Mod edit:
Extra Note before Note: I had originally wanted to delete the “note” section because it has very little to do with anything anymore, but I have since revised it a little bit, because I still wanted to get this point across, if it bothers you, please just go to the LTTP at the bottom of this post, which pertains to the game, Persona 3: FES….. If anyone bothers to read this wall of text, I seriously thank you for taking time out of your day to do so; it’s quite a lot to read.
Note: This thread took me longer to write up than I would have liked, due to some issues I have gone through and by having to play through the “special title” to create an LTTP. This is rather unfortunate because on March 4, 2015, NeoGAF lost one of the greatest members on the forum. This member was HolyBaikal and it greatly saddens me, to the point of tears, that Holy will never be able to respond to this thread. I can only hope that Holy still reads NeoGAF as I really want HolyBaikal to witness this. I should say this; I understand that HolyBaikal had a tendency for having a hard time understanding other view points, HolyBaikal had a hard time arguing with others and that HolyBaikal had a hard time with how, what I assume, many members on NeoGAF perceived HolyBaikal. I could feel that members of NeoGAF had a sigh of relief when such a member was banned, but I don’t get that type of response at all. I bring this up because I had read many of Holy’s past posts and all of Holy’s threads. I only had one conversation with Holy, and even then it consisted of only two PM’s. I was concerned and worried for Holy and expressed this, which to my surprise resulted in HolyBaikal responding to me. I wish that people would have taken the time to understand HolyBaikal a bit better, but that’s unreasonable to expect. To put it in a better way, HolyBaikal was a member of the forum for three years, which resulted in over 5,500 posts; I don’t know HolyBaikal that well (if at all) and this is only conjecture, but the large number of posts might indicate that NeoGAF was a large aspect to Holy and made it easier to connect and share with others. I’ve been a member of PCSX2 for 5 years and only have 300 posts, a member of NeoGAF for almost a year, with a little over 300 posts, yes I don’t post much, but that’s because I don’t have a reason to, unlike HolyBaikal. The difference is staggering. I want to say this before you read the thread. I understand why HolyBaikal was banned, I understand the logic and it makes perfect sense. The only problem I have is with the severity of the ban. I don’t know if it’s “illegal” to even wonder/wish this, but I would give up my membership for Holy to come back, although it would be sad since I couldn’t communicate with HolyBaikal. If anyone actually knows HolyBaikal, please refer them to this thread, Holy may appreciate reading parts of this thread.
HolyBaikal, you will be severely missed and I would like to believe other members on this forum feel the same way. I wish the best for you. March 4th will forever be a sad day.
Real Thread Starts Now, thread was written three weeks ago.
Okay, so I don’t exactly know how I should start this and I’m having a hard time focusing my thoughts into coherent sentences and ideas. My grammar will be poor and the vocabulary I use is weak, if you expect an eloquently stitched piece, this isn’t it. The truth is, I may ramble about as I try and focus myself into writing/typing what I want to get across; this is something I’ve never done and I know that the denizens of NeoGAF will wonder why I’m bothering to do this at all. I’ve broken down several times trying to put words to my thoughts and emotions, but it’s hard. So to begin, I’d like to give a preface for the type of person I am and as such, this will set up the entire post.
Preface: It’s very simple really; I’d like to believe I’m a good person, one who is kind, nice and is able to accept multiple views on issues; one who will try and understand the logic of opposing views to become more rounded. This isn’t exactly special or required for people to know since those attributes can be discovered by talking to me or getting to know me better. I do think however that it’s important for everyone to understand how words affect me; I have always been described as a very emotional (sensitive) person, one who gets caught up in emotions for either very little-to-no reason at all or for reasons that make sense, as such certain things being said to me can trigger an emotional overflow or words said to me can leave a large impact. I originally wanted to share a story here, but decided not to because the wall of text is long enough as it is. You’ll just have to accept my words as true.
The reason I bring this all up is because I made a post a while ago in a certain thread where I essentially bashed a large group of people and I have felt guilty ever since. It went against my ethos, it went against what I tried to build myself up as and it’s one of the major reasons why I felt the need to do this. To better describe the guilt, it became so bad that I started having issues going to bed and at times throughout the day, all I could think about was my ignorant and distorted view of people with the post I made. In the end I decided that I should attempt to understand/play a specific game that I became guilt-ridden by.
