anakin's selfishness is much more immature and childish than Dooku's. Dooku is disillusioned with the Republic because it is corrupt. Anakin is disillusioned with the Jedi Order because they won't let him do as he wishes. Palpatine pretends to want to offer him this freedom, but in reality he's just dangling a carrot on a stick.

And there's the main crux of what I didn't like. I think it would have been better to have Anakin's selfishness be less immature and childish, and more pragmatic like Dooku's.

 

[LegendofLex]

And there's the main crux of what I didn't like. I think it would have been better to have Anakin's selfishness be less immature and childish, and more pragmatic like Dooku's.

Yeah, I agree. But I don't necessarily think that makes the story unconvincing, and indeed there are many (young) adults who fall into the same kinds of selfishness traps. Anakin's intentionally cast as a young man, not a world-weary middle-aged adult like we see in the OT.

I think a lot of the missing nuance is present in the novel, though. Really assuaged a lot of my feeling that his turn to the dark side was rushed in the films.

 

[Calamari41]

Yeah, I agree. But I don't necessarily think that makes the story unconvincing, and indeed there are many (young) adults who fall into the same kinds of selfishness traps. Anakin's intentionally cast as a young man, not a world-weary middle-aged adult like we see in the OT.

I don't necessarily think the story of him turning for those reasons is unconvincing either from a general view. I just think that it was done sloppily (he was very clearly lied to, and knew it immediately after turning), and the whole Jedi genocide thing makes a lot more sense in a "might makes right, these guys are holding us back, we need to kill them to impose our will, end this war, and run the galaxy the way it was meant to be run" way instead of "gotta save my wife, the guy who can maybe save her said to kill these kids so I guess I need to kill these kids" way.

Maybe I should read the novel for a more robust version of the events.

 

[dragonyeuw]

Anakin doesn't trust the Jedi, either; he ultimately ends up siding with the side that promises to give him what he wants. He's too self-absorbed to realize that it's all false promises, or to care that what's being asked of him is horrific.

It still comes down to how it was portrayed on-screen. The scenes immediately leading to that crucial moment when Anakin turns, should not have resulted in what ultimately transpired, at that moment. Even after he turns on Windu, once Palpatine establishes that they'd work together to discover the 'life' secret, at that point why exactly is he beholding to this guy? Why can't he go about discovering this secret on his own? Palpatine just indicated that he has no more idea of this secret than Anakin does. The overall plot dictates that Anakin has to turn, but how it's depicted onscreen is rushed and jumbled.

 

[Calamari41]

It still comes down to how it was portrayed on-screen. The scenes immediately leading to that crucial moment when Anakin turns, should not have resulted in ultimately transpired, at that moment. Even after he turns on Windu, once Palpatine establishes that they'd work together to discover the 'life' secret, at that point why exactly is he beholding to this guy? Why can't he go about discovering this secret on his own? Palpatine just indicated that he has no more idea of this secret than Anakin does. He should feel just as betrayed by Palpatine, but sides with him anyway....because reasons.

I don't think they necessarily should have to be "false" promises, either. Its more powerful in my mind if the Dark Side really is the easy answer, "but at what cost?"

Even applying it to this story as-is, maybe Palpatine actually is able to save Padme and the children... but she leaves him because of the path he's taking. To me, that's more powerful than "nope, he lied, she dies anyway." This also gives the added benefit of not creating the "Leia remembers her mom" plot hole.

 

[dragonyeuw]

I don't think they necessarily should have to be "false" promises, either. Its more powerful in my mind if the Dark Side really is the easy answer, "but at what cost?"

Exactly. Does discovering this 'dark side' secret have to involve killing everyone in sight? Probably not, but I'll just go along with it anyway for plot's sake.

 

[zeemumu]

I assumed the whole turn was Palpatine being really friendly with Anakin and feeding his frustration with them over not making him a master and only putting him on the council as a sort of double agent to spy on Palpatine. On top of that he had the dying in childbirth vision and Palpatine was all like, "you know, there's some cool dark side stuff you should look into that might help your situation." Anakin tried to remain professional while at the same time getting what he wanted by asking to go with them to arrest Palpatine so he could extract the information from him while at the same time remaining loyal to the Jedi. He got desperate when Mace was gonna kill Palpatine and ended up causing his death, and since he can't go back to the people that he's pissed at, he just decided to double down and find out the immortality secret so he could eventually use it to save Padme and then immediately turn his back on Palpatine, and after Padme dies he's got nothing to lose so he triples down on the Dark Side.

