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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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This thread is going places, lol.

Does anyone know how to best help a friend after she's found out her ex-boyfriend had been cheating repeatedly on her but only knew half a year after they broke up? They were together for a long time and I feel like she's been improving in the past month since she knew, but does anyone have advice how to best deal with the situation.
Have you offered with assisting doing this to the guy?
516.gif
 
Does he need to be such a fucking brat about it?



Nothing of value was lost



He aint need to be on board. His feelings on the matter are irrelevant. I hope yee aint tell him bout no tongue feeling thoough, then he may have a point lmao.

I haven't told him about tongue. In fact, anytime I bring her up at all, he is grumpy. Whenever I come home from seeing her, he didn't talk to me the next day.

His mentor said she should he needs to fuck off and that she used to think he could be a good person, but he's to much of an angry piece of shit.

My other friend said to never introduce her to him because he will treat her poorly, just like the friend treats his girlfriend poorly.

Shit sucks. A 14 year friendship about to v end because the fucker can't handle the fact people like me more than him. A shame. I loved him. This is on his terms though.
 

gaiages

Banned
I tend to see those as frustrated men who haven't necessarily gone down the rabbit hole that is redpilling.

Some of them are, those guys usually chill after a post vent or two and are like "woah sorry bruhs, I'm chill now". But with them just being as blunt as we are with the redpillers are what's going to get through, because they are frustrated and not really thinking things through... so it's the same result in the end.

It's those that dwell on it or as some said use certain terms that are the ones that raise the red flags :p

Have you offered with assisting doing this to the guy?
516.gif

I can't see the gif (thx work computer) but if it involves violence, anime violence, or scathing Facebook status updates then please don't.

She's just going to need time to process it, Daedardus. I guess the best you can do is let her talk about it with you.
 

Neoweee

Member
I haven't told him about tongue. In fact, anytime I bring her up at all, he is grumpy. Whenever I come home from seeing her, he didn't talk to me the next day.

His mentor said she should he needs to fuck off and that she used to think he could be a good person, but he's to much of an angry piece of shit.

My other friend said to never introduce her to him because he will treat her poorly, just like the friend treats his girlfriend poorly.

Shit sucks. A 14 year friendship about to v end because the fucker can't handle the fact people like me more than him. A shame. I loved him. This is on his terms though.

Is the dude in counseling? Because he should be in some kind of therapy, if he can at all afford it. He's got some issues. What/who is his "Mentor"? Is it a professional, or casual thing?
 
I haven't told him about tongue. In fact, anytime I bring her up at all, he is grumpy. Whenever I come home from seeing her, he didn't talk to me the next day.

So childish. It's funny. When my roomies or friends got girls I pretty much was bigging em up. Like fuck yeah brah. Some guys so far in their own ass it's sad

His mentor said she should he needs to fuck off and that she used to think he could be a good person, but he's to much of an angry piece of shit.

Pretty obvious he's a bitter piece of shit. Actually tbh that's giving him too much credit. I was bitter at a point but I never projected that insecurity into anger at my friends. Dude is just straight lost cause.

My other friend said to never introduce her to him because he will treat her poorly, just like the friend treats his girlfriend poorly.

Whatchu do is just plan shit and exclude him from it. Don't introduce her to him but also like, take her to your place. Fuck his opinion.

Shit sucks. A 14 year friendship about to v end because the fucker can't handle the fact people like me more than him. A shame. I loved him. This is on his terms though.

Friendships come and go man. It is what it is. If it has reached its natural conclusion then just remember the good times and leave it at that.
 
I can't see the gif (thx work computer) but if it involves violence, anime violence, or scathing Facebook status updates then please don't.

She's just going to need time to process it, Daedardus. I guess the best you can do is let her talk about it with you.
I was honestly more tongue in cheek with that sentiment than actually serious. And I do agree that the best medicine for what she's going through is honestly just time.
 

Kyne

Member
i was super close to putting my online dating profile up this weekend... although it didn't happen.

maybe next weekend? getting pictures taken is nerve wrecking.
 
Is the dude in counseling? Because he should be in some kind of therapy, if he can at all afford it. He's got some issues. What/who is his "Mentor"? Is it a professional, or casual thing?

She's his former boss. She took him under her wing while he was in grad school. He used to spend a lot of time worth her family until he flew off the handle on her after she didn't want to be a part of his consulting company.

She still keeps an eye on him because she worries about him, but there is a lot of hurt feelings there.

Anyway, I just don't think there will be a future where my girl and my friend will be hanging out.
 
