TimeEffect
Member
If you agreed to the wedding and the bride paid, youre a bad friend if you bail
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Sports match or wedding?
- Thread starter TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
- Start date
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
Skellig Gra
Member
Eh if you pay her back its fine.
PeskyToaster
Member
There will be other weddings.
sixteen-bit
Member
Wedding imo. Nothing better than getting drunk on someone else's dime.
GeordieMark
Member
I think the folks who bailed maybe should make a contribution to compensate the bride and groom.
If I were getting married and a bunch of my guests were missing a semi-final to attend my wedding I'd feel bad for them and couldn't let it happen. Amateur sport might not seem important to outsiders but people invest a lot of time and effort and having a chance to play in a final is a big deal when you've worked hard to get there. It's a huge ask for them to forfeit to go to a wedding. You can have a wedding without some of the guests, but you can't play the semi without a team.
LumpOfCole
Member
There was a Nevada courthouse involved earlier that day too. It was pretty quick, cost was relatively cheap - I dont even remember. It was something like a couple hundred bucks for the license.
perfectchaos007
Member
I've been to weddings with a "cash bar"
Basileus777
Member
It's bad planning first and foremost, but how shitty it is really depends on how close the friendship is. Though if they did RSVP, then they fucked up and there really isn't a good excuse.
ClosingADoor
Member
Depends on the game, depends on how much they would need me, and how much of a chance we have to win, and if this is a yearly thing or not.
But if you don't show last minute outside of some accident or such, contact the couple and offer to pay your share for the booking at least. She's out 2000 for about 18 people? Have everyone pitch in and make up the cost if that game is so important to you.
But if you don't show last minute outside of some accident or such, contact the couple and offer to pay your share for the booking at least. She's out 2000 for about 18 people? Have everyone pitch in and make up the cost if that game is so important to you.
Marty Chinn
Member
People seem to be really hung up on the RSVP as if it's a unbreakable commitment. I personally feel that it is okay to break the commitment if the conditions are important enough even if there was a foreseeable possibility of not being able to attend. Should someone really avoid going to a wedding for the unlikely probability that something may happen? I don't think that alternative is good either.
For example, a friend of mine planned their wedding within three weeks of my wife giving birth. They certainly couldn't have planned around that since it wasn't known at the time when they planned the wedding and booked the place. Should I have committed to skipping the wedding on the off chance that my wife could possibly go into labor early? That seems extreme too. This is a situation where we knew the baby was coming, there was a low probability of her going into labor, but still possible, and an important life event. The way some of you make it sound, unless I know for sure 100% I can make it, I shouldn't RSVP and miss out. And before someone asks, yes I do think the sporting event seems to be a big enough of a deal to not skip out on based on what has been presented about the scale and scope of the league. Also before someone brings it up, I've already pointed out I think the guests should pay for their cost of the room.
Basileus777
Member
Child birth is kind of a different affair than an amateur sports event. I don't think anyone would fault someone for missing a wedding because their SO was in labor.
Marty Chinn
Member
A large stadium with a crowds of up to 70k people seems like a pretty big deal to me for the whole team to forfeit.
Also, what if she was no longer in labor? Like say she gave birth a day or two before? I still don't think I'd go.
Basileus777
Member
I still think it's shitty to RSVP with the knowledge that a large group of people may not honor that because of an event that you have prior knowledge of. 16-18 wedding guests not showing up probably cost the couple a lot of money that could/should have been prevented. They owe them a huge gift in compensation.
The child thing is fine. That's 2 people with an important life event, not a huge group with larger financial consequences over an event probably dated months in advance. That should not be a last minute cancellation.
Skellig Gra
Member
It's only shitty if they don't reimburse her.
Marty Chinn
Member
Okay, let's say it wasn't giving birth though. Let's say I RSVP'd and then my kid got offered a once in a lifetime experience that we didn't know until afterward. I'd break the commitment still because of the importance to her. I think if the event is important enough, it's totally understandable to break the commitment. For these people, this clearly falls under that criteria and it could be a once in a lifetime event. The people planning the wedding had to know this was a possibility too. Plus it sounds like their grief isn't with their friends but with the hotel because they want to break the contract that the signed and knew well in advance of what was their obligation was.
People clinging to the RSVP sound more like they just don't understand the importance of the event at hand that caused them to break the commitment and would rather hand waive it off.
BigWeather
Member
...the semi-finals - the very semi-finals, mind you!
Basileus777
Member
I tend to agree.
This analogy doesn't work because the problem here is the scale. If you and 20 people had to cancel, then I think you owe the wedding couple something because you likely just fucked them over. If 2 people can't make it then that's just a "oh we're sad they can't see our wedding," if 18 people cancel it is "oh shit all our plans and expenses were based on a number we aren't going to be close to."
Marty Chinn
Member
And I said they should reimburse them for the room numerous times.
We also shouldn't be letting the wedding party off the hook for inviting a whole team and knowing they had a contractual obligation to a large amount of rooms. That's a risk they took knowing what could happen when they booked the place.
Finale Fireworker
Member
If you RSVP and then don't go, and it's not due to some kind of tragedy or emergency, you're a jerk. You are absolutely free to refuse any invitation and you don't need an excuse. Whether you have another event or you simply just don't want to go, it is no harm to respectfullly decline. But when you tell someone you're going, and they plan or pay for you to attend, you're being selfish and disrespectful. You have an obligation - a willful obligation you agreed to - and you owe it to the host.
(But my own personal take away from this is never be friends with sports fans!)
(But my own personal take away from this is never be friends with sports fans!)
Basileus777
Member
Well it wasn't brought up in our dialogue.
I started this off blaming the poor wedding planning so I'm in agreement here.
sixteen-bit
Member
go to the sports match to spite them