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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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C

chicnstu

Neo Member
What if five separate psychologists/therapists have no idea how to improve the anxiety? For alcohol intolerance, I mean when I drink everything is worse. There is no "liquid courage" effect no matter the amount.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
chicnstu said:
What if five separate psychologists/therapists have no idea how to improve the anxiety? For alcohol intolerance, I mean when I drink everything is worse. There is no "liquid courage" effect no matter the amount.
Click to expand...

There's more than five of those in your city. Time for a sixth

Also you don't need to drink to meet someone?

EDIT: and please don't keep going BUT WHAT IF THIS AND THAT because we're not here to be a pity party.
 
T

TheLostBigBoss

Banned
chicnstu said:
What if five separate psychologists/therapists have no idea how to improve the anxiety? For alcohol intolerance, I mean when I drink everything is worse. There is no "liquid courage" effect no matter the amount.
Click to expand...

Same thing? Keep looking and trying different things to fix your current ailments.

If what you say is true and you can't even hold a conversation, then dating isn't on the table. You need to better yourself first.

You don't need to drink to go on dates, and obviously if it makes your anxiety worst, then don't drink.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
chicnstu said:
What serious dating advice is given to someone with anxiety, mental fog preventing the ability to hold a conversation if the courage to approach was found, and alcohol intolerance?
Click to expand...

chicnstu said:
What if five separate psychologists/therapists have no idea how to improve the anxiety? For alcohol intolerance, I mean when I drink everything is worse. There is no "liquid courage" effect no matter the amount.
Click to expand...

Time for more therapists then. You wont have a healthy relationship til you figure this out.

Work on getting some healthy friendships and study how to engage in discussion. If you cant hold a convo it's not goinh to be pretty. Start small.
 
K

Krauser Kat

Member
chicnstu said:
What if five separate psychologists/therapists have no idea how to improve the anxiety? For alcohol intolerance, I mean when I drink everything is worse. There is no "liquid courage" effect no matter the amount.
Click to expand...

Unless you find someone who is like your anxiety voltron and you two combine into this mecha of sober anxiety.

Find a way to have fun in your life regardless of your problems. When you find something in that you truly enjoy, it is going to show in your attitudes and your passion for it. Talk about that thing.

Also therapy. I go just to talk and every week we find some little kibble of food for thought. Am i addicted to dating, do i enjoy the stories of dating rather then dating itself, am i running away from something by being so busy, do i find thrill in the game? real questions that help mold who i am and why i want a partner or do the things i do.

If you can afford it, do it.

The superficial stuff like how you look and dress is important in getting in the door. The more dates you go on even if you are awkward as fuck will be learning experiences. With online dating, learn to be who you want to be and just learn. Stop looking at bad dates as bad experiences, dont put people on pedestals and fall in love with profiles. Swipe right, say hi, get a date and meet people.
 
C

chicnstu

Neo Member
Thanks for the responses everyone. I only mentioned alcohol because a common suggestion I get from friends is "Drink more, you'll loosen up." Guess it's time to try another therapist. Funny thing is I'm military and my job is public speaking - giving sometimes hour long briefings to leadership above me. It's a struggle but it has changed me for the better.
 
A

asagami_

Banned
Welp, my friends are going to hangout with me in my house. And yeah this girl's going to be here, too.

I won't drink beer today. It's simple to ask a date, right?
Definitively I won't drink beer too fast... or mix beer and whisky.
 
V

vypek

Member
Megalosaro said:
What is the optimal way to block all your car windows so that you have some god damned privacy.
Click to expand...


Never heard of an optimal way to block windows. If in the car the only thing that I've noticed that tends to work is distant parking in an area that has a few cars but not a lot. Like the far end of a large parking lot or top level of a parking garage. At least in my experience
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
asagami_ said:
Welp, my friends are going to hangout with me in my house. And yeah this girl's going to be here, too.

I won't drink beer today. It's simple to ask a date, right?
Definitively I won't drink beer too fast... or mix beer and whisky.
Click to expand...

It's the easiest thing in the world.

What are they going to be doing? Chat her up. Find something youre both interested in and then ask her to do it with you..
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
chicnstu said:
Thanks for the responses everyone. I only mentioned alcohol because a common suggestion I get from friends is "Drink more, you'll loosen up." Guess it's time to try another therapist. Funny thing is I'm military and my job is public speaking - giving sometimes hour long briefings to leadership above me. It's a struggle but it has changed me for the better.
Click to expand...

