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Embarrassing Confession Time! GO GO GO!!!

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Whenever I scratch my balls I gotta smell it.
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One time I got really drunk at a wedding (open bar of course) and threw up. Luckily, I made it to the toilet, but I didn't know I had some vomit on my shirt as I went back to the dance floor to do the cotton-eyed joe.
 
When playing football I ran to catch the ball and spotted dog shit from the neigbor's Rottweiler in my path. I tried stopping before running over the filth but the dewy grass made me slide and lose my balance. I fell to the ground--for what seemed like a lifetime--face-first into a fucking massive pile of fresh dog shit. Never had I been more mortified and sickened in my life. I ran inside and drew a shower while my dad and brother laughed at me and proceeded to fill the bathtub with dog shit chunks and my own vomit. I didn't get sick, thankfully.

Fucking Rotts.
 
Shizzlee
The Dutiful Son
(Yesterday, 01:42 AM)

I fapped to porn that I found on VHS in the basement when I was 13. Turns out that my parents made it when they were younger. I had no idea.
Mordeccai
God is watching
(Yesterday, 03:43 AM)

Real talk?

I used to be able to suck my own dick in 6th grade (just the tip),prolly 12 years old.

Then one time I got really sick the day after. I was pretty religious and an altar boy at the time. I became convinced God had struck me down with illness for tasting my own man glaze. Have never tasted my penis since then.

2 tags, 1 thread? Jesus.
 

injurai

Banned
It is whenever you are around people that enjoy drinking, such as family and friends. Especially as a college student, saying you don't drink makes it seem like you are not fun person or sociable.

I understand this. I really don't like getting shit face, or having a pissing contest of who can down the most, which is usually followed by an actual pissing contest.

Really I like drinks for their taste, and I refuse to have shit bear.
 

Hung Wei Lo

Member
When I was 9, I stumbled upon my older brother's porn collection one day, and every once in a while would take a magazine or a movie to a friend's to watch. I became so enamoured with the female form I used to draw naked women by tracing over comics (mainly Archie comics - Betty & Veronica *drool*) The drawings somehow got mixed into my school work (brother getting revenge?) and one day while taking my books out at school, the drawings fell out in front of everyone :(

within the same year, while walking home for lunch, my friend was trying to be funny and threw my hat onto my roof. I climbed up, and it wasn't there. Fearing the beating I'd get for losing my hat, I hopped over to the neighbour's side and there it was. While picking it up, I heard scratching from the screen door and saw my neighbour's kitten pawing at the balcony door..."awww...it's soooo cute" I look up, and see my 16 year old neighbour totally nekkid, getting ready to take a shower. Kitten meowed. hot naked girl looked out the door. hot naked girl gave me the finger

So I was known as the pervert and peeping tom for the rest of the year
 

t-ramp

Member
I understand this. I really don't like getting shit face, or having a pissing contest of who can down the most, which is usually followed by an actual pissing contest.

Really I like drinks for their taste, and I refuse to have shit bear.
Pretty much. I think some people look at beer as simply a vehicle to drunkenness, and either use it as such or completely avoid alcohol because of this view. But, assuming most people can find beers they enjoy, it's really their loss. A beer or two on a given evening is generally not going to bring any harm. That said, I can respect someone's abstinence based on a personal or family history of alcohol abuse or concern over one's lack of self-control, but abstaining from alcohol on some vague principle doesn't seem to me to be a mature view.
 
A year ago I had a varicose vein which caused my balls to ache so badly. I ended up going to the hospital and had to have an ultrasound for my testicles. This dude smeared that clear gel all over and it felt so weird. I really wish it had been a chick.
 

Az987

all good things
This thread is off to a better start than the anonymous one.

My confession is that I take so much time when I masturbate that I have decided to cut it for the sake of living life. I can't have those 45 to an hour sessions those nights, if I want to get shit done.

Ha, that's funny. 45 minutes!?

I take pain killers for a condition I have and for some reason I always decide to jerk off when I'm high on pain killers. Well, I usually end up jerking off for 3 hours in the middle of the night and I never use lube so the next day is kind of... painful.

I have a bunch of scars on my dick. Did you know Vaseline heals small wounds up really fast? Thank you to whoever discovered petroleum jelly!

I'm going to call myself Scarcock if I ever become a rapper or drug lord.
 
Hmm. I don't really have any? I read fanfic? I sometimes read slash fanfic? I lust after male celebs with cheekbones?

