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You see a man/woman/child crying in the parking lot, do you ask them if they're ok?
- Thread starter maxcriden
- Start date
Crayon
Member
Sometimes yes. If it looks like I could help by noticing them, then yes.
With the kid situation I would do that from a distance like 10-20 feet because i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. In fact in the past, I have asked random ladies to check on a kid who seems to need help.
With the kid situation I would do that from a distance like 10-20 feet because i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. In fact in the past, I have asked random ladies to check on a kid who seems to need help.
I've done it before, twice even.
Saw a little girl crying alone in a park while walking my dog, not an adult in site.
Walked over and asked her where her parents where and she said they were fighting and got scared, so I let her play with my dog to calm her down and then went to find her parents who were panicking in the parking lot looking for their daughter. I waved them down and they rushed over and took her back, thanked me and asked to take a picture of her and my dog.
Second time was similar, though I didnt have my dog. Saw a little boy playing alone by himself in the parking lot of a super market and he was riding a shopping cart that flipped over and nearly fell on him, jumped off at the last second but scraped his knees and elbows pretty badly. People just walked on by him so I came over and helped him out. Got some tissues from car to clean his scrapes and took his hand into the store to call his parents over the intercom. Nobody came by so I stayed, asked if they knew their cell phone number and he gave us his mothers, called her up, she sounded angry and not two minutes later a very worried looking man came by and picked up his son. I could tell the mother called the father and chewed his ass out raw.
Im a 6ft tall large puerto rican man that has a mustache that would be best described as "Cholo looking" as well.
Saw a little girl crying alone in a park while walking my dog, not an adult in site.
Walked over and asked her where her parents where and she said they were fighting and got scared, so I let her play with my dog to calm her down and then went to find her parents who were panicking in the parking lot looking for their daughter. I waved them down and they rushed over and took her back, thanked me and asked to take a picture of her and my dog.
Second time was similar, though I didnt have my dog. Saw a little boy playing alone by himself in the parking lot of a super market and he was riding a shopping cart that flipped over and nearly fell on him, jumped off at the last second but scraped his knees and elbows pretty badly. People just walked on by him so I came over and helped him out. Got some tissues from car to clean his scrapes and took his hand into the store to call his parents over the intercom. Nobody came by so I stayed, asked if they knew their cell phone number and he gave us his mothers, called her up, she sounded angry and not two minutes later a very worried looking man came by and picked up his son. I could tell the mother called the father and chewed his ass out raw.
Im a 6ft tall large puerto rican man that has a mustache that would be best described as "Cholo looking" as well.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
For a child on their own crying hysterically? Of course. I'm a dad..I'd hope someone would do the same for me.
I highly doubt anyone would think I was a rapist or pedophile for asking, but my assumption is that adults who cry in public want to be left alone. This is based on how I feel when I cry in public though. Not because I don't want anyone in my business, but I feel like if people acknowledge me I'll start crying even harder.
I'd probably ask if everything was alright, from a distance. If they ignored me or said the dismissive "I'm fine!!" I'd probably back off right then and there.
This reminds me of one sentimental moment I witnessed on my way to work one morning here in downtown DC; there was this young guy, probably about 25-years-old or so, in a full suit just completely sobbing to himself at the corner of an intersection. Like full on Batman-watching-his-parents-die sobbing. Of course I thought of seeing what was up, but I figured there was really no need since he was already being attended to; next to him stood a visibly homeless guy, arm wrapped around him, saying something to the effect of "there, there buddy, it's gonna be alright". I didn't stick around much longer, as I was on my way to work after all, but it was heartwarming, if not a bit ironic, to see such a thing.
This reminds me of one sentimental moment I witnessed on my way to work one morning here in downtown DC; there was this young guy, probably about 25-years-old or so, in a full suit just completely sobbing to himself at the corner of an intersection. Like full on Batman-watching-his-parents-die sobbing. Of course I thought of seeing what was up, but I figured there was really no need since he was already being attended to; next to him stood a visibly homeless guy, arm wrapped around him, saying something to the effect of "there, there buddy, it's gonna be alright". I didn't stick around much longer, as I was on my way to work after all, but it was heartwarming, if not a bit ironic, to see such a thing.
Sgt. Kabukiman
Banned
If it's a child, yes, I would ask if they're lost or something. I've done it a couple of times at the supermarket and at the beach.
A man... I don't know. If it was me I would probably want to be left alone so I would respect their privacy unless they're obviously unwell or hurt.
A woman... It's a bit weird if it's in a parking lot and she's alone. I wouldn't want to scare her. I would maybe ask if she's okay from a distance but I don't know, honestly.
All of this is if they are strangers. If I know them, I will ask them what's wrong unless I know for sure that they want to be left alone.
A man... I don't know. If it was me I would probably want to be left alone so I would respect their privacy unless they're obviously unwell or hurt.
A woman... It's a bit weird if it's in a parking lot and she's alone. I wouldn't want to scare her. I would maybe ask if she's okay from a distance but I don't know, honestly.
All of this is if they are strangers. If I know them, I will ask them what's wrong unless I know for sure that they want to be left alone.
