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What made you lose complete sympathy/respect for a friend?

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
There was a kid I knew growing up. He got me into Eminem and he had similar interests as me. We weren’t close, but we still got along like we were best friends. We stopped talking after he had made up a bunch of lies about a kid being killed in St. Louis. He had my mother crying and we all were devastated about his story. My other friend’s dad went to check on him because his story sounded believable. Turned out he was making it all up. This was weird because he would make up this kids voice over the phone and we would talk to this kid like he was someone else. Years went by and I had forgotten about him. I saw his name in the paper because he had set his apartment complex on fire. I never tracked him down to say anything, but a week ago I was told he passed away. He was the same age as me. All these years I never reached out to him, but I saw his face again on his obituary. It brought all kinds of emotions.

A part of me is sad that he died. I don’t know how he died. My gut tells me he overdosed. I’ll always remember the days we hung out together and the time he lied to me. Somehow I feel like his death was his own fault.
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
I don’t think HR is a good cure for stupid. If he lost his job, chances are he’d double down. You said he seemed alright before, so I think some friendly conversations would have helped a lot more

I dunno man, I work on jobsites. Construction sites. We deal with situations differently, there doesn't tend to be some figure of authority to tattle to so i guess it works differently in the office?

You said he was a decent guy before, and this racism was apparently nothing more than talking out loud in an elevator with you. It wasn't as if he was causing a toxic work environment by being shitty and racist towards other coworkers, maybe it would've been more efficient to just have a chat with the dude instead of clamming up and running to hr?
Yeah I am not going to get into a deep conversation about this. I have a zero tolerance policy for racism when it comes to my immediate workspace. If you spout some racist nonsense to me while I am at work then I am going to go to HR. Full stop No excuses. Dumbasses I encounter out in the world is one thing, but in the building I walk into everyday (or used to because WFH) I have no patience for that.


If you wanna have a heart to heart and really just get down to discussing that kind of insanity with someone then more power to you. But I will not.
 
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Yeah I am not going to get into a deep conversation about this. I have a zero tolerance policy for racism when it comes to my immediate workspace. If you spout some racist nonsense to me while I am at work then I am going to go to HR. Full stop No excuses. Dumbasses I encounter out in the world is one thing, but in the building I walk into everyday (or used to because WFH) I have no patience for that.


If you wanna have a heart to heart and really just get down to discussing that kind of insanity with someone then more power to you. But I will not.

Fair enough
 
I got a few doozies, and they all happened relatively close together

1. I used to hang out with this dude that I met while working at a supermarket as a teenager. Within a couple months of him working there, we became good friends and would regularly hang out during lunch breaks as well as outside of work. We had similar, but different interests so we would always be putting each other onto cool shit that we thought the other would be into.

A couple years later we end up meeting up at a local brewery for lunch and some beers. When it came time to pay the check he starts fumbling around in his wallet and starts looking at me weird. This fucking guy started accusing me of stealing a 100$ bill that he had. The fact that he would even think about accusing me of that shit pissed me off so immensely that I haven't talked to him since.

2. I had a really close friend in high school (we'll call him Jeff) that ended up renting a house with one of our other friends (Fred). A few months later the two dudes that lived there and one of our other friends (Bob) went in on a cannabis grow operation. Pretty small time, like 15-20 plants. When the plants were ready they were cut down and hung up to dry. One day Fred goes into the shed where the plants were drying and they were all gone. Fred was fucking pissed - they had an ex con neighbor living across the street that was obviously unstable and would come over to hang out/drink/smoke weed. He was initially the prime suspect. Long story short, Jeff stole 90% of what was grown once it was dry enough for consumption.

It was bizarre. Jeff had this weird turn of character that happened pretty suddenly. The guy was pretty well known to be a high character guy, especially when it came to his friends. The house they rented was one of the defacto hang out spots for our group of friends and we all knew each other well. We ended up trying to have an intervention of sorts with Jeff and it did not go well at all. This whole debacle pretty much splintered the core group of our friends since some people were still friends with Jeff while others wanted to kick his fucking ass (which almost happened on a few occasions). It still trips me out to this day.

3. Around the same time we had this guy that started hanging out with us (George). He was a friend of a friend so we all assumed he was cool. We were all between 17-19 while this guy was in his mid twenties. He started hanging out with us mostly because he had connections with some prime whole sellers of very high quality cannabis and most of us were weed heads, so we naturally were partying together. Really smart dude with a wide range of interests.

As time went on, more and more was learned about George. He had connections with hard drug dealers as well as crazy ass shit like weapons, body armor, micro cameras, and other ridiculous shit. One of our friends was convinced he was a fed at one point and wanted nothing to do with George.

Anyway, one day our friend that introduced George to the group calls me, panicking like a mf'er and tells me that George was arrested. Knowing what we knew about him we all assumed it was something to do with drugs or weapons....ended up the guy was hooking up with some 15 year old girl.
 