I honestly don't censor myself on Gaf even though one of my family members is a pretty popular member?

I don't have anything shocking enough, dammit.
 

coldvein

Banned
sometimes i pee in a water bottle next to my bed instead of walking to the bathroom.

i'm not really too embarassed by that actually.
 

legacyzero

Banned
But seriously I watch Big Bang Theory because I'm INSANELY in love with Penny.

sometimes i pee in a water bottle next to my bed instead of walking to the bathroom.

i'm not really too embarassed by that actually.
Nah, that's just efficiency!

I NEVER stand up to pee in the middle of the night. To hell with that!
 
I hade to take a piss but the bath was already taken by my father so I had to pee into the dishwasher, the pee did not touch any plates or anything but the next few dinners were awkward as fuck for me.
 
D

Deleted member 81567

Unconfirmed Member
I used to draw Iron Man porn on my mom's fashion magazines when I was 4-5 years old, and then twirled my penis around in attempt to masturbate (back then it simply "felt good."
 

Dali

Member
I used to cut through some woods to get home after the bus dropped me off in middle school. One day I couldn't hold it in and pooped in a clearing, walked pants around ankles to the nearest trees and wipes with leaves. I was in the home stretch and thought I could make it. No one saw me I don't think, but its still embarassing.

I hade to take a piss but the bath was already taken by my father so I had to pee into the dishwasher, the pee did not touch any plates or anything but the next few dinners were awkward as fuck for me.
Just gonna asume you were too little to reach a sink.
 

Ryaaan14

Banned
I hade to take a piss but the bath was already taken by my father so I had to pee into the dishwasher, the pee did not touch any plates or anything but the next few dinners were awkward as fuck for me.
Why would you piss in a dishwasher instead of a sink?

And beaten
 

Timo

Member
I hade to take a piss but the bath was already taken by my father so I had to pee into the dishwasher, the pee did not touch any plates or anything but the next few dinners were awkward as fuck for me.

If you lived in a house with a back yard and a tree, for shame.

The most embarrassing thing I'll admit is a year ago I couldn't get an erection with a girl. At all. It was mortifying. I had eaten her out and fingered her beforehand and did my job, good, but I sat there for 10 minutes and just couldn't get wood no matter what she did.

She was one of my sisters best friends too.
 

isual

Member
I fap and then leave it in my undies for 1-2 days at most

and I wear it, sometimes I go outside with the man-ju still there
 

Mordeccai

Member
The sink was full of plates and some crockery after lunch plus I had to act quickly!

This happened last year and I'm 19 so heigh is not a problem, I was just peeing myself to death.

Dude. Pee outside? Out of a window? Anything but near the eating ware, man.
 

t-ramp

Member
The sink was full of plates and some crockery after lunch plus I had to act quickly!

This happened last year and I'm 19 so heigh is not a problem, I was just peeing myself to death.
I feel there had to have been a better option...

My brother peed off the kitchen counter when he was probably 3 or so, just for the hell of it.

I used to draw Iron Man porn on my mom's fashion magazines when I was 4-5 years old, and then twirled my penis around in attempt to masturbate (back then it simply "felt good."
This isn't really related, but one day I brought an issue of Transworld Skateboarding to school and a classmate drew penises on a good portion of the photographs in it. I'm not even sure which issue it is, one of the ~100 on my shelf.
 
D

Deleted member 81567

Unconfirmed Member
I fap and then leave it in my undies for 1-2 days at most

and I wear it, sometimes I go outside with the man-ju still there

I do that too.

*high 5*
 

Galang

Banned
I hade to take a piss but the bath was already taken by my father so I had to pee into the dishwasher, the pee did not touch any plates or anything but the next few dinners were awkward as fuck for me.

Don't you feel awkward knowing you did that and your family are eating from the plates... I mean wouldn't some splash on the plates anyway even if you couldn't see? And even if not, wouldn't it have stayed there until the dishwasher was on? I'm not sure how strong dishwashers are, but I find it hard to believe the dishwasher would fully be able to disinfect it... sounds messed lol..
 
I used to cut through some woods to get home after the bus dropped me off in middle school. One day I couldn't hold it in and pooped in a clearing, walked pants around ankles to the nearest trees and wipes with leaves. I was in the home stretch and thought I could make it. No one saw me I don't think, but its still embarassing.

I've done the same thing, only I was a bit younger, and did not yet know about poison ivy...
 
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