â Narayan
Member
Don't be insecure. She's with you right now. That should say something.
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First Girlfriend-age.
- Thread starter Erudite
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you can tell that hes a babby. its like he based his entire emotional response on break-up scenes from hollywood. OH GOD MY GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH ANOTHER GUY BEFORE WE GOT TOGETHER TIME TO START DRINKING (because thats what every depressed guy does) AND GET REALLY ANGRY..AND LOOK ITS YOUR FAULT YOU DID THIS TO ME.Zenith said:
_Alkaline_
Member
To some degree it's normal to be at least aware, maybe even slightly jealous, that someone has been there before you. It's just something that we acknowledge and never think about again.
To stress about it to the point of a breakdown though is definitely an over-reaction. Chill out mate. Chill out big time.
To stress about it to the point of a breakdown though is definitely an over-reaction. Chill out mate. Chill out big time.
victreeb3l
Member
youre 18, youre being childish and insecure. its normal. you probably think she compares you to him every time you guys have sex or something equally as stupid. dont assume anything about her unless she says so. its not your job to play detective or whatever scheme you have cooked up in your head.
your insecurities will most likely push her away and ruin an otherwise good relationship. you will post about that in gaf, then get over it and hopefully have a better relationship next time.
your insecurities will most likely push her away and ruin an otherwise good relationship. you will post about that in gaf, then get over it and hopefully have a better relationship next time.
fastford58
Member
Don't worry, you won't always be a relationship retard. As you get older and life gets faster, worrying about these things becomes too much of a hassle and you just start to roll with whatever.
I'm starting to get worried - I was certain I wrote out a reply involving dicks being sucked and posted it here. Now I'm afraid the reply went into another thread and people will be reading about murder or something and then their day will be ruined by some asshole duck talking about dicks being sucked completely out of context.
If anyone stumbles across that post, please point it out to me and accept my sincerest apologies.
If anyone stumbles across that post, please point it out to me and accept my sincerest apologies.
brianjones
Member
Kentpaul said:
a shining inspiration for us all
Prediction:
You'll lose this girl because you're unrealistic and immature. I never got people that were bothered by girls having been with someone before them. What do you expect them to do? Just sit around until you come along, because you're the only one that could possibly be the one for them, and they should just instinctively know to wait for you?
But don't worry. You'll lose her. One way or another. When it happens, please don't bullshit yourself about you no longer wanting to be with her, or something. Get the experience you need out of it, it's the only way to prevent yourself from losing the next girl you come acorss. Then you'll realise why it is ridiculous to expect a girl to never have been with anyone else.
You'll lose this girl because you're unrealistic and immature. I never got people that were bothered by girls having been with someone before them. What do you expect them to do? Just sit around until you come along, because you're the only one that could possibly be the one for them, and they should just instinctively know to wait for you?
But don't worry. You'll lose her. One way or another. When it happens, please don't bullshit yourself about you no longer wanting to be with her, or something. Get the experience you need out of it, it's the only way to prevent yourself from losing the next girl you come acorss. Then you'll realise why it is ridiculous to expect a girl to never have been with anyone else.
My situation is actually pretty similar to yours. I even know the guy. He lives the next apartment down from me. But, more to the point, I'm not unreasonable about it. Sometimes it's unpleasant to think about, but even that seems ridiculous to me. All there is to this is to stop being so selfish. Maybe easier said than done, but there's not much more to say.
demosthenes
Member
Traced-Velocity said:
As others have said, get over it.
You're going to be with people that have a sexual history, and the ONLY thing that should concern you about that history is if they're clean (STI/STD) or not. Nothing else matters.
If you keep going down this route she's going to leave you and rightfully so. Everyone comes with baggage in a relationship and it sounds like what's bothering you isn't even the right type of 'baggage'. When she leaves you you'll either do 2 things:
1) Blame her and continue down this path
2) Realize what a fuck up you made and grow up
Do yourself a favor and grow up now so you can avoid #1 all together.
Ivan A Nguyen
Member
From what I can tell, You've missed your one chance at happiness. You are now not as pure as you wanted your ideal mate to be, and when you meet the next one this problem will haunt you.
I could say that you'll get older and outgrow this kind of behavior, but you are 18, fully grown, and there is no more development past that stage of your life. Get used to who you are now, because it never changes. How you feel now is how you will feel in the future, so it's totally ok to make all future decisions based off of what you know.
I could say that you'll get older and outgrow this kind of behavior, but you are 18, fully grown, and there is no more development past that stage of your life. Get used to who you are now, because it never changes. How you feel now is how you will feel in the future, so it's totally ok to make all future decisions based off of what you know.
If I were to give you any advice, and no need to heed it because it seems like you have things figured out, it would be that there is no home stretch in a relationship. Long-Distance or short, unless you are talking about the end, then it's always a journey.Traced-Velocity said:
Instigator
Banned
EviLore said:
To help cinge the image into the OP's brain...
