• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Anyone here end up marrying their 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

Status
Not open for further replies.

NervousXtian

Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
Very cool :) Did you ever wonder about if you'd dated other girls? Or was it just a minor thing?

I think it's pretty normal to check out and wonder about other women no matter how much experience you've had dating and fucking in the past.

I mean statistically the difference between 1 girl to 40 girls out of all the available girls you'll meet is pretty small.
 
No, but I married my second serious girlfriend. Was her second serious relationship as well. We've been married for over ten years now and it's been great. Neither of us are really "sow wild oats" kind of people so we haven't had regrets over that.

Sometimes you just know what you want.
 

Papercuts

fired zero bullets in the orphanage.
My sister got married last year to her first boyfriend. They got together in highschool(I think she was in 10th grade?) and have stayed strong since. She's turning 27 this year.
 

Shinypogs

Member
I married my former bff whom I met the first day of highschool and started dating the following spring. We dated for years and were married for six years but things sadly did not last. It was an interesting and important part of my life even if most of the memories are bittersweet now.
 

pantsmith

Member
Was at a wedding for a couple who was on-again-off-again since middle school, which is still pretty crazy to me. Certainly solves the "what else is out there" aspect.

At some point you are always going to dream of greener pastures, and you just have to decide when you're happy enough. I know for certain a less rational me would have married my high school sweetheart, but thank god I went on to meet so many different people.
 
Yeah, I did, married at 20. We'd been dating for almost 2 years, and were planning a long engagement (since she was going to be studying abroad for a year, we'd just be engaged during that year and then some). That fell through at the last minute, so we just got married. Not like we were doing anything differently anyway.

It's going great too. It's just me, her, and our dog (that we got together) in grad school. I'd definitely advise anyone to live with their partner first though. That helps you a ton.
 
I did. We weren't looking for reasons not to be together and everything has worked out fine so far. We survived two separate distance relationships before we were married and one after we were married because of work. Everything was still fine. We enjoy each other's company and while life hasn't been perfect, my relationship is the best thing in it.

That being said both of us recognize it's not for everyone (and we tell people that). It just worked out that way for us. I suppose I might have felt like I was missing out a bit in college or something like that but honestly I'm painfully shy and not much of a partier anyway.
 

Seirith

Member
I met my husband on Yahoo when I was 14 and he was 18. We started dating a month later and are still together 18 yeas later, married 10 years. We are very happy and I can't imagine my life with anyone else.
 

JohnsonUT

Member
I did. Started dating at 19. Engaged at 21 after I had graduated college. Married at 22 after she had graduated. 12 years next month with two kids.

Never had doubts or regrets. The only hard part was that none of our friends got married or had kids until years after us.
 

ultra7k

Member
I did, and it's great.

My friend ended up marrying his high school sweetheart. They'd been together for 11 or 12 years and ended up getting a divorce two or three years into their marriage.
 

Phyranion

Member
ITT:
  • People who's experienced a few breakups claim you need the experience.
  • People who stuck to their first partner claim you don't.
 
My wife's sister is married to the guy she dated in school. They've been together since they were 16 and now in their early thirties. They have 3 kids and seem to be pretty happy. You can never really tell from the outside though so who knows.

Seems weird to not experience other relationships to me. How do you know if yours is good if you have no frame of reference? My ex was a total psycho so I really appreciate just how normal my wife is.
 
Been with my long-distance girlfriend for nearly 6 years
Can't marry yet because we're both studying in our respective country and she's not old enough for legal marriage anyway but it's in our to-do list, yeah

edit: never had the curiosity to know how it would be like to be with someone else
my girlfriend is a fucking amazing person, plus i'm too antisocial to even make friends anyway
my girlfriend is the exception to the rule and she's the best exception i could possibly have
 

Balphon

Member
Yeah. I was 16 on our first date and am 30 now.

