This shouldn't be funny but I'm laughing hysterically reading this.
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You see a man/woman/child crying in the parking lot, do you ask them if they're ok?
- Thread starter maxcriden
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Mammoth Jones
Member
If they're visibly hurt I wouldn't hesitate. But other than that? Nope. Not getting my life destroyed because of some false accusation I was kidnapping a kid. Or some emotionally disturbed dude that flips out.
I never understood that mentality. Is that a big city mentality or such. That person can say 'no thanks' if they dont want help. And in case they would like a person to talk to then you are their saviour. Cant hurt. So yes i would approach almost anyone. Unless i notice something off what can be harmful for me. Drug addict or something like that.
I think it is a more city living way of looking at things, yeah. As people have said ITT, unfortunately there are scenarios where helping out can have a bad result. I wish that wasn't true, though.
God Dayumm
Banned
Adults no. Kids HELL no. People would think I'm an amir0x or something
DrunkShogun
Member
Can't risk it at this moment. I'm a brown dude whose bald and got a beard. Best thing I could do would be to direct someone to talk to them. Might consider it if it's in a public place with cameras because then I've got evidence I'm not a bad person if people start throwing accusations.
One time I saw was riding the bus home when I saw a guy crying a few seats in front of me.
I'm kind of scared about any social situation due to my shyness, but I went over to him and luckily he was very polite and just told me what's wrong.
He was a manager at a supermarket and he had to fire a female employee. He felt so bad about it. So I told him that it's not his fault at all, that he had no choice but to fire her. He still felt bad about it, so I told him to not let get to him and stay strong.
I never told anyone about this, cause to me it would feel wrong to just "anecdote" his misery. He deserved discretion.
But since you asked and it's been years, I figured why not? STAY STRONG, KEEP YA HEAD UP.
I'm kind of scared about any social situation due to my shyness, but I went over to him and luckily he was very polite and just told me what's wrong.
He was a manager at a supermarket and he had to fire a female employee. He felt so bad about it. So I told him that it's not his fault at all, that he had no choice but to fire her. He still felt bad about it, so I told him to not let get to him and stay strong.
I never told anyone about this, cause to me it would feel wrong to just "anecdote" his misery. He deserved discretion.
But since you asked and it's been years, I figured why not? STAY STRONG, KEEP YA HEAD UP.
Kingpin Rogers
Member
I would cross the street to avoid them.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Depends on the situation/vibe I get. Some people you can tell they just want to be left alone, others seem obviously in distress. So, absolutely for kids, almost always for women unless I get the 'leave me alone' sense, and depends on the sit for guys. Guys more often don't want attention called to the fact that they're crying, so I'd need some pretty strong signs. Plus, I'm sorry to say, a couple of times I have asked/tried to help a guy it's been a scam or got weird/scary.
Mighty Chin
Banned
Always. I'm good like that.
Royce McCutcheon
Junior Member
Um...nah, that's dangerous lol. I got a lightskin cousin and I get looks when I take her out. Girl just had to come out pale as fuck. My favorite was a woman walking right up to her, ignoring me completely and asking if she was ok and needed any help. That one hurt.
Rubik8
Member
It really pisses me off that our society is so fucked that you feel like you act this way.
mhayes86
Member
As an adult male, I'm not sure if I'd approach a crying child in fear of being accused for something and the nearby father running up to deck me in the face.
A crying woman? Possibly if it actually looks like they're in distress.
A man? I'm not sure. My first impression is that they'd push you away if you try to approach.
A crying woman? Possibly if it actually looks like they're in distress.
A man? I'm not sure. My first impression is that they'd push you away if you try to approach.
TheExecutive
Member
Why wouldn't you approach a kid crying alone in a parking lot again?
Of course. Although, depending on the parking lot and race, sex, age of the cryer, I will stand further back.
Because a bunch of pedo-assholes have ruined it for the rest of us.
Because a bunch of pedo-assholes have ruined it for the rest of us.
Wow, most of those answers make me glad I live in Canada. (40 year old white guy if you wanted to know). Where I live it's pretty normal to ask someone who seems in distress if they are ok and need help.
Of course I would ask the person crying if they needed help regardless than they are a man, woman or child...
I have came across some of those situation several time in the past. Lost boy looking for his parent (which we found a few minute later). Usually if it's an adult you get 'I'm ok, I don't need any help but thank for asking' though I did get 'Mind your own business' once which I though was rude but left it at that.
It's very safe here. I would not be afraid to approach a random stranger (man, woman or child) in fear of trap, retaliation or random aggression. I certainly would not be afraid the cop would arrest me or give me a hard time, they tend to be cooperative and helpful here...
Of course I would ask the person crying if they needed help regardless than they are a man, woman or child...
I have came across some of those situation several time in the past. Lost boy looking for his parent (which we found a few minute later). Usually if it's an adult you get 'I'm ok, I don't need any help but thank for asking' though I did get 'Mind your own business' once which I though was rude but left it at that.
It's very safe here. I would not be afraid to approach a random stranger (man, woman or child) in fear of trap, retaliation or random aggression. I certainly would not be afraid the cop would arrest me or give me a hard time, they tend to be cooperative and helpful here...
