Alligatorjandro
Banned
dudebros will be shot on sight
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You're Lord Emperor of the World....
- Thread starter ToxicAdam
- Start date
- Status
People who use the word dudebro would be kidnapped, tortured, made immortal and tortured again.
James Cameron would lose a million dollars for each asshole statements or any asshole actions he makes.
Far bigger diversion in penis sizes with disregard of geographic location, race, etc. But you can get much smaller too as well as far bigger.
Each month we will ostracize a mod from GAF by voting. That means ban a mod from gaf for about 5 years.
9.99.... =/1
All Kittens in the world become gremlins.
Tuesday is decided to be world's most holy holiday. Everyone must pay their respects to me in that day.
Earth is the center of the universe and does not rotate. It is also 10000 years old.
Gravity happens only because I order it to happen.
All Chuck Norris facts are declared to be true but any sign that they referred to someone called Chuck Norris is eliminated, instead they all refer to my dog's penis.
Evolution by process of natural selection is to be accepted by all. However Aliens are those who are the species we come from and the original Aliens now live in the earth's crater which is hollow, by law this is to become reality and accepted.
About one third of all words of all languages are replaced by words that refer to penis, dick, asshole, vagina, boobs and so on. People will use those words to communicate.
James Cameron would lose a million dollars for each asshole statements or any asshole actions he makes.
Far bigger diversion in penis sizes with disregard of geographic location, race, etc. But you can get much smaller too as well as far bigger.
Each month we will ostracize a mod from GAF by voting. That means ban a mod from gaf for about 5 years.
9.99.... =/1
All Kittens in the world become gremlins.
Tuesday is decided to be world's most holy holiday. Everyone must pay their respects to me in that day.
Earth is the center of the universe and does not rotate. It is also 10000 years old.
Gravity happens only because I order it to happen.
All Chuck Norris facts are declared to be true but any sign that they referred to someone called Chuck Norris is eliminated, instead they all refer to my dog's penis.
Evolution by process of natural selection is to be accepted by all. However Aliens are those who are the species we come from and the original Aliens now live in the earth's crater which is hollow, by law this is to become reality and accepted.
About one third of all words of all languages are replaced by words that refer to penis, dick, asshole, vagina, boobs and so on. People will use those words to communicate.
-Make people talk and write backwards. Everyone would have to talk fast while the talk backwards.
-Everyone must run. No walking allowed. No driving allowed. No planes allowed. No bikes allowed. Nothing, but your two feet. You must also jump every 10 steps of running.
-Everyone must be sitting up when sleeping. Your head be strait up, and no pillow allowed. Legs also must be in a pretzel position as well.
-Everyone has to cook their own meals twice. The first cooked meal will be thrown away. You can also only use one hand and one eye while cooking. It's the right hand and eye that you can not use.
-Everyone must run. No walking allowed. No driving allowed. No planes allowed. No bikes allowed. Nothing, but your two feet. You must also jump every 10 steps of running.
-Everyone must be sitting up when sleeping. Your head be strait up, and no pillow allowed. Legs also must be in a pretzel position as well.
-Everyone has to cook their own meals twice. The first cooked meal will be thrown away. You can also only use one hand and one eye while cooking. It's the right hand and eye that you can not use.
Why?
It's cause they are scared, who "they" are I have no idea. But I can smell the fear.
DrForester
Kills Photobucket
James Cameron must make Battle Angel his next film!
shira
Member
We got no pennies in Canada. You just messing with our mindz
buy teh haloz
Banned
Sounds nightmarish
disappeared
Banned
Every leap day, on February 29th, everybody across the world joins hands and celebrates Ja Rule's birthday.
SpectreFire
Member
The Safety Dance will be the planetary anthem...
...because we can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friend don't dance, and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine... and will be summarily executed.
...because we can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friend don't dance, and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine... and will be summarily executed.
Schweinehund
Member
Kilts are to be worn in summer where temperature is above 80 degrees.
Cloaks are to be worn in all seasons but summer.
Cloaks are to be worn in all seasons but summer.
And you must carry you sword, preferably one that has a Wolfs head at the hilt.
TemplaerDude
Member
Uhhhh sounds like you guys don't know how to wear a scarf.
Wolf Dawgz
Member
If you want to have sex with somebody you must ask them within the first 30 seconds of meeting them for the first time and you cannot have sex with the same person twice. The new international sport is a customised version of Blitzball from FFX. Eliminate consoles and have PC gaming, and handheld gaming only. Fights are dealt with through a children's card game, and if you lose you get the shit kicked out of you physically. The only way to stop my madness is to defeat 8 bosses scattered across the globe and seal my spirit into a magical sword for 300 years max.
DrForester
Kills Photobucket
You have my sword!
ShipTheCheese
Member
Every call-centre in the world will be rigged with C4, of which I will hold all the triggers. If they dare to harass their emperor with the latest product or inquiry, their ass will be up in smoke.
