stn
Member
It strongly varies for men. Most of it comes down to how attractive you are, the rest is based on how fun you look in your profile, if your profile is interesting, and so forth. I'd say about 80% of it is based on your looks.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Yup, even I overthink about it many, many times as shown above when in fact, I should be trusting myself more often. For instance, the previous girl I was talking about ended up responding to my message so I suggested exchanging numbers whereas one of the other ones hasn't been on about 4 days.
What made you throw in the towel?Deleted all my profiles.
I deactivated my OKC but logged into an alternate account in Chrome and it worked fine for me. I don't know what to tell you.
If you're White, congratulations; you have a much higher chance of getting matches/messages versus someone of color/a minority. If you're not White, then that might be one reason why. You're welcome to post your profiles/pictures if you want feedback as well the types of messages that you say fall flat to get some kind of an idea as to why.
Otherwise, the best advice anyone can give you in this thread is to keep on persisting and try to meet people in your daily life in addition to having an online dating profile. Also if a message fizzles and the other person stops replying, send out another message since women tend to get busy, procrastinate, or forget to check their messages. That's in addition to getting flooded by hundreds of messages a day.
My advice on OKC: Use Quick Match on the OKC app and swipe right to dozens of girls Tinder style. If they like you back and you find them interesting, then message them. It's what I did before I deactivated my account. Most of the time girls would reply.
Yesterday was your first day? Way too small of a sample size to yield usable results.
For first messages to a non-likers, a 20% response rate is considered good. 10% is decidedly more average. The thing about OKC - if a girl has a profile pic and is even remotely attractive, she'll get flooded with messages from all over the world. It's very easy for your message to get lost in the noise.
For girls you've like-matched, 60-70% is about what you should expect. That rate goes down every day you don't reply though.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
People actually get like matches? Holy shit, that's the first thing I've read in here that makes me feel bad. I've never been like matched
I don't get any really, either. I have had made 5 total and they never respond. Pretty useless feature for me. I have around 20 people who like me but I can't view them, but since there isn't a mutual like, I probably wouldn't be thrilled anyway
Lone_Prodigy
Member
.
I thought the emoticon gave it away but I met someone so I deleted my profiles. Felt a little bad since I was in a conversation with someone on Tinder but you don't see messages after unmatching so there was no real way to back out gracefully.
I started online dating about 4 years ago and I can definitely look back and see the improvement and experience I acquired over the years. When I first started I was just bad at it: my profile pictures sucked, my profile sucked, my messages sucked. I would never ask for names or numbers from girls I exchanged messages with so they'd stop responding. I'd fire off cringe-worthy messages to super attractive girls and bemoan a lack of response. The first girl I actually met on there was already in a relationship so we just met as friends (we never stayed in touch).
It took about a year before I started having some success. I actually met a few girls and had multiple dates with one of them, though I never made a move and she found someone else.
A year after that (2 years ago) I took a break from online dating as some real-life changes happened. I made some new friends, got some new hobbies, and started getting in shape. While I was still single I was making positive improvements in my life and my confidence went up. I also got a new, better job.
A year ago I deleted my profile and made a new one (don't underestimate the power of a better username). I had new pictures and a better profile that wasn't stretching the truth as much. I became more selective in who I messaged and was getting better at securing names, numbers, and dates. To my surprise (and because of the new profile effect) I was getting visits, likes, and unsolicited messages from girls. And nothing against the girls I met from before, but these were girls that were more compatible and more successful, though they were also older (as was I). While I wasn't having much luck getting past the first date, at least I was getting first dates. If I do have one regret, it's one girl I went on multiple dates with: I never made a move and she stopped communicating. Lesson learned.
And that brings me to today. Bit the bullet and made a move, and it paid off. It sounds terribly cliched and revisionist though.
tl;dr: Spent a lot of time learning the ins and outs of online dating. Real-life improvements and experiences also helped in achieving success. I suppose you should also figure out what you want.
Congrats! Did you meet this new girl online, or IRL?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Online.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Am I the only one who interprets "I don't want any drama" and similar statements to mean "I create needless headaches and arguments for no reason at every opportunity"?
I guess it's a holdover from my time in junior high and highschool, when the only people that ever said that were the ones causing trouble with other people. Am I wrong to click away immediately when I see that?