 

[ryseing]

The Jedi should be a lot more subtle. Pretty much nobody in the Original Trilogy really knew much about the Jedi, almost as if they were figures of legend, yet we're supposed to accept that a mere 20 years before, Jedi were running around chopping shit and doing magic?

You forget how big the galaxy is. 99.9% of the people in the galaxy would have never seen a Jedi before. The ones who did see them just saw glimpses.

Agreed that Maul should have lasted past episode 1. Great villain that didn't get his due in the movies. Thankfully Clone Wars helped a bit. Mandalore/Death Watch arc was damned good.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

That wouldn't work. Yoda told Luke that he was head of the Jedi council for over 800 years in Empire Strikes Back

Does he? I don't remember a Jedi council being ever mentioned in the OT.

If I recall correctly he just says he has been training Jedi for 800 years, which can just mean people traveled all the way to Dagobah to meet him just like Luke did.

 

[dragonyeuw]

If I recall correctly he just says he has been training Jedi for 800 years, which can just mean people traveled all the way to Dagobah to meet him just like Luke did.

That is what he said, nothing about a council. Just thinking more about Luke being trained by Yoda, had Kenobi not been 'killed' by Vader, would he have even sent him to Yoda? Or is it reasonable to assume he'd have continued to train Luke himself?

 

[LegendofLex]

That is what he said, nothing about a council. Just thinking more about Luke being trained by Yoda, had Kenobi not been 'killed' by Vader, would he have even sent him to Yoda? Or is it reasonable to assume he'd have continued to train Luke himself?

I always assumed that they wouldn't want to draw attention to Yoda, given that they're the only two confirmed Jedi in the known universe, so Obi-Wan would have trained him and likely wouldn't have even introduced him to Yoda until his job was done.

Interestingly, I'm not even convinced that it was supposed to be clear to the viewer that Yoda was in fact a Jedi based purely on the OT films.

 

[dragonyeuw]

I always assumed that they wouldn't want to draw attention to Yoda, given that they're the only two confirmed Jedi in the known universe, so Obi-Wan would have trained him and likely wouldn't have even introduced him to Yoda until his job was done.

I don't know if the empire even knew whether or not Kenobi and Yoda were alive at that point. Remember, Vader doesn't seem aware of Kenobi till he's on the death star:

Tarkin: ObiWan Kenobi? What makes you think so?

Vader: A tremor in the force. The last time I felt it, was in the presence of my old master.

Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now.

Vader: Don't underestimate the force.


I get the impression both Kenobi and Yoda were generally considered dead at that point, unless there's some EU fiction that speaks to the empire pursuing the two of them around the time of ANH/ESB. But that isn't indicated in the films.

Interestingly, I'm not even convinced that it was supposed to be clear to the viewer that Yoda was in fact a Jedi based purely on the OT films.

?? On Hoth, Kenobi referred to Yoda as 'the Jedi Master who instructed me'. All of the Dabobah scenes with Yoda and Luke made it clear that Yoda was a Jedi.

 

[LegendofLex]

When I say "the only two confirmed Jedi in the known universe," I mean from their perspective, not from the Empire's. They don't know if there's anyone else they can rely on to train Luke. That's why they wouldn't want to draw attention to themselves - and, particularly, why Obi-Wan wouldn't want to draw attention to Yoda after having come out of retirement.

?? On Hoth, Kenobi referred to Yoda as 'the Jedi Master who instructed me'. All of the Dabobah scenes with Yoda and Luke made it clear that Yoda was a Jedi.

Turns out not seeing these films in years makes a difference! You're right, the film does make several references to Yoda as a Jedi Master.

I'd just been thinking of the actual training sessions, where he does seem to be very Force-attuned, and clearly has spent hundreds of years training Jedi. But that by itself doesn't make him a Jedi. He could just be a hermit who happens to have lots of knowledge about the Force. The OT certainly hadn't established much about what distinguishes a Jedi apart from the lightsaber.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

That is what he said, nothing about a council. Just thinking more about Luke being trained by Yoda, had Kenobi not been 'killed' by Vader, would he have even sent him to Yoda? Or is it reasonable to assume he'd have continued to train Luke himself?

