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[Opiate]

Just to make sure it's clear, I haven't suddenly hopped over to the other side of the fence and begun condemning promiscuity.

I was simply providing examples of evidence a person might provide if they were against promiscuity and coming at this with a calm, cool perspective. The fact that so much of the discussion has instead focused on vague, hand wavey concepts of "moral fiber" and "emotional character" suggest these arguments are motivated more by impulse and emotion than by any serious consideration of whether promiscuity is bad or not.

For the record, watching TV also has some negative correlations with educational attainment and poverty. If you're going to use the evidence I just provided to "prove" why you'd never be with a promiscuous woman, then you'd also need to avoid women who watch TV by the exact same reasoning. And yet somehow, people don't seem to have the same instinctive, powerful objection to heavy TV watchers as they do to people with a high number of sexual partners.

 

[TacticalFox88]

Jesus Christ at this thread. How can some people not accept the fact that people are human and like to have sex. So long as it's consensual and no ones getting hurt, you, nor should anyone else really give a fuck.

 

[Trey]

The amazing thing is that there are actual real, legitimate arguments against promiscuity if anyone on that side of the fence was willing to do their homework.

There is a strong link between high promiscuity and depression in teens. High promiscuity correlates to poverty, lower educational attainment, and of course STD exposure.


So there are rational arguments against promiscuity which are actually supported by evidence if anyone bothered to look. I suspect, however, that most people in this thread arguing against promiscuity are not really motivated by these sorts of objective concerns -- they are motivated by emotional impulse and insecurity.

Seems inherent to the makeup of society, which still has a childish and oppressive grasp on sexuality. Promiscuous people statistically perform worse in society because society is antagonistic toward that sort of lifestyle.

 

[Vermillion]

Just to make sure it's clear, I haven't suddenly hopped over to the other side of the fence and begun condemning promiscuity.

I was simply providing examples of evidence a person might provide if they were against promiscuity and coming at this with a calm, cool perspective. The fact that so much of the discussion has instead focused on vague, hand wavey concepts of "moral fiber" and "emotional character" suggest these arguments are motivated more by impulse and emotion than by any serious consideration of whether promiscuity is bad or not.

For the record, watching TV also has some negative correlations with educational attainment and poverty. If you're going to use the evidence I just provided to "prove" why you'd never be with a promiscuous woman, then you'd also need to avoid women who watch TV by the exact same reasoning. And yet somehow, people don't seem to have the same instinctive, powerful objection to heavy TV watchers as they do to people with a high number of sexual partners.

It'd be wiser to just stick to the depression statistic, I think.

 

[RayStorm]

Do I need a reason? If I do, it's potentially dangerous behavior.

Personally I always try to understand the reason for whatever thought/emotion I might hold. I do believe that everyone has a reason for whatever stance they take, and I want to understand the reasons.

But if it's just the potential danger, wouldn't you then also have to think of certain sports as disgusting too?

 

[Opiate]

I think several of those have been mentioned by a few posters. It didn't go over very well for them. Probably because they're fairly poor arguments. A lot of things are correlated to poverty or lower educational attainment, I would be loathe to list those as ways I'm making partner selections.

Absolutely, it is an argument which can be rebutted (as Steve Youngblood also pointed out, and as I just did as well in my post above this one). But it's a far more objective, serious critique than some vague suggestion of moral character being compromised. That so few are making these arguments suggests that people are approaching the topic instinctively rather than objectively.

I'm on the conservative side of things here, but none of these seem to be casual-related. If you want to make that argument, though, I'm all ears.

Do you mean causal? Then I'd agree, there is no direct causal link indicating promiscuity causes poverty. There certainly is a direct logical link indicating promiscuity increases STD rates, though.

 

[Devolution]

The amazing thing is that there are actual real, legitimate arguments against promiscuity if anyone on that side of the fence was willing to do their homework.