I guess it's a holdover from my time in junior high and highschool, when the only people that ever said that were the ones causing trouble with other people. Am I wrong to click away immediately when I see that?
stn
Member
Nope, not the only one. I steer clear of any profile with that stuff in it.
User 479360
Banned
I'm talking to several girls, but don't know if I'll have much luck outside of the one in her mid-thirties. She's awesome, though I worry about the age gap.
Anyways, I was talking to a close friend who I've known for five years on Friday. Telling her about my loneliness, and talking about our collective health issues. I asked her to set me up with a friend, and ended up telling her that I'd had feelings for her in the past but didn't think she was interested and kind of mentally moved on.
Then, later this last weekend, I got a text saying that, though she's in a long-distance relationship with someone on the other side of the country, she's incredibly horny and wants me to be her fwb.
I don't know what to do, because I don't want to be 'that guy' or commit a sin. She's not engaged, but it's not right.
Anyways, I was talking to a close friend who I've known for five years on Friday. Telling her about my loneliness, and talking about our collective health issues. I asked her to set me up with a friend, and ended up telling her that I'd had feelings for her in the past but didn't think she was interested and kind of mentally moved on.
Then, later this last weekend, I got a text saying that, though she's in a long-distance relationship with someone on the other side of the country, she's incredibly horny and wants me to be her fwb.
I don't know what to do, because I don't want to be 'that guy' or commit a sin. She's not engaged, but it's not right.
User 479360
Banned
They're not, which is why I don't really want to do it.
EDIT: I just declined. Couldn't do it.
Big Papa Husker
Member
I saw someone that seemed interesting on Match.com, but noticed that they said they don't pay for match and to look her up on social media. I dunno why, but it just feels kinda creepy to message them on Facebook. What do you guys think?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
That's what she said to do, so you may as well. I wouldn't spend too much time doing it if you can't find her though.
Big Papa Husker
Member
She actually listed her last name.
So apparently if you aren't Facebook friends or a friend of a friend your message will go into their "Other Messages" inbox unless you pay Facebook $1. When did this start?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Oh, weird. I think that is for advertisers mostly. I don't try to message people I don't know very often though so I can't say what the policy is.
Most likely your message would be ignored anyway. I would just try to friend her if it matters to you that much and put her on a list that can't see all of your sensitive information.
I don't know, really. It may or may not work the way you think
User 479360
Banned
Cross-posted from DatingAge:
So, I'm making some headway with the online stuff and have some interesting prospects. I've never been in a relationship, or really dated outside of one-offs, so this is all new to me. I feel like an asshole for playing the field, but I know that's generally how it's done by those who are lucky enough to have options.
I've been sending out a lot of messages on different apps and sites.
1) The thirty-five year old who lives nearby is really nice, and we share a lot of interests, but I'm not as attracted to her as I would like and she's quite a bit older than I am which worries me. She's really great, though very self-conscious like myself and I get the feeling that she's put a lot of chips into this and I'd hate to hurt her.
I want to meet her and hang out, but don't want her to get too attached if it doesn't work out. I do not want to hurt this fantastic person - I just don't know if she's my dream girl or soulmate because of circumstances mentioned above. She's also a lot busier than me. Likes cats as much as I do, though.
2) The girl who moved across the country and just settled in my hometown. She laughs a lot while we talk, likes video games and is quite cute. A bigger girl, like the one above, but attractive. I find bigger women attractive a lot of the time, but I don't specifically go for them.
The thing is that it takes her a while to text back, and my shit isn't together like she wants in a prospective match. Nor do I want kids like she does. But she's still young, and so am I, so I'd like to meet her and try dating.
I offered to take her around to show her the area, but there's not a lot to see.
3) There's an awesome 19 year-old who messaged me first on PoF. We've been talking for several days to a week now, and she's really nice. Doesn't mind that I'm nearing 30 myself, or that I'm not perfect.
She'd been texting me all day, telling me she thinks I'm awesome, and called me out of the blue. We talked for a while, and it went really well.
I really want to meet her. She's easygoing, cute and really easy to talk to. Accepting as well.
