Oh him. I don't think he said anything to me though? I dunno lmao. In any case, I don't really care about having my picture on the internet, that's all 🤷🏻
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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love
- Thread starter Advocatus Diaboli
- Start date
Oh him. I don't think he said anything to me though? I dunno lmao. In any case, I don't really care about having my picture on the internet, that's all 🤷🏻
Sygma
Member
Get some of that self esteem back my dude. Is it really you being the problem, or her ?
Move on . Go out, hit the gym, do something to keep you sane and keep it together, don't appear like the desperate one. Women are always going away when they're sensing that things are going south and we men act like dogs, which never lead to anything good.
Seriously don't give into her shit. You do you and don't contact her until she does. Not saying it will be easy but for your own sanity I recommend doing this. Don't chase. Be the mountain, the figure of a guy that will not be shaken when she's doing shit stuff like that. Be strong <3
I'm still trying to get used to messaging out of a relationship, don't want to come across as too heavy handed.
Me and the girl at my work have been messaging every so often and we chatted through WhatsApp for a few hours the other day and she messaged me last night and we again chatted for a few hours. Haven't heard from her today but to be fair, she's doing a lot of work on her house this weekend so she's obviously pretty busy and I don't want to feel I'm coming on too heavy by bothering her, especially if I don't feel I've much to say apart from the usual "how are you, what you up to, plans for the weekend" etc.
Me and this girl have had a couple of moments on work nights out over the past couple of months (got a bit touchy with each other). We do talk fairly often outside work (couple of times a week probably) and it can be a little flirty at times, nothing too crazy though it's mostly just chatting about music, TV, films, comedy, what we like and don't like. The other girls at work have said she thinks I'm cute and funny as well so I'd say she's into me.
I'm basically just trying not to screw it up basically.
Me and the girl at my work have been messaging every so often and we chatted through WhatsApp for a few hours the other day and she messaged me last night and we again chatted for a few hours. Haven't heard from her today but to be fair, she's doing a lot of work on her house this weekend so she's obviously pretty busy and I don't want to feel I'm coming on too heavy by bothering her, especially if I don't feel I've much to say apart from the usual "how are you, what you up to, plans for the weekend" etc.
Me and this girl have had a couple of moments on work nights out over the past couple of months (got a bit touchy with each other). We do talk fairly often outside work (couple of times a week probably) and it can be a little flirty at times, nothing too crazy though it's mostly just chatting about music, TV, films, comedy, what we like and don't like. The other girls at work have said she thinks I'm cute and funny as well so I'd say she's into me.
I'm basically just trying not to screw it up basically.
LookAtMeGo
Member
You said it was 8 days ago you broke up? Are you sure shes not a rebound? If you actually like her like her, maybe give it a little bit and enjoy being single for a while. Or if youre just lookin to hook up then have at it.
I'm not too sure, I've never been much of a rebound guy to be honest, I've had times where I've enjoyed being single and times where I've jumped from one relationship to another pretty quickly.
I checked out of my relationship months ago anyway so as harsh as it sounds I don't really feel affected by it ending too much.
I'm gonna give it a bit of time I think, play it cool, keep talking with this girl and see how it goes. We'll see how things go during the next work night out which is either our Christmas night out in early November if we don't organise a last minute one earlier than that which tends to happen pretty often.
I've got plenty of nights out with friends organised over the next few weeks as well so I'll just see what happens I think.
So, I have a general question: on Tinder dates do you sometimes talk about your Tinder experiences on a Meta level?
I have a Tinder date on Sunday and this time around I basically asked her to have a coffee with me right after the match without any introduction at all. Surprisingly she said yes and now we are meeting up for a walk. I don't know ANYTHING about her, since the only thing written in her profile is literally 'bla'
I had some Tinder dates before, but usually at that point we have already chatted a lot for days and sometimes even weeks so I already knew what to talk about.
This date on Sunday is kind of exciting for me going in practically blind. Would you make this a subject of the conversation à la "Never had a date before that fast, this is exciting yadda yadda yadda..." and "How about you...yadda yadda yadda" and laugh about it together. I don't know... could be fun to share some experiences, but man... I'm not sure if it's a weird topic.
