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[Flo_Evans]

The wife and I have slightly different philosophies.

She is going hard trying to maintain the illusion for as long as possible, I am more excited to see them reason it out and figure out the truth.

 

[bosseye]

It's a bullshit argument - like the kid would have had the mental capacity at age 4 to think "This gift is shit, but that's ok because I know you worked hard for it and did your best and it's the thought that counts"

This thread is fucking depressing - full of scrooges and amateur child psychologists, most of which probably don't have kids or any experience of how kids think and behave. Through first hand experience, I know that the delight of seeing a sackful of presents delivered by Santa and seeing that his reindeer have eaten the carrot that he left them fills a kid with the kind of memories that you can't buy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with making Christmas a special time of year for young children and going the extra mile with the fantasy element - there's enough real shit in the world that kids get exposed to so a little escape from that can only be a good thing in my book.

I know - my daughter's face when she saw the left over end bit of the carrot that Rudolph had eaten, she was so happy. So happy at the thought that a reindeer had been in the house and eaten the carrot she had chosen (choosing took a while, had to be the perfect carrot) and carefully carried over to the door where he would see it (we don't have a fireplace). It was glorious

 

[gamechanger87]

I'm glad some of you are on board with me.

I've decided that I need to fill my daughter in on the realities of the adult world as early as possible, so Santa was out. We also give her an allowance each week for chores, and then after we hand her the money we immediately ask her for 35% back in taxes. We then deduct 5% for her college fund as a proxy for SS and Medicare. An additional 40% comes out for rent and utilities for her bedroom and 10% for food.

She's only 4 so she doesn't understand why we give her money and then take most of it back but I think she will thank us one day once she understand that we are preparing her for the reality of taxes and bills.

Don't want her to get a false sense of how the world works.

Spoiler

/s

 

[JetBlackPanda]

4 year old daughter here. The magic and joy of being a child is to much, I can't break it to her, Its fun. Life is hard and full of depressing things I am going to let her hold onto Santa as long as it takes for her to figure it out.

I would never question a parent that doesn't want to keep it up though, that's their choice.

 

[Brian Griffin]

So if you got to Disney or any big theme park based around a character.... or even a kids party with the cast of frozen. Do you just politely remind her none of it is real and it's just dress up?

She understood the concept of "pretend" really quick so it's possible she'd tell us it's all pretend or ask us if it is and we'd tell her. But no, we wouldn't tell her it's all fake up front unprompted.

I'm not particularly picking on you, but this is a theme throughout the thread. Its already been mentioned and I may have missed a clever and well thought out rebuttal, but what do you say when your child presents you with an awful scribble drawing that they're terribly proud of? Lying is wrong right, what's your response? My daughter is 4 and possibly not destined to be one of life's artists and has for years given me all kinds of crap scrawled across a piece of paper, "That's you Daddy, and there's Mummy" and it's literally just scribble with no form, nothing to dictate any sort of application of thought.

Now I'm quite happy with telling the odd white lie to my kids (as with the existence of Santa) so I tell her her scribble is wonderful and give her lots of praise, maybe display it on the noticeboard you know so she feels good about her drawing and is motivated to keep drawing and getting better....but the black and white LYING IS WRONG brigade, I can only assume you give them a full and frank critique on their artistic technical shortcomings?

When she shows me something she's colored I tell her I love it and that I think it's beautiful. All true. She doesn't draw people or scenes yet though so there's nothing "wrong" about her drawings to even lie about in the first place. I imagine when she starts showing interest in that we'll sit down and draw together and I'll show her how to draw things. I've shown her how to write a few letters and she loves it so teaching her how to draw people should go over great as well.

I'm glad some of you are on board with me.

I've decided that I need to fill my daughter in on the realities of the adult world as early as possible, so Santa was out. We also give her an allowance each week for chores, and then after we hand her the money we immediately ask her for 35% back in taxes. We then deduct 5% for her college fund as a proxy for SS and Medicare. An additional 40% comes out for rent and utilities for her bedroom and 10% for food.

She's only 4 so she doesn't understand why we give her money and then take most of it back but I think she will thank us one day once she understand that we are preparing her for the reality of taxes and bills.

Don't want her to get a false sense of how the world works.

My parents didn't go into that much detail, but they did make us put like 20% in savings. Good stuff.

 

[bosseye]

I'm glad some of you are on board with me.

I've decided that I need to fill my daughter in on the realities of the adult world as early as possible, so Santa was out. We also give her an allowance each week for chores, and then after we hand her the money we immediately ask her for 35% back in taxes. We then deduct 5% for her college fund as a proxy for SS and Medicare. An additional 40% comes out for rent and utilities for her bedroom and 10% for food.

She's only 4 so she doesn't understand why we give her money and then take most of it back but I think she will thank us one day once she understand that we are preparing her for the reality of taxes and bills.