4) There's a girl who works at my local game store. I've talked to her several times there, and it's felt as if she's been flirting with me from time to time. We shoot the shit about games a bit, and she's really nice to me.
I'd been trying to find her on Facebook, admittedly, but when I went online today she was in a quickmatch section. Her profile made me more interested, and I sent her a message saying she looked awfully familiar and asked if she worked where she does because I wasn't 100% sure. She looked very similar, but her hair was a bit different and another photo made her look different.
She replied and said, "Oooh, you got me. Yeah that's me. I was nervous about joining, but I see a few boys from work here which makes me feel better." - paraphrased.
I sent her a message back saying I thought it was and that I was glad it was her. Then, my next paragraph was essentially:
"I don't want to make things weird, but I want to be honest: I was nervous about messaging you, but wanted to because I think you're really cute and fun to talk to."
She hasn't replied, and it's been a while.
5) A woman -- who seems somewhat interesting, but isn't as talkative as most -- messaged me back on PoF.
6) There's still that one woman who wants to go out when she gets back from university. But I don't think I could do long distance when she goes back, because I like to be close/spend time together and like to cuddle.
They all seem really interesting, and I'd be happy if one ended up being a good match and turning into a great relationship. I can only dream.
So, I'm making some headway with the online stuff and have some interesting prospects. I've never been in a relationship, or really dated outside of one-offs, so this is all new to me. I feel like an asshole for playing the field, but I know that's generally how it's done by those who are lucky enough to have options.
I've been sending out a lot of messages on different apps and sites.
1) The thirty-five year old who lives nearby is really nice, and we share a lot of interests, but I'm not as attracted to her as I would like and she's quite a bit older than I am which worries me. She's really great, though very self-conscious like myself and I get the feeling that she's put a lot of chips into this and I'd hate to hurt her.
I want to meet her and hang out, but don't want her to get too attached if it doesn't work out. I do not want to hurt this fantastic person - I just don't know if she's my dream girl or soulmate because of circumstances mentioned above. She's also a lot busier than me. Likes cats as much as I do, though.
2) The girl who moved across the country and just settled in my hometown. She laughs a lot while we talk, likes video games and is quite cute. A bigger girl, like the one above, but attractive. I find bigger women attractive a lot of the time, but I don't specifically go for them.
The thing is that it takes her a while to text back, and my shit isn't together like she wants in a prospective match. Nor do I want kids like she does. But she's still young, and so am I, so I'd like to meet her and try dating.
I offered to take her around to show her the area, but there's not a lot to see.
3) There's an awesome 19 year-old who messaged me first on PoF. We've been talking for several days to a week now, and she's really nice. Doesn't mind that I'm nearing 30 myself, or that I'm not perfect.
She'd been texting me all day, telling me she thinks I'm awesome, and called me out of the blue. We talked for a while, and it went really well.
I really want to meet her. She's easygoing, cute and really easy to talk to. Accepting as well.
4) There's a girl who works at my local game store. I've talked to her several times there, and it's felt as if she's been flirting with me from time to time. We shoot the shit about games a bit, and she's really nice to me.
I'd been trying to find her on Facebook, admittedly, but when I went online today she was in a quickmatch section. Her profile made me more interested, and I sent her a message saying she looked awfully familiar and asked if she worked where she does because I wasn't 100% sure. She looked very similar, but her hair was a bit different and another photo made her look different.
She replied and said, "Oooh, you got me
. Yeah that's me. I was nervous about joining, but I see a few boys from work here which makes me feel better." - paraphrased.I sent her a message back saying I thought it was and that I was glad it was her. Then, my next paragraph was essentially:
"I don't want to make things weird, but I want to be honest: I was nervous about messaging you, but wanted to because I think you're really cute and fun to talk to."
She hasn't replied, and it's been a while.
5) A woman -- who seems somewhat interesting, but isn't as talkative as most -- messaged me back on PoF.
6) There's still that one woman who wants to go out when she gets back from university. But I don't think I could do long distance when she goes back, because I like to be close/spend time together and like to cuddle.
They all seem really interesting, and I'd be happy if one ended up being a good match and turning into a great relationship. I can only dream.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Chewie, my gut reaction is that, as someone relatively new to the dating world, you're juggling too much initially. Moreover, I think you might have skewed perceptions of what others expect, especially in online dating. I'll go through your list, and we'll attempt to make some sense out of it, but the takeaway's this: Go meet Girl #3, who's clearly into you, and see what happens. Every other "option" that you mentioned included red flags for you; I think you might feel that you need to explore opportunities with everyone that demonstrates some level of interest in you, but that's not the case.
Second takeaway: it seems that you haven't met any of these women in person, which means no one's "put a lot of chips into this." Specifically in the context of online dating, unless you've actually met, there's nothing but potential. And, it might surprise you, plenty of time people exchange messages back and forth and never actually meet. I've not responded to girls once the conversation died; they've likely done the same to me. I've also had people cancel dates that were arranged. Unless you're actually going on a date, everything's merely preparatory.
Anyway. You're not attracted to Girl #1 and worried about the age gap, and considering it's possible that her timeframe involves children, you're doing her a disservice by stringing her along. Either meet her or don't. But absolutely don't employ words like "dream girl" or "soulmate." You're putting the cart way, way before the horse there.
Girl #2 doesn't seem interested. At the very least, she's not as interested as Girl #3, whom you need to meet for coffee this Thursday.
Girl #4 hasn't replied; she doesn't seem interested either. She might've been turned off by the fact that you mentioned meeting her before in person, but your question was somewhat innocuous. Cut your losses and move on. Don't be sad -- because you clearly DO have other girls interested in you. That's more than some of us can say!
You give absolutely no context Girl #5. As far as Girl #6, you already know you can't manage a long-distance relationship, and that's fine. Thus, there's no need to explore it, really.
Bottom line: just ask Girl #3 out for coffee and see if you click. You don't just have to dream of a relationship. Besides, they're often quite easy to get into -- and sometimes harder to escape from!
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
chewie has 6 girls to even think about right now is about as many total i have had through my whole online dating ordeal. just need to eliminate ones that aren't compatible and focus on those that will actually meet.
Chewie, you need to be honest with yourself. You have one girl who your brain is already thinking about ending things with, another girl who doesn't seem that into you (along with the no children thing...that's a major disagreement), a third who is into you, two more that are in the "barely started, hard to gauge" area, and a final one who might be good for the summer. Long distance relationships suck. A lot. I know too many friends who lost their significant other during one.
If you don't see a future with any one these girls, don't waste their (and your) time.
And don't get too invested until you've met. There's a large gulf between people's online persona's and their real them.
If you don't see a future with any one these girls, don't waste their (and your) time.
And don't get too invested until you've met. There's a large gulf between people's online persona's and their real them.
User 479360
Banned
Thanks, guys. I wasn't expecting such down responses, but I understand.
I'm new to this, but I have a good head on my shoulders and I care about others. I'm not going to be rude to anyone, and definitely don't intend to hurt anyone.
I don't think it'll work out with the one who wants kids whereas I don't, and that's okay. I know that a lot of people who talk on online dating sites don't actually meet or end up being compatible. I've encountered that before. I don't expect to meet all of these women, especially not the one who really wants kids. I was just honest with her and told her that if she wanted to keep talking we could, but the ball's in her court. (This is #5)
The one who moved across country messaged me tonight and asked me what I was doing tomorrow. I just saw it and replied, but haven't heard back. I'm not sure if she maybe wants to do something but am not getting my hopes up right now. I'm just trying to relax.
Girl #3 is definitely the one I'm most interested in and excited about meeting. She's a really cool girl, though almost nine years younger than me. We actually just got off the phone, again, because she couldn't sleep and called me. Both conversations we had tonight were really good, too.
She's got a bad cold, which is why she's having trouble sleeping, but she does want to meet and brought it up a couple of times. She also said I have to watch a movie (P.S. I Love You) with her because I said I hadn't seen it.
The game store clerk was someone I'd had a crush on for a while, but if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.
I'm just 'playing the field.' But I have no intentions of hurting anyone, and I'm frankly shocked that I have one possibility, let alone six. I have terrible luck in dating as a hairy, overweight geek who's introverted, but here's hoping.
I'm new to this, but I have a good head on my shoulders and I care about others. I'm not going to be rude to anyone, and definitely don't intend to hurt anyone.