Winter John

Gold Member
Things went wrong as they so often do when I found out my buddy was a Canadian. We were pals in high school, we did all the usual shit kids do. It was a normal friendship. Sure he talked funny but we just thought he was slow or from NJ or something. The signs were all there though. The weird accent. The double denim. The Rush tour t shirt. I didn't want to admit to myself that he might be Canadian. I just kept telling myself he was retarded. Then one morning he turned up with a Bryan Adams record. It was horrifying.
 

Apeopleman

Member
The dude was talking about racist conspiracy theories in the elevator. Of course I reported him to HR.


How is that even a question lol
Even though you‘re obviously a far leftist as from your posts in the now defunct politics forum, I still had respect for you because even while your awful opinions got shredded, you still kept showing face

Why would you jeopardize someone’s job and finances because they said some shit you don’t like? Have a word one on one with him, don’t be a little bitch and snitch on him to HR like some little child
 

NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
Even though you‘re obviously a far leftist as from your posts in the now defunct politics forum, I still had respect for you because even while your awful opinions got shredded, you still kept showing face

Why would you jeopardize someone’s job and finances because they said some shit you don’t like? Have a word one on one with him, don’t be a little bitch and snitch on him to HR like some little child
Dude shouldn't have been saying racist shit at work.
 

Dr. Claus

Vincit qui se vincit
Dude shouldn't have been saying racist shit at work.

I would agree, but I also don't believe any of that happened. If it did? Fuck that guy and I hope he learns. I hope HR had a talk with him and he didn't lose his job, but was educated on why he said what he said was ignorant and dumb.

But it most likely never happened so its a moot point.
 

Doom85

Member
Even though you‘re obviously a far leftist as from your posts in the now defunct politics forum, I still had respect for you because even while your awful opinions got shredded, you still kept showing face

Why would you jeopardize someone’s job and finances because they said some shit you don’t like? Have a word one on one with him, don’t be a little bitch and snitch on him to HR like some little child

I dunno, if they’re in the US, why would one risk their job and finances by spouting extreme political opinions? Rules are rules, and in at least everywhere I’ve worked the rules state you are not supposed to share political opinions with other co-workers at your job.

Somebody this stupid was probably going to lose their job eventually anyway, so don’t shit on Nobody Important just because they followed the rules. I remember a decade ago at my old job a dude got fired a week in for spouting some homophobic bullshit because, again, the rules state that shit’s not allowed. If somebody holds views like this and just has no self-control in sharing that shit 24/7 then I recommend not living in the US because that shit don’t fly here.
 

Happosai

Hold onto your panties
My best friend of 15-years started ranting to me one day about his paranoia with "Mexicans invading the U.S." and made some ethnically inappropriate comments in general. Friendship was over in a second. #1. I detest political discussions #2. He knew I married a Mexican and that I now live in Mexico.
Our words are enough to destroy friendships but it showed me something I didn't know about him. Had I known he was a bigot sooner...friendship would have ended years ago.
 

Brian Fellows

Pete Carroll Owns Me
A friend of mine was arrested for possesion and distribution of child porn a couple of weeks ago. Yep that'll do it.
 

WoJ

Member
Watching how people - on both sides of the political spectrum - acted and posted on social media during the 2020 election and covid. I don't want trash human beings like that in my life no matter how long I've known them. So I've started phasing them out of my life.
 

Valonquar

Member
When he tried to make it look like I wasn't doing my job, in an effort to make an excuse as to why he hadn't done his job yet...except he did so in such a novice manner it was obvious to his boss, and my boss. Plus I actually document shit well. I always make a real effort to get along with co-workers since you have to spend so much time around them, but have learned the hard way to always cover your ass.
 

SafeOrAlone

Banned
I wouldn't say he was a friend but he was a coworker I talked games and anime with and I lost respect for him when he got into a fight with a guy 30 to 40 years older than him for barely a reason. I'd already seen him throw a couple of fits before and got into it with another coworker but they got over that spat a few minutes later. The fits I was okay with since I had seen that type of thing with other coworkers before quite often and the spat with the coworker made sense to me since both guys were fairly young. The fight with the old guy was just silly and escalated into something that never needed to happen and just had me reevaluate hanging with a guy who blows up so often because of his short guy issues.
Lol, idk. People always imply people who are short are angry about it, which feels unfair. Seems like we are projecting that they should be angry about it, when we say that. My two shorter friends are some of the chillest dudes I know.
____


As for me, I've only really "dropped" a couple people over the years. It's happened with people who become sort of toxic, for lack of better word. "Misery loves company" type people. I've had a couple friends who would just start taking subtle jabs, or trying to compete with me too hard, in terms money, women, stupid stuff that doesn't matter.

Some people just start letting out steam on you, when they are in the dumps. Once they start trying to drag me down, I cut em loose. Anyone else encounter that?
Maybe if I were Ghandi, I'd deal with the crap and just be there for them, but I ain't that strong.
 