There is a strong link between high promiscuity and depression in teens. High promiscuity correlates to poverty, lower educational attainment, and of course STD exposure.


So there are rational arguments against promiscuity which are actually supported by evidence if anyone bothered to look. I suspect, however, that most people in this thread arguing against promiscuity are not really motivated by these sorts of objective concerns -- they are motivated by emotional impulse and insecurity.

Depression among teens because the girls get called sluts when they're outed.

Also poverty leads to those things not the other way around.

 

[RDreamer]

Absolutely, it is an argument which can be rebutted (as Steve Youngblood also pointed out, and as I just did as well in my post above this one). But it's a far more objective, serious critique than some vague suggestion of moral character being compromised. That so few are making these arguments suggests that people are approaching the topic instinctively rather than objectively.

Yeah, I get what you're saying, and you're pretty right. We also have people literally saying a few less on the number and they'd be fine with a long term relationship with someone. Basically people are literally saying they have some cut off line where something goes from ok to not-relationship-material and/or gross. That's definitely not an objective approach, too. It's very instinctive and emotional.

 

[Vermillion]

Depression among teens because the girls get called sluts when they're outed.

Also poverty leads to those things not the other way around.

Link?

 

[Buddha Beam]

I went out on a date with a girl a few years ago who later revealed to me over text message that she had slept with over 35 guys in the last 2 years and had been in lots of threesomes, been filmed, etc... but she "wanted to start over with me because I seemed like such a great guy". She also clearly had emotional problems. I felt like a jerk, but I told her I wasn't interested in seeing her again.

I'm far from a prude about this stuff, too. My wife and I have gone to swingers clubs and whatnot... but that was a bit beyond the line for me.

That said, being 30 now, I don't think I'd care if my wife told me she was with 20 dudes over the course of about 4 years. Especially after all this time.

 

[Karsticles]

Do you mean causal? Then I'd agree, there is no direct causal link indicating promiscuity causes poverty. There certainly is a direct logical link indicating promiscuity increases STD rates, though.

I do mean causal. It's my #1 typo - sigh. And fair enough, but what say you about promiscuity and depression? I mean the former causing the latter.

Spoiler

I never spell cause casue, but I spell causal casual...

 

[Juicy Bob]

It's really hard for me to project how I'd feel as I can't imagine myself being married (just being in a relationship again would be nice!), but honestly I would probably be a bit intimidated by that and insecure about how well I satisfy her sexually. However, that's my problem, not hers and I'd try to deal with any insecurities on my own and not let that impact on our relationship.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I went out on a date with a girl a few years ago who later revealed to me over text message that she had slept with over 35 guys in the last 2 years and had been in lots of threesomes, been filmed, etc... but she "wanted to start over with me because I seemed like such a great guy".

This is never allowed.

If I am told of sexy adventures, I will indulge in them, too.

"Starting over" is bullshit.

 

[Opiate]

Depression among teens because the girls get called sluts when they're outed.

Also poverty leads to those things not the other way around.

I wasn't really looking to defend these studies, Dev. These studies weren't my point. My point was that this is a far better ground for argument than the emotional or moral pleas many seem to be making against promiscuity in this thread.

By comparison, these latter moral/emotional arguments strike me as knee jerk responses which are often motivated by insecurity. My question really was: why aren't people making these arguments? Why does someone who thinks promiscuity is okay have to be providing this evidence for them? The likely answer, in my opinion, is that these people aren't motivated by logical concerns.

 

[Vermillion]

I went out on a date with a girl a few years ago who later revealed to me over text message that she had slept with over 35 guys in the last 2 years and had been in lots of threesomes, been filmed, etc... but she "wanted to start over with me because I seemed like such a great guy". She also clearly had emotional problems. I felt like a jerk, but I told her I wasn't interested in seeing her again.

I'm far from a prude about this stuff, too. My wife and I have gone to swingers clubs and whatnot... but that was a bit beyond the line for me.

