Escape Goat
Member
I'm not sure what closing this thread is going to accomplish? If they do why not just keep posting in some new thread? Stop posting when a mod comes in and says "Okay, you have no right for peaceful assembly. Break it up." ?
Koodo said:This is my opinion, so don't cut my throat.
I personally agree with the abolishment of this thread (and Negro-age and whatever other similar mega-thread). Gay issues, discussions and whatever else should not be concentrated in one single space. If this forum is actually tolerant and accepting, these topics should be everywhere; they should permeate the forum just as naturally as heterosexual topics do. Saying that this thread was essential because people felt understood and accepted is so backwards to me; gay members should feel like that everywhere on Gaf, not just in one little thread.
I was this close to doing that. =pZephyrFate said:"oh hey I want to make a gay-age thread about coming out" in OT
I don't even remember coming out threads before this one, honestly.Rez said:it's not about only feeling comfortable in one thread, it's about seeing a poster who doesn't walk around with a "I AM A HOMOSEXUAL" tag post in this thread and think 'oh, he's gay? that's really cool.'
I was this close to doing that. =p
Koodo said:And as for how it seems daunting to go around and creating gay topics, you don't think that was in part because of this thread? If this thread didn't exist and the slowly increasing gay population on Gaf kept posting their gay topics wherever they pleased (as they should), then it wouldn't seem so daunting.
Dead Man said:Where will I post my body type preference questions now? Hardly thread worthy.
Well, you're gonna get what you want.Koodo said:We'll have to agree to disagree. I personally found it more daunting to post any gay-related post anywhere on this forum because of this thread, because I kept thinking someone would be an ass and say "post that in GayGAF" (and I am positively sure to have witnessed this happen at least once). I kept posting my gay comments regardless, because I wasn't going to let an asshole stop me from doing so.
As for the typical "we have too many gay threads" comment? I would welcome those with open arms. Let those assholes bitch; bitch back at them, show them proof that they are being hypocrites (given the amount of girl-age threads, this is quite easy); heck, PM a mod, I remember reading in the TOS that this should be encouraged. Beat it into the heads of these bigots that they shouldn't bitch at the presence of gay topics; they should be celebrated just as much as any straight topic.
I agree that I also benefitted greatly from this thread, but imagine how much more we would all benefit if the entire forum was as accepting as this thread?
edit: oh, EviLore is here. Like someone else said, I've already voiced my opinion.
ZephyrFate said:I disagree. This forum has become increasingly MORE supportive and less heteronormative THANKS to this thread because it was a magnet that showed straight-GAF that we are here, we are queer, and we are normal just like you. It showed people who would have otherwise thought we were abominations that there is good in our lives and good in our actions.
This has spread outwards -- gaybashers are unanimously destroyed by not only GayGAF but other posters, too. Before this huge thread, we had a fuckton of complaints and bitching about there being too many gay threads. And that's just going to happen again once this goes.
It's going to be daunting to be gay no matter what we do, but this place made it easier for people to come to terms with what it meant to be gay, and thus improved their lives elsewhere, in other threads, in real life.
I sort of feel like I'm cross posting this from the other thread, but what is 'other stuff'? Do we have a list of approved subjects for conversation? What if someone wants to talk about something in general terms without a specific news article to point to, and it becomes a large thread? Does it get closed?Mumei said:It's a nice argument, but I honestly haven't noticed this social change. There were a lot of complaints about all the gay threads (though most of those threads were dedicated to news and not so much about chit-chat / getting to know you conversations, at least as I recall), yes, but I feel like GAF has always been very, very supportive of its gay members, and I felt very comfortable coming out when I did.
And I feel like the suggestion of smaller threads that relate to coming out / relationships would serve the same purpose as a thread like this, without all the excess stuff.
the thing is that NOT all gay topics were getting posted in this thread, as you'd know if you paid any attention to OT. pretty much every major gay-related news story did in fact get its own thread.Koodo said:Aren't you all proving my point then? That gay members didn't come out in their own threads because it seemed daunting? That gay members wouldn't like to post gay stuff because of possible bigotry? That gay members felt like they were walking around with a tag that said "Hey, I'm gay"?
Let me ask you: how the fuck do you think this is OK? Post your issues wherever you want, create threads for whatever you want. So what if some asshole comes and says shit about us? We would be doing a service to this forum by drawing attention to these bigots and getting them banned faster than they normally would. And as for how it seems daunting to go around and creating gay topics, you don't think that was in part because of this thread? If this thread didn't exist and the slowly increasing gay population on Gaf kept posting their gay topics wherever they pleased (as they should), then it wouldn't seem so daunting. In my opinion, everyone in this forum would get used to it and we wouldn't need to be going around feeling like we have an invincible tag that says "we are gay." On the contrary, we would start being treated like any other member.
The only way you would expect this forum to become any less heteronormative and more diverse is by trying, not by being complacent and posting all gay topics in a singular thread.
we're saying the same thing, essentially. what I'm saying is that having a thread like this that essentially identifies the gay posters for the people who may be a tad confused or insecure makes it easier for them to immediately find people they can relate to.Koodo said:Aren't you all proving my point then? That gay members didn't come out in their own threads because it seemed daunting? That gay members wouldn't like to post gay stuff because of possible bigotry? That gay members felt like they were walking around with a tag that said "Hey, I'm gay"?