Nope, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that.
With that being said, if somebody who is crying approaches me and engages in conversation, I would be happy to hear them out and potentially help them (if I'm able).
EDIT: When it comes to children, I would probably flag somebody else down and go talk to them together. As an adult male, I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking alone to a crying child on the street.
With that being said, if somebody who is crying approaches me and engages in conversation, I would be happy to hear them out and potentially help them (if I'm able).
EDIT: When it comes to children, I would probably flag somebody else down and go talk to them together. As an adult male, I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking alone to a crying child on the street.
That's the right move. Shes indoor, in the elevator, she ain't going nowhere.
Her parents and a bunch of security officers probably scrambling searching for her, they'd find her in no time.
It's gonna look like you're trying to take her away if you get anywhere near her.
Hoya Destroyer
Member
A crying child? Definitely.
A crying woman? Probably.
A crying man? Maybe.
When it came to the adults, a lot would depend on what they look like. If they looked crazy or like druggo's, I'd probably steer clear and let the police talk to them.
A crying woman? Probably.
A crying man? Maybe.
When it came to the adults, a lot would depend on what they look like. If they looked crazy or like druggo's, I'd probably steer clear and let the police talk to them.
hodayathink
Member
Here's a story from my college years.
Walking home from IHOP after a party, I ran into a woman crying on the street, and then yelling at some guys who were catcalling her. I asked if she needed any help and if there was something I could do. She asked me to walk her home, to which I said okay. Over the course of that walk, she proceeded to tell me that she had just been raped by a friend whom she went to his apartment to study with. She asked me some basic stuff, like if I thought she should go to the police (I said she should, but that she didn't have to if she didn't want to go through all it entailed) and why someone would do something like that (that is a heart-wrenching question to actually be asked, by the way). Once we got back to her place, she called her roommates to come get her (I guess she didn't have her key to get into the building), and they thanked me for helping out.
I was generally a helpful person before that, but after, if I ever see someone in distress in public, I will ask them if they need help, man, woman or child.
Walking home from IHOP after a party, I ran into a woman crying on the street, and then yelling at some guys who were catcalling her. I asked if she needed any help and if there was something I could do. She asked me to walk her home, to which I said okay. Over the course of that walk, she proceeded to tell me that she had just been raped by a friend whom she went to his apartment to study with. She asked me some basic stuff, like if I thought she should go to the police (I said she should, but that she didn't have to if she didn't want to go through all it entailed) and why someone would do something like that (that is a heart-wrenching question to actually be asked, by the way). Once we got back to her place, she called her roommates to come get her (I guess she didn't have her key to get into the building), and they thanked me for helping out.
I was generally a helpful person before that, but after, if I ever see someone in distress in public, I will ask them if they need help, man, woman or child.
ldcommando
Banned
Maybe the kid, with caution.
yep. I'd call the police or ask a woman to go see what's wrong
shawnbuddy
Member
A child crying alone? Sure. Although if at all possible I would try to get a woman to do it or help me do it because I don't want to get my ass beaten and be labeled a pedo for doing a good deed unless it's absolutely necessary.
A grown woman or man might depend on the circumstances. There are a lot of reasons a person might cry in public where they don't need and absolutely don't want your help, so you'd have to evaluate it and see if they seemed lost, injured or distressed. Maybe they just had a bad breakup or a family member died or they were yelled at by their boss and just need to cry it out. I'd be more likely to help an elderly crying person than a young crying person, because I'd be concerned that I might have stumbled on someone suffering dementia who might be lost or confused.
A grown woman or man might depend on the circumstances. There are a lot of reasons a person might cry in public where they don't need and absolutely don't want your help, so you'd have to evaluate it and see if they seemed lost, injured or distressed. Maybe they just had a bad breakup or a family member died or they were yelled at by their boss and just need to cry it out. I'd be more likely to help an elderly crying person than a young crying person, because I'd be concerned that I might have stumbled on someone suffering dementia who might be lost or confused.
dragonchild
Banned
Crying? No. Crying is a normal response to very emotional stimuli, but it's the "normal" part that's important. If someone's crying, they're probably not broken. It's like if a drunk person is puking, obviously that's too much booze but the body's got plenty of fight. It's stable; it hasn't lost control. Someone in serious distress will be standing on a bridge barefoot or collapsed and not breathing. If someone needed immediate attention, sure, I'll intervene.
. . . but at first chance I'll GTFO. I have actually been advised to do this by first responders -- if you assist someone in an emergency, someone in their family will press charges and/or sue your ass. So once they (meaning the medics) take over, walk away. Just walk away! They won't stop you, and in doing so they'll protect you from retribution. The family can't prosecute or sue if they can't track you down. Besides, these aren't the things you should be doing for recognition. Do the right thing, GTFO, then get on with your life.
. . . but at first chance I'll GTFO. I have actually been advised to do this by first responders -- if you assist someone in an emergency, someone in their family will press charges and/or sue your ass. So once they (meaning the medics) take over, walk away. Just walk away! They won't stop you, and in doing so they'll protect you from retribution. The family can't prosecute or sue if they can't track you down. Besides, these aren't the things you should be doing for recognition. Do the right thing, GTFO, then get on with your life.