That said, being 30 now, I don't think I'd care if my wife told me she was with 20 dudes over the course of about 4 years. Especially after all this time.

I'd say the only important question is "does she have sole possession of the tapes/have they been destroyed?"

fake edit: Oh, emotional problems. Yeaaaaaaahhhhh, nvm.

 

[Liquidsnake]

Link?

Lol.

 

[RDreamer]

Link?

Shit happens.

 

[THRILLH0]

Jesus Christ at this thread. How can some people not accept the fact that people are human and like to have sex. So long as it's consensual and no ones getting hurt, you, nor should anyone else really give a fuck.

You find out your spouse previously had a long term incestuous relationship with her brother. You cool with that?

Why not?

Sorry to have to take it to extremes but it's pretty much the only way to penetrate the people who put no more thought into their argument beyond "Who gives a fuck, WHO GIVES A FUCK, WHO GIVES A FUCK!! "

 

[Devolution]

Link?

Why do I need to link anything when it's common sense that we live in a sex negative culture complete with shaming people for being promiscuous. Of course teens will be addled with depression in such an atmosphere and where insecurities brew like nowhere else. Calling another girl a slut in a spat of jealousy isn't exactly ground breaking information that needs all kinds of statistics to back it. Plus some have been bullied to the point of suicide.

I wasn't really looking to defend these studies, Dev. These studies weren't my point. My point was that this is a far better ground for argument than the emotional or moral pleas many seem to be making against promiscuity in this thread.

By comparison, these latter moral/emotional arguments strike me as knee jerk responses which are often motivated by insecurity.

I don't really think some of the studies are (nor can be) extricated from our culture's views on promiscuity.

 

[TAJ]

I'd high five her, not a problem really.

One girl told me that she'd gotten DP'd in a motel room by two random dudes. She ordered another box of condoms from the front desk and answered the door in a towel.
My reaction: "Hot."

 

[Vermillion]

Shit happens often.

Oh, no - that wasn't my point. Obviously it happens. I'm asking where that explanation came from. Where it's put into context of that (or similar studies). Or more specifically, where does it say that the majority (or entirety) of depression linked with promiscuity comes from a) women and/or b) being slut-shamed?

 

[KlotePino]

Don't have anything meaningful to contribute a part from personal experience but I've always had the biggest crush on a promiscuous girl. Recently reconnected and she currently has a 24 y/o boyfriend, she's 18. That's definitely not the most extreme example and pretty common and accepted but what do you guys think about these age differences entering the equasion? I've only recently come to accept that she and I won't be a thing but something about these age differences and promiscious girls has always puzzled me.

It seems like girls looking for older men is a trend that has existed since the dawn of time. This is probably an age old theory and already deflected here in this thread but isn't that standard idea of daddy issues kind of applicable here? Not just out of defiance to family, like the stereotype is for strippers but instead finding a substitute for the father?

I'll admit it bothers me that mid twenties males "play into" this but I suppose both parties know what they're getting into and that it probably won't last so I guess this might just be a hint of jealousy. It's very easy for jealousy and personal experiences to colour trying to think about this objectively.

 

[Devolution]

Oh, no - that wasn't my point. Obviously it happens. I'm asking where that explanation came from. Where it's put into context of that (or similar studies). Or more specifically, where does it say that the majority (or entirety) of depression linked with promiscuity comes from a) women and/or b) being slut-shamed?

Who said it was the majority? If you're surmising teen sex leads to depression how are you controlling for the environment in which it happens? It's not a direct link no matter how you slice it.

 

[RDreamer]

Oh, no - that wasn't my point. Obviously it happens. I'm asking where that explanation came from. Where it's put into context of that (or similar studies). Or more specifically, where does it say that the majority (or entirety) of depression linked with promiscuity comes from a) women and/or b) being slut-shamed?

