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[maxcriden]

Miles's thread When Men Cry reminded me that I wanted to make a thread about this broader social subject since we haven't had one in a few years and I was curious if the general thinking has changed or firmed up in one direction or another. I was also reminded when coming across an article on Rocket News 24 recently, titled "Why deciding whether or not to help a crying girl is complicated in Japan."

So, to paraphrase from a couple OPs from the last times this was asked:

Would you approach a crying man, woman or child? Is it dependent on gender?

What would stop you from asking her if they are ok? Are you afraid he or she would be instantly scared of you because you are a stranger?

That someone could be someone you know or a stranger. That someone can also be someone you like, or dislike. Would you react differently if a child was crying or an elderly? What if your parents are crying or siblings?

Previous threads:

What would you do if you saw someone crying?

You see a woman crying in the parking lot, do you ask her if she's ok?

 

[Wafflecakes]

Nope, unless it is like super extreme like an obvious injury.

Might make exceptions for a toddler or someone who is very elderly.


Edit: Probably related to my own personality since I am extremely independent and rarely show much emotion in public. I would hate if someone came and asked me what was wrong.

 

[tearsintherain]

Yes, i'd approach and ask if they are ok and if they need any help. What the fuck kind of person wouldn't do that?

Asking someone a question doesn't make you a rapist, a pedophile, etc.

 

[-Plasma Reus-]

It depends.
As a black man, I will not go near a crying woman or child unless they are black. A man, sure.

 

[13ruce]

I would atleast ask what's up you never know and i doubt they will kill ya.

 

[M52B28]

Sure, why not? I've done it before, and I'd do it again. Now, if they show signs that they don't want any help, or they're not wanting to talk, then I let them go.

It depends.
As a black man, I will not go near a crying woman or child unless they are black. A man, sure.

LOL

At that point, we don't know if they're crying even more because they're sad, or that they don't know if we're going to rob them or not ahahaha.

 

[Syrus]

Id like to think I would but in reality I ost likely will just keep doing what im doing.

Kind of a shame really

 

[Puck Beaverton]

no

oddly I would like someone to do that for me though if I was crying in public

huh...

 

[Mahonay]

Living in New York, hell no.

Only if it's a child by themselves.

 

[BronsonLee]

I run away

 

[Mesoian]

Yes, i'd approach and ask if they are ok and if they need any help. What the fuck kind of person wouldn't do that?

Asking someone a question doesn't make you a rapist, a pedophile, etc.

Most of them.

And you're a fool if you believe otherwise.

I'd ask, but at the same time, I'm not going to pry for information if the most I get is, "naw i'm fine".

Living in New York, hell no.

Only if it's a child by themselves.

My time in New York made me pretty numb to other people's problems as well.

It's called, "being on my new york shit" for a reason .

 

[rhandino]

Nope.

And not because I have a cold heart that revels in human suffering but in my city seeing someone crying in public could very well mean that its a trap to mug me or worse.

So yeah.

Even worse if its a kid, don't want people to think that I am going to steal it or something x_x

 

[spindashing]

It depends.
As a black man, I will not go near a crying woman or child unless they are black. A man, sure.

I was going to post the same thing. But, if it's a child crying and they are alone, I will call the police.

Living in New York, hell no.

Only if it's a child by themselves.

Definitely.

 

[psaman17]

If it's a man, no.

If it's a woman, maybe but leaning towards no.

If it`s a child, hell no. Never approach a kid alone. Call the cops if you think it's serious.

 

[PeakPointMatrix]

I'll always remember when I was 11 years old on the way home from school on a public bus in the Bronx. Some dude came in and basically started weeping in his seat. A few older women nearby, very concerned turned to him and asked if everything was okay.

"my girlfriend dumped me" squeaks out.

The two elderly women immediately rolled their eyes, exhaling a quick "you'll be fine".

Hey but they at least asked!

 

[kaioshade]

Man, no, maybe depending on the situation
Woman, no, maybe depending on the situation
Child, HELL NO. Never. I am a black male. I know not to approach children. Got burned once, never again

 

[RiggityRice]

I remember a time when I approached a woman who was crying on the the curb, like bawling her eyes out and I ask her if she was ok and from the distance I heard " get away from her asshole!!" Her friend rushed over and I said " all I did was ask if she's ok? How am I an asshole?" She responded by telling me "all guys are assholes" turns out they were drunk as fuck, and the dude with em came over and told me her bf broke up with her..and that was one of those experiences that happens on Sunset Blvd on a Saturday night.

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

Yes for women and children, unlikely for a guy.

 

[ebullientprism]

Kids yes. Grown ups no.

 

[Prophaniti]

Kids cry constantly. Why would I approach someone else's child and ask them questions? Unless they had an obvious injury I wouldn't. If I had some really bad feeling I'd flag down a woman and ask her to check on the kid.


Edit: oh crap. I totally helped a run away once. She was hiding behind cars in the parking lot at my doctors office. She was blatantly hiding from someone, which is super concerning, so I did approach her. Turns out she was getting a shot, hated needles, and bailed out the window when the doctor left the room. Total boss move lmao
Her grandma who took her called the police and the kid was trying to not get in trouble. I just flagged down the sheriff.