Don't want her to get a false sense of how the world works.

What does she spend the remaining 10% on? Hopefully savings.

 

[family_guy]

Santa's not real? What about God?

 

[freethoughtbubble]

If it was up to me, no. I find the whole Santa Claus thing kind of dumb. To be fair, I didn't really grow up with it. Christmas was always just family togetherness/appreciation time, awesome presents, and stuffing our faces silly. It was great.

My gf and likely future spouse is big into it though. Her family is the exact opposite. Shrug. At least I'll be really proud when the kid figures it out on their own.

Edit: Er, they're the opposite re the Santa thing only. They're very together, great cooks and awesome gift givers. Lol.

 

[old]

Fuck no. I want credit for buying gifts for them. Like hell I'm giving credit to someone else who didn't contribute a cent.

 

[Berserking Guts]

Yeah, because that is automatically the only other possible option, right? You're really not being very convincing if you fabricate nonsense reasons. First of all not every culture even celebrates Christmas, all the children living in that culture must have terrible childhoods, according to your nonsense logic. I guess we have a case here where imagination and critical thinking was not fostered by believing in santa. What do you say to that Red liquorice? In fact people saying you should tell kids santa is real are mostly pretty narrow minded about it. It seems they can't imagine a joyful celebration without the illusion of santa.

I'm glad I have GAF here to tell me that not every culture celebrates Christmas, or that santa isn't the be all end all solution to a childs imagination growth, where the fuck would I be without Mr Reading over here with an all-encompassing argument for one gripe? I'm more concerned about the people who'd rather take credit for gifts then let their kids enjoy a harmless illusion, for who, given the context, do celebrate the festival. Instead of miss quoting me and automatically assuming I'm making a blanket statement on everyones belief system, try reading.

And just to be clear here, I've never told my two daughters that Santa is real.

 

[gamechanger87]

What does she spend the remaining 10% on? Hopefully savings.

The post was in jest but if someone actually did that I would hope that the remaining went to future therapy.

My parents had us put 20 percent in savings but we kept the rest and we do the same with her. Based on some of the posts here I wouldn't be surprised to see someone actually taxing their children.

 

[bosseye]

The post was in jest but if someone actually did that I would hope that the remaining went to future therapy.

My parents had us put 20 percent in savings but we kept the rest and we do the same with her. Based on some of the posts here I wouldn't be surprised to see someone actually taxing their children.

Yeah, I figured it was jest, I was just playing along.

 

[bosseye]

When she shows me something she's colored I tell her I love it and that I think it's beautiful. All true. She doesn't draw people or scenes yet though so there's nothing "wrong" about her drawings to even lie about in the first place. I imagine when she starts showing interest in that we'll sit down and draw together and I'll show her how to draw things. I've shown her how to write a few letters and she loves it so teaching her how to draw people should go over great as well.

This is lovely, genuinely. I'm not even going to try and argue my point anymore, it's daft really. Santa or no Santa, we love our kids and that's the main focus however you choose to show them.

 

[rhandino]

I had a friend who went to USA to visit her brother for New Year and while he and her wife were in the kitchen prepping breakfast her little niece started talking about how awesome was Santa because he gifted her some dolls and what not during the night and my friend started to ask her if she actually believed in that because Santa was not real... Needless to say the little girl cried all that day and her brother and his wife got really mad at her.

A few days later she commented me that apparently his brother had some problems because the girl decided to tell her friends that Santa was not real.

So yeah, let me avoid that mess and never let those fantasies grew in the heads of my children, or at least not to the point that it becomes a big deal.

 

[Google]

So yeah, let me avoid that mess and never let those fantasies grew in the heads of my children, or at least not to the point that it becomes a big deal.

Because your friend is an asshole and wants to fuck over a little girl on Christmas morning?

 

[EMT0]

If I had kids? Maybe in the most benign and irreverent fashion. That way when they find out for certain, their investment in the idea of Santa will be minimal. I have no idea what the point is of building up Santa to your kids every holiday for years, only to pull the rug out from under them other than you thinking it's funny. That borders more on some light sadism IMO.

 

[Google]

That borders more on some light sadism IMO.

This wins the thread, guys.

Shut it down.

 

[Lothar]

I had a friend who went to USA to visit her brother for New Year and while he and her wife were in the kitchen prepping breakfast her little niece started talking about how awesome was Santa because he gifted her some dolls and what not during the night and my friend started to ask her if she actually believed in that because Santa was not real... Needless to say the little girl cried all that day and her brother and his wife got really mad at her.

A few days later she commented me that apparently his brother had some problems because the girl decided to tell her friends that Santa was not real.

So yeah, let me avoid that mess and never let those fantasies grew in the heads of my children, or at least not to the point that it becomes a big deal.

Your friend is really cruel. Why would she do that to a little girl? Was she trying to punish her for something?

