I've never been told by a stranger to smile, but they probably mean when making eye contact with someone (or greeting them).
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What is up with strangers telling people to smile?
- Thread starter Skiesofwonder
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I've never been told by a stranger to smile, but they probably mean when making eye contact with someone (or greeting them).
Again, you're overthinking. They don't want you smiling all the time, nor do they expect you. It's not an order. They just want to brighten up your day. You don't have to smile at all. You can just look at them.
Of course, I guess we just have different perspectives on things. I try not to sweat the small stuff.
Ok, fine, you don't want to be cheered up, because that's just how you are and it's fine. I'm like that, too, sometimes.
But how about as a greeting. I've been told to smile as I pass someone I know instead of a hello. The guy didn't care if I smiled, and just kept walking. Would you smile/be offended by that?
Dark Stalkers
Member
tell them that they should eat a dick
I've been sitting at my desk doing work or just thinking and been told to "smile".
I'm neither happy or sad - I'm working or thinking.
SmackDaddy
Member
weemadarthur
Member
Certainly it is. It's stated in the imperative verb form, making it an order.
Also, if they wanted to cheer me up, they would do so when I cock my head to the side and reply "say something funny".
Some people just have a non-smiley resting face. It's annoying to hear random people tell you to smile. Who just randomly smiles anyway?
And then there are some guys that like to use it as a pick-up line and it's just... nope. lol
User 100115
Banned
Try having it happen all the damned time. 'Smile, sweetheart, it can't be that bad!' 'You'd be prettier if you smiled!'
You know what, random person on the street? My purpose in life is not to look pleasing to your eye. Kindly fuck off.
Wishing someone a good day is completely different.
I'm glad we got that out of the way. Thanks for pointing it out.
Cheer up, guys. Life is good.
Rhomega Beta
Member
Smile, and the world smiles with you.
stufte
Member
"I hope you have a good day" is different than "have a good day". One is a wish, the other is an order... of sorts, like telling someone to smile.
Skiesofwonder
Walruses, camels, bears, rabbits, tigers and badgers.
Going by this logic, I can walk up to anyone I want and tell them that they need to get a haircut, take a bath, change their clothes, etc. without being an asshole.
You have no clue what could being going on in that person's life. Do you tell someone that just had their mother die the day before to smile? That's what you could potentially be doing when telling random people to smile. It's a thoughtless and selfish remark.
Sectorseven
Member
Have a Coke and a smile.
If they want to brighten my day they can start by bringing my dog back to life.
Devolution
Member
Something tells me you don't understand the difference between actual positive messages and selfish demands.
stufte
Member
Have a good day Devo.
User 100115
Banned
The smile thing is annoying as shit because it's not wishing someone a good day (as 'have a good day' is short for). It's ordering so,done to change their appearance for your sake. Women tend to get it more than men, usually in the form of 'your prettier when you smile'.
Telling a random ass person on the street to smile is akin to telling a random person their hair color should be blonde instead of brown. It's rude and annoying.
I actually have a pretty angry normal face. I'm often asked if I'm angry, to which I have to assure them I'm not, and that I was just thinking. I can understand if it happens a lot. Most things would become annoying if it keeps happening.
I really think you're looking at that the wrong way, but even so, just let it slide over you. I used to get angry at the smallest remark, but I've learned to be more mellow and aloof, and honestly, I feel better. You gotta look at things in a positive way. People aren't always thinking about themselves.
weemadarthur
Member
You sound bitter. Did your dog die, too?
no because its belittling
Devolution
Member
I like that you're telling us how we have to think about a demand from a stranger in the way you desire. Missing the point for 500 Alex.
Have a good day is seen as a wish not a demand even if linguistically it isn't.
Telling someone to smile or cheer up randomly assumes you know what is going on in their head and they are somehow "sad" or "angry".
Don't assume to know what my mood is without even talking to me.
ShironRedshift
Member
Yeah, I get that most people that say it probably mean well and just haven't thought about it and realized how that statement actually sounds to other people, but yeah, it's definitely kinda stupid and weird. It's one thing to be wishing a person "good day" or whatever because you're only wising them well, but telling someone that they should smile is different and problematic because instead of just wishing someone well, you're actively telling them what they should be doing with their face and making assumptions about their mood (just because someone isn't smiling doesn't mean they aren't happy) and even if you're right about their mood, they could have very, very valid reasons for not being happy. Best just to wish a person well, ask them how their day's going and go from there.
*Hugs.*
Real sorry to hear about your friend. My condolences.
*Hugs.*
Well jeez, guys. How about you tell them to fuck off the next time they ask you to smile? That might make you happy.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
User 100115
Banned
I don't...you're actually...
This.
The point is thus:
Telling someone that their emotional responses are not pleasing and that they should alter them just for someone they've never mets sacke is fucking rude. End of discussion.
BurnOutBrighter
Banned
I've heard of this but no one I know has ever experienced it. Maybe this silly trend hasn't made it all the way to New Zealand.
You know a great way to make someone smile? Smile at them first.
You know a great way to make someone smile? Smile at them first.
Don't tell random strangers what to do? Mind your own business? Is it a difficult concept? Most people who tell people to smile aren't doing it to make that person feel better.
I've had it plenty of times while I'm busy working on something. They'll just walk up to me and say it.
Yes they do. They're treating me like a decoration because they're uncomfortable that I'm not fitting their idea of happy. Oh and it generally is an order when you tell someone to smile.
Lastly, if anyone was actually concerned in cheering me up they would ask how I'm doing and find ways to do it other than telling me to smile.
Devolution
Member
I don't...you're actually...
This.
Most of the times I've encountered this it's some sleazy asshole who wants to get something from me.
stufte
Member
Fair point.
I still don't understand what reason there is to get upset about it, especially from a stranger.
But I guess I'm not as irritated by the world as some people are.
User 100115
Banned
Most of the time I get it in either the form of 'Aw, you'd be prettier if you smiled!' or the whole trying to hit on you thing and your not having it so apparently you must smile to make them feel better.
Try having it happen a billion times. Then you'll understand how patronising and annoying it is.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Scofield94941
Member
god you read my mind. I want to die watching that part with the smile. Then it says "hey click this video for the smile technique." cant watch that
User 100115
Banned
To break it down further for people:
Would saying "There's something bothering me about your face, you should change it." to strangers be rude? Cause that's exactly what the smile thing is saying.
This was like watching one of those old German war videos where they convinced prisoners to hate themselves
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