She's his former boss. She took him under her wing while he was in grad school. He used to spend a lot of time worth her family until he flew off the handle on her after he didn't want to be a part of his consulting company.

She still keeps an eye on him because she worries about him, but there is a lot of hurt feelings there.

Anyway, I just don't think there will be a future where my girl and my friend will be hanging out.
He sounds emotionally unstable and you're better off not even bringing your GF into that environment, count it as a blessing in disguise honestly. If the dude ain't going to be happy for your happiness then fuck'em.
 
i was super close to putting my online dating profile up this weekend... although it didn't happen.

maybe next weekend? getting pictures taken is nerve wrecking.

Why wait for the weekend? People are checking for dates for the weekend and out during that weekend. Which means you've got a potential additional week of waiting for responses to messages you've send. No maybe, do it now, get it over with. Jump in.
 
i was super close to putting my online dating profile up this weekend... although it didn't happen.

maybe next weekend? getting pictures taken is nerve wrecking.

Did this last week. I had pretty good success with OKC (my refusal to use Facebook hinders dating apps and is super annoying) but none of the people I went out with had any sort of spark or follow up interest on my end. Except one girl. But she moved away because of course she did. Kinda just floating around now. Have a mess of a friendship with this other girl that I think we just decided to not talk anymore which is fine. Friends at work are inviting me out and it's women in their thirties getting drunk so that's fun at least.

Being 10 years younger than everyone in the office kinda sucks though.
 
Being a red piller is depressing. It's a super shitty, cynical way to look at the world and people. Still not sure how I got out of that mindset, but I'm glad I did.

Yeah, I feel like I could have easily gone down the redpill path as well. I'm not sure how I dodged that bullet, but I am incredibly thankful for that.

So, up in the air about potentially deciding to jump into the dating scene again, and considering I haven't changed my look over the last couple of years at all which of these two pics would make a better profile pic?

Normal curly hair...
VDyKzds.png


...Or straightened hair with an "ow the edge" black and white filter and an animal skull?
4YdU1W4.png

Animal skulls are dope.
 
You keep saying this. "you just want him on board", "you want him on your team"

why dude, get him the fuck away from your life if he's going to be like this

It's weird because the dude gets dates. He also has 3 fwb.

I wanna help him, but I kind of don't.

Did this last week. I had pretty good success with OKC (my refusal to use Facebook hinders dating apps and is super annoying) but none of the people I went out with had any sort of spark or follow up interest on my end. Except one girl. But she moved away because of course she did. Kinda just floating around now. Have a mess of a friendship with this other girl that I think we just decided to not talk anymore which is fine. Friends at work are inviting me out and it's women in their thirties getting drunk so that's fun at least.

Being 10 years younger than everyone in the office kinda sucks though.

Let me ask you a question. If you find someone attractive, and they are fun does age matter?
 

gaiages

Banned
Yes. Separate conversation, but age has a lot to do with a ton of things, especially family planning stuff and the vague-but-true "stages of life" concept.

Yep. While they aren't hard, set rules, people at different ages tend to have different priorities, and likes/dislikes, and etc. Of course there are exceptions, but generally a 19 year old and a 30 year old are going to have way different opinions on what's important.

Of course this all matters way less if you're just going for hookups, but for relationships it's important to consider.
 
There are age ranges I'm fine with and ages I don't touch with a 10ft pole. My roommates BF seems to have a problem with me wanting nothing to do with 19 year olds. I'm 32, I have no use for that age bracket unless I'm hitting mid life crisis stupidity. I think the youngest I'd be comfortable with is 26. Oldest that I'd date is probably about 35-36.
 

Ledbetter

Member
Did this last week. I had pretty good success with OKC (my refusal to use Facebook hinders dating apps and is super annoying) but none of the people I went out with had any sort of spark or follow up interest on my end. Except one girl. But she moved away because of course she did. Kinda just floating around now. Have a mess of a friendship with this other girl that I think we just decided to not talk anymore which is fine. Friends at work are inviting me out and it's women in their thirties getting drunk so that's fun at least.

Being 10 years younger than everyone in the office kinda sucks though.

Why do you refuse to use Facebook? Privacy stuff? I don't use Facebook but had to create one just for Tinder (it's the only app that people use in this city), just put some photos for my profile and basic info like where I'm from. Actually I never use it, but yes, it would be could if you can create accounts without Facebook.
 

gaiages

Banned
Why do you refuse to use Facebook? Privacy stuff? I don't use Facebook but had to create one just for Tinder (it's the only app that people use in this city), just put some photos for my profile and basic info like where I'm from. Actually I use it, but yes, it would be could if you can create accounts without Facebook.