Everything is great, but I wouldn't use my life experience as the basis for universal advice.
 

studyguy

Member
ITT:
  • People who's experienced a few breakups claim you need the experience.
  • People who stuck to their first partner claim you don't.

Pretty much. It's a relationship thread though, so it's not like anything is objectively wrong unless you're absolutely miserable or something.
 

Aureon

Please do not let me serve on a jury. I am actually a crazy person.
A dear friend of mine broke off with his girlfriend of 15 years (14-29) last year.
It was bad.
 

G-Bus

Banned
Yup.

4 year anniversary was in February and our wedding is this November.

We're pretty good together despite our problems. Some days I wonder who else is out there but at the same time I love this girl to death and there's something special to me about only having been with one girl.

Edit - we're also friends with a couple that has been together since grade 9. They're both 30 now. Merried for 5. 1 kid with another on the way. That blows my mind.
 
Me! Hubby and I started dating when I was 18 and he was 21, and we were our firsts. We've been together for 11 years now, never a break in between.

Never been happier. We always communicate with each other which helps tons. Wouldn't exchange him for the world.

I do sometimes have deviant fantasies, but I KNOW MY PRIORITIES, and at the very top of that is my husband. We have something very good to be treasured and I'm not about to break it just because of some fleeting itch.
 

Seirith

Member
My wife's sister is married to the guy she dated in school. They've been together since they were 16 and now in their early thirties. They have 3 kids and seem to be pretty happy. You can never really tell from the outside though so who knows.

Seems weird to not experience other relationships to me. How do you know if yours is good if you have no frame of reference? My ex was a total psycho so I really appreciate just how normal my wife is.

When my husband and I started dating I never imagined we would get married, after all I just turned 15 when we started dating but as I got older I knew I wanted to be with him for life. I don't need any other refrences because he is everything I want and need. He treats me great, works hard and has stuck around during a few serious injuries I have had. After almost 20 years together we still love being together and enjoing doing things together. We have the same values and both do not want children. I just don't need to know what anyone else would be like because I am happy with my husband.
 

Lenardo

Banned
my wife was the first girl i ever took out on a date besides a prom (i went with a friend for my senior prom-this was a month before i met my wife).

i met her when she was 15, i was 17/18- i put the slash because on our first DATE i was 18 (met her 2 days before my birthday)-june 22 1984 is when i met her.
we dated throughout her high school years- i was 21 when i went with her to her prom.
we dated -except for one brief break up for ~3 months -for her 4 university years, then dated for her 4 grad school years while we were apart by ~1300 miles at uminn
i proposed the 2nd time when she was on her 3rd year in grad school

we got married 3 months(sept 3rd 1995) after she got her doctorate in veterinary medicine.
we have been married for 20 years so far and we have been "together" for almost 32 years and except for a few rough patches, it's been great, she is my best friend, lover and wife.
have 3 kids

etc etc.

no regrets at all.
 

Akuun

Looking for meaning in GAF
I'm engaged to my first girlfriend. I'm not her first boyfriend.

It's true that every now and then I do wonder what other relationships would have been like, but it's just idle curiosity to me. I would never stray from my current relationship over something like that. I've actually talked to my fiancee about this and she understands as well.
 

goldenpp72

Member
Having experienced some rough women patches, I can say that you usually can tell when you're with the right girl. Of course you wonder what other women are like at times, but really if you have a high quality girlfriend that has stuck with you, that in itself is hard to obtain.

The thing that sucks about humans here is that when we find a really happy spot, we get curious and test other waters only to discover that that one great girl we just dropped is now being replaced by a ton of women that don't work out. And if they do work out you'll often find the new one wasn't better, just different.

How I see it, if you desire a life long companion then inevitably that relationship will become an old and steady one. If that concept bothers you, then you really aren't seeking a wife but rather life experiences.

One perk I'd say about dating young and sticking together is that people are more impressionable, so the chances of you growing to like similar things and develop your chemistry increase quite a bit.
 

entremet

Member
I always thought it was a pretty cool thing in a sentimental way.

