OK, done eating and both hands freed. Lemme elaborate on why Strikers is so great.
First,
watch this video. It's the FMV opening to the game, which establishes the surprisingly dark and edgy atmosphere. You have brooding thunderstorms, scorched landscapes, exploding turf, driving wind and rain, bloodthirsty crowds, electric fences, and armor-clad warriors beating the
shit out of each other, hellfire in their eyes (literally)! They manage to maintain the Mario brand's playful charm while offering up this hard-hitting style that is SO refreshing after the bland homogeneity of just about every other Mario spinoff out there.
And this is maintained all throughout the game, with exceedingly clever stadium venues where, for example, referees watch the game from atop Blooper towers, or cows and tractors go tumbling by, Twister-style, as the game plays out atop a wind-whipped cliff. The loading screens rumble with ominous bass drums meant to evoke thunder, and the menus are depicted in futuristic holograms that make you think you're playing Mario vs. Judge Dredd (which I would totally fucking play, let me tell you).
The gameplay in Strikers is the real deal, too. You really feel each bone-crunching blow. Let me emphasize that phrase:
bone-crunching blow. I mean, you're shoulder-checking fools with generous hit-stun, into lightning barriers that then immolate them on the spot, while you steal away with the ball and blast it back and forth between your team, which can consist of any combination of Koopas, Hammer Bros, Dry Bones, Boos, Monty Moles, etc. They all have unique abilities, like Hammer Bros unleashing a flurry of hammers, Monty Moles burrowing to the goal, Boos absorbing the ball and phasing through the other team, etc. And then you have your captain, which can be anyone from Waluigi doing "suck it" crotch chops, to Daisy literally licking her finger and touching her ass and releasing steam. These guys wield superpowers, like Waluigi whipping the ball with a thorny black vine, or Daisy encasing her fist in spiky crystals before punching the ball in a Super Saiyan volley.
Then as the goaltender (Kritter, the Kremling), you point the Wiimote at the screen and tag each incoming ball with pinpoint precision, striking down all that you can during the Charge Shot sequences that can net the enemy multiple points if you're not careful. It takes fast reflexes and is exceedingly satisfying to block every shot. In a hypothetical WiiU sequel, I wouldn't mind them using the GamePad in shield mode for similar purposes.
And man, that's what the Strikers series deserves -- a sequel on WiiU. It's an incredibly fun multiplayer game since it's all on a single screen, like Smash, so it would only benefit from the clarity of HD. You and a buddy can team up in local co-op in Charged and go online together to challenge other teams. I can't stress enough how fun this is (or
was, before they shut down online services). Every match is harrowing and intense. Rarely in my experience is it a blowout. I suppose it also helps that there are Mario Kart-style items, but they hardly feel unfair or overpowered compared to how they can sometimes be in the Kart series. They're second fiddle, really, next to the captain powers and abilities of your handpicked team.
Strikers Charged is AMAZING. Best Mario spinoff not named "Kart." Depending on my mood, it may even exceed MK.