I've had people I chatted with on OKC suddenly and "mysteriously" appear on my 'who to add' feed on Facebook on multiple occasions, so I don't blame his hesitation.

That said it's not hard to make a throwaway Facebook account and just link that instead.
 

Astral

Member
Can you guys rate my Okc profile? I made it last night and I'm not really satisfied with it. I'm sure it can use more tweaks. A friend of mine said it was hilarious and she loved it but she's biased so I don't trust her. I know the pictures can use massive improvements. Those are a work in progress atm since I haven't really bee able to go out lately. I know I really need one of an outdoor activity for example.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile
 

Scotch

Member
Can you guys rate my Okc profile? I made it last night and I'm not really satisfied with it. I'm sure it can use more tweaks. A friend of mine said it was hilarious and she loved it but she's biased so I don't trust her. I know the pictures can use massive improvements. Those are a work in progress atm since I haven't really bee able to go out lately. I know I really need one of an outdoor activity for example.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile
Your link is wrong.
 

Salamando

Member
Anti-Goober. If you find it feel free to post a link. I'm on mobile so maybe that's why?

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Anti-Goober

- Ditch the dressing room pics. You have the same one in there twice, you aren't smiling, and it doesn't show off you/your personality better than any of the other pics.
- Drop the Snapchat Filter pic too. You're hiding behind it.
- Add a pic of you smiling, or something more similar to your lead pic. Most of the rest are just neutral.

- The second sentence of your self-summary is a run-on sentence.
- "I like being mean to people I like"...ehhhhhh
- Your typical friday night is too typical. Try to jazz it up a little. Make it different from the thousands of other profiles that boil down to "going out or netflix"
- Damn you love eggs, the gym, and your resting bastard face
 

Scotch

Member
The pics need some work but the profile itself is pretty hilarious.

I'd get rid of the mirror selfie, the photo of you holding the toy gun, and the one with the pink flowers on top.
 
If you have to have to ask my age after guessing wrong in my favor by a decade, then it doesn't matter.

It's like drug testing to see who the "bad" employees are.
 

Kyne

Member
Why wait for the weekend? People are checking for dates for the weekend and out during that weekend. Which means you've got a potential additional week of waiting for responses to messages you've send. No maybe, do it now, get it over with. Jump in.

I think about this a lot. Like, what if I had been days away from meeting the perfect girl?

In the end it's best not to think that way. If it's meant to be it's meant to be.

Did this last week. I had pretty good success with OKC (my refusal to use Facebook hinders dating apps and is super annoying) but none of the people I went out with had any sort of spark or follow up interest on my end. Except one girl. But she moved away because of course she did. Kinda just floating around now. Have a mess of a friendship with this other girl that I think we just decided to not talk anymore which is fine. Friends at work are inviting me out and it's women in their thirties getting drunk so that's fun at least.

Being 10 years younger than everyone in the office kinda sucks though.

Yeah.. 3 years ago I jumped on the APP and the first girl I messaged went out on a date with me.. and then we dated for 3 years.. :\ I doubt I'll have that kind of luck this time around.

Anti-Goober. If you find it feel free to post a link. I'm on mobile so maybe that's why?

"Are super chatty and admit that cats are the superior pet in every way imaginable."

i'll just say this is going to alienate tons of women, btw.
 

Astral

Member
The pics need some work but the profile itself is pretty hilarious.

I'd get rid of the mirror selfie, the photo of you holding the toy gun, and the one with the pink flowers on top.

I didn't even know those were there tbh. Must've been fb. I completely agree with the mirror selfie but three of my friends said it was good. One was a girl. I thought they were out of their minds.

I'm not sure what to put in the "you should message me if" section. I was tired last night and just half asses it. I'm sure the one I currently have will alienate people if they take it seriously.
 

gaiages

Banned
If you have to have to ask my age after guessing wrong in my favor by a decade, then it doesn't matter.

It's like drug testing to see who the "bad" employees are.

People regularly think I'm 21/22 and I don't know if I should consider that a good thing (hey I look young!) or a bad thing (professionally no one takes me seriously)

lol at the drug testing thing, so true...

"Are super chatty and admit that cats are the superior pet in every way imaginable."

i'll just say this is going to alienate tons of women, btw.

I don't understand what's the big problem with stating a pet preference in general? If you don't like cats or dogs you generally don't want to date a person who LOVES the animal you dislike. If you hit it off and don't like the pet then it becomes a 'it or me' scenario and that's bad for everyone involved. I flat out wouldn't date anyone who had a dog
because I was allergic but still
because if it got to that serious point, the dog would cause serious contention in a relationship.