Oh god, are you using .mil providers? That could be the problem. (AF officer here. Never did. Didn't want it on my record. I was stupid.) I don't know; you might have better luck with those MFLCs...

PM me if you want. I had major anxiety all my life and my deployment exacerbated it. It's settled down now immensely, but I mostly did it myself, as paradoxical as that sounds.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
asagami_ said:
Welp, my friends are going to hangout with me in my house. And yeah this girl's going to be here, too.

I won't drink beer today. It's simple to ask a date, right?
Definitively I won't drink beer too fast... or mix beer and whisky.
Click to expand...

Just say you have an alchohol allergy so you won't get harassed to just have one drink.
 
P

Peltz

Member
Man... gf has out of town since Wednesday and won't be back until Sunday. I'm already missing her pretty badly.

Is this normal? Feels like it's been ages since I've seen her. Her not being here is so weird.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Peltz said:
Man... gf has out of town since Wednesday and won't be back until Sunday. I'm already missing her pretty badly.

Is this normal? Feels like it's been ages since I've seen her. Her not being here is so weird.
Click to expand...

yeah, that's normal. I miss my gf after about 1 day of being apart.

always crazy bacon said:
The best way to block all your car windows for privacy is to kick out your mental roommate and use the privacy of your own home. Also don't fuck in cars it's uncomfortable as hell, unless your into dogging.
Click to expand...

My apartment isn't too big a problem. This was more for when we are in her area.

I wasn't planning on boning, just wanna be able to make out in peace lol. Maybe third base would be nice.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
thesoapster said:
You're right, I will only ever talk about success here. Never struggle, nor issues. Sorry to fuck with your fengshui.
Click to expand...

What response did you want other than us to indulge in pity?

You can talk about "struggles," but you experienced something really minor. Of course strangers might not have wanted you to join their group. How does this have literally anything to do with dating?

Seriously, I'm making Dating-Age |OT7| Tough Love.

Because y'all need it.
 
R

_Ryo_

Member
Pattycakes said:
That "my roommate stole my other roommate's cash" was straight out of Seinfeld I swear
Click to expand...


LookAtMeGo said:
That was a wild thread
Click to expand...

George: So Jerry, you'd never believe it. My new room mate is accusing ME of stealing her wallet
Jerry: Room mate?
George: Not important! $400, Jerry. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS.
Jerry: Well?
George: Well?
Jerry: Did you take it?
George: No, I didn't take it! She had it tucked into her purse
George: Do I look like a person who could hide the fact he stole money from his room mate?
Jerry: You look like you're hiding something.
140011938_Face_Seinfeld.jpg
Click to expand...

I am aware that this was very offtopic. In my defense, I don't have any!

I do have a strange question for dating gaf though. Do you ever feel uncomfortable when you see someone clearly show interest in someone else and the person is totally oblivious to all the signs? It drives me insane and I just wanna yell out "Yo, he/she is into you" But I don't.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
_Ryo_ said:
I do have a strange question for dating gaf though. Do you ever feel uncomfortable when you see someone clearly show interest in someone else and the person is totally oblivious to all the signs? It drives me insane and I just wanna yell out "Yo, he/she is into you" But I don't.
Click to expand...

For you it's uncomfortable, but for dating GAF it was a Tuesday. I've learned form here that guys are terrible at reading "signs" or "flirting" and it's always better to just ask them for a date and either get accepted or rejected right there and move on with your life.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Megalosaro said:
What is the optimal way to block all your car windows so that you have some god damned privacy.
Click to expand...

Megalosaro said:
My apartment isn't too big a problem. This was more for when we are in her area.

I wasn't planning on boning, just wanna be able to make out in peace lol. Maybe third base would be nice.
Click to expand...

Have you given up on kicking out your creepy roommate?

Like I get that you want to get down to business in her area, and can't do it at her place because of her mom (or someone else?), but is a car now your last resort for some loving?
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Messofanego said:
Have you given up on kicking out your creepy roommate?

Like I get that you want to get down to business in her area, and can't do it at her place because of her mom (or someone else?), but is a car now your last resort for some loving?
Click to expand...
Mega is the one who would need to move out, iirc - the crazy one owns the place or something.
j.rob said:
Yeah you are right I should have just forgot about her from the first moment she stopped replying. Maybe it was just the thought that I know people are not always free to reply or talk so I don't just give up pretty much instantly on someone.