I haven't been able to find a study like that, and I wonder just how hard something like that would even be to get concrete numbers on. It' probably not the majority, but it's still something to keep in mind.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Don't have anything meaningful to contribute a part from personal experience but I've always had the biggest crush on a promiscuous girl. Recently reconnected and she currently has a 24 y/o boyfriend, she's 18. That's definitely not the most extreme example and pretty common and accepted but what do you guys think about these age differences entering the equasion? I've only recently come to accept that she and I won't be a thing but something about these age differences and promiscious girls has always puzzled me.

It seems like girls looking for older men is a trend that has existed since the dawn of time. This is probably an age old theory and already deflected here in this thread but isn't that standard idea of daddy issues kind of applicable here? Not just out of defiance to family, like the stereotype is for strippers but instead finding a substitute for the father?

I'll admit it bothers me that mid twenties males "play into" this but I suppose both parties know what they're getting into and that it probably won't last so I guess this might just be a hint of jealousy. It's very easy for jealousy and personal experiences to colour trying to think about this objectively.

Sour Gapes.

 

[i-Lo]

Sour Gapes.

I have had a similar experience. Of course, stating all girls want older men would be a truly ignorant statement.

 

[Jburton]

Depression among teens because the girls get called sluts when they're outed.

Also poverty leads to those things not the other way around.

It says young people, not just young girls.


I don't think your explanation is accurate at all and is gender slanted.

 

[Vermillion]

Who said it was the majority? If you're surmising teen sex leads to depression how are you controlling for the environment in which it happens? It's not a direct link no matter how you slice it.

That'd be flipping it around, yes? The study says that there is a link between depression and high promiscuity. I was of the belief that high promiscuity was the symptom.

I haven't been able to find a study like that, and I wonder just how hard something like that would even be to get concrete numbers on. It' probably not the majority, but it's still something to keep in mind.

Indeed.

 

[Devolution]

It says young people, not just young girls.


I don't think your explanation is accurate at all and is gender slanted.

Well considering some of the replies in this thread it's still not surprising. We live in a sex negative culture, people being made to feel about it, surprising! Not really.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I have had a similar experience. Of course, stating all girls who want older men have daddy issues is an ignorant statement.

fixed, but my point is more to laugh at a dude who wants a girl, gets denied and then tries to find something wrong with her.

 

[RDreamer]

Well considering some of the replies in this thread it's still not surprising. We live in a sex negative culture, people being made to feel about it, surprising! Not really.

Add to that the internet which makes it even easier to slut-shame and not relent, and you have an easy equation for depression. Even before you could at least somewhat escape it, but with the prominence of online connections, if you're being cyber bullied about it, too, you're going to slip even further into depression.

 

[hypostasis]

If you're going to be a shitty person expect to have people be shitty back to you.

The guy indicated that he literally feels disgust at the smell of fermented alcohol. He may well have overactive "disgust lobes" (brain areas associated with, and presumably causally responsible for, feelings of disgust) which are in large part generating his attitudes towards promiscuity and related behaviors.

Despite this, he's indicated that he is tolerant of the people who engage in such acts, is able to act normal around them, and doesn't want to regulate their behavior in the slightest (as far as I'm able to discern). What about all this makes him a "shit" person? It seems that despite all the "progressive" minds involved in this discussion, tolerance of divergent opinion -- ostensibly one of progressivism's core virtues -- is in short supply.

 

[Devolution]

Add to that the internet which makes it even easier to slut-shame and not relent, and you have an easy equation for depression. Even before you could at least somewhat escape it, but with the prominence of online connections, if you're being cyber bullied about it, too, you're going to slip even further into depression.

Even without targeted bullying there's all kinds of reinforcement by the media, religious zealots, parental expectations, etc. The studies aren't done in neutral or sexually enlightened societies so it should surprise no one how people are made to feel about their sexual history.

 

[Narolf]

One person will either get really distrustful and/or won't take the relationship serious anymore and/or the other person will cheat again and again.