 

[Man Called Aerodynamics]

I had a friend who went to USA to visit her brother for New Year and while he and her wife were in the kitchen prepping breakfast her little niece started talking about how awesome was Santa because he gifted her some dolls and what not during the night and my friend started to ask her if she actually believed in that because Santa was not real... Needless to say the little girl cried all that day and her brother and his wife got really mad at her.

A few days later she commented me that apparently his brother had some problems because the girl decided to tell her friends that Santa was not real.

So yeah, let me avoid that mess and never let those fantasies grew in the heads of my children, or at least not to the point that it becomes a big deal.

Yup, in that story the problem is the fantasy of Santa in the first place. Not a cruel person who decided to ruin something for a little girl just because. Great job with that takeaway.

 

[freethoughtbubble]

People get really defensive when it comes to Santa, hahaha.

I cop to this being a bit of a weird hang up of mine, but I worry that planting a fantastical belief in my child's mind and using my adult intellect to lend it legitimacy during their formative years will fuck up their critical thinking skills in subtle ways for the rest of their lives.

I know, I know, "that's crazy/you're crazy/you're no fun/life is terrible, let them enjoy/it's good for them/blah blah." It just seems like a weird custom to me!

I don't see where the imagination comes into the equation either. They're not using their imaginations. They're just buying into the fantasy you're selling them. If anything, figuring out Santa isn't real when every adult has told you otherwise your entire life, that's the real exercise of imagination and curiosity.

I mean, what if my kid doesn't figure it out until like 15? Like, my God, what have I done?

The argument I really don't like is the deprivation thing. You don't need Santa Claus to have a "magical" childhood. The real world is a magical wondrous endlessly fascinating place with or without the jolly old fat man in it.

Yes, I know, my girlfriend wasn't convinced by my arguments either. I'm going to have to read a Santa FAQ before having kids or something =/

I'm not doing that stupid surveillance elf thing though! I draw the line there. It's creepy.

 

[Hippopuncher12]

Yeah I have a 2 year old son currently and another that will be here in January. We have already told him about Santa and "what he does" and he loves it. Actually since we put our tree up he had done nothing but talk about Santa and how he can't wait for him to come. It's innocent fun and it's nice to see your child's face light up about things like that. Just like when I was a child he will figure it out and that will be that.

 

[jackal27]

We'll do the Santa thing, but if they ask the question I'm not lying to them.

 

[creationtheory]

I don't see where the imagination comes into the equation either. They're not using their imaginations. They're just buying into the fantasy you're selling them. If anything, figuring out Santa isn't real when every adult has told you otherwise your entire life, that's the real exercise of imagination and curiosity.

The argument I really don't like is the deprivation thing. You don't need Santa Claus to have a "magical" childhood. The real world is a magical wondrous endlessly fascinating place with or without the jolly old fat man in it.

I agree with this 100%.

 

[Golden_Pigeon]

The argument I really don't like is the deprivation thing. You don't need Santa Claus to have a "magical" childhood. The real world is a magical wondrous endlessly fascinating place with or without the jolly old fat man in it.

Awesome !
The world is way more fantastic and magical than any fairy tales about Santa or otherwise.
Just get them into a nature trip.

 

[biggersmaller]

I have a 5 and 2 yo. I really love Christmas. We go to a lights parade, see a Christmas train, make a big deal out of decorating, go to church, AND sit on Santa's lap:

BUT the idea of a real Santa isn't drilled into them like when I was a kid. You really see more Darth Vader and Paw Patrole in Christmas marketing than Santa these days, because those are the characters that make money and retail wants emphasized. I really doubt either of them will believe by age 7 and if asked directly I will just say Santa delivering toys is a cool Christmas story.

 

[Marty Chinn]

Fuck no. I want credit for buying gifts for them. Like hell I'm giving credit to someone else who didn't contribute a cent.

Why do you so desperately need the credit?

 

[acheron_xl]

I wouldn't, but then my callous joylessness is one of myriad reasons why I'm not having kids.

 

[MisterR]

This seems to be a gaf specific thing with thinking that its bad to not tell kids that santa isnt real. Do any of you remember when you were kids before?

Most of them don't have kids and have no idea what they'll really do when they have kids.

 

[Meowster]

My parents always had us get one present (and our stockings filled) from Santa and the rest from them. I was really shocked when I found out that most families teach that Santa brings every single present.

I probably would still let the dream live on if I had kids.

 

[Noobcraft]

My wife and I haven't really introduced the concept of Santa Claus to my 2 (almost 3) year old. If he asks about it we'll tell him, but so far he hasn't asked. Our parenting strategy has been to answer any of his questions with an accurate, yet age appropriate answer if he has a question about anything.

 

[TheFuzz]

I don't believe in lying. Also I don't think it's good for kids to give credit to a fake person when their poor parents worked hard to buy them gifts.