Of course like most things I ramble about, matters way less in a hooking up scenario
unless you're allergic, one time I broke out during sexy times because my bf played around with the family dog earlier in the day and didn't shower right away, that was... bad...
 
Let me ask you a question. If you find someone attractive, and they are fun does age matter?

I more meant it's a pain cause they have more actual life commitments than I do at my age, so it's more difficult to go and do stuff. It wasn't an indictment on them not being dateable or anything in that regard. Most of my OKC dates were 5-7 years older than me and never had an issue.

Why do you refuse to use Facebook? Privacy stuff? I don't use Facebook but had to create one just for Tinder (it's the only app that people use in this city), just put some photos for my profile and basic info like where I'm from. Actually I never use it, but yes, it would be could if you can create accounts without Facebook.

Privacy mostly, yeah. I hate that a lot of jobs take the time to look at social media profiles when it shouldn't bee any of their business, so I just don't have any directly tied to me. It's dumb and antiquated but can't shake the feeling. And not to be down on myself or anything, but I probably wouldn't fair the best on Tinder anyway, real talk. Just not interesting enough (trying to change that now that I've graduated and have more time) to have any good photos right now.
 

Kyne

Member
I don't understand what's the big problem with stating a pet preference in general? If you don't like cats or dogs you generally don't want to date a person who LOVES the animal you dislike. If you hit it off and don't like the pet then it becomes a 'it or me' scenario and that's bad for everyone involved. I flat out wouldn't date anyone who had a dog
because I was allergic but still
because if it got to that serious point, the dog would cause serious contention in a relationship.[/SPOILER]

nothing wrong with preference at all! I'm just making a call out to his pseudo-filter.

If he's okay with that, then all is well (=
 

gaiages

Banned
nothing wrong with preference at all! I'm just making a call out to his pseudo-filter.

If he's okay with that, then all is well (=

oooooooooh. I hadn't looked at his profile, so I took the wrong meaning there.

Keep on moving everyone, nothing to see here
 

Ledbetter

Member
I've had people I chatted with on OKC suddenly and "mysteriously" appear on my 'who to add' feed on Facebook on multiple occasions, so I don't blame his hesitation.

That said it's not hard to make a throwaway Facebook account and just link that instead.

Yeah, I think Facebook will use whatever information you have stored to make suggestions for friends. Actually, I did a throwaway account just because of that with an email I don't use on my phone because I think for some reason it will start recommeding me contacts I have on Whatsapp *puts on tin foil hat*

I didn't even know those were there tbh. Must've been fb. I completely agree with the mirror selfie but three of my friends said it was good. One was a girl. I thought they were out of their minds.

I'm not sure what to put in the "you should message me if" section. I was tired last night and just half asses it. I'm sure the one I currently have will alienate people if they take it seriously.

Cool, another Parks and Rec fan!

The only things I'd change would be adding a pic of you smiling and changing the 'you should message me' section, because of course dogs are better.
 
There is just one girl on OKCupid in my whole state 😂😂😂😂, she is very cute I should send her a message, but I can't think of anything else outside of boring stuff like Hi!! 🤔
 
Can you guys rate my Okc profile? I made it last night and I'm not really satisfied with it. I'm sure it can use more tweaks. A friend of mine said it was hilarious and she loved it but she's biased so I don't trust her. I know the pictures can use massive improvements. Those are a work in progress atm since I haven't really bee able to go out lately. I know I really need one of an outdoor activity for example.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile

The second sentence has way too many commas. Also, what's a 'fluffier omelette?'

The 'six things' list also could use some tweaking, probably. And looking for casual sex can sometimes be a red flag.
 

WolfeTone

Member
There is just one girl on OKCupid in my whole state 😂😂😂😂, she is very cute I should send her a message, but I can't think of anything else outside of boring stuff like Hi!! 🤔

Maybe start with a joke? Or talk about something in her profile. Hi is one of the worst ways to open a conversation and will generally only work if you're very good looking.
 

Ledbetter

Member
There is just one girl on OKCupid in my whole state ��������, she is very cute I should send her a message, but I can't think of anything else outside of boring stuff like Hi!! ��

Is there anything on her profile pictures or bio that you can talk about? Also, where are you from that there is just one girl on a dating app?
 

jimmypython

Member
There is just one girl on OKCupid in my whole state 😂😂😂😂, she is very cute I should send her a message, but I can't think of anything else outside of boring stuff like Hi!! 🤔

what? did you set many filters for search?

but yeah send her a message for sure. Good luck :)
 
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