Being fine with it will not work out most of the time. Relationships are normally based on trust. If this trust is broken, the relationship is broken as well.



That's what they said. Men probably say a higher number. Women probably say a lower number.

Probably depends. The problem I would have is more with the broken trust rather than the sex. If we could get to a ground afterwards where we are on the same page about our exclusivity/lack of or why she wanted to sleep with someone else, then I could be fine with it.

Hmm well, I would be inclined to believe Cecil has the right at it once again.

Sexual repression all up in this thread.

For real...who cares what a person does with their body? As long as they're not breaking a commitment, why SHOULD you care?

At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether you want to draw the line between sex and love, as Sorian pointed it out earlier in the thread. In retrospect, I should have worded my problematic this way: would you mind your lover having sex-friends while you remain dedicated to them (your lover of course, not their sex-friends, lol)?

I for one wouldn't mind it and remain exclusive. Sex is just meant to give birth to me. That's all.

 

[MIMIC]

Well considering some of the replies in this thread it's still not surprising. We live in a sex negative culture, people being made to feel about it, surprising! Not really.

Like it was said before, the article said "teens", not just girls. And our sex culture is only negative for girls, whereas with boys, it's the exact opposite, and yet both genders are at equal risk of depression (when it comes to excessive promiscuity).

I don't think JokerOfSpades was out of line when he asked for a link (like Liquidsnake was suggesting with the "lol" comment).

 

[THRILLH0]

Even without targeted bullying there's all kinds of reinforcement by the media, religious zealots, parental expectations, etc. The studies aren't done in neutral or sexually enlightened societies so it should surprise no one how people are made to feel about their sexual history.

Do you allow that someone can hold a more conservative attitude towards sex than your own without labelling them a "shamer"?

 

[Steve Youngblood]

Do you allow that someone can hold a more conservative attitude towards sex than your own without labelling them a "shamer"?

I'm not Devo, but to an extent, I do. I don't necessarily agree with the analysis, but I can see someone having a predilection for partners with less experience. However, just as a general observation about someone's activity wherein it has literally no impact on your own life, I do kind of take issue with a general castigation of promiscuous sexual activity. I just don't understand how it can be interpreted as a wrongful act, particularly in the context of sleeping with 20 people in one's college years.

 

[SmokyDave]

Sour Gapes.

Bravo, that's a hole-in-one.

 

[Lafiel]

Even without targeted bullying there's all kinds of reinforcement by the media, religious zealots, parental expectations, etc. The studies aren't done in neutral or sexually enlightened societies so it should surprise no one how people are made to feel about their sexual history.

If we are being neutral about it - overindugence in anything is a bad thing. Whether it's alcohol, sex, video games, television etc. I'd imagine some people here are judging promiscuity under that same umbrella, but of course that's not to say people can't be promiscuous without being overindugent, but I guess judging from most peoples personal experiences on the subject, that's not the case. (even if cultural biases might be influencing that perception).

 

[Devolution]

Do you allow that someone can hold a more conservative attitude towards sex than your own without labelling them a "shamer"?

I have quite a conservative attitude towards sex but it's my own personal choices about my sex life. In other words, stop projecting shit onto other people. Be confident in your choices but don't presume that others with more sex are less able to hold monogamous relationships, will cheat, are fickle etc etc.

If we are being neutral about it - overindugence in anything is a bad thing. Whether it's alcohol, sex, video games, television etc. I'd imagine some people here are judging promiscuity under that same umbrella, but of course that's not to say people can't be promiscuous without being overindugent, but I guess judging from most peoples personal experiences on the subject, that's not the case. (even if cultural biases might be influencing that perception).

You'd have to come to a consensus about what overindulgence actually is.

 

[Byakuya769]

I wasn't really looking to defend these studies, Dev. These studies weren't my point. My point was that this is a far better ground for argument than the emotional or moral pleas many seem to be making against promiscuity in this thread.

