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Embarrassing Confession Time! GO GO GO!!!
- Thread starter ClovingWestbrook
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Real talk?
I used to be able to suck my own dick in 6th grade (just the tip),prolly 12 years old.
Then one time I got really sick the day after. I was pretty religious and an altar boy at the time. I became convinced God had struck me down with illness for tasting my own man glaze. Have never tasted my penis since then.
I used to be able to suck my own dick in 6th grade (just the tip),prolly 12 years old.
Then one time I got really sick the day after. I was pretty religious and an altar boy at the time. I became convinced God had struck me down with illness for tasting my own man glaze. Have never tasted my penis since then.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
ClassyPenguin
Banned
That scene in Easy A gave me a boner.
Tesseract
Banned
my 5th grade art final was a cartoon bomb. this only days after the oklahoma bombing.
construction job pegging concrete spikes with a giant mallet in front of grown men. i whiffed uncountable times and quit.
spanish final senior year of hs, english to spanish via babelfish. read aloud.
i can go on forever.
construction job pegging concrete spikes with a giant mallet in front of grown men. i whiffed uncountable times and quit.
spanish final senior year of hs, english to spanish via babelfish. read aloud.
i can go on forever.
When I was young my parents set up a play date with a neighbor kid. I was having so much fun playing with our action figures that when he asked where our bathroom was I told him it was broke. He proceeded to hide behind an armchair until he left. His mother called my parents and told them he pooped his pants at our house.
I stole a kids iPod in High School and ran my mouth off about it enough to get caught. Turns out the kid was autistic.
I stole a kids iPod in High School and ran my mouth off about it enough to get caught. Turns out the kid was autistic.
Still feel really fucking guilty about that one.
Phoenix
Member
And so a legendary thread is born...
Never tried to zest your penis after?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOUR EMMA STONE WETDREAMS NOTSOCLASSYPENGUIN
THIS IS ABOUT MY
POCKETFULL OF SUNSHINE
BIGWORM
Member
#1 in my Instant Queue, what the fuck you talking about?
What would make you suspect that?
I saw them in her room. They looked discolored.
DonMigs85
Member
Were they... reddish?
mercenar1e
Member
And your brother? How would you assume THAT?
He helped him push his head closer to his genitals lol
Gouda Jouji
Member
Isn't there a GIF that goes with this?
radioheadrule83
Banned
haha that morpheus post cracked me up!
BIGWORM
Member
Vermillion
Banned
I don't see how liking "Call Me Maybe" or "As Long as You Love Me" is confession worthy. I like both songs.
Glass Rebel
Member
I'm on GAF
syke, I don't even close tabs when chicks look over my shoulder
Hot Coldman
Banned
That Call Me Maybe song is good stuff, don't be embarrassed ma- oh, I see Mordeccai has struck again
DXB-KNIGHT
Member
I was cyber dating a girl for 6 month and before meeting her in real life she confessed that she is actually a 19 year old 12 grader boy and eventually felt sorry for me but he really loved me. I felt so embarrassed and stupid.
Amory
Member
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
These threads need to be anonymous so the weird and wonderful can really flourish. Ronito's Confession Time was such a beautiful thing.
DXB-KNIGHT
Member
Yeah Dark secrets can be easily revealed then.
First time I ever cummed was from sucking myself (~12 yrs). Didn't even know what normal jacking off was, but the limited porn I'd seen had included some sucking pics. Started with just the tip but was able to get a little further, rolled onto my upper back to do it, took some damn fine determination. I didn't thrust or use my hands or anything, literally just sucked it like a pacifier. Streaming vids weren't common on the net back then (remember a site called richard's realm though I found a little later that had vids that played at like 2 frames per second) so I had no idea about cum shooting out, thankfully it was a dry one or I'd have choked on it, actually was the only dry one I've had.
Felt good though and I still remember it specifically. The orgasm was three sharp powerful pumps through my body that sounded like loud heartbeats. All in all I've only sucked myself maybe 10-15 times total in my life, coincidentally one of them was two days ago, and it just isn't worth the effort anymore as I'm not as limber.
I used a key locking program this time (so I wouldn't accidentally hit the keys/touch pad) and positioned my laptop on top of myself while on my back so I could watch some nice porn while I did this. Really was too painful to be that great though this time, was probably the last time I'll ever do it. Was nice for nostalgia purposes at least, Super Mario 64 and autofelatio, ah the memories of my past.
Hats off to you sir.
you were in there - you should have got her number
I shat my shorts in cub scouts while sitting in the back of a van with a bunch of other cubs going on a trip.
I had to stand in a train on a short journey, and I threw up in my mouth just as we arrived at the station. Half swallowed it back down, half ran to the nearest bin to dispose of the rest. I was actually quite proud that I managed to keep it in there - my cheeks were like a hamster
Are you a wizard? Be you long lost sister or brother?
It was several hours after holding the gospel for the reverend at church, my body yearned for release on a fine Sunday afternoon. Bing bang boom a little stretching here a bit of bending there and magic happened, I had experimented before but never finished with this method
Well it happened this time and I did not manage to unfurl from contorted fetal pose in time, a small amount of life found a way and I promptly spat. But the knowledge of the abomination I performed remained and the taste seemed burned into my palate. I recall asking my parents to order hot wings so I could destroy the taste buds.
The next day my nose suffered a deluge of mucous and I could not clear my throat, burning with fever. I convinced myself that god had smote me for being the self fellating altar boy. It was if he was telling me 'if you want to play with your mucous, I will give you a grand excess to play with.' They should make this shit a parable.
But then I grew up and not only did the process become impossible I learned correlation does not imply causation. Thus ended my experience of autofellation. I cannot say anybody misses out by not doing it to be frank.
The Elite
BOSS
Not many people get to see the seed that made them planted in the womb of their mother. I'm not envious.
Interfectum
Member
Blake'sGrave
Member
I can't even words.
Steve o 3000
Banned
When I was 10 years old I sharted and threw my yogurt meatloaf filled undies under my friends bathroom sink. The crazy thing is, this dude's house was usually so nasty that I never heard a word about it.
AdventureRacing
Member
I don't do any of those things but i do have a girlfriend and am quite fun to be around. I don't see why not doing those things would prevent that.
Sanky Panky
Banned
This thread is off to a better start than the anonymous one.
My confession is that I take so much time when I masturbate that I have decided to cut it for the sake of living life. I can't have those 45 to an hour sessions those nights, if I want to get shit done.
My confession is that I take so much time when I masturbate that I have decided to cut it for the sake of living life. I can't have those 45 to an hour sessions those nights, if I want to get shit done.
The Elite
BOSS
I would regularly do 3 hour sessions when I was at my worst. I'm happy to have it down to 30 minutes.
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