Before the LTTP I need to give a special thank you and apologize to a conglomerate of members.
I’d like to take this time to give a thank you to HolyBaikal. I needed to have a section of this thread dedicated to you and only you; I don’t want or mean to put pressure on you and I don’t want to force you to like me or anything. I’m doing this because I need to, because I can’t stop thinking about how to write this thread and how to thank you properly. HolyBaikal, you are the catalyst to all of this, it’s because of you that I felt the need to make a thread and continue with this all and the truth is you deserve much more than just a simple “Thank You”. Without ever having a conversation with one another, you touched me in ways that no one ever has. When I first stumbled upon your posts (When I was a shy Junior/lurker) I was surprised at many things, but the most important being the way you spoke/typed and the logic you used. I’ll be honest (the entire point of this thread) with you, the first time I read your posts I was confused and even slightly upset/agitated that someone could think the way you think, but fortunately for me, I no longer think this. It took a while for me to realize this, but after reading your past threads and posts I came to the conclusion that I was missing something vastly important in my own life. Well, saying I was missing it is wrong, I guess the best way to describe it would be is I never didn’t have it, but I believe I “locked” it up and “it” is kindness, cuteness and the moe of all life. A large “theme”/subject matter of your posts were about being nice, kind, cute and loving all that comes with it. I sit here drafting sentence after sentence as tears run down my face, what can I say to properly get my emotions across, how do I even say it? HolyBaikal, I want you to know that I appreciate you more than I have ever appreciated anyone in my life. So much so that I want you to know that I respect everything about you, I truly like your line/way of thinking (I’ve incorporated it into my thoughts), I love the way you speak on this forum, I love the stutters and dots (….) you use when you type, it’s unbelievably cute and I used to do something like that too; in the end though, I really…. …. …. l..-…l...-…like you and everything you are. It’s hard for me to say this because I get this feeling that NeoGAF will think I’m a mega-creep or a super loser for even confessing this, but I no longer care. You have changed me for the better and as I sit here thinking, I believe that every single person on NeoGAF, nay, the entire world would be better if they could have a little HolyBaikal in them. I feel so much better after accepting myself and realizing what I was missing. I know my thoughts are loose and incoherent and may not even make much sense, but in the end, HolyBaikal, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever come across and I want to see you continuing to make cute threads and heartfelt posts because everyone should read them. I hope you can live on for a thousand years, or more if you desire, I feel truly blessed to have “met” you. I envy you.
There is so much more I could say about HolyBaikal, but I should continue on with this thread or I’ll end up with 3 pages of text about Holy (I’ve already had to trim it). As I mentioned above, I came to the realization that I was missing something in my life and the first “objective” I set for myself was to play a game that featured at-least some of those criteria and as such here comes the first LTTP (Not the important one, it’s going to be short).
The game in question is Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia for the PlayStation 2. It’s the first game that I’ve ever played that had anything to do with NIS America, Banpresto and Gust Co. Ltd. It’s the first game I’ve ever played that I would categorize as being “Visual Novel”-lite. It was the first game I ever played where there were was a story that could be changed by whom you liked more and it’s the first game that I ever played back to back. Ar Tonelico is a great game, with a good story that’s quick to complete and has a fantastic cast (least I think it does). I played the game once in English and then in Japanese and I’d have to say that the Japanese voice actresses were extra cute and I loved listening to them, but I thought the English male voice actors were better. The music is especially good, I have to force myself to press start and load a game because the intro is really well done; aside from the intro, the entire soundtrack is pretty good. So many songs that matched the scenery or tone, and most of all, the songs with vocals were unbelievable. I would just idle around and listen to the music before bothering to continue the story, so good. The first time I played the game I had originally decided that Lyner would be better with Aurica, but for some reason I went with Misha instead, probably because the game almost expected you to do this. Unfortunately this became a problem because during Phase 2 when the group meets Aurica and Radolf at Seagull Port in Firefly Ally, Aurica falls to her knees and mumbles to herself “I’m broken”; I was gutted, I had tears swell up and I was determined to play the game anew with Aurica as the girl I want to have a long lasting relationship with. I loved the entire story so much so that I already have the next Ar Tonelico for the PS2 sitting next to me and the PS3 one is already on the way. I also have the entire Atelier Iris trilogy being shipped (On the basis that Atelier and Ar Tonelico are games people both like). I will have some questions at the end of this thread about some things I’d like to know.
