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Grand Cherokee drivers = a-holes

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P

PoweredBySoy

Banned
I've determined that drivers of Jeep Grand Cherokees have a 91% probability of being a complete dickwad on the road. Let's go over some statistics....

First, Jeep owners tend to skew toward the male demographic, therefore raising the probability of being aggressive and immature. +56%

At a Grand Cherokees price point, you're most likely looking at someone fresh out of college, looking to buy their first decent car in awhile. Plus, after just finishing college and driving a new 4WD vehicle, they probably feel invincible to the world. +14%

They're pieces of shit. The only Jeep worth owning is a CJ, but these people don't know any better. They see "Jeep", the expensive price tag, and think of what an image this will create for themselves. Ignorance with an air of superiority +24%

4WD in snow means the ability to take corners going mach 2. Right? Every other driver on the road must just suck. +38%

These things are a plague on our roadways.
 
MisterHero

MisterHero

Super Member
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!
 
D

Draft

Member
Wrangler = cool

Long Wrangler = not cool

Grand Cherokee = not cool

Cherokee = cool if you are a guy that went to prep school in the Mid Atlantic or North East (holla.)

All other jeeps = not cool
 
DietRob

DietRob

i've been begging for over 5 years.
Fuck man? I own a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo as my 'snow' vehicle. I'm not an asshole, promise.

It's been a great vehicle for me for the 5 years I've owned it. No major engine work. I've changed oil, ect.. Got new tires and that's been about it. Great vehicle.

OK, actually it is the vehicle my wife wanted to buy. Me not so much. However, it is still a good vehicle and I'm not an asshole, asshole.
 
V

Vlad

Member
I think it's regional. I don't know how many Jeeps I see around the DC area, but I can say with absolute certainty that 90% of the asshole drivers around here are driving a Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, etc.
 
I

I'm an expert

Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Pretty sure everyone on the road except me is a fuckin asshole. Regardless of age, gender, or vehicle type.
 
T

ToxicAdam

Member
Draft said:
Wrangler = cool

Long Wrangler = not cool

Grand Cherokee = not cool

Cherokee = cool if you are a guy that went to prep school in the Mid Atlantic or North East (holla.)

All other jeeps = not cool
Click to expand...

Poor Liberty ... can't even make the list.


The Wrangler reminds me of Ray-bans ... eternal classic.
 
S

Skel1ingt0n

I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
Jeeps are pretty common in the Midwest, and aren't usually assholes at all. I have a 2011 Liberty; but because I'm a tall and big, young guy constantly moving stuff back and forth and wanted something roomy with a high roof and high clearance.

Biggest assholes seem to be those driving newer model muscle cars and lifted 4x4 trucks.
 
P

PoweredBySoy

Banned
GitarooMan said:
Ha, I've always joked with my friends that it's the Wrangler drivers who are 90% douchebags.
Click to expand...

When it comes to the rules of the road and other drivers, I've had zero problems with Wranglers. They're always laid back, just chillin' in their J-doubleE-P. I approve of these folk.
 
Bitmap Frogs

Bitmap Frogs

Mr. Community
ToxicAdam said:
Poor Liberty ... can't even make the list.


The Wrangler reminds me of Ray-bans ... eternal classic.
Click to expand...

The wrangler IS the classic sports utility vehicle. It even has drains and waterproof interior for water crossing/hose washing. It sucks that suburban yuppies and safety regulations are curb stomping this beauty to the ground. Taking down the windshield is a PITA on the newer ones.

Nowadays a friggin digital compass on the dash passes for utility.
 
NinjaBoiX

NinjaBoiX

Member
Jeeps are girls cars.

Girls are usually poor drivers. I usually find them indecisive, slow, and they just handle the car poorly.

I realise how wrong this statement probably is, but I always eyeball a bad driver given the chance, and 9/10, it's a chick.

Sorry ladyGAF, but most of you suck at driving.
 
D

drspeedy

Member
MisterHero said:
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!
Click to expand...

YEEES!

For under-30 GAF:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4QgWRycd7I
 
B

BMX Bandit

Member
Futureman said:
It's a Jeep thing, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND
Click to expand...

i see this on a majority of the jeeps i see on the road. also the one they put on upside down that says something about if you can read it correctly flip them over. ive also noticed jeeps park next to other jeeps. what's that about? if you buy a jeep are you joining a secret club?
 
NinjaBoiX

NinjaBoiX

Member
Philia said:
No offense taken, but you just don't live long enough to tell about it. :)
Click to expand...
I don't follow what you mean.

As I say, it's a horribly sexist pov, and I'm probably entirely wrong, but goddamn, from my experience, I'm bang on the fucking money!

Edit: Oh, I read the link after the edit!

Well I'm 30, so I don't fall into that demographic. The majority of the bad drivers I come across are young girls though, so there is probably some truth to it.
 
A

Aguirre

Member
NinjaBoiX said:
Jeeps are girls cars.

Girls are usually poor drivers. I usually find them indecisive, slow, and they just handle the car poorly.

I realise how wrong this statement probably is, but I always eyeball a bad driver given the chance, and 9/10, it's a chick.

Sorry ladyGAF, but most of you suck at driving.
Click to expand...
:( i think im a safe and decisive driver...
 
DJ_Lae

DJ_Lae

Member
My uncle used to do road tests in his province before getting sick of it, and I remember him commenting that the only brand of vehicle that almost guaranteed an idiot driver was a Jeep.

On general roads I find that jacked up trucks are a better indicator, and after moving here to Alberta...there's a lot of trucks on the road, raised or otherwise. There are also a lot of aggressive, terrible drivers. But if you're already going way over the speed limit, the only kind of person who's going to pass you at insane speeds is going to be in a large truck or Hummer.
 
T

The Albatross

Member
PoweredBySoy said:
First, Jeep owners tend to skew toward the male demographic, therefore raising the probability of being aggressive and immature. +56%
Click to expand...

What? Almost every jeep owner that I know is a female.

Also, aggressive driving != dickwad driving. I'd much rather be driving next to an aggressive driver who asserts himself/herself on the road, than some passive aggressive shit head who stops in the middle of intersections to let somebody go for no reason, causing untold accidents behind him/her, and holding everybody up (including the person he/she let go unexpectedly).

That being said, commuting every day, never noticed Jeep drivers being any worse. Volvo drivers, on the other hand... ugh. There's a reason they need the safest car on the road.

There are two road rules that I would share with any young driver:

1) Know the right of way at all times, and TAKE IT WHEN YOU HAVE IT.
2) If you want to get somewhere (get into a lane of traffic, get to your exit, get onto the highway, get into a street, get into a parking space), you MUST accellerate, NOT slow down. You will cause untold mayhem if you try to get onto the highway or get into a lane by slowing down, ALWAYS speed up.*


*rare exceptions to this rule.
 
N

Nairume

Banned
I used to have a Grand Cherokee, and I'm not an asshole :(

Granted, mine was the smaller mid-90's style and I'm the furthest thing from an aggressive driver.

The new ones suck.
 
K

KingGondo

Banned
The surest indicator of a dick driver in my experience is that they're driving a Pontiac.

I was happy as hell when GM killed that brand.
 
P

Philia

Member
I did thought Jeeps are cute though. But I wasn't looking at it for more practical reasons but rather the compact size. The practical 4WD was a bonus for off the road trips fantasies. I don't think I'll ever deviate from my Toyota sedans though.
 
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