I have a Tinder date on Sunday and this time around I basically asked her to have a coffee with me right after the match without any introduction at all. Surprisingly she said yes and now we are meeting up for a walk. I don't know ANYTHING about her, since the only thing written in her profile is literally 'bla'
I had some Tinder dates before, but usually at that point we have already chatted a lot for days and sometimes even weeks so I already knew what to talk about.
This date on Sunday is kind of exciting for me going in practically blind. Would you make this a subject of the conversation à la "Never had a date before that fast, this is exciting yadda yadda yadda..." and "How about you...yadda yadda yadda" and laugh about it together. I don't know... could be fun to share some experiences, but man... I'm not sure if it's a weird topic.
So, I have a general question: on Tinder dates do you sometimes talk about your Tinder experiences on a Meta level?
I have a Tinder date on Sunday and this time around I basically asked her to have a coffee with me right after the match without any introduction at all. Surprisingly she said yes and now we are meeting up for a walk. I don't know ANYTHING about her, since the only thing written in her profile is literally 'bla'
I had some Tinder dates before, but usually at that point we have already chatted a lot for days and sometimes even weeks so I already knew what to talk about.
This date on Sunday is kind of exciting for me going in practically blind. Would you make this a subject of the conversation à la "Never had a date before that fast, this is exciting yadda yadda yadda..." and "How about you...yadda yadda yadda" and laugh about it together. I don't know... could be fun to share some experiences, but man... I'm not sure if it's a weird topic.
I've had first date conversations about the meta-dating game and Tinder. I'd ask someone what their worst Tinder date was other than this one.
I feel like your examples are the wrong approach though. Try to give the impression that you do exciting spontaneous shit like this all the time.
You say you don't know anything about her? That's great. Find that stuff out organically on the date by talking to her.
Megalosaro
Banned
Went and saw kingsmen by myself this morning. Got out of the theater and saw "is ok if I spend the night tonight" on my phone.
First time she had asked last minute.
Hell yes.
Gonna hit the gym together, then grab some food, then hit up a karaoke place. Then back to my home.
First time she had asked last minute.
Hell yes.
Gonna hit the gym together, then grab some food, then hit up a karaoke place. Then back to my home.
Jzero
Member
With women from OKC I do like talking about weird messages we've gotten but definitely not about actual date details since sometimes they can give too many details and I definitely don't want to know how many people they've banged recently.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Lmao I remember him. Was it the "I need a total facial reconstruction surgery to look perfect" rant or the "I need to find a shitload of steroids ASAP to maximise my alpha attraction levels" rant that you liked more? I found both to be equally hilarious and sad.
I've found "excluding this one, what's the worst message you've received on tinder? 🙃" works fairly well for starting a funny conversation on tinder.
Lots of girls seem to receive messages requesting threesomes, apparently.
LookAtMeGo
Member
That big boss lady from my work just sent me a friend request on facebook. Lord help me.
EchoChamber
Member
LookAtMeGo
Member
Im debating not accepting it. I got other things happening at the moment. Ahhh fuck I dunno. Shes milf as fuck
I have that girl from wed night over now. Shes actually really smart. As soon as this food settles its on.
I was pretty open and honest about my shit like partying too much and she doesnt seem to mind at all. Pkus she wouldnt ket me pay for dinner. Thats coo
Edit: it is done
I have that girl from wed night over now. Shes actually really smart. As soon as this food settles its on.
I was pretty open and honest about my shit like partying too much and she doesnt seem to mind at all. Pkus she wouldnt ket me pay for dinner. Thats coo
Edit: it is done
Do any of you get red flags if a woman you know doesn't have much of a serious side to her? I've mentioned her in my last post.
I was with her alone for a while, and we didn't really talk about anything that was worthwhile. I enjoyed the talk we had, but i just felt there wasn't much to remember.
It's worth noting that I've known of her for two years, but never really spoke to her until I broke one of her projects while operating in the workshop I go to. When I broke it, I felt horrible, so I wrote her a really sincere and neatly written note. Ever since that, we've been on each other's radar.
