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What is up with strangers telling people to smile?

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E

Elfforkusu

Member
Fiction said:
To break it down further for people:

Would saying "There's something bothering me about your face, you should change it." to strangers be rude? Cause that's exactly what the smile thing is saying.
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I... don't really think so. At least, I never think this on the fairly frequent occasions when people tell me to smile. (I don't usually smile) They are trying, in a haphazard way, to brighten my day.

My common response is "nope", because I am an asshole.
 
S

sandalphon

Member
Skiesofwonder said:
I've had this happen to me a few times now. I'm just going about my business, not in a bad mood once so ever, and I'll walk by someone I've never met before in my life and they tell me to "smile". Usually I chuckle and walk away, but then I start to think about it and become uncomfortable. I mean seriously, what an awkward-ass thing to say to someone you don't know. But usually l don't get too worked up about it until my girlfriend told me today that it happens all the time to her. She said early this week that she was in the gym, and when walking to the water fountain some guy told her to "smile". Who the hell smiles at the gym, really?

It really makes me sick now that I think about it. That person has no clue who you are or why you aren't smiling at that current moment. Maybe a family member recently passed away? Maybe you've had a bad day? Maybe you just don't smile around the clock 24/7. And do they expect that them telling someone to smile is going to make that person happy? Does that make a lick of sense? Such a comment is one hundred percent made for some stupid ass self-fulfillment at the benefit of another person's feelings. Fuck that.
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I feel ya, OP.

Just happened to me last night. I left work late and missed the one train that was a rapid service that would get me home half an hour faster. I was just standing at the platform, zoning out, when this bloke came out of no where and told me to "Smile, bro!"

It was odd as. I smiled, though. He did the point-finger-at-you thing, clicked his tongue, grinned at me and went on to tell other commuters to smile.

And the more I thought about it, the angrier I got that I smiled at his command.
 
S

SDBurton

World's #1 Cosmonaut Enthusiast
stutte said:
Jeez you guys are a grumpy bunch.

It's like saying "Have a good day!", but weirder. No one is trying to be an asshole in saying it, would it hurt just to flash a smile and go about your day knowing that someone cared to interact with you?
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This is how I take it. Some of you guys... holy shit. :/
 
W

Wazzy

Banned
Fiction said:
Most of the time I get it in either the form of 'Aw, you'd be prettier if you smiled!' or the whole trying to hit on you thing and your not having it so apparently you must smile to make them feel better.
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Yeah this is what I experience most commonly. They think it's some great conversation starter while I'm just thinking in my head "shut the fuck up please oh my god why are you telling me to smile now I AM in a bad mood"

For people defending it, what if I was in a bad mood for a reason? Maybe someone I know died. Now imagine having someone coming up to you with that going on and saying "You should smile"
 
S

Scofield94941

Member
id just also like to point out how selfish and self centered someone has to be to tell someone else to smile. Someone who tells someone else to smile is in a good positive happy mood and they want others to smile for their benefit. People go through different moods and go through shit everyday. fuck off

/rant
 
stufte

stufte

Member
Fiction said:
To break it down further for people:

Would saying "There's something bothering me about your face, you should change it." to strangers be rude? Cause that's exactly what the smile thing is saying.
Click to expand...

That would be rude, but I don't see it that way. I see it as "you don't look happy, maybe smiling will help your mood?" I know it's simplistic and assumes your mood and simply smiling won't *make* someone happy, but I just don't see the bad intention in it.
 
B

Brakke

Banned
stutte said:
Jeez you guys are a grumpy bunch.

It's like saying "Have a good day!", but weirder. No one is trying to be an asshole in saying it, would it hurt just to flash a smile and go about your day knowing that someone cared to interact with you?
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Most assholes aren't trying to be assholes. The take away is this: telling strangers to smile makes you an asshole. Take the next step from "not trying to be an asshole" to "trying to not be an asshole".

It's also a pretty well documented move of skeeves and predators. Just don't.
 
R

rjinaz

Member
I don't care if friends or family do it to me, and they have. It does annoy me greatly when a stranger does it. Nobody has a smile on their faces 24 hours a day, and if you do, then there may be something wrong with you or at the very least, you're going to come off as extremely creepy. As such, why even tell somebody to smile? Just because you want them to at that exact moment because you feel like smiling? Maybe I just don't at that exact moment. If you want me to smile, say something nice to me and I just might like "you're looking awesome today!", don't issue a command.
 
I

IconGrist

Member
I'm the bad guy I guess. I tell people (mostly women) to smile. I love seeing smiles. I mean, I know life is fuckin' hard on most and the last thing they really want to do is smile but one genuine smile can easily add a good note to an otherwise shitty day. I like to provide a reason to smile.