Force ghost Kenobi kinda disagrees with Yoda when Yoda starts thinking Luke can't be trained. So, if Kenobi knew that Yoda would react like that, I guess he would have trained Luke himself, if he had had the choice and the time of course.

 

[dragonyeuw]

When I say "the only two confirmed Jedi in the known universe," I mean from their perspective, not from the Empire's. They don't know if there's anyone else they can rely on to train Luke. That's why they wouldn't want to draw attention to themselves - and, particularly, why Obi-Wan wouldn't want to draw attention to Yoda after having come out of retirement.

Ah I see, point taken. Ignore all that stuff I wrote before then lol...

I suppose the question then becomes, how did Obi-wan even know Yoda was still alive? Were they in contact through the force, or sense each other from that distance? Dagobah seemed like it was quite far away from Tatooine. I guess Yoda is at that level of ability, but Obi-wan referred Luke to him, so I'm guessing Obi had the ability to sense that Yoda was alive....?

I'd just been thinking of the actual training sessions, where he does seem to be very Force-attuned, and clearly has spent hundreds of years training Jedi. But that by itself doesn't make him a Jedi. He could just be a hermit who happens to have lots of knowledge about the Force. The OT certainly hadn't established much about what distinguishes a Jedi apart from the lightsaber.

It's well established in lore that there are force users who don't identify as either Jedi or Sith, so yeah technically it is possible for Yoda to have not been a Jedi if it hadn't been established in ESB.

 

[dragonyeuw]

Force ghost Kenobi kinda disagrees with Yoda when Yoda starts thinking Luke can't be trained. So, if Kenobi knew that Yoda would react like that, I guess he would have trained Luke himself, if he had had the choice and the time of course.

Funny thing is, Obi-Wan would be well aware based on the PT, that Luke would be too old to have commenced Jedi training. He took the risk that Luke could possibly wind up like his father, but I suppose at that point they were out of options.

 

[Fj0823]

When Obi-Wan calls Yoda the one who instructed him, he's specifically talking about the Force Immortality training or did Yoda also taught Obi as a youngling?

I can't seem to remember any canon story on Obi Wan's Childhood

 

[dragonyeuw]

When Obi-Wan calls Yoda the one who instructed him, he's specifically talking about the Force Immortality training or did Yoda also taught Obi as a youngling?

I can't seem to remember any canon story on Obi Wan's Childhood

If you go by the info presented in the OT, you'd assume that Obi-wan was trained by Yoda much the same way Luke was. If the PT didn't exist I'd assume that Yoda was native to Dagobah, and that Jedi hopefuls were sent there because the planet was strong in the force and an ideal 'final training ground' for students to become Jedi. Obi-wan's comment about Yoda instructing him can only be weighed against the info we're given in ESB. We know nothing of the Jedi Order other than vague descriptions about being peacekeepers of the old Republic. But their traditional methods, a council, padawan, or anything like that is not known. These concepts were introduced and fleshed out in the PT. Then again the OT does make it clear that the Jedi were an extinct order, but likely had established teaching codes. We could reasonably assume that Luke being sent to Dagobah wouldn't be a normal means of training a Jedi.

But once the PT comes out, between TPH and AOTC, basically we see that Qui-gon was chiefly responsible for Obi-wan's training from padawan to Jedi, and we can infer that Obi-wan was likely a youngling in the Jedi classroom under Yoda's tutelage. I'm sure Qui-gon wasn't a thing back in 1980, hence no reference to him. Making him Obi-wan's Master within the framework of the PT storyline forces us to come up with other scenarios for what exactly Obi-wan meant, when he called Yoda his instructor in ESB.

I'm guessing that Yoda teaches the basics, until a youngling is assigned to a Master. Which, you'd think the reverse would be the case: Yoda should be the last instructor you get, the one who teaches you the finer nuances of the force, the philosophical side of it, before you become a Jedi. Yoda was the one who promoted Obi-wan to Knight, so I imagine he is one of a few with that authority ( Mace too?). So he just seems more like the Master who decides at the end if you become a Jedi or not, not an instructor teaching the kiddies how to blindly deflect blasters like in AOTC.