She just kinda caught me off guard last night while drunk.
Personally from my perspective I just find it rude that she obviously can and has replied to me over basic stuff, but when I just ask something a little bit more personal like "how are you?" she just ignores me. Fair enough if she wasn't interested but how hard is it to just say that you are not?

She replied to me last night telling me to not message/send her anything unless its to do with her specifically after sending that mass snapchat picture to like 40 people. Yet when I did message her specifically not too long ago to have the most simple of conversation I get ignored? Thats ironic.



Looking back my post did make me seem really try hard. I wish I had saved this for the morning after but oh well, unfiltered j.rob on GAF.

Yeah its over and done with, but not going to lie I am still salty, I will admit that. But like I said above its more about just being blatantly ignored over a simple hello rather than not meeting her or the fact things never went past a week of decent conversation when we first matched.

I would get it if I did something drastic and dumb like sent her a dick pic or a bunch of drunken, barely readable bullshit confessing my love. But just saying hi for essentially the second time after weeks of no contact, and after she literally just replied to me over a picture of her food at the time?
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An appropriate response to our posts would be "yeah, fuck her."
Not another long post. Again, you're thinking and writing about her way too much. Gotta move on, buddy - that's the game.
PancakeBurglar said:
So much this!! If you want results you need to put in the work. I get a good amount of matches and can get dates without too much trouble but I'm still trying to get better photos and do what I can to look better and improve my social skills. Bottom line is if you put in half ass pictures you can expected mediocre results with your matches.
Click to expand...
I love when they refuse to put any effort into themselves, and then blame "online dating" or women being shallow or whatever instead of looking inward. Self improvement info is out there, bros. Lots of good style YouTube channels, tutorials on taking great photos/selfies, making a good profile, etc. Tons of cool shit to do in the world to have an interesting life. Get on it and stop blaming the system!
Y'all think I just rolled out of bed looking this good? 😂😂😂
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Messofanego said:
Have you given up on kicking out your creepy roommate?

Like I get that you want to get down to business in her area, and can't do it at her place because of her mom (or someone else?), but is a car now your last resort for some loving?
Click to expand...

We split time between her area and mine. When we are in my area, it isn't an issue. Asshole isn't home much these days, and when he is we have reached a stable area where we don't talk to each other or bother each other. It's pretty nice. Just strictly business.

Edit: I pay about 400, he pays about 600 because he has the master bedroom (which includes a bathroom) plus dedictated parking area. We are both on the lease. We also have anot her roommate, who pays 300. He lives in the living room.

Just thinking about flexibility. It'd be able to think it's possible that we will fool around a little when I go to see her.

Plus I think it would be cool to at least try loving in a car even just once. Never done that before.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Jzero said:
Has anyone successfully dated someone they didn't have much in common with?
Click to expand...

I'm doing that right now. I'll let you know how it goes...

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a concern. But it's mostly when we're apart. When we're together, we're either staring into each other's eyes (yes, seriously) or in bed. I don't know what to make of it. We have some things in common, but not a whole lot. I still really like her, though.
 
artsi

artsi

Member
Jzero said:
Has anyone successfully dated someone they didn't have much in common with?
Click to expand...

One for 5 years and other one for 4 years.

I don't think I can name one thing we had in common when we started dating. But we developed common interests and activities along the relationship.
 
V

Valkerionseven

Member
Jzero said:
Has anyone successfully dated someone they didn't have much in common with?
Click to expand...

Bruh, literally came to bring this up haha.

Lady wants to meet up next weekend, I initially randomly asked if she wanted to go to lunch sometime, instead of the usual drinking all night or close to it stuff. She was like yeah lets go do something. Either way she wanted to go for a drive somewhere anywhere really, I figure we might go to one of the next towns over, the beach or something...

She suddenly drops the mountain climbing/rock climbing bomb... man I am not in shape enough for this lady haha. Shes way too active for my fitness level but shes nice so i will struggle through it I guess lol.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Valkerionseven said:
Bruh, literally came to bring this up haha.

Lady wants to meet up next weekend, I initially randomly asked if she wanted to go to lunch sometime, instead of the usual drinking all night or close to it stuff. She was like yeah lets go do something. Either way she wanted to go for a drive somewhere anywhere really, I figure we might go to one of the next towns over, the beach or something...