Depends on the circumstances. Is it night or day? Are there any other persons near by? To be honest I would only ask the kid if everything is okay. Adults can mostly help themself. I've ignored a crying girl on street in the past when I walked home at 4AM. My only defense for this shitty behavior (and it's the only moment in my life I wish I could correct despite many other failures) is that I was super high from smoking weed the whole night with a friend and I became a little paranoid like "That's a trick, someone is waiting there in the dark corner, just go along".
Still doesn't change the fact that I felt like shit on the next morning (and not cuz of da weed)
Still doesn't change the fact that I felt like shit on the next morning (and not cuz of da weed)
Inyourprime
Member
Basically what I'd do as well. I might see things differently if I were in a different country.
Tevious
Member
I was walking home maybe a month ago and saw a little girl crying/screaming in the street. I don't speak the local language here well enough, so I didn't see how I could be of any help. She didn't look hurt, though. An elderly woman noticed her too and went over to the girl, so I let her deal with it. The girl was probably just having a temper tantrum and her parents were probably inside the building she was in front of.
There was an article recently where some guy found a lost girl and was trying to help her find her parents and then he got assaulted by the dad and accused of being a pedo on his Facebook. Sometimes doing the right thing will get you into trouble, depending on where you are.
There was an article recently where some guy found a lost girl and was trying to help her find her parents and then he got assaulted by the dad and accused of being a pedo on his Facebook. Sometimes doing the right thing will get you into trouble, depending on where you are.
family_guy
Member
As a black man, I would stop to ask if they are okay...assuming I'm dressed like I work on Wall Street. Perception is everything.
The Albatross
Member
Unless they look strung out, yes.
And yeah, depends on circumstances. If it's in the afternoon in a normal place, sure. If it's 12:30am outside of a bar... probably not. I'd probably approach them by saying, "Hey, do you need help?" I feel like that's usually a disarming way to approach a stranger who might be in duress.
And yeah, depends on circumstances. If it's in the afternoon in a normal place, sure. If it's 12:30am outside of a bar... probably not. I'd probably approach them by saying, "Hey, do you need help?" I feel like that's usually a disarming way to approach a stranger who might be in duress.
entremet
Member
I get the reasoning, but this is a sad sentiment regarding current society.
EdibleKnife
Member
Yep. I remember this. I might have to hold myself back but I do think I'd resist trying to help anyone. Man, woman or child. Especially, as people already mentioned: as a black person. Even looking like a lanky nerd, police and society's relation to my race, in general, makes me fear for my actual life in a situation like this. Like Mammoth Jones said, all it takes is one parent like in the article or one disturbed man or woman to accuse me of being a kidnapper, murderer, mugger, rapist, etc. were I'll be lucky if I get a quick death by a trigger happy cop rather than the alternative of being painted as a villain. I'm willing to call 911 or find a whole group of other people to help out but helping out on my own is out of the question. And I'm the guy who talked about helping a kid wash his hands around when I first started posting.
Yeah, I'm generally pretty fearless when it comes to getting into peoples' business like that. Often times people tell me to go away, but sometimes people really appreciate someone checking in with them and showing some basic care. Like especially if someone is distraught and having a hard time believing in the world, a small act of kindness can really help them recover a little.
And especially with women, the possibility of abuse or violence is pretty high. Who knows what she just experienced. I'm going to at least ask if she's okay/safe or if she needs to use a phone.
And especially with women, the possibility of abuse or violence is pretty high. Who knows what she just experienced. I'm going to at least ask if she's okay/safe or if she needs to use a phone.
Honestly, this shit right here 100%. Let the police or an employee at that business handle it. That's a good way to ruin your life right there trying to do something nice.
Emperor_Uriel
Member
Even as someone who works with kids, I would not in America. Our society has become hopelessly paranoid. Our fears have been stoked to the point where they inform our every decision. Our social skills are on life support.
The article mentions the notion that we're "exchanging trust for safety," but it's more than that. What we're really doing is sacrificing trust, community, warmth, affection, care and optimism for the illusion of safety. All of the research, the peer-reviewed data and statistics, shows that (when it comes to child abuse) the average stranger is far less likely to harm a child than his/her own parents. That they're infinitely more likely to die in a car crash with their parent driving than they are to be kidnapped.
There's zero logic to this, just pure irrational fear. The sooner this is labeled profiling and discrimination and victims start suing the police/their accusers for false accusations and reports, the sooner we can get back to behaving like decent people without hesitation. This is some "young black male in a convenient store/arab male on a plane" level bullshit.
The article mentions the notion that we're "exchanging trust for safety," but it's more than that. What we're really doing is sacrificing trust, community, warmth, affection, care and optimism for the illusion of safety. All of the research, the peer-reviewed data and statistics, shows that (when it comes to child abuse) the average stranger is far less likely to harm a child than his/her own parents. That they're infinitely more likely to die in a car crash with their parent driving than they are to be kidnapped.
There's zero logic to this, just pure irrational fear. The sooner this is labeled profiling and discrimination and victims start suing the police/their accusers for false accusations and reports, the sooner we can get back to behaving like decent people without hesitation. This is some "young black male in a convenient store/arab male on a plane" level bullshit.
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