I can't see you two sticking together for very long if you're flying off the handle like this at something so pathetic and small. Better change your outlook on life a grow up a little, people have lived outside of what they've done in your presence.
But hey, it's Valentine's day tomorrow, so get drunk again and make her feel awkward.
But hey, it's Valentine's day tomorrow, so get drunk again and make her feel awkward.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Traced-Velocity said:
You answered your own question.
PflargBlarg
Member
Holy crap this thread is dumb. Why would you even bother talking about past dicks that have been inside her? That's like "hey, I want to feel jealous and territorial, please tell me all about the past guys". Argh, my brain hurts at the reasons for this thread.
Pinko Marx
Banned
My current girlfriend has a baby and was engaged to be married to someone before dating me.
Doesn't bother me one bit. At the end of the day shes on her knees, sucking MY cock. I mean, if that isn't reassurance, idk what is.
Doesn't bother me one bit. At the end of the day shes on her knees, sucking MY cock. I mean, if that isn't reassurance, idk what is.
I'm a little confused as to where all the posts about blaming her for the way I feel came from. Never once did I intentionally try and blame her, I realize it's a stupid thing to get hung over about.
Being in an Asian family, it took quite awhile before my parents lightened up on shit like having a girlfriend. I was on their leash for quite a bit of time during my early teen years till I realized that life isn't long. I was surprised that they didn't flip when I brought home a white girl.Zenith said:
I was more so talking about the fact that she'd be back home for more than just a few weeks after the semester is over, so by then I could figure out whether or not my irrationality stemmed from her being away.Anslon said:
It wasn't my intention to objectify her. Probably came across that way in my post because I was dead tired and still feeling like shit while making the op. I treat her with the utmost respect when I'm around her, whether or not anyone believes me due to how childish my posts have looked. My intention with the little quip about how long it was before anything happened was just to get across the fact that my insecurities don't stem from any 'performance' issues, but rather just my idealistic way of thinking.Chinner said:
I never asked her to describe a situation in which anything happened, but at one point she did; not in great detail anything, but enough to hang my thoughts on it ever since. I mean, it's bugged me from the start of our relationship, but the scenario that she told me about is always the thing I come back to when I start hanging up over the fact that someone's been with her before. Still no excuse for the way I'm reacting though.Wormdundee said:
Instigator
Banned
Traced-Velocity said:
Is the girl also Asian? What about her first BF's race?
Pinko Marx
Banned
Well at least you realize you're being a bit of a bitch about this whole thing. Now all you gotta do is man-up, build a bridge, and get the hell over it.
The fact the shes been plugged before isn't going to change, so what you're doing right now is wasting time and emotional energy being all fussy over, what is really, a small and insignificant fact.
Shes with YOU now, not him. Enjoy it.
The fact the shes been plugged before isn't going to change, so what you're doing right now is wasting time and emotional energy being all fussy over, what is really, a small and insignificant fact.
Shes with YOU now, not him. Enjoy it.
Instigator
Banned
Traced-Velocity said:
Is it possible this has something to do with it? Not implying racism on your part, but maybe feelings of inadequacies on your part?
It's totally plausible any guy's dick in your GF would drive you jealous.
Pinko Marx
Banned
Instigator said:
Did you just make an Asians have small penises joke?
Nah, I've thought about it that way. Never once have I felt inadequate, we have great chemistry.Instigator said:
The more I've thought about it, the more I realize my idealistic feelings probably come from the fact that my parents were both each others first, and I guess I wanted that for myself too; I don't have anyone to blame but myself if I really wanted that though, I screwed that up myself, knowing full well of what I was getting into. I know it's the 21st century, and yeah, it's time for me to get the fuck over it.
:lolPinko Marx said:
Donos said:
I tried! It ended in blood, tears, and mudslides! ;( (In all seriousness, I've made my mark there.)
Instigator
Banned
Pinko Marx said:
I realize that could be interpreted that way, but I was more going in the direction that she had been with 'one of her own'.
To the OP.
Stop being pretentious!
Really, you GOTTA decide what you want.
If you say "omg, jealous, cant help it, omg", that DOES NOT resonate well with "I do not know what I would do if I lost her".
Well, you WILL lose her if you what you do. If you are with your girlfriend and you do not act naturally, but with some jealousy over the past, sooner or later, she will have to break up with you.
So you do not get to say "what would I do without her" when you do not mean it. If you DO mean it, realize that she is not a property of yours, but is another human being with a past and a future. You want to be part of her future? Man up.
Stop being pretentious!
Really, you GOTTA decide what you want.
If you say "omg, jealous, cant help it, omg", that DOES NOT resonate well with "I do not know what I would do if I lost her".
Well, you WILL lose her if you what you do. If you are with your girlfriend and you do not act naturally, but with some jealousy over the past, sooner or later, she will have to break up with you.
So you do not get to say "what would I do without her" when you do not mean it. If you DO mean it, realize that she is not a property of yours, but is another human being with a past and a future. You want to be part of her future? Man up.
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