 

[Trickster]

Yes for kids who are too young to be there on their own, no to everyone else

 

[Abilidebob]

It depends. Am I in the US? If yes, I'd nope the fuck way from there. I don't wanna get shot or arrested or beaten.

 

[jwk94]

Man, no, maybe depending on the situation
Woman, no, maybe depending on the situation
Child, HELL NO. Never. I am a black male. I know not to approach children. Got burned once, never again

Definitely wouldn't approach a kid, but I might approach a man or woman, just depending on what's going on.

 

[ExplodingKetchup]

Sometimes?

 

[FuuRe]

Holy shit your answers guys

I'd ask anyone who is crying if he/she is ok and/or needs something, regardless of sex, age, race or whatever.

How could you guys be so disengaged from people's emotions?

 

[Bahorel]

I was crying in an airport once and a woman came over and hugged me and gave me a flower. It was nice.

 

[Viewt]

If they look like they're in immediate danger or in need of help, then yes. Particularly if they look hurt.

But if they're just silently crying to themselves, then no. It's not my business and I wouldn't want to pry.

 

[jwk94]

I'll always remember when I was 11 years old on the way home from school on a public bus in the Bronx. Some dude came in and basically started weeping in his seat. A few older women nearby, very concerned turned to him and asked if everything was okay.

"my girlfriend dumped me" squeaks out.

The two elderly women immediately rolled their eyes, exhaling a quick "you'll be fine".

Hey but they at least asked!

Damn, that's rude as hell.

 

[Linkark07]

An adult, never. It is their own business and it isn't my place to ask them what happened.

A child, probably. Since children cry a lot, it means something bad could have happened to them.

 

[SomewhatGroovy]

See, Max; this is why you shouldn't limit your gameplay experience to family oriented games only. I've learned from playing games like Red Dead Redemption, for example, that anytime you approach someone crying, you get jumped by a gang as soon as you get close to the bait.

The answer to your question is no.

 

[jwk94]

Holy shit your answers guys

I'd ask anyone who is crying if he/she is ok and/or needs something, regardless of sex, age, race or whatever.

How could you guys be so disengaged from people's emotions?

As a black dude, I tend to approach these types of things with caution. I wouldn't approach a child because I'm afraid that could go bad really fast.

 

[HawksWinStanley]

Nope, it's none of my business.

Unless someone is in distress and actively calling for help while crying, then I'll call 911. But I won't approach or touch anyone. I've read about too many lawsuits filed against good samaritans doing the right thing.

 

[jwk94]

An adult, never. It is their own business and it isn't my place to ask them what happened.

A child, probably. Since children cry a lot, it means something bad could have happened to them.

I couldn't just say a blanket no to all adults, though. You never know if that person just needs someone to be there for them in that moment. You could prevent a suicide or something.

 

[E92 M3]

If you see a child by themselves, call the police.

 

[Maintenance]

Nope, going my own way. Might be a scam, might be a bait, might be a thousand things that might ruin my day or even my life.

Worst of all, children. Not getting near that with a 10 ft pole.

Not a problem with empathy, mind you, but I don't trust random strangers. At all. I would absolutely approach a friend of a friend or a friend of mine if they were crying.

 

[the_firewithin]

It's a trap.

 

[ViciousDS]

if im by myself without my sister or some other female......fuck no


thats instant calls for someone to say you kidnapped or did some shit to their child.

My sister at least has a medical degree for clearance to get off some bullshit, some crazy ass parents would pull

 

[Like the hat?]

Child, yes. Adult, probably not.

 

[BronsonLee]

Holy shit your answers guys

I'd ask anyone who is crying if he/she is ok and/or needs something, regardless of sex, age, race or whatever.

How could you guys be so disengaged from people's emotions?

One time someone was crying near me so I asked them what was wrong but then they hit me with a Diamond Cutter and then popped the hoodie up and oh shit it was Diamond Dallas Page he got me again

 

[Wiseblood]

 

[Permanently A]

I think I'd do it for a lost looking child - not sure about an adult, I'm not really good at comforting people.

 

[The Shadow]

Depends on whether I was by myself or with my family. By myself, sure. If it was something I can help them out with, I'd help. If it wasn't something I could help them out with, or I felt like it was a scam, I'd tell them, "Sorry, I can't do that" and move on.

Easy peasy.

 

[Kill3r7]

Depends on the state. My instinct is to go help but a lifetime in the tristate area has taught me otherwise.

 

[psychowave]

No because I'm a woman and I don't have a death wish.

 

[Shadowhelper]

As a non white male, hell fucking no. Especially not a child. Quick way to get lynched.

 

[toneroni]

Living in New York, hell no.

Only if it's a child by themselves.

yep, its a setup.

 

[SoRuffShoNuff]

Hell no. As a black man the last thing I want to do is to be seen standing near an alone crying child. If they are adults I'm assuming they would rob me.

 

[TheOohChild]

I would help a kid out if they looked like they needed help, but I couldn't care less about an adult crying in public.

 

[Maintenance]

"You did the right thing, son"

 

[stuminus3]

Depends on the context.