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Learn to shit ffs
- Thread starter Carlisle
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nVidiot_Whore
Banned
J-Rod said:
I just wonder about your dicks...
... also..
.. I wonder why you think they are more germy then say.. anything else you would touch throughout the day?
This is a better shit thread than the one a couple of months ago about water splashing in your asshole.
Kinda on topic, we were doing a bid at work for automatic hand dryers, and one of the suppliers told us that those Dyson hand dryers that circulate the air are blowing fecal particles all over your hands.
Kinda on topic, we were doing a bid at work for automatic hand dryers, and one of the suppliers told us that those Dyson hand dryers that circulate the air are blowing fecal particles all over your hands.
Mr. E. Yis
Banned
Really ironic the OP doesn't know how to take a shit himself.
You play with your iphone while taking a shit?? All the shit particles in the air are going on your phone, and then later when calling someone, you'll put your mouth against it. Yum. That's worse than the nasty freaks who bring laptops or NintendoDS to the toilet. Do you wash your hands afterwards? What's the point if you do??
On a side note: Who normally takes 20 minutes to take a shit?? That's some bad bowels. I can count on one hand how many shits I took that lasted over 10 minutes in the past year. Either you're an old man with colon problems, or you're younger with a horrible diet.
Carlisle said:
You play with your iphone while taking a shit?? All the shit particles in the air are going on your phone, and then later when calling someone, you'll put your mouth against it. Yum. That's worse than the nasty freaks who bring laptops or NintendoDS to the toilet. Do you wash your hands afterwards? What's the point if you do??
On a side note: Who normally takes 20 minutes to take a shit?? That's some bad bowels. I can count on one hand how many shits I took that lasted over 10 minutes in the past year. Either you're an old man with colon problems, or you're younger with a horrible diet.
spindashing
Banned
Garryk said:
............
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Some of you people obsessed with "shit particles" and whatnot really shouldn't look into any of the studies done on how much fecal matter is just all over the place where people congregate.
OK, I'll tell you the secret: there is no more or less fecal particles inside of a bathroom, on bathroom doorhandles, etc. then any other commonly touched surface in say... an office building.
OK, I'll tell you the secret: there is no more or less fecal particles inside of a bathroom, on bathroom doorhandles, etc. then any other commonly touched surface in say... an office building.
ClosingADoor
Member
Mr. E. Yis said:
Are you serious? Shit particles in the air?
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
J-Rod said:
On.. your dick?
Urine splatters all over your legs and feet at a urinal.
Try going to a crowded restroom wearing shorts and flip-flops and you will learn exactly how much pee get's all over you from urinals.. and it's not just YOUR urinal, it's the guy(s) next to you too.
No urine splatters on my hands when I pee.. or on my penis... you guys and your penile mutiliation habits must cause strange spray.
HAWT
Even if this is remotely the case at least its my own shit and my own phone and not someone else's I'm rubbing all over my face.Mr. E. Yis said:
I'm only actively shitting for about 15-20 seconds. The rest of the time I'm iPhoning in the quiet recluse of my bathroom stall. It's my own private home away from home while the rest of the world buzzes around me and about their hurried little days.Mr. E. Yis said:
when I have a piss in our toilet at work, a few times I lift the lid up and there's shit UNDERNEATH the lid!!!
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK???
Its like at the far end of the lid, so when you lift it up its at the bottom. Everything else is generally ok.
One time we had a shit that was one continuous blob that physically blocked the toilet. biggest shit I ever saw from a human. It was like someone swallwed a 9 inch sub whole and then shat it out whole
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK???
Its like at the far end of the lid, so when you lift it up its at the bottom. Everything else is generally ok.
One time we had a shit that was one continuous blob that physically blocked the toilet. biggest shit I ever saw from a human. It was like someone swallwed a 9 inch sub whole and then shat it out whole
spindashing
Banned
kaizoku said:
ASSHOLES HOW DO THEY WORK
lunarworks
Member
Do you have any recent Asian immigrants at work?
(Yes, they have different toilets over there and some don't know exactly how to use ours.)
(Yes, they have different toilets over there and some don't know exactly how to use ours.)
It doesn't happen at my office anymore thank god but someone would just shit on the floor in front of the actual toilet. Like WTF? Numerous people would complain, I'm surprised the cleaners actually cleaned it up......