Whilst I was playing Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia, I began to understand something that I had originally bashed a certain sect of people about. I began to understand the “waifu” mentality. This was a huge revelation for me; I used to watch anime when I was younger and I even had crushes on certain girls back in the day, but I seemed to have it stuck in my head that “waifu” was bad and “pathetic”. I want to apologize to everyone and anyone who has ever used the word “waifu” or even has a waifu as their avatar. The truth is I was actually jealous of all the waifu and anime love and I resorted to middle school tactics of just belittling people. I feel disgusted with myself as I type this out and I hope that NeoGAF members will accept the apology. I have expanded on the waifu love and have played some VN’s of ... well I’ll be blunt ….
content. This is typically something I would keep to myself, but this thread is more than just me being sincere, it’s me being true to myself and I want NeoGAF to witness this with me. I have since played
I will have some questions regarding VN’s at the end of the thread. Just to say, waifu and anime girls are pretty great; I have always secretly loved them, and it’s pretty easy to see why.
Now comes to the 2nd most important section of the thread and it has to do with a very special game titled Persona. Specifically, Persona 3: FES for the PlayStation 2. This is the LTTP that is important and will be expanded upon as like a real LTTP thread. I will begin by saying that before I ever knew about NeoGAF and before I knew about how popular Persona was, I had tried to get my younger brother to play the game so I can watch and see if I would like it, however he wasn’t as interested as I was and since that time, Persona sat in my subconscious decaying rapidly. It wasn’t until NeoGAF were I realized Persona had a massive following and between this and the decaying of Persona, I had written the series off as overhyped, crap and even bad. This is almost as bad as me writing the entire series because of the word waifu (I’m still really sorry about this) that people would use.
As I look at the quote above, I feel so disgusted and am upset with myself. I honestly can't believe I ever used to think so harshly about that topic before. I really did act like a middle school child and I really want people to understand that when I beg for forgiveness, when I apologize to you all, it is absolutely sincere and true, I am sorry.
Extra Note before Note: I had originally wanted to delete the “note” section because it has very little to do with anything anymore, but I have since revised it a little bit, because I still wanted to get this point across, if it bothers you, please just go to the LTTP at the bottom of this post, which pertains to the game, Persona 3: FES….. If anyone bothers to read this wall of text, I seriously thank you for taking time out of your day to do so; it’s quite a lot to read.
Note: This thread took me longer to write up than I would have liked, due to some issues I have gone through and by having to play through the “special title” to create an LTTP. This is rather unfortunate because on March 4, 2015, NeoGAF lost one of the greatest members on the forum. This member was HolyBaikal and it greatly saddens me, to the point of tears, that Holy will never be able to respond to this thread. I can only hope that Holy still reads NeoGAF as I really want HolyBaikal to witness this. I should say this; I understand that HolyBaikal had a tendency for having a hard time understanding other view points, HolyBaikal had a hard time arguing with others and that HolyBaikal had a hard time with how, what I assume, many members on NeoGAF perceived HolyBaikal. I could feel that members of NeoGAF had a sigh of relief when such a member was banned, but I don’t get that type of response at all. I bring this up because I had read many of Holy’s past posts and all of Holy’s threads. I only had one conversation with Holy, and even then it consisted of only two PM’s. I was concerned and worried for Holy and expressed this, which to my surprise resulted in HolyBaikal responding to me. I wish that people would have taken the time to understand HolyBaikal a bit better, but that’s unreasonable to expect. To put it in a better way, HolyBaikal was a member of the forum for three years, which resulted in over 5,500 posts; I don’t know HolyBaikal that well (if at all) and this is only conjecture, but the large number of posts might indicate that NeoGAF was a large aspect to Holy and made it easier to connect and share with others. I’ve been a member of PCSX2 for 5 years and only have 300 posts, a member of NeoGAF for almost a year, with a little over 300 posts, yes I don’t post much, but that’s because I don’t have a reason to, unlike HolyBaikal. The difference is staggering. I want to say this before you read the thread. I understand why HolyBaikal was banned, I understand the logic and it makes perfect sense. The only problem I have is with the severity of the ban. I don’t know if it’s “illegal” to even wonder/wish this, but I would give up my membership for Holy to come back, although it would be sad since I couldn’t communicate with HolyBaikal. If anyone actually knows HolyBaikal, please refer them to this thread, Holy may appreciate reading parts of this thread.