She suddenly drops the mountain climbing/rock climbing bomb... man I am not in shape enough for this lady haha. Shes way too active for my fitness level but shes nice so i will struggle through it I guess lol.
Click to expand...
Mountain climbing is awesome, you don't have to be in shape for it, just wear good shoes and enjoy!
 
P

Peltz

Member
Jzero said:
Has anyone successfully dated someone they didn't have much in common with?
Click to expand...
My GF and I are from different worlds. But there is still a lot of commonality between us. The most important thing is to have is good communication on things.

If you talk openly and honestly together, and that part of your connection is strong, the other stuff (e.g. hobbies) become a lot less important to have in common.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Don't message your Tinder matches drunks as fuck. Sober me would have actually checked the gif all the way to the end before sending it. . . Lawd I took an L last night.
 
X

Xun

Member
Xun said:
We never truly defined the relationship, even though we said we like where things are going.

With the latter question I think that's where my friends were coming from. That said she knows I'm going to Paris, just not who with.

Paris was booked when I had only seen the Romanian girl a couple of times.
Click to expand...
My friends are still going on about this.

It's as if they're trying to make me feel guilty, even if they mean well. One of them was saying shit like this:

"If it were me I'd have a guilty conscience with the Romanian girl down the line. Whilst you're not technically official, in her eyes I reckon you two are. It may pop up in conversation!"

At the time of booking I saw Paris as a relatively innocent trip, but truthfully I wish it wasn't happening now*

It's honestly driving me nuts and I'm not sure where to go from here?

*
I do need my Disney fix though...
 
V

Valkerionseven

Member
Messofanego said:
Mountain climbing is awesome, you don't have to be in shape for it, just wear good shoes and enjoy!
Click to expand...

Yeah Im not particularly out of shape, just not very active for these types of things. I really enjoyed the accomplishment after hiking in Hong Kong two months ago, and the few others times ive done it but mannnnnnnn its the middle of summer in south Japan. It's been well in the 35+ degrees each day lol. Gonna die.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Xun said:
My friends are still going on about this.

It's as if they're trying to make me feel guilty, even if they mean well. One of them was saying shit like this:

"If it were me I'd have a guilty conscience with the Romanian girl down the line. Whilst you're not technically official, in her eyes I reckon you two are. It may pop up in conversation!”

At the time of booking I saw Paris as a relatively innocent trip, but truthfully I wish it wasn't happening now*

It's honestly driving me nuts and I'm not sure where to go from here?

*
I do need my Disney fix though...
Click to expand...
Did you mention you're going with another girl? Cause I wouldn't mention that if I was going to Disneyland, I would just say "I'm going with a friend to Paris just for a little fun". They wouldn't need to know any further details.
 
X

Xun

Member
Messofanego said:
Did you mention you're going with another girl? Cause I wouldn't mention that if I was going to Disneyland, I would just say "I'm going with a friend to Paris just for a little fun". They wouldn't need to know any further details.
Click to expand...
All I've said to the Romanian was that I'm going to Paris with a mate.

My friends are implying I'll have a guilty conscience for not "telling the truth" down the line...
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Xun said:
My friends are still going on about this.

It's as if they're trying to make me feel guilty, even if they mean well. One of them was saying shit like this:

"If it were me I'd have a guilty conscience with the Romanian girl down the line. Whilst you're not technically official, in her eyes I reckon you two are. It may pop up in conversation!”

At the time of booking I saw Paris as a relatively innocent trip, but truthfully I wish it wasn't happening now*

It's honestly driving me nuts and I'm not sure where to go from here?

*
I do need my Disney fix though...
Click to expand...

Are your friends white-knighting her, or do you really think she might see you as exclusive even though you haven't made it official? Do you think she's seeing other people still? Do you think she tells you about all of them?
 
X

Xun

Member
Messofanego said:
Ehh forget your friends trying to guilt trip you. Enjoy your time!
Click to expand...
I wish I could just forget about it, but it's really fucking with me at the moment.

It doesn't help I'm seeing the Kiwi tonight either.

Llyranor said:
Are your friends white-knighting her, or do you really think she might see you as exclusive even though you haven't made it official? Do you think she's seeing other people still? Do you think she tells you about all of them?
Click to expand...
I'm unsure, but I have a feeling she does see us as official.

I noticed on her blog a positive post that I'm 99.9% sure is about me.

If I wasn't going to Paris and the Romanian remained here for the summer I would've made things official a while back.
 
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