Peach Ice Tea will be the national drink of the world.
Everyone has the legal right to kill a maximum of two people if they consider them to be "really annoying". A detailed legal description of the term "really annoying" will be added into my own form of criminal law.
All talent shows and reality TV shows are officially banned from TV. Failure to comply will result in extreme torture and death of everyone involved.
On a "hot day" (classified as above 30 degrees Celsius/86 degrees Fahrenheit), all women must wear bikini's and thongs while all men must wear swim shorts and nothing else, no matter the circumstance. Laughter, awkward scenario's, staring, and uncontrollable sexual tension would ensue.
That will be all for today.
Peach Ice Tea will be the national drink of the world.
Everyone has the legal right to kill a maximum of two people if they consider them to be "really annoying". A detailed legal description of the term "really annoying" will be added into my own form of criminal law.
All talent shows and reality TV shows are officially banned from TV. Failure to comply will result in extreme torture and death of everyone involved.
On a "hot day" (classified as above 30 degrees Celsius/86 degrees Fahrenheit), all women must wear bikini's and thongs while all men must wear swim shorts and nothing else, no matter the circumstance. Laughter, awkward scenario's, staring, and uncontrollable sexual tension would ensue.
That will be all for today.
Master Milk
Member
A lot of these would-be frivolous laws are so annoying that people would find them a big deal and definitely not follow them.
K
kittens
Unconfirmed Member
Why?
All men?
What about ladies with penises?
Dude's with vaginas?
Are we basing this on your perception of their gender, or their self-identified gender?
Lord Emperor Kittens' First Decree: People can wear whatever the fuck they want.
Those who are caught wearing douche-bag popped collars will be punishable by law to henceforth wear outfits that contain at minimum three popped collars at the same time for six months.
Those who work in the category "finances" by law will be required to put in double the amount of paid work hours into social work or civil services.
Mandatory that everyone, one day of the week, talk in a heavy accent of their stereotype.
Those who work in the category "finances" by law will be required to put in double the amount of paid work hours into social work or civil services.
Mandatory that everyone, one day of the week, talk in a heavy accent of their stereotype.
You have to offer and possibly give up your seat on public property whenever a pregnant,disabled,or elderly are in your presence.
That doesn't seem to be a rule in New York.
Also women and men must make their intentions known after the second date. No point if we aren't boning.
Also HAMBONING....
That doesn't seem to be a rule in New York.
Also women and men must make their intentions known after the second date. No point if we aren't boning.
Also HAMBONING....
Buttermilk
Member
But there are usually things they "could care less about".
The Incarnation
Member
15 years in jail for people who text while walking, and also eat outdoors.
Ban Cat ownership.
All children must be breast fed until they're 16.
Ban Cat ownership.
All children must be breast fed until they're 16.
shadyspace
Banned
Fucking Don Draper wore a scarf tonight. Anti-scarf contingent shot dead.
Mister Negative
Member
This would be excellent, not because I hate toppings, but because I hate having to check some place's menu to see if there's anything I want them to take out.
I mandate that all men and women must have a basic idea of how to dress well. This means no more ripped, light wash, boot cut jeans, fellas.
Synth_floyd
Banned
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list. I've got a little list...
thetechkid
Member
viciouskillersquirrel
Member
Excellent.
Car models can only be given truthful names. I drove a Chevy Suburban a few days ago and I invite you to show me which suburb, exactly, this thing was designed for. The giants who live there must a strange and frightening people.
No more names like Explorer, XK-R or Hummer. These shall be replaced with "4-Wheel Drive Enclosed Truck for Off-Road Purposes", "Impractically Powerful Sports Car for Middle-Aged Men" and "Oversized Car for Men with Small Penises".
Dubbedinenglish
Banned
All cars must be sports cars. For off-road all vehicles must be Group-B rally cars.
All bikes are crotch-rockets and must be rode while wearing capes.
It is party time, all the time.
All bikes are crotch-rockets and must be rode while wearing capes.
It is party time, all the time.
Orbis Tabula
Member
Pretty fitting, since he is losing control of his life and losing his wife.
Bold symbolism.
Everyone's name is Dave, men and women. No last names allowed.
Every time you swear you need to make up a new word.
Snobs of any kind are to be drowned in a boiling vat of their own feces.
Thursday must be pronounced Thor's-day and everyone pays tribute by dressing up as a viking.
Every time you swear you need to make up a new word.
Snobs of any kind are to be drowned in a boiling vat of their own feces.
Thursday must be pronounced Thor's-day and everyone pays tribute by dressing up as a viking.
Mister Negative
Member
I'd like to further mandate that we drop the second "C" in Connecticut.
I didn't know that was there for a long, long time.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
wed nintendo entertainment system day
it's made me think of the NES since I was 4-years-old, so I approve of the current spelling
that extra c is awesome!
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