By comparison, these latter moral/emotional arguments strike me as knee jerk responses which are often motivated by insecurity. My question really was: why aren't people making these arguments? Why does someone who thinks promiscuity is okay have to be providing this evidence for them? The likely answer, in my opinion, is that these people aren't motivated by logical concerns.

Why aren't people attracted to short people, tall people, dark people, light people, skinny people, fat people, big breasts, little breasts, big dicks, little dicks, full asses, petite asses ... so on and so on. Pointing out that attraction is often emotional instead of logical isn't really a groundbreaking observation.

 

[Lafiel]

You'd have to come to a consensus about what overindulgence actually is.

Overindulgence could be partaking in something like sex or alcohol to excessive amounts to the point where it negatively affects your relationships with others around you, your own personal well-being, your professional life, as well as distracting you from the more important things in life that deserve priority.

 

[Devolution]

Overindulgence could be partaking in something like sex or alcohol to excessive amounts to the point where it negatively affects your relationships with others around you, your own personal well-being, your professional life, as well as distracting you from the more important things in life that deserve priority.

Obviously but I'm talking about quantifying it. It'd be different for all kinds of individuals and there's no reason to assume this would be limited to single people seeking casual sex.

 

[THRILLH0]

I have quite a conservative attitude towards sex but it's my own personal choices about my sex life. In other words, stop projecting shit onto other people. Be confident in your choices but don't presume that others with more sex are less able to hold monogamous relationships, will cheat, are fickle etc etc.

Ok you're being hyper-sensitive about this and you should stop.

I have passed precisely zero judgement on your choices and I never conflated a history of promiscuity with cheating.

What I said was that a history of cheating reflects on some level a person's attitude towards commitment. It doesn't necessarily indicate a proclivity to cheat in the future so stop being so defensive.

Please make the choice to read and comprehend my posts before replying instead of continuing calling everyone who disagrees with you a dumbass.

 

[Liquidsnake]

It seems the majority here agree with each other Devo. Good sample size of society. No?

 

[Vermillion]

It seems the majority here agree with each other Devo. Good sample size of society. No?

GAF is a terrible measure of society at large. We don't have enough politically opposing people, religious people, or women to represent the population appropriately.

 

[Liquidsnake]

GAF is a terrible measure of society at large. We don't have enough politically opposing people, religious people, or women to represent the population appropriately.

Well its a good sample size of the male thought pattern.

 

[Devolution]

Ok you're being hyper-sensitive about this and you should stop.

I have passed precisely zero judgement on your choices and I never conflated a history of promiscuity with cheating.

What I said was that a history of cheating reflects on some level a person's attitude towards commitment. It doesn't necessarily indicate a proclivity to cheat in the future so stop being so defensive.

Please make the choice to read and comprehend my posts before replying instead of continuing calling everyone who disagrees with you a dumbass.

You're not the only one posting in this thread. I've had a whopping two sexual partners in my life time so you assumed I was liberal about sex since I don't feel inclined to be a judgmental asshole about the sexual history of others. I don't have a problem with conservative attitudes towards sex if it's limited to their own choices. I've already made it clear that I have a problem with conservative attitudes that shame and assume the worst of others. It's obviously bred out of some insecurity because it's frankly not true on an individual level and anyone with some real experience in the world would come to that conclusion pretty quickly.

It seems the majority here agree with each other Devo. Good sample size of society. No?

Which people? Good sample size of society? Considering the demographic not fucking likely.

 

[Woorloog]

Well its a good sample size of the male thought pattern.

No its not. Because the lack of above-mentioned lack of "politically opposing people, religious people, or women". There is no such thing as "universal male thought pattern", is there? I'd say that's dependent on culture and other things as well, not just to being male or not.

 

[Liquidsnake]

Which people? Good sample size of society? Considering the demographic not fucking likely.

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.
Albert Einstein