I think it's mainly because I used to be the guy who never smiled.

Hate me if you wish, GAF, but l hope you at least have a smile about it.
 
S

Skiesofwonder

Walruses, camels, bears, rabbits, tigers and badgers.
goshujinsama said:
I feel ya, OP.

Just happened to me last night. I left work late and missed the one train that was a rapid service that would get me home half an hour faster. I was just standing at the platform, zoning out, when this bloke came out of no where and told me to "Smile, bro!"

It was odd as. I smiled, though. He did the point-finger-at-you thing, clicked his tongue, grinned at me and went on to tell other commuters to smile.

And the more I thought about it, the angrier I got that I smiled at his command.
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Yeah it does feel like a command and it really is unnerving. I always smile as well when it happens, and later look back and wish I would have said something smart or witty in reply. I never do though. :/



Gentle Rodriguez said:
Related to this, when the hell is "cheer up" an appropriate thing to say? It's like saying "Stop having the emotion you're having". Gee, thanks.
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It shouldn't be. People should be embracing their emotions, not acting like they don't exist. The better to thing to say would be something like "do you want to talk about it?" or "can I do anything to help?". Cheer up is a selfish thing to say, it gives the impression that the person is wanting you to change your mood for their benefit. If all you have to add is "cheer up" then maybe it's just better to say nothing at all.
 
I

Izuna

Banned
I got this alot as a child, I didn't understand why. Usually on my happier days as a kid, I would be told to smile more. I was introverted, and I still like to think I am, but now I pretty camply dance about work and constantly make cheeky remarks and smile more than anyone else. So much so that I learnt how to make anyone else smile or laugh easily.

So, telling people to smile more doesn't really work and isn't the most effective thing to do.
 
W

Wazzy

Banned
The Icon said:
I'm the bad guy I guess. I tell people (mostly women) to smile. I love seeing smiles. I mean, I know life is fuckin' hard on most and the last thing they really want to do is smile but one genuine smile can easily add a good note to an otherwise shitty day. I like to provide a reason to smile.

I think it's mainly because I used to be the guy who never smiled.

Hate me if you wish, GAF, but l hope you at least have a smile about it.
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Yeah well it's not about you. Maybe consider other peoples feelings instead of your own?
 
S

StriKeVillain

Banned
The Icon said:
I'm the bad guy I guess. I tell people (mostly women) to smile. I love seeing smiles. I mean, I know life is fuckin' hard on most and the last thing they really want to do is smile but one genuine smile can easily add a good note to an otherwise shitty day. I like to provide a reason to smile.

I think it's mainly because I used to be the guy who never smiled.

Hate me if you wish, GAF, but l hope you at least have a smile about it.
Click to expand...

Yeah?
 
U

User 100115

Banned
The Icon said:
I'm the bad guy I guess. I tell people (mostly women) to smile. I love seeing smiles. I mean, I know life is fuckin' hard on most and the last thing they really want to do is smile but one genuine smile can easily add a good note to an otherwise shitty day. I like to provide a reason to smile.

I think it's mainly because I used to be the guy who never smiled.

Hate me if you wish, GAF, but l hope you at least have a smile about it.
Click to expand...

Maybe instead of ordering people to smile just because you like it, maybe try doing something that actually deserves a smile? Helping people, holding doors, offering to help with heavy packages, whatever.

Just straight up ordering someone to change their mood just to please you is really awful when you break it down.
 
B

BHK3

Banned
StriKeVillain said:
Yeah?
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image.php
 
E

eddfromtheriver

Banned
Not just strangers, i hate it when any person tells me to smile... why should i?, if anything i distrust people who seem to have had an accident that left them in a constant Joker like facial expression.
 
P

Partial Gamification

Banned
BramVD said:
I never ever heard about this. Wtf is wrong with people. Someone reassure me, this is an American thing right? Telling strangers to smile? That would ruin my day.
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Predominantly. It makes me think of how we Americans say "I'm sorry" all the time. Are you sorry, really; or are you just saying that? Its sort of a product of "polite society" where everything needs to be presented as pleasant peaches and cream.
 
I

IconGrist

Member
All this hostility, lol.

I don't just randomly walk up and demand a smile. That's a dick move. If it's happened to you and you got mad, that person is terrible at getting people to smile.
 
J

JDdelphin

Member
If some stranger offers up a suggestion that you may perhaps consider a more positive approach to the moment in which you currently exist-

-remember that very soon you will die and none of it will matter anyway.

humanmalejerbj.jpg


We're all smiling underneath
 
W

weemadarthur

Member
PS3GamerKyle said:
Ya'll are some frowning ass mothafuckas.

Smile more :)
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My lips naturally turn down at the corners. When I feel perfectly neutral, I appear to be pouting. It took me YEARS of looking at my childhood pictures to understand why people were always asking me what I was so mad about.

Now, I am aware of the issue. When I go out in public, I attempt to keep a permanent half smile on my face just to be appear neutral! But hey, it's tiring. And if i'm busy thinking, i'm not going to waste the mental energy needed for muscle control.

So, leave me alone. If I felt like being social, I wouldn't have brought a book to eat alone in a restaurant.
 
K

KibblesBits

Member
When people ask for a smile and don't really warrant or deserve one simply give them an awkward or "mean" smile. That usually shuts them right the hell up.
 
W

Wazzy

Banned
The Icon said:
All this hostility, lol.

I don't just randomly walk up and demand a smile. That's a dick move. If it's happened to you and you got mad, that person is terrible at getting people to smile.
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No matter what, telling someone to smile is stupid. There's so many nice ways to actually cheer someone up without demanding it.

Also the times these usually happen is a stranger walking up to people and telling them to smile.
 
A

Alphahawk

Member
Some of y'all just seem unpleasant. I mean you guys are talking about how it's selfish to want people to be happy. It's equally as selfish to be in a bad mood and bring others dowm with you.

Some of y'all are putting way to much thought into this. Way more than people intended.

I, for one, have never been told by a stranger to smile l, only relatives and close relations. After reading through this thread, I no longer wonder why.
 
W

Wazzy

Banned
Alphahawk said:
Some of y'all just seem unpleasant. I mean you guys are talking about how it's selfish to want people to be happy. It's equally as selfish to be in a bad mood and bring others dowm with you.

Some of y'all are putting way to much thought into this. Way more than people intended.

I, for one, have never been told by a stranger to smile l, only relatives and close relations. After reading through this thread, I no longer wonder why.
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Here's an idea:

If you want my mood to be happy then why don't you actually try helping it rather than telling me how to feel? Not only that, but maybe stop making assumptions about me? If I'm working on something, I'm not going to be smiling. It doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. It means I'm busy.

It's hilarious that you make an assumption we're unpleasant people just because we hate being told to smile.
 
K

Kozak

Banned
Everyone would have a strong argument if it weren't for the fact that smiling is actually good for you and that we should all smile more.
 
I

IconGrist

Member
Sketchbag said:
How should they get you to smile? I'm curious.
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There's no direct process. I couldn't explain it to you if I tried. It's about the situation, the context of what's going on.

Wazzy said:
No matter what, telling someone to smile is stupid. There's so many nice ways to actually cheer someone up without demanding it.

Also the times these usually happen is a stranger walking up to people and telling them to smile.
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I don't demand a smile though. Crazy people do that. Randomly walking up to someone and saying, "Hey you! Smile!" is not only stupid, it's offensive. We are in agreement there so I'm not arguing that point.

Like anything else, there is a time and a place. It's not pre-meditated. I don't walk out of my house in the morning and say to myself I'm going to get someone to smile. There's no way I could really know that. It's not a daily thing for me. Sometimes months can go by if not a year or so. It really just depends on the situation. What I say, how I say it, when I say it (it being whatever I find appropriate to the situation) plays a huge part. A large amount of the time the actual word "smile" never even gets said. I have also never said "cheer up" because that just sounds corny.

It's not a fool-proof process and it has backfired. There's a risk but getting a genuine smile out of somebody is worth it. To me anyway.

I know I'm not going to convince most if not all of you of what I'm saying. I really just wanted to point out that while I do try to get people to smile I'm not the "Hey, you should smile!" asshole who doesn't appreciate how offensive he or she may seem.
 
S

Suite Pee

Willing to learn
I sometimes tell them I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I imagine they reconsider ever saying that again.
 
E

EdibleKnife

Member
I try to smile all the time when passing by a stranger but never have I had the urge to actually suggest they smile. Going that far just seems to be overstepping a bit. Maybe even a little rude.
 
A

Apt101

Member
I've had women tell me I was "trying to look so macho (sic), you should smile more". I suppose I do have a bit of a grim countenance naturally, but it's not because I'm angry or unhappy. I just look this way. Leave me alone.
 
G

.GqueB.

Banned
I get this all the time because I have an angry resting face that I got from my mom. I also get alot of "nice pants" in Chelsea. I can't imagine a situation where I'd actually get worked up about it.

More power to you if you do. Must suck.

The assumptions are a bit weird though. People aren't demanding anything of you. They're either trying to have sex with you or brighten your day. But demanding you change your face to please them? Where did this narrative come from?

They may as well be saying "did it hurt?".
 
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