I don't think it'll work out with the one who wants kids whereas I don't, and that's okay. I know that a lot of people who talk on online dating sites don't actually meet or end up being compatible. I've encountered that before. I don't expect to meet all of these women, especially not the one who really wants kids. I was just honest with her and told her that if she wanted to keep talking we could, but the ball's in her court. (This is #5)
The one who moved across country messaged me tonight and asked me what I was doing tomorrow. I just saw it and replied, but haven't heard back. I'm not sure if she maybe wants to do something but am not getting my hopes up right now. I'm just trying to relax.
Girl #3 is definitely the one I'm most interested in and excited about meeting. She's a really cool girl, though almost nine years younger than me. We actually just got off the phone, again, because she couldn't sleep and called me. Both conversations we had tonight were really good, too.
She's got a bad cold, which is why she's having trouble sleeping, but she does want to meet and brought it up a couple of times. She also said I have to watch a movie (P.S. I Love You) with her because I said I hadn't seen it.
The game store clerk was someone I'd had a crush on for a while, but if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.
I'm just 'playing the field.' But I have no intentions of hurting anyone, and I'm frankly shocked that I have one possibility, let alone six. I have terrible luck in dating as a hairy, overweight geek who's introverted, but here's hoping.
Gray Matter
Member
I'm realizing that every time I find a profile of a girl who is atttactive and seems successful based on their profile I never even consider making contact.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Chewie, not to sound harsh, but you don't have 6 possibilities. (I think you really have 2, by some estimates.) For the others, not responding is evidence of something. Meanwhile, you and Girl #3 are already talking on the phone constantly and she's suggesting dates. Ask her out.
Hey folks, let's not post pictures of women or men from dating sites. Unless you have someone's explicit permission to post their picture, it's a violation of their privacy. This includes captures of Tindr chats, identifiable screen caps from private messages, that sort of thing.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Gray Matter
Member
Well, now that you know, you can remedy the problem
Yea, but I never know how to start a conversation, which is why I'm really good at online dating, or any type of dating.
OricWindstar
Member
Heading to my first date tomorrow. Never met up with someone from the site before, anyone got any tips of how to minimize potential awkwardness? I'm most worried about just losing things to talk about. Fortunately, we're getting coffee so I imagine it can be cut short if necessary.
Sorry about that. Won't happen again.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Tinder broken for anyone else?
Crossposting from the Tinder thread because no one seems to be reading that one. Any input is appreciated.
So I started using Tinder two months ago. Used it for a week, found and met a girl I really liked, went out with her for those two months until it ended. Now when I got back on Tinder, I had a lot of matches at first, as is to be expected since I hadn't been active for a good while, but now I'm just getting nothing, zilch. Is this an algorithm thing where I'm for some reason not even showing up for the people I swipe right on? I'm not the greatest looking but when I started out I would get at least a few matches per day, now I'm barely getting any at all. Is my best option just to delete my profile and start over? I'm not really having any conversations with my matches so I wouldn't be too upset with losing them.
So I started using Tinder two months ago. Used it for a week, found and met a girl I really liked, went out with her for those two months until it ended. Now when I got back on Tinder, I had a lot of matches at first, as is to be expected since I hadn't been active for a good while, but now I'm just getting nothing, zilch. Is this an algorithm thing where I'm for some reason not even showing up for the people I swipe right on? I'm not the greatest looking but when I started out I would get at least a few matches per day, now I'm barely getting any at all. Is my best option just to delete my profile and start over? I'm not really having any conversations with my matches so I wouldn't be too upset with losing them.
It keeps saying it had trouble signing in, despite already being signed in. It then logs me out. I sign back in and get an error message. I retry and it works but my matches are gone, and so are my messages. I sign out and back in again, and they're all back. They need to sort that shit out.
User 479360
Banned
So, the girl who moved here recently (and has the same name as my sister, coincidentally) texted me back today to say that she's going out to run some errands and to the gym, because she'd asked me what I was doing and I'd responded late.
We talked for a bit, and I summoned the courage and cojones to ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee sometime (I'd previously offered to show her around before she moved, and she was up for it), and she seemed interested/excited/happy. She laughs a lot, with lengthy "Hahahaha"s and "HAHAHAHA"s and uses smiley faces plus exclamation points so she's got an infectious personality.
I told her I'm quiet and shy, which surprised her, but she said she'd make up for that and balance it out, haha.
Anyways, we're going for coffee at 2:30 (less than two hours from now) and I'm both excited and scared shitless.
We talked for a bit, and I summoned the courage and cojones to ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee sometime (I'd previously offered to show her around before she moved, and she was up for it), and she seemed interested/excited/happy. She laughs a lot, with lengthy "Hahahaha"s and "HAHAHAHA"s and uses smiley faces plus exclamation points so she's got an infectious personality.
I told her I'm quiet and shy, which surprised her, but she said she'd make up for that and balance it out, haha.
Anyways, we're going for coffee at 2:30 (less than two hours from now) and I'm both excited and scared shitless.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll have a great time! And remember that silence isn't awkward unless you make it awkward.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Just remember that it's going to be as awkward for her as it is for you.
I thought this way too before my first online date, but fret not, it's not that difficult even if it seems that way. Prepare a few topics that you can talk about and fall back on if things get stilted. It can be your interests, school, some trip you took, anything really. And as I said, don't be afraid of silence, it's only awkward if you make it awkward. The average one on one coversation has a lull every seven minutes - if you're even close to that on a first date you probably have good chemistry.
Keep relating back to what your date says, if she says she went to Greece last year you can segue to your favorite trip, or if you've been to Greece yourself you can talk about that. If you can always relate something your date says to something you did or thought yourself, you'll almost never run out of conversation topics as it will flow organically.
Have you two talked a lot before? She might have a well-filled out profile. Try to remember these things you've found out about her before the actual date, as bringing them up or relating back to them will make you seem more interested.
In some ways, you remind me of myself in that I tend to overthink about things in addition to both being Dominican.
However, starting an online dating conversation is as easy as saying any one of the following without necessary having to write an essay based on what they write on their profile:
If you see a cool picture:"What's the story behind that picture? It looks fascinating."
"How was your weekend?"
"How was your day?"
The point is to get women to talk about themselves and go from there. Conversations will develop organically. While they're very neutral, I've gotten replies possibly because I'm a pretty decent looking guy. I'm pretty damn sure you'll get replies too since I've seen pictures of you and you're a pretty good looking guy that looks Omega El Fuerte.
I'm sure you'll be fine. My rule of thumb is to always hug initially and at the end (unless things go well that you want to try to make out), smile, talk about the day/trip and go from there. I would say to play it by ear and have a few things that she mentioned in previous conversations to bring up.
Like someone told you in the Dating-Age thread, it's probably because of the limited amount of swipes they implemented. I used to get a good share of matches before the subscription system. Now? Not so much and the conversations I've had with girls have been okay but not exciting. I have yet to meet up with a girl under the new system. If anything, then changing your main picture might help.
Good luck man. I like that you're pretty sincere about your personality. However, that's putting a disclaimer before meeting up with a person so they don't get the wrong idea which to me is self-defeating. Let girls make the impression of you when they meet you in person since it demystifies some of the mystery.
You should also consider reframing the whole shyness thing. Are you really shy (as a statement of fact that others say) or do you consider yourself to be a shy person? Doctor Phillip Zimbardo's Shyness book is worth checking out.
Any way, it sounds like it's going to be a good date so you got this. Feeling both scared and excited is a good feeling since you're meeting a new person.
User 479360
Banned
Thanks guys. I hope it'll go well!
I just got ready for the most part, but she texted me while I was in the shower to tell me that she might run a bit late. She's got the gym at 4 and wants to meet sometime before that, because her evening may be a bit hectic.
It's surprising how busy she is having just moved here, but perhaps that's normal. I wonder how many messages she got.
I just got ready for the most part, but she texted me while I was in the shower to tell me that she might run a bit late. She's got the gym at 4 and wants to meet sometime before that, because her evening may be a bit hectic.
It's surprising how busy she is having just moved here, but perhaps that's normal. I wonder how many messages she got.
Gray Matter
Member
In some ways, you remind me of myself in that I tend to overthink about things in addition to both being Dominican.
However, starting an online dating conversation is as easy as saying any one of the following without necessary having to write an essay based on what they write on their profile:
If you see a cool picture:"What's the story behind that picture? It looks fascinating."
"How was your weekend?"
"How was your day?"
The point is to get women to talk about themselves and go from there. Conversations will develop organically. While they're very neutral, I've gotten replies possibly because I'm a pretty decent looking guy. I'm pretty damn sure you'll get replies too since I've seen pictures of you and you're a pretty good looking guy that looks Omega El Fuerte.
This just made my day, thanks. Although some people say I look like Romeo santos... I don't see it.
OricWindstar
Member
Haha, good point.
Great advice. We chatted for a bit online after the we had already set the date up, so we have some chemistry. She's fortunately an artist, which something easy for me to gush about so shouldn't be to hard to bring up more conversation if there's too much of a lull.
Good things to keep in mind. Thanks for all the advice guys!
User 479360
Banned
Thanks backslashbunny
I just got home from the date, though I took an extra hour to return a game. Overall, I think that it went quite well, potentially really well. However, I'm awful at reading things.
It was to be at 2:30pm, but ended up starting at about 3:15 and lasting for 45 to 50 minutes. We had planned to go get coffee, but she texted me to say that she was running a bit late, then called to ask if it would be okay if we met at Subway instead, because she wanted to get something to eat before going to the gym. So, I left after she called and met her there.
She was at the window seat when I went in, so I sat down and said hi, then started talking to her while always trying to make good eye contact. I would look out the window a bit to ease my nerves, but it went well with the eye contact.
We talked about her, and how her drive was here, where she's from, where she was born, the business she's thinking about starting, and what she thinks of the area. Anyways, she's amazed that I find it boring, because it's apparently quite a big busier and more built up than where she's from.Then we got talking about the neighbouring city, which has a bad reputation that she didn't know the reason for.
I did talk about myself and my family, but did not mention anything too detailed or go into any discussion about my mental issues. They weren't existent when I was around her, outside of my anxiety which I tried to suppress.
After she finished eating, she asked if I'd like to go to Target, because it's just about to close and she wanted to see what kind of deals she could get. So, we walked over there and shopped for a while. There was nothing of great interest to me, but there were quite a few things of interest to her, so she picked up a ton of stuff at eighty per cent off. Kept talking about how she loves deals, and how excited she was by being able to buy so much for so little, haha. (We're kindred spirits there, but she beats me with the excitement level.)
She seemed kind of surprised that I held the door open for her when we were leaving Subway, and when I asked her if she'd like help holding all of the stuff she was getting at Target. Also commented on how it might've been awkward for me as she looked at bras and laughed when I said it was a bit but oh well (not that it bugged me).
The reason she had to go to the gym afterwards was because of a class, so she left pretty much as late as she could and headed there, whereas I headed to do my errands. She told me to text her later, and I told her that if she wanted someone to show her around the area, I wouldn't mind at all, which she seems interested in.
Tonight, she's going shopping, having someone fix something and for a run, but maybe she'll ask to go to a movie or at least want to text for a while.
I'm attracted to her, as she seems like a great person. Yes, she's bigger than I expected, but she pulls it off well and I'm okay with that. I'm certainly not skinny or a model, myself.
I would've bought her food, but she already had it when I got there.
I just got home from the date, though I took an extra hour to return a game. Overall, I think that it went quite well, potentially really well. However, I'm awful at reading things.
It was to be at 2:30pm, but ended up starting at about 3:15 and lasting for 45 to 50 minutes. We had planned to go get coffee, but she texted me to say that she was running a bit late, then called to ask if it would be okay if we met at Subway instead, because she wanted to get something to eat before going to the gym. So, I left after she called and met her there.
She was at the window seat when I went in, so I sat down and said hi, then started talking to her while always trying to make good eye contact. I would look out the window a bit to ease my nerves, but it went well with the eye contact.
We talked about her, and how her drive was here, where she's from, where she was born, the business she's thinking about starting, and what she thinks of the area. Anyways, she's amazed that I find it boring, because it's apparently quite a big busier and more built up than where she's from.Then we got talking about the neighbouring city, which has a bad reputation that she didn't know the reason for.
