Support NeoGAF

[spineduke]

there is much crow to be served - good job OP

 

[Style]

Everything went better than expected.jpg


Props on you for looking for an explanation, OP, instead of bailing directly and cause chaos.

 

[Nere]

Happy that everything worked out well for you OP!!

 

[afroguy10]

So after 1 and a half years you only just got to meet her family and don't live with each other?

Hahah, what?

Theres no countdown on when you need to move in with someone!

A year and a half is plenty enough time to get to know someone. How long do some of you think people should date before deciding on marriage?

Seriously man, there's not some kind of cosmic clock ticking down. My parents dated for 4 years before they got engaged, been happily married for 30 years now. My friends were together since they were 15 and got married this year after 12 years together, everyone is different.

 

[BuddyTheBestPuppy]

I had a similar problem a last week

Found out girl was dating someone else when i gave her the ticket for a concert and she dedicated the songs to other guy and put it in Instagram. After that i actually tried to forgive her, we moved on, but shee kept seeing the guy.

I find out that she invite him to all of the college degree acts, even though i was the one who pay for his college Thesis, i payed at least 2 or 3 semesters, i drive her everyday to his home.

In fact, i remember that when she was doing the thesis, his uncle got sick. I drive her everyday to college, to home, to the hospital, to college, to home. 2 months later after that some guys enter her house and stole everything from her, so i payed for clothes, bought her a new phone...etc.

Later, i give her money to leave the country (my money from work). A few weeks later (last week) i found everything about the guy and what she was doing.

Worst parts is...she still have my money, two little dogs i love and i don't think its fair for me not being able to see them, and a fuck ton of feelings broken. I even bought a fucking ring to propose her on her birthday (october 23)

You guys think OP has a trouble? i lost almost everything for a single women. I was with her with 4 years (from start to finish of college). And she was actually dating the guy from a year ago, i didn't knew. I don't know if i am too much of a good guy, or just a

Dammnnnn


Edit you should take out the f part at the end. Quick way getting banned. I mean I understand you are upset and all

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

welp, i'm happpy for you OP! I was dumb to say to dump her, but at least i said "talk to her" just before that...

i'm safe right... right?

lol

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

Different priorities for different people and all that. Can't help the fact that I'm personally put off by the idea of romantic relationships.

That's fair enough I guess. If youre not into relationships that's your perogative.

To say that any relationship you get into will more than likely end up in you getting cheated on is a little extreme though.

 

[TheContact]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

Glad it all worked out. But what was up with her meeting this guy while you met her parents?

 

[Mozendo]

I'm glad that everything is okay, and good job on talking to her instead of breaking up with her via text.
Also I think it's really sweet that she showed you the messages and called him. Not from experience, but some of my friend's exes freaked out when they got accused of cheating which of course only soured things even more.

Hope you two make it!

 

[TheMan]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

Crises averted and you got laid.

It was a good day

 

[WordsintheWater]

I'm glad it all worked out, but they met once a couple months ago? Wasn't she in a long term relationship with you at that point? Why would she meet up with a dude who was clearly pestering her to date him while she was with you?

 

[andythinkpad]

Edit: oh man that guy was faking it the whole time, that's internet pathetic.

 

[Senteevs]

Phase 2.
Go and kick that lying idiot's ass. He spread untrue rumours about your girl.

 

[Greedings]

So OP, can you ask your sister why she didn't say "Oh that girl is my brother's gf"?

Seems weird as shit that your sister would introduce your gf as her "friend" who might possibly be single.

 

[thesoapster]

Hahahahaha, great ending, and good on you for keeping a level head.

 

[Always-honest]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

Well, that sounds like things are more okay than we thought.
Congrats on the sex.

 

[Harmen]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

Yeah, that checks out. Damn, so that guy was pulling of shenanigans after all. What a creep that he approaches your sister and says he is dating your girlfriend. Well, this is why people should always talk matter through before judging. Good job op and I am happy it turned out well. I still think the dating app is a bit odd, but many people do odd things that are ultimately harmless.

 

[Ark]

Glad to see one of these stories end happily for once on GAF.

Props, OP!

 

[witchedwiz]

snipped

you should confront her, if things checks out (for good) you can smooth over, if stuff instead is still fishy, cut your ties.. ez..

 

[sunshine and gasoline]

Glad that this didn’t end in heartbreak for you, op.

 

[like.a.ser]

Unexpectedly happy ending. Good on you OP!

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

You handled this well OP. Well done. Great ending lol.

As for the people who seem stunned about the whole 1.5 years and talking about marrage

I met my wife and after 3 months we bought a house. then 2 years later got married. 7 years later we are still happily married and have a wonderful son.

People do these things differently. Sometimes you just know.

you should confront her, if things checks out (for good) you can smooth over, if stuff instead is still fishy, cut your ties.. ez..

You missed a rather vital update. People here really need to not jump to a conclusion quite