I heard from someone that she loved the cooking I did for the workshop, so I'm thinking of inviting her out to cook or get food. She's been hinting at wanting to get together and get food, but I like to go at my own pace.
I mean, our mannerisms are completely different, our interests are generally different despite her trying to force me to start a book reading between the two of us. Physically, were opposite. She's a short and petite Asian woman and I'm a 238 lb sentinel of a black guy.
Anyways, let's see what happens next week when I get her number and ask her out.
I was with her alone for a while, and we didn't really talk about anything that was worthwhile. I enjoyed the talk we had, but i just felt there wasn't much to remember.
It's worth noting that I've known of her for two years, but never really spoke to her until I broke one of her projects while operating in the workshop I go to. When I broke it, I felt horrible, so I wrote her a really sincere and neatly written note. Ever since that, we've been on each other's radar.
I heard from someone that she loved the cooking I did for the workshop, so I'm thinking of inviting her out to cook or get food. She's been hinting at wanting to get together and get food, but I like to go at my own pace.
I mean, our mannerisms are completely different, our interests are generally different despite her trying to force me to start a book reading between the two of us. Physically, were opposite. She's a short and petite Asian woman and I'm a 238 lb sentinel of a black guy.
Anyways, let's see what happens next week when I get her number and ask her out.
Congrats on using the word Sentinel to describe yourself. Really excelent wordchoice.
As for depth and conversation. Maybe she's just guarded and really good at smalltalk. If you can talk for a long time and enjoy eachothers company without getting bored thats a good sign.
Hope it all goes well
Edit: the biggest red flag is the different interests but at the very least getting to know her will help broaden your horizons so overall that should be a good thing.
Just curious, is this thread for mostly the beginning stages of dating (how to ask somebody out, questions about early dates etc...) or are there some longer term daters on here as well? In addition, whats the age range?
Im just trying to figure out if my question would fit in here or not.
Im just trying to figure out if my question would fit in here or not.
Ask anything. All types are here.
Thanks for the responses.
Well basically Im in a long term relationship, coming up on four years now. Shes an amazing woman in pretty much every way.
That said, Im in my mid 30s, one time divorced. My marriage was an awful experience. Even though the divorce was absolutely necessary, it was something I hope to never have to go through again. I guess the point is Im terrified of getting remarried.
So I guess Im looking for some advice or words of encouragement on how to get over it. My girlfriend would make an amazing wife and I dont want to lose her eventually.
Well basically Im in a long term relationship, coming up on four years now. Shes an amazing woman in pretty much every way.
That said, Im in my mid 30s, one time divorced. My marriage was an awful experience. Even though the divorce was absolutely necessary, it was something I hope to never have to go through again. I guess the point is Im terrified of getting remarried.
So I guess Im looking for some advice or words of encouragement on how to get over it. My girlfriend would make an amazing wife and I dont want to lose her eventually.
Does your gf want to get married?
I'd encourage you not to get married again since you don't want to and it's terrifying for you. Marriage isn't validation for your relationship. You can love her without it.
Yolo and all that, but for real life is too short to do shit you don't want to do.
I'd start with asking (or asking yourself), how is this current relationship different than your marriage. Did you go to therapy during/after your divorce (couples and/or just yourself)?
LookAtMeGo
Member
Lol. Only had one pint at dinner and a glass of wine at home. Not even a mild buzz. I was trying to type quickly.
So yeah I dunno. I like her, shes nice. See how it goes I guess. She just moved here a few weeks ago. She got a job as a bartender at the Irish pub I like to go to pretty often. That could potentially backfire since I've hooked up with another bartender and server there. Me and the server had a thing for a bit. Not sure what my reputation is there with the staff these days.
She seems really excited to hang out again. Made plans for after the weekend. Still want to take it slow. Definitely not rushing into anything. I still want to see whats up with the nurse from the other night.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Not quite. I matched a girl in Tinder that works with my ex. Never shagged her. I shagged a girl at my work who works alongside another one I shagged at my work. Lol
But this is the pub I broke my toe at being a drunken idiot and the girl that works there said she was embarassed to know me.