No idea what was going on in the head of the dude who kept on doing it. Still, it doesn't happen any more and times are good again.
Whoever it was though gained the nickname of the phantom pooper.
No idea what was going on in the head of the dude who kept on doing it. Still, it doesn't happen any more and times are good again.
Whoever it was though gained the nickname of the phantom pooper.
Dr.Horrible
Member
Carlisle said:
Exactly.
teruterubozu
Member
I hate those dudes who jerk off at work and leave dried jizz all over the stall. I mean WTF?
Neuromancer
Member
Every office building has a secret bathroom somewhere; you just have to look for it, and there's always an unspoken agreement to keep it halfway clean. Good luck.
Ninja Scooter
Member
I thought it would be great that I work at an office with only like 5 other guys but man the bathroom is still a mess sometimes. I swear I don't know WTF is up with these other guys diets that cause them to take these epic death-smelling shits at like 8 in the morning.
Mr. E. Yis
Banned
ClosingADoor said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeAOC3A0xJ8 Mythbusters did a test on it.
It's somewhat a myth (only because fecal particles are EVERYWHERE, not just the bathroom), but it's more concentrated in a bathroom obviously.
Carlisle said:
But it's not only yours. Besides the above 'air particles', you touched dirty door handles, stall doors, flush knobs, sinks (which were also touched by the guy who did the shit mess in your post)- seconds apart from touching your iphone. So indirectly he touched your phone with his dirty hands.
When I'm in a public restroom, I touch nothing in my pockets until after I wash my hands and I'm out of the restroom. I cringe thinking of the old guys at work who come out with the newspapers that they brought in with them. Disgusting. Just leave it in there.
:lol :lol another golden GAF thread
anyways, I hate it when ppl take a dump and don't even flush the toilet at our work place or at some public restroom and leave all their glory to be witnessed by any one using the toilet next..WTF????? didn't any one teach them that you need to fucking flush the toilet after you done ... so disgusting seriously
anyways, I hate it when ppl take a dump and don't even flush the toilet at our work place or at some public restroom and leave all their glory to be witnessed by any one using the toilet next..WTF????? didn't any one teach them that you need to fucking flush the toilet after you done ... so disgusting seriously
I'm not disagreeing with you, but if you like your job, why not take the time that smokers are wasting to prove you're more productive?Carlisle said:
Think of it this way; if people are getting fired for being unproductive, specifically because of time wasted per day, why get lumped in with the smokers just because of some shitty spite-powered crusade?
Dynamite Ringo Matsuri
Member
Huh. You stuff an Atlantic Salmon down your trousers too huh? *Bro fist*Chinner said:this is how i poop
:lol
This reminds me of the epic shit one of my co-workers took. It was the largest turd Id ever seen. So large and long that the tip could be seen poking out of the toilet. When you entered the bathroom all you saw was the turd poking it's head out of the toilet welcoming you inside.:lol :lol
The guy doesn't work there anymore but the story is legendary, he'll always be remembered for that.
This reminds me of the epic shit one of my co-workers took. It was the largest turd Id ever seen. So large and long that the tip could be seen poking out of the toilet. When you entered the bathroom all you saw was the turd poking it's head out of the toilet welcoming you inside.:lol :lol
The guy doesn't work there anymore but the story is legendary, he'll always be remembered for that.
Escape Goat
Member
shit particles :lol
The people in my office are pros at shitting. Every time I need to pee someone was just in there not five minutes before dropping a major deuce. Every. Fucking. Time... I try not to shit at work myself. There are, however, times that I simply have to go. The others are apparently proud of their shitting ability.
I'll never forget the time I was at Target as a kid. I went into the bathroom and like every five inches of the floor, walls, and ceiling were, for some reason, covered in shit. The sad part was a Target worker lady was in there picking it up by hand... with toilet paper, I just fucking left even though I was two minutes away from pissing my pants.
I'll never forget the time I was at Target as a kid. I went into the bathroom and like every five inches of the floor, walls, and ceiling were, for some reason, covered in shit. The sad part was a Target worker lady was in there picking it up by hand... with toilet paper, I just fucking left even though I was two minutes away from pissing my pants.
Nard Bagman
Member
I've never experienced a shit-covered toilet and I hope I never will.
BloodySinner
Banned
Mr. E. Yis said:
I never should have browsed this thread.
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