12Goblins

Lil’ Gobbie
Even though you‘re obviously a far leftist as from your posts in the now defunct politics forum, I still had respect for you because even while your awful opinions got shredded, you still kept showing face

Why would you jeopardize someone’s job and finances because they said some shit you don’t like? Have a word one on one with him, don’t be a little bitch and snitch on him to HR like some little child
he's not a far leftish bro, you are brainwashed 🥴
 

Shai-Tan

Banned
I have a friend who is bipolar and every six months or so he will have a manic episode that leads to him quitting his job or making some drastic change like move across the country, etc and you can only nod along because there’s no chance it will last. He finally lucked into a 50k a year government job that required a certification which he talked incessantly about, was also talking about asking his girlfriend to marry him, seemed to be getting along great, then one day, like clockwork he decided he’s ultra religious and is entering a seminary or something to become a priest (apparently not uncommon with bipolar). There’s probably more to the story but I had enough after that.
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Even though you‘re obviously a far leftist as from your posts in the now defunct politics forum, I still had respect for you because even while your awful opinions got shredded, you still kept showing face

Why would you jeopardize someone’s job and finances because they said some shit you don’t like? Have a word one on one with him, don’t be a little bitch and snitch on him to HR like some little child
This was not just a "disagreement". This isn't like he came up to me and gave me his glowing opinions on Trump and his hard support of gun rights and then I reported him to HR. This has nothing to do with fucking politics. This was a straight racist conspiracy theory with no basis in reality. That is not something you just casually chat about and debate about. There is no middle ground there. The guy parroted a racist ( and obviously insane) conspiracy theory to me. End of story. That is not something that I or any of my coworkers should have to deal with on a daily basis. And most normal people would agree with that statement. Its not even a hot take.


I am not going to feel bad or apologize for supporting a healthier and safer work environment for myself and others. If that bothers you then that is just tough. Sorry not sorry.
 
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NahaNago

Member
Lol, idk. People always imply people who are short are angry about it, which feels unfair. Seems like we are projecting that they should be angry about it, when we say that. My two shorter friends are some of the chillest dudes I know.
____


As for me, I've only really "dropped" a couple people over the years. It's happened with people who become sort of toxic, for lack of better word. "Misery loves company" type people. I've had a couple friends who would just start taking subtle jabs, or trying to compete with me too hard, in terms money, women, stupid stuff that doesn't matter.

Some people just start letting out steam on you, when they are in the dumps. Once they start trying to drag me down, I cut em loose. Anyone else encounter that?
Maybe if I were Ghandi, I'd deal with the crap and just be there for them, but I ain't that strong.
I'm the same height as the guy I was talking about. It seemed to me that that was the issue cause he liked to talk about he would fight people way bigger than him all the time. Of course, the only times I ever did see him get physical with somebody was if the guy was the same height as him:LOL:
 

nightfly

Member
When a friend who was my roommate just all of the sudden let his gf move in without discussing it with me and she never contriibuted to any of the expenses yet would take up all the food and was a bitch. Then when they both eventually left he stole and pawned off a lot of my handheld systems, some rare.
 

Happosai

Hold onto your panties
When he tried to make it look like I wasn't doing my job, in an effort to make an excuse as to why he hadn't done his job yet...except he did so in such a novice manner it was obvious to his boss, and my boss. Plus I actually document shit well. I always make a real effort to get along with co-workers since you have to spend so much time around them, but have learned the hard way to always cover your ass.
I've been a manager and supervising director with two electric companies the past 3-years and I was given my first promotion because the team I worked with liked my leadership. Those are great work friends. On the other hand, back in 2014 I worked as a computer installer with State Farm corporate. It was miserable pay but everyone "seemed" friendly. I noticed that three of the other installers would have certain conversations that would get hushed when I walked by. One guy in particular who stated "you can trust me" blamed me for a production delay after a server outage (it was Illinois in January and we were hit with snow and ice...). A day later all those friends were suddenly quiet around me. Later that same day I got a call from the project director stating that I would no longer be needed on the project due to "my part" in the production delays. It's ironic as no one else was fired, most businesses were shutdown that week due to the winter storm and all parts of S.F. corporate had experienced some type of server outage (5 down in corporate south alone.) I imagine had they actually been friends...they would have outright stated, no one was able to do anything those days with the server down. There are jobs where you'll have great co-workers and other like what we've been through in which you should trust no one.
 

Mistake

Member
Yeah I am not going to get into a deep conversation about this. I have a zero tolerance policy for racism when it comes to my immediate workspace. If you spout some racist nonsense to me while I am at work then I am going to go to HR. Full stop No excuses. Dumbasses I encounter out in the world is one thing, but in the building I walk into everyday (or used to because WFH) I have no patience for that.


If you wanna have a heart to heart and really just get down to discussing that kind of insanity with someone then more power to you. But I will not.
Well I suppose I just have a higher tolerance for these kinds of things, so we can just agree to disagree.

My answer to the op is when a “friend” testified against me court. I got off in the end, but told him to promptly fuck off
 
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Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Well I suppose I just have a higher tolerance for these kinds of things, so we can just agree to disagree.

My answer to the op is when a “friend” testified against me court. I got off in the end, but told him to promptly fuck off
If you have a higher tolerance for racism then I guess more power to you. I just don't.
 
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