The server from this pub I had a thing with was a story I dont think I shared. Really hot blonde girl that I was really into and I was working on it for a while. We hooked up a few times and it was some of the best sex I ever had and I tried to lock it down then I brought her to a party once and had to bail cuz I had to work and I left her there and she ended up fucking one of my best buds.
That was from before I started posting in dating age
While you're right that it's not validation, there are numerous benefits of a marriage that make it worth considering if you love a person long term.
As cold as it sounds, getting married for love isn't the only reason to do it
Widdle Puppy
Banned
Last night I had a really good date with a ton of sexual chemistry. We went to a bar and talked for a good bit. After we went back to my place and listened to some music and chatted. Things started to get heated and we started to make out. She conveyed to me that she was uneasy sleeping with me on the first date so we didn't but we cuddled a good bit and made out. I got her an uber early in the morning and kissed her goodbye. So here is my question: when I see her next should I kiss her hello? How should I go in? Like how do you hello kiss?
LookAtMeGo
Member
If youve already been making out you're good to go. Just go in for a hello hug and get your face in there. In my experience, a hello kiss is just a quick peck. Not like a sexy open mouth tongue wrestle.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Tonight I had a massive fuck-up and shits gonna be weird as fuck hold me Gaf
Was at the club tonight with some people I know. I had a woman older than myself grinding on me when I was sitting down, running her hands through my hair and saying she wanted me to go on back to her yacht with her etc. Anyway, she gets up to say hi to her friend and another girl who'd been sitting close to me and constantly commenting how she wanted to find someone just starts making out with me randomly. I stopped it after a bit because I felt uncomfortable about it before she started again, so I pull away and am like "stop, I'm way too drunk right now" and then she had some weird "now you've made it awkward!" rant.
All of this while the other woman was standing there with her friend, like "what the heck is this?", but then she gets her and her friend to twerk in front of me, asking if I'm keen to dance and shit etc, but by this time I feel like I'm going to pass out. So then I just say I'm catching a taxi home and all three are a little disappointed but understand. I then left, at like 2am.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem except that the woman who was initially dancing on me and the girl I kissed are both in my law class and I have to work with them on shit constantly over the next 2 months and I have a feeling when I'm sober in the morning I'm gonna be pretty mad aye? I'm already sad though because I'm feeling shit
Was at the club tonight with some people I know. I had a woman older than myself grinding on me when I was sitting down, running her hands through my hair and saying she wanted me to go on back to her yacht with her etc. Anyway, she gets up to say hi to her friend and another girl who'd been sitting close to me and constantly commenting how she wanted to find someone just starts making out with me randomly. I stopped it after a bit because I felt uncomfortable about it before she started again, so I pull away and am like "stop, I'm way too drunk right now" and then she had some weird "now you've made it awkward!" rant.
All of this while the other woman was standing there with her friend, like "what the heck is this?", but then she gets her and her friend to twerk in front of me, asking if I'm keen to dance and shit etc, but by this time I feel like I'm going to pass out. So then I just say I'm catching a taxi home and all three are a little disappointed but understand. I then left, at like 2am.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem except that the woman who was initially dancing on me and the girl I kissed are both in my law class and I have to work with them on shit constantly over the next 2 months and I have a feeling when I'm sober in the morning I'm gonna be pretty mad aye? I'm already sad though because I'm feeling shit
LookAtMeGo
Member
My man!!
Sorry youre feeling like shit though. Sounds like my kinda night.
Just blame it on the booze.
Sorry youre feeling like shit though. Sounds like my kinda night.
Just blame it on the booze.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
The few times I went to a club I just get hammered and share a hookah with friends. I feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
I was supposed to go on a second date with her tonight but she went radio silent this afternoon. kinda sucks :\
Met a girl on POF a few months back. We decided to go steady so we have been bf/gf since June or so. Problem is although I do like her I'm not sure I like her enough to continue the relationship. I feel like I took at stab at attempting a relationship with one of my internet dates to see how it would go. I'm usually the one that has always bailed out so I felt I should give it a try.