I did talk about myself and my family, but did not mention anything too detailed or go into any discussion about my mental issues. They weren't existent when I was around her, outside of my anxiety which I tried to suppress.
After she finished eating, she asked if I'd like to go to Target, because it's just about to close and she wanted to see what kind of deals she could get. So, we walked over there and shopped for a while. There was nothing of great interest to me, but there were quite a few things of interest to her, so she picked up a ton of stuff at eighty per cent off. Kept talking about how she loves deals, and how excited she was by being able to buy so much for so little, haha. (We're kindred spirits there, but she beats me with the excitement level.)
She seemed kind of surprised that I held the door open for her when we were leaving Subway, and when I asked her if she'd like help holding all of the stuff she was getting at Target. Also commented on how it might've been awkward for me as she looked at bras and laughed when I said it was a bit but oh well (not that it bugged me).
The reason she had to go to the gym afterwards was because of a class, so she left pretty much as late as she could and headed there, whereas I headed to do my errands. She told me to text her later, and I told her that if she wanted someone to show her around the area, I wouldn't mind at all, which she seems interested in.
Tonight, she's going shopping, having someone fix something and for a run, but maybe she'll ask to go to a movie or at least want to text for a while.
I'm attracted to her, as she seems like a great person. Yes, she's bigger than I expected, but she pulls it off well and I'm okay with that. I'm certainly not skinny or a model, myself.
I would've bought her food, but she already had it when I got there.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Top tip, don't delete your account and start over to try and fix the problem. I've now got the dreaded "There was a problem getting your code. Please try again" error when verifying my number. Can't be bothered to create a new Facebook profile just for Tinder so it looks like my Tindering days are over.
User 479360
Banned
I texted her last night, and she apologized for being hectic (having to run to the gym after less than an hour and having a busy night), but there was no need to apologize. I thanked her for taking the time out to meet/go out for a bit, and said I had a good time.
She replied saying that she did as well, and later on texted a smiley face. But she was playing Call of Duty, so I didn't text her too much.
She replied saying that she did as well, and later on texted a smiley face. But she was playing Call of Duty, so I didn't text her too much.
Well, this has been a rather weird week.
First, got messaged by a girl who went with the oh-so-boring "hi". Her profile was sparse, and including things like "I spend a lot of time thinking about - ...money, fashion" and she's "Starting an event planning business/ interior design". Took from that she enjoys spending other people's money, so I didn't respond.
Second message was from a girl I haven't talked to since early February. Hearing nothing for two months I'd take as a lack of interest, but then why message now? And since I've cleaned up my inbox since then, I've lost all the details about what we talked about...
First, got messaged by a girl who went with the oh-so-boring "hi". Her profile was sparse, and including things like "I spend a lot of time thinking about - ...money, fashion" and she's "Starting an event planning business/ interior design". Took from that she enjoys spending other people's money, so I didn't respond.
Second message was from a girl I haven't talked to since early February. Hearing nothing for two months I'd take as a lack of interest, but then why message now? And since I've cleaned up my inbox since then, I've lost all the details about what we talked about...
That's a shame, she could be the nicest person and the complete opposite of your expectation, but you won't even reply to a hello.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
For what it's worth, I don't respond to those messages either. It's the functional equivalent of baiting me to do the work of reading her profile and coming up with something interesting to say, when, conversely, she couldn't be bothered. She could indeed be the nicest person ever, but she didn't have the initiative to string together a single sentence.
It's possible, but I can only work with what she gave me.
"Hi" is perhaps the most boring first message you can get. It says nothing. It doesn't start a conversation, it doesn't show her personality, it doesn't indicate she read my profile and likes something about me.
Her profile wasn't that interesting either. It was fairly generic as far as online profiles go. Oh, she works a lot and likes travelling. She's fond of the local sports team. She can't live without her family, iphone, and laughter. She considers herself positive, active, goofy, and artistic.
Each to their own really. I would reply though, I don't really see a reason not to. "Hey, how are you?" Doesn't have to be any more effort. Not everyone is an "internet person" who's up to chat online or likes putting everything up front. I feel i'm like that, my profile is short, and i'm pretty quick to push for a meet up, as I'm not interested in chatting online (and going nowhere as it often seems to in this thread).