You're not a parent, I'm assuming. My daughters' eyes lighting up and believing Santa is bringing her presents is all the thanks I need. Hearing them talk about him and the excitement around the season is worth it.

 

[bengraven]

I don't believe there was ever a child traumatized by finding out mom and dad lied about Santa.

 

[nded]

For many people it's sort of an early lesson in what a white lie is.

It's a bit of fun, and most kids wouldn't get that upset if it turned out the presents actually came from a person they know rather than an unseen stranger.

 

[Kazuhira]

Nah,let them enjoy the magic while they can.
They will figure it out on their own eventually.

 

[Dr. Black Jack]

They'll be more bitter at you for not letting thm believe when they could. Let them have fun for a few years, they'll figure it out on their own.

Seriously, what kid would want the asshole realist parent ruining every holiday for them?

"I'm not buying you any valentines for class because its just a corporate holiday. Love is an illusion, everything is just hormones and sex."

"The Easter Bunny is a fraud, here's a bag of candy, go away."

"The Tooth Fairy is a scam, I'm not buying your cast off body parts. Keep it though so if you're ever murdered we'll still have a DNA sample."

 

[Morts]

If it was solely up to me I wouldn't bother with the Santa stuff. I know my fiance and especially mother in law would be devastated if we didn't do it though and I see no harm in it.

 

[masud]

I used to think about what I would tell my daughter but it turned out I wasn't really involved. My 2.5 year old found out about Santa on her own from media and other children. She believes he's real the same way she believes every other cartoon character is real because she doesn't get the concept of someone being fake yet. I'm sure she will figure it out on her own just like i did.

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

No and I don't need a reason for it either. Don't have kids at the moment but have enough nieces and nephews to know it hasn't affected their childhood knowing Santa and all else ain't a real thing.

Did my parents do the Santa was real thing? Yes. Was it fun, yes. How did I find out? My brother and I decided to sneak downstairs one Christmas eve to see my dad putting gifts under the tree and eating the cookies me and my siblings left for "Santa." Funny part is I was only mad about the cookies cause they were my moms homemade sugar cookies and she only made them around Christmas, and this fraud, my dad was eating my share of the damn cookies. Is what it is.

 

[komplanen]

When I was a kid, the fantasy and magic of Santa far outweighed any possible negatives from it all coming undone.

I would absolutely tell my kid Santa is real.

 

[styl3s]

I'm glad my parents aren't like the majority of people in here in.

I would absolutely let my kid believe Santa is real put money under his/her pillow when he/she puts a tooth under it because it's a kid and kids deserve that fun care free upbringing and there's no harm in allowing them to believe something they will grow out of. Oh, you don't want Santa taking credit for the shit spent money on? Grow the fuck up.

Your kid has his/her entire life to find out this world fucking sucks and is full of miserable and cynical people don't make your kid one of those people from the start. And this doesn't start and stop at Santa and the way some of you people talk i wouldn't want to be your kid.

 

[Vanillalite]

Santa still real as fuck and I'm in my 30s GAF!

Come at me bros!

 

[Vivalaraza]

I don't feel strongly either way and ill decide it with whoever my other half is but I think the thing about it being a lie and it's better for them to never have believed it in the first place etc etc is a classic case of adults projecting their worldview on kids.

Kids get over that shit quickly and in many ways they are much more capable of dealing with these kinds of changes.

Adults...less so.

 

[EdibleKnife]

If they ask me directly about it, I'll say no. The opposite of a childhood belief in Santa isn't some kind of cynical, miserable existence and I have no idea why people are pushing that idea. I also have no interest in lording over my kid(s) that it was I and my back breaking labor that provided their presents or that other BS. In fact, a certainty that it's one person that gives to another out of love instead of obligation, rather than a magical being, is likely to foster and encourage that spirit of giving.

 

[The Faceless Master]

the real truth is kids above the age of like four know Santa isn't real. they're playing the long game with you.

they know you're the one swapping cash for teeth too.

 

[Goldenroad]

"Real" is subjective for kids. I mean, to a kid, Pokemon are real, TMNT are real, Teletubbies are real. Eventually they grow up and realize these things aren't real, and there is generally very little harm done. It's not like this thing where you are going to a building once a week to worship at the alter of Santa. It's just a way to teach them to write a letter at a young age and to get them to behave a bit around the holidays. No harm no foul, but I don't have kids and don't plan on it either.

 

[Preezy]

I've got an 18 month old daughter so it's not an issue at the moment, but as soon as she's old enough to really understand the concept of Father Christmas HELL YEAH I'm going to make him out to be real. I'm going to go all out and prolong the deception for as long as I can, then one my deathbed I can reveal to her that it was me all along, and pull a fake white beard out of my pocket.

 

[blame space]

https://youtu.be/OAgdo6-GJcs