 

[Croatoan]

Episode 1: Padme, Qui Gon's niece and, secretly, the Queen of Naboo gets kidnapped by the Hutt's bounty hunters for...reasons. Jabba calls Qui Gon to gloat but instead gets threatened by an infuriated grey jedi who has lost reason and is falling back to his Republic Special Forces persona. Qui Gon then starts killing his way through the Hutt ranks and the Jedi Council sends Kenobi to track him down and bring him in.

The whole story becomes a cat and mouse thriller between Qui Gon and Kenobi. Eventually Qui Gon recovers Padme with the aid of Anakin. Kenobi then catches up to and defeats Qui Gon before returning him to the Council in chains.

Episode 2: Darth Maul captures Anakin during an op with Kenobi. Qui Gon is released from force prison to track down Darth Maul with the aid of Kenobi. Maul has a perverse infatuation with Anakin and begins to psychologically mess with his mind via torture and long, self absorbed, diatribes on the dark side. Anakin fights the evil that is slowly building inside for most of the movie.

The two Jedi race around the galaxy looking for Anakin but instead get pulled into the greater war that is brewing. By chance they come across Anakin and Maul and are able to rescue Anakin but Qui Gon gets killed by Maul.

After killing Qui Gon, Darth Maul reveals himself to actually BE Qui Gon in disguise. The impostor Qui Gon was merely a force sensitive patsy who had his face surgically altered.

OG Qui then escapes. The movie ends with him having an audience with a robed Palpatine.

Episode 3: Anakin continues his slide to the dark side as he finds himself at odds with Kenobi's teachings. Qui Gon, who has resumed the Darth Maul persona reveals that he turned to the dark side because he liked having sex with his wife.

Unfortunately his wife is killed and his daughter, who is a sith in training,is captured by republic forces. He vows to bring down the republic and rescue his taken daughter.

Meanwhile Anakin is becoming an alcoholic and having lots of illegal sex with women. One of those women is Padme, who likes to slum it sometimes due to hating her arranged marriage husband.

Padme gets pregnant, with Anakin's baby, and goes to Anakin for help. Anakin tells her he has grown enough in power to abort the babies. Padme gets pissed and swears she never wants to see Anakin again. Anakin shrugs and continues his life of fucking twi' lik hookers and death stick abuse.

Word gets back to the council that Anakin has illegally impregnated a woman and worse, has had repeated illegal sex with multiple women. They send Kenobi to arrest him but he fails and only manages to anger Anakin.

Anakin, disillusioned with the order, and high on 17 kinds of drugs , breaks into the younglings bunk area and murders every one of them because...reasons. He then flees the planet to reconnect with Darth Maul.

The Council deems Anakin a serious Bad Guy and sends Kenobi after Anakin.

Anakin is able to rejoin maul and the two start assaulting republic compounds looking for Maul's daughter. They eventually find her and are able to rescue her. Maul's daughter is hot though and Anakin can't help but fuck her. This pisses off Qui Gon Maul and the two fight.

While Maul and Anakin are fighting Kenobi shows up and starts wrecking shop. He manages to cut Maul in half AND slice up anakin before the Emperor shows up and electrocutes his ass. Kenobi falls down some shaft and the Emperor manages to save the severely delimbed Anakin.

Meanwhile Maul's daughter is on a quest to eliminate Anakin's unwanted babies, because she had sex with him and thinks she is in love. She tracks down who padme is and finds out that the woman is actually Queen Amidala.

Like a ninja she infiltrates the hospital and kills a sleeping padme. Unfortually though, padme had a force accelerated gestation period and the babies where already born. As Maul's daughter frantically searchers for the new borns Kenobi shows up and cuts her in half.

Meanwhile Anakin is turned into the cyborg Darth Vader who is extremely distressed to find out his illegitimate children where actually born. He makes it his life's goal to snuff them out in order to avoid paying for childcare.

 

[Ecotic]

The prequels needed to find a different way of injuring Anakin without going to such an extreme as they did, with fourth degree burns over 100% of his remaining body after losing all his limbs. If Anakin survived by some future technology miracle he would need hospitalization for years and some kind of extensive artificial skin grafting. He definitely couldn't be up and walking on the Star Destroyer bridge 24 hours later just by putting him in a suit and without any physical therapy.