(Originally wrote -it may help with the ban; at least, I hope it would-)
Real Thread Starts Now, thread was written three weeks ago.
Okay, so I don’t exactly know how I should start this and I’m having a hard time focusing my thoughts into coherent sentences and ideas. My grammar will be poor and the vocabulary I use is weak, if you expect an eloquently stitched piece, this isn’t it. The truth is, I may ramble about as I try and focus myself into writing/typing what I want to get across; this is something I’ve never done and I know that the denizens of NeoGAF will wonder why I’m bothering to do this at all. I’ve broken down several times trying to put words to my thoughts and emotions, but it’s hard. So to begin, I’d like to give a preface for the type of person I am and as such, this will set up the entire post.
Preface: It’s very simple really; I’d like to believe I’m a good person, one who is kind, nice and is able to accept multiple views on issues; one who will try and understand the logic of opposing views to become more rounded. This isn’t exactly special or required for people to know since those attributes can be discovered by talking to me or getting to know me better. I do think however that it’s important for everyone to understand how words affect me; I have always been described as a very emotional (sensitive) person, one who gets caught up in emotions for either very little-to-no reason at all or for reasons that make sense, as such certain things being said to me can trigger an emotional overflow or words said to me can leave a large impact. I originally wanted to share a story here, but decided not to because the wall of text is long enough as it is. You’ll just have to accept my words as true.
The reason I bring this all up is because I made a post a while ago in a certain thread where I essentially bashed a large group of people and I have felt guilty ever since. It went against my ethos, it went against what I tried to build myself up as and it’s one of the major reasons why I felt the need to do this. To better describe the guilt, it became so bad that I started having issues going to bed and at times throughout the day, all I could think about was my ignorant and distorted view of people with the post I made. In the end I decided that I should attempt to understand/play a specific game that I became guilt-ridden by.
Before the LTTP I need to give a special thank you and apologize to a conglomerate of members.
I’d like to take this time to give a thank you to HolyBaikal. I needed to have a section of this thread dedicated to you and only you; I don’t want or mean to put pressure on you and I don’t want to force you to like me or anything. I’m doing this because I need to, because I can’t stop thinking about how to write this thread and how to thank you properly. HolyBaikal, you are the catalyst to all of this, it’s because of you that I felt the need to make a thread and continue with this all and the truth is you deserve much more than just a simple “Thank You”. Without ever having a conversation with one another, you touched me in ways that no one ever has. When I first stumbled upon your posts (When I was a shy Junior/lurker) I was surprised at many things, but the most important being the way you spoke/typed and the logic you used. I’ll be honest (the entire point of this thread) with you, the first time I read your posts I was confused and even slightly upset/agitated that someone could think the way you think, but fortunately for me, I no longer think this. It took a while for me to realize this, but after reading your past threads and posts I came to the conclusion that I was missing something vastly important in my own life. Well, saying I was missing it is wrong, I guess the best way to describe it would be is I never didn’t have it, but I believe I “locked” it up and “it” is kindness, cuteness and the moe of all life. A large “theme”/subject matter of your posts were about being nice, kind, cute and loving all that comes with it. I sit here drafting sentence after sentence as tears run down my face, what can I say to properly get my emotions across, how do I even say it? HolyBaikal, I want you to know that I appreciate you more than I have ever appreciated anyone in my life. So much so that I want you to know that I respect everything about you, I truly like your line/way of thinking (I’ve incorporated it into my thoughts), I love the way you speak on this forum, I love the stutters and dots (….) you use when you type, it’s unbelievably cute and I used to do something like that too; in the end though, I really…. …. …. l..-…l...-…like you and everything you are. It’s hard for me to say this because I get this feeling that NeoGAF will think I’m a mega-creep or a super loser for even confessing this, but I no longer care. You have changed me for the better and as I sit here thinking, I believe that every single person on NeoGAF, nay, the entire world would be better if they could have a little HolyBaikal in them. I feel so much better after accepting myself and realizing what I was missing. I know my thoughts are loose and incoherent and may not even make much sense, but in the end, HolyBaikal, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever come across and I want to see you continuing to make cute threads and heartfelt posts because everyone should read them. I hope you can live on for a thousand years, or more if you desire, I feel truly blessed to have “met” you. I envy you.