LowlySmokeGuy
Banned
Nah. Fuck em.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Probably not. I definitely wouldn't if it was an adult because I assume they won't need or want my help. If they want to talk to someone about why they're upset it would probably make more sense for them to talk to someone they know anyway.
I'd consider stopping for a kid, but I'm weary of it because of how some people react when male strangers approach children who aren't theirs.
I'd consider stopping for a kid, but I'm weary of it because of how some people react when male strangers approach children who aren't theirs.
Probably not, unless it's clear that something is wrong (injury). I'm not an narcissistic asshole by any means but I just have the feeling a lot of people just want to be alone in that kind of situation. Not me though...unfortunately i feel the urge to adjust myself to societal norms, because I can't predict how they would react.
Kids and elder People wouldn't be a problem. I'd be glad to help.
Kids and elder People wouldn't be a problem. I'd be glad to help.
This is one of those little things that make you realise how much it must suck to be black in America. It would be so alien to have to think about situations like that. I would ask anyoen crying if they are ok or needed help. I would never be scared of having to prove my innocence I've never even thought about it.
TimeEffect
Member
Yes, I most likely would.
Less so if they are with others who seem capable of help, unless they are kids
Less so if they are with others who seem capable of help, unless they are kids
Echoing what my other black males said. As a black man if I see a black maybe asian child or lady crying Ill try to help but if I see a white lady or child and they are not in immediate danger Ill walk the fuck on. Life is too short to deal with the fallout of that shit, especially where I work.
shawnbuddy
Member
To add some context to my answer, I'm a huge bushy-bearded hillbilly. My presence does not necessarily put strangers at ease. I've had women step all the way off the sidewalk to avoid me. I've overheard parents use me as a "the mean man will get you" threat to get their kids to behave in a public places. I'm really carefully not to seem like I'm following or staring at people because I don't want to scare them. So, again, it'd have to be really clear cut and I'd have to be sure I wasn't going to make it worse.
XxfinchyxX
Neo Member
I actually cry quite a lot but try not to in public but when people ask me if I'm ok it makes me feel better.
Username1198
Member
Yes, because of my mom, if I see people crying I will always ask if they are ok and need any help.
adversarial
Member
No, been watching Forensic Files too much. I would assume it's a ploy to get me to come close so they could kidnap me.
sixteen-bit
Member
Honestly, probably not.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
No
Different cases.
If the child is all alone, then I would ask if he/ she is lost.
As a man, I would only approach the woman if obviously in distress, as you should be allowed to be sad or going through something emotional without the feeling you are being hit on for appearing vulnerable.
If the child is all alone, then I would ask if he/ she is lost.
As a man, I would only approach the woman if obviously in distress, as you should be allowed to be sad or going through something emotional without the feeling you are being hit on for appearing vulnerable.
Yeah.
I did walking home in the middle of the night a summers day some few years back. A girl around her twenties sat and cried on a bench and I sat down and asked her if she was ok. She said that she had a rough evening and we had a conversation about life in general, without touching on why she was crying in specific.
Half an hour passed and she seemed better so I got up and thanked her for the company and headed on home. It's a fond memory of mine.
I did walking home in the middle of the night a summers day some few years back. A girl around her twenties sat and cried on a bench and I sat down and asked her if she was ok. She said that she had a rough evening and we had a conversation about life in general, without touching on why she was crying in specific.
Half an hour passed and she seemed better so I got up and thanked her for the company and headed on home. It's a fond memory of mine.
You Are Viewtiful
Member
Yeah, I would ask them if they're okay, maybe talk it out, maybe make a new friend, who knows.
TickleMeElbow
Member
Adult, no.
Child, I'd assume they're lost or something, so I'd prolly get help.
Child, I'd assume they're lost or something, so I'd prolly get help.
HawksWinStanley
Member
zoleristec
Member
Not my problem.
BobNewbert31
Member
I'll give a quick "You alright?" and then go from there.
Spiritwalker
Member
Only if it's a kid, elderly, someone who looks injured or very clearly needs help. Otherwise it's none of my business.
Winters_Solace
Member
I think i'd be putting myself at risk by approaching, either from others or the person themselves so no, i'd walk on. Kid on the other hand if they are crying hysterically and seemingly lost i'd call the police and from a distance wait until they arrive.
Pankratous
Member
For men and woman it depends entirely on what they look like, to be honest. Lots of junkies in Glasgow so I wouldn't approach them, if only because their problem is likely to become my problem. A normal person though I'd ask what's up.
As a man I wouldn't go near a crying child.
As a man I wouldn't go near a crying child.
Billy_Pilgrim
Member
Depends on how inebriated/dissociated they appear to be.
gutter_trash
Banned
No because I cry as a man, especially when I think of my beloved mother who is no longer with us.
people need to grieve in peace and if they want space and alone time, then let them be.
Only if a kid is in distress with no grown-up in site will I ask them if their parents are close by
people need to grieve in peace and if they want space and alone time, then let them be.
Only if a kid is in distress with no grown-up in site will I ask them if their parents are close by
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