She has been ramping things up a lot lately- meeting her family, telling me she is developing "deep feelings" and talking about moving in together etc. I hate getting in deeper into this stuff knowing I can't fully commit. We have a trip together planned for the Halloween weekend. Feeling kinda guilty cos she is such a sweet girl and good for me.
She has been ramping things up a lot lately- meeting her family, telling me she is developing "deep feelings" and talking about moving in together etc. I hate getting in deeper into this stuff knowing I can't fully commit. We have a trip together planned for the Halloween weekend. Feeling kinda guilty cos she is such a sweet girl and good for me.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Was the date supposed to be today?
I know that feeling. When its not there its not there though. Its tough because you dont want to hurt them but at the same time you feel like an ass for leading them on. Its especially tough when they havent given you a reason to split outside of you just not being into it enough. I was on the receving end of a split up like that and it hurts but at the end of the day I was happy she spoke up and not wasted any more of my time.
If its how you really feel then you just gota speak up. Just make sure its what you want because I did that with my last GF only to realize after that I was running from my feelings and my fear of commitment and I regretted it more than anything.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
yup, tonight. things got pretty hot last night and I feel like it ended on feelings of passion. maybe this is her way of pumping the brakes some? would of been two nights in a row.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Sorry I missed the "tonight" in your first post. Ah fuck. Just give it a bit and see if she gets back to you. Could be a pumping the breaks on for sure. A ghosting seems likely. Were you guys drunk last night?
Sounds like this is just moving too fast and you are getting jitters. If you have someone who you think is good for you then you have something real. That can be scary. Don't run from your feelings. Put your cards on the table (in a way that won't offend her) and go from there.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
yea def tipsy
kinda sucks to get ghosted but w/e
we had amazing chemistry all night and some great conversation
she is kinda shy... at one point she asked me if she said anything wrong to me that hurt my feelings and I said no.. I'm wondering if she feels embarrassed or something or if I did something wrong :\
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I'm awake, fuck my life. Oh well, I'll deal with this dumb shit if it comes up. Not going out with her again though, now I remember telling her "No, I don't want to kiss you" like 10 times but she waited until I was way more drunk and like kinda forced it on me. Not cool.
Anyway, I'm forgetting that shit. I'm going to hit the beach today, get a good workout in and I've spent the morning reinstalling tinder, because why the fuck not. I wish I got more than 4 hours sleep but whatever 👍🏼
Anyway, I'm forgetting that shit. I'm going to hit the beach today, get a good workout in and I've spent the morning reinstalling tinder, because why the fuck not. I wish I got more than 4 hours sleep but whatever 👍🏼
Earthbound64
Banned
Hey, that pretty much describes me.
My outlook on things is that I try not to hold what my ex did against anyone else. Just because my ex was (whatever my opinion of her is), doesn't mean other people are going to be that. And why would I want to miss out on something because of how she was? She ruined enough of my life already, why would I let her ruin more of it?
So, same thing for you - just because your ex was (whatever your opinion of her is), obviously the girl you're seeing now isn't that, so why would you hold how your ex was against her, and possibly have her mess up your life again?
PancakeBurglar
Member
My partner has been sick the past few days, running a fever. What kind of things do you guys do to help your sick SOs? So far I'm just keeping her company and bringing her glasses of water and trying to give her words of encouragement. Wish I could do more.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Yeah the booze man. It can loosen ya up and make you feel comfortable. But sometimes it can make us a little too comfy and get us to do things we might otherwise not do sober. So when you're sober again you might have a little regret. Not that you did anything wrong. Just sometimes if things went past where they expected because of the booze, they might feel embarassed for sure.
Give it a few days and if you dont hear back you can reach out again and see if they still want to meet up but if nothing after that then just drop it.
She might also just feel like crap if you were all tipsy last night and just want some rest but doesnt want to shut you down.
Spoiled Milk
Banned
Man, why is everyone so thin in SoCal?
All these damn vegans!