There is so much more I could say about HolyBaikal, but I should continue on with this thread or I’ll end up with 3 pages of text about Holy (I’ve already had to trim it). As I mentioned above, I came to the realization that I was missing something in my life and the first “objective” I set for myself was to play a game that featured at-least some of those criteria and as such here comes the first LTTP (Not the important one, it’s going to be short).
The game in question is Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia for the PlayStation 2. It’s the first game that I’ve ever played that had anything to do with NIS America, Banpresto and Gust Co. Ltd. It’s the first game I’ve ever played that I would categorize as being “Visual Novel”-lite. It was the first game I ever played where there were was a story that could be changed by whom you liked more and it’s the first game that I ever played back to back. Ar Tonelico is a great game, with a good story that’s quick to complete and has a fantastic cast (least I think it does). I played the game once in English and then in Japanese and I’d have to say that the Japanese voice actresses were extra cute and I loved listening to them, but I thought the English male voice actors were better. The music is especially good, I have to force myself to press start and load a game because the intro is really well done; aside from the intro, the entire soundtrack is pretty good. So many songs that matched the scenery or tone, and most of all, the songs with vocals were unbelievable. I would just idle around and listen to the music before bothering to continue the story, so good. The first time I played the game I had originally decided that Lyner would be better with Aurica, but for some reason I went with Misha instead, probably because the game almost expected you to do this. Unfortunately this became a problem because during Phase 2 when the group meets Aurica and Radolf at Seagull Port in Firefly Ally, Aurica falls to her knees and mumbles to herself “I’m broken”; I was gutted, I had tears swell up and I was determined to play the game anew with Aurica as the girl I want to have a long lasting relationship with. I loved the entire story so much so that I already have the next Ar Tonelico for the PS2 sitting next to me and the PS3 one is already on the way. I also have the entire Atelier Iris trilogy being shipped (On the basis that Atelier and Ar Tonelico are games people both like). I will have some questions at the end of this thread about some things I’d like to know.
Whilst I was playing Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia, I began to understand something that I had originally bashed a certain sect of people about. I began to understand the “waifu” mentality. This was a huge revelation for me; I used to watch anime when I was younger and I even had crushes on certain girls back in the day, but I seemed to have it stuck in my head that “waifu” was bad and “pathetic”. I want to apologize to everyone and anyone who has ever used the word “waifu” or even has a waifu as their avatar. The truth is I was actually jealous of all the waifu and anime love and I resorted to middle school tactics of just belittling people. I feel disgusted with myself as I type this out and I hope that NeoGAF members will accept the apology. I have expanded on the waifu love and have played some VN’s of ... well I’ll be blunt ….
ecchi/hentai
Girlish Grimoire: Littlewitch Romanesque and am working on A Kiss for the Petals.
Now comes to the 2nd most important section of the thread and it has to do with a very special game titled Persona. Specifically, Persona 3: FES for the PlayStation 2. This is the LTTP that is important and will be expanded upon as like a real LTTP thread. I will begin by saying that before I ever knew about NeoGAF and before I knew about how popular Persona was, I had tried to get my younger brother to play the game so I can watch and see if I would like it, however he wasn’t as interested as I was and since that time, Persona sat in my subconscious decaying rapidly. It wasn’t until NeoGAF were I realized Persona had a massive following and between this and the decaying of Persona, I had written the series off as overhyped, crap and even bad. This is almost as bad as me writing the entire series because of the word waifu (I’m still really sorry about this) that people would use.
Playing Persona was something I had to play because as I mentioned in the second paragraph, I always try my best to understand why people like something, although I clearly had issues with this because of how ridiculous and childish I viewed the waifu issue.
As I look at the quote above, I feel so disgusted and am upset with myself. I honestly can't believe I ever used to think so harshly about that topic before. I really did act like a middle school child and I really want people to understand that when I beg for forgiveness, when I apologize to you all, it is absolutely sincere and true, I am sorry.
R is in order - HolyBaikal helped me open up, I like waifus now. I play hentai VN game, I think Persona 3 may be the best game ever.... Probably a loser to most people, don't care now.