Let me ask you: how the fuck do you think this is OK? Post your issues wherever you want, create threads for whatever you want. So what if some asshole comes and says shit about us? We would be doing a service to this forum by drawing attention to these bigots and getting them banned faster than they normally would. And as for how it seems daunting to go around and creating gay topics, you don't think that was in part because of this thread? If this thread didn't exist and the slowly increasing gay population on Gaf kept posting their gay topics wherever they pleased (as they should), then it wouldn't seem so daunting. In my opinion, everyone in this forum would get used to it and we wouldn't need to be going around feeling like we have an invincible tag that says "we are gay." On the contrary, we would start being treated like any other member.
The only way you would expect this forum to become any less heteronormative and more diverse is by trying, not by being complacent and posting all gay topics in a singular thread.
Replicant said:Evilore, if you're going to close this thread, then can we ask for your explicit permission to establish the following two threads:
"Coming out support thread |OT|"
"Gay and bisexual relationship thread |OT|"
Each thread will only contain discussion pertaining those issues. In other words, no pictures of hot men, no discussion of games. It's unfortunate, but those are the two most important things about the current GayGAF.
We have no choice, so let's fight to keep those threads alive.Yoshiya said:The thread did make it clear to the rest of the forum that NeoGAF had a large and active gay community. I think it is definitely possible that this visibility brought about positive changes in attitudes. Also, a coming-out thread, if purely for that, would probably fall off the first few pages pretty quickly. Many of those who are in need of such a thread wouldn't even know it existed.
Dead Man said:I sort of feel like I'm cross posting this from the other thread, but what is 'other stuff'? Do we have a list of approved subjects for conversation? What if someone wants to talk about something in general terms without a specific news article to point to, and it becomes a large thread? Does it get closed?
Weren't you doing a lot of not terribly gay-related manga/anime discussion earlier in the thread? Glass houses.Mumei said:Well, I think that a lot of discussion that isn't really pertinent to being gay takes place in this topic now. For instance, I've made quite a few posts that were about a recent television show I was watching or a video game I was replaying. I could have easily made a topic about how I was replaying Final Fantasy IX or starting to play Dissidia or rewatching The Wire (or participated in one of the dozen existing topics about The Wire), but instead I just made a post in here.
Yeah it sounds silly but I felt more comfortable with the forum as a whole knowing there are so many other gaygaf posters. I tend to be a shy person so it is hard to open up to a new community of people unless I feel I have something in common to talk about.Rez said:on a smaller scale, I would like that to be possible from someone reading a post of mine on the gaming side, and then coming here and being like "oh, Rez is gay? Poster X is gay? wow, all these guys I see in other threads just post like they would in any other. they seem like rational, well-rounded people, maybe I don't have to conform to a stereotype in order to not feel repressed."
FoneBone said:Weren't you doing a lot of not terribly gay-related manga/anime discussion earlier in the thread? Glass houses.
But yes, I think that's chaff that could stand to be moved into broader threads. I don't care for it, it's not what I read this thread for.
Rez said:I hadn't come out at the time, I hadn't even signed up to GAF yet, but it made me feel, for that moment, a real sense of admiration toward this forum. This was long before the existence of this thread. It isn't like GAF was some sort of anti-gay cesspool prior to this thread.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I think there is still a lot of 'general gay shit' that might not naturally fit into another thread though. I guess we'll see.Mumei said:Well, I think that a lot of discussion that isn't really pertinent to being gay takes place in this topic now. For instance, I've made quite a few posts that were about a recent television show I was watching or a video game I was replaying. I could have easily made a topic about how I was replaying Final Fantasy IX or starting to play Dissidia or rewatching The Wire (or participated in one of the dozen existing topics about The Wire), but instead I just made a post in here.
If the gay thread serves a social purpose for coming out / support / relationship advice (and I think it does do that, as well), then I think that's great. But that's what I mean by "other stuff"; basically anything that doesn't relate to being gay.
Does that make sense?
Mumei said:It's a nice argument, but I honestly haven't noticed this social change. There were a lot of complaints about all the gay threads (though most of those threads were dedicated to news and not so much about chit-chat / getting to know you conversations, at least as I recall), yes, but I feel like GAF has always been very, very supportive of its gay members, and I felt very comfortable coming out when I did.
And I feel like the suggestion of smaller threads that relate to coming out / relationships would serve the same purpose as a thread like this, without all the excess stuff.
w-wait a minute, I didn't think we were done here?Replicant said:
Rez said:w-wait a minute, I didn't think we were done here?
urgh, totally misread that. but yes, that's where it really does start to get problematically insularMumei said:What? I used myself as the example of that in that post. I wasn't even throwing stones at anyone else. :lol
I hope not, that thread is no good to me.Rez said:w-wait a minute, I didn't think we were done here?
FoneBone said:urgh, totally misread that. but yes, that's where it really does start to get problematically insular
Appreciate the kind words.EviLore said:I can absolutely appreciate what this thread means to some of you. Things are being changed a bit, the threads will be a little more specific, but that doesn't mean the death of gay-gaf by any means. Be open and comfortable on GAF at large (which has been my intention to facilitate a good environment for since I took over), while still having the support mechanisms via the new gay-gaf related threads being created.
Rez said:w-wait a minute, I didn't think we were done here?