Gotta choose wisely, though!

Way past that point myself.
 
I met my wife when I was 16. We dated all through college. Got married. Have a kid. We've been married for 8 years. Together for 15. We're still both incredibly happy in our marriage.
 
No, but I'm going to my first girlfriend's wedding this summer. She was my best friend's little sister and we've remained fairly close over the years. Should be fun!
 

AaronB

Member
I'd dated a little (and been through breakups that were painful despite the short duration of the relationship), but had never had a serious girlfriend before my wife. I had just turned 29 when I moved to her country, and we met, got engaged, got married, and even got pregnant before I turned 30.

It's been a great 8 years. I think almost everyone occasionally wonder how things might have turned out if they were with someone else, but I don't think it would have been better. I don't think having a few more serious girlfriends before would have improved things, either. If anything, I wish we had both matured earlier, met earlier, and been married younger. It would have been great to go through our 20's together and skip the loneliness and heartbreaks of that long period between physical maturity and marriage.

Sustaining a healthy and happy marriage is hard even under the best conditions, and I don't think it is helped by the baggage of past relationships - especially past physical relationships.
 

AudioNoir

Banned
I met my husband in my last year of high school :) Had no remotely serious relationships before him! We're in our mid-thirties now with two kids, everything is great.
 
Yeah, my college roommate. Stocky guy from Minnesota, never dated before college. He never even seemed interested in dating around bc he met the love of his life right there during freshman year. They split briefly for a summer when she went to study art in San Francisco, but nothing else happened for either of them and they got back together. Things worked out great for them!
 
Yeah, my college roommate. Stocky guy from Minnesota, never dated before college. He never even seemed interested in dating around bc he met the love of his life right there during freshman year. They split briefly for a summer when she went to study art in San Francisco, but nothing else happened for either of them and they got back together. Things worked out great for them!

Is his name Marshall Eriksen?
 

Valhelm

contribute something
I'm really worried that I'll always regret not being able to stay together with my first girlfriend. She wasn't perfect, but she made me feel happier than anyone else.
 

T-0800

Member
Yep. I married my first girlfriend. Just celebrated our 23rd year of marriage about a week ago. Helps that she is my best friend.
 
Not married, but I'm still with my first girlfriend after 8 years (7 of living together). I am also her first boyfriend.

I must say that we are really happy together. We argue sometimes, like all couples do, but always on mundane, trivial things. We have the same hobbies, same interests, same life goals and expectations. And the sex is still great.

Sometimes I think that maybe I missed something not experimenting around in my late teens as most do, but I really never had the urge to cheat on her or to go looking for something else. We even talked about this and she feels the same. Maybe we are just really lucky
 
All the longest and devoted relationships I've known are people who married each other as their first love.

But they are also older generations, so things might be different.
 

Not

Banned
Yeah, known her for almost seven years, married for a year and a half.

We fight just like everyone, but our personalities compliment each other-- her strengths make up for my faults and vice versa. Plus we still make each other laugh everyday.

It was totally an accident. I was 17 and just wanted a girlfriend
 

Respect

Member
I was, we were married for just short of 11 years, recently divorced though (about 4 months ago).

Edit: Dating can really suck your will to live and I've only been doing this 2 months...can't imagine doing this for 10+ years....maybe it's me? Nah.
 
My wife and I started dating in High School. She's not my first girlfriend, but I was her first boyfriend. We've been together 10 years. It's interesting to discuss sometimes.

No regrets, but there's obviously curiousity about what dating others would have been like.
 

Chuckie

Member
That's a thought that will cross your mind in a long term relationship sooner or later anyway, regardless of whether or not you marry your first gf/bf.

With one big difference. If it isn't your first partner you actually know what it feels like to be with other partners.

Almost all humans in a relationships will have thoughts of 'others'. That is normal.
Those feelings might be a bit stronger though for people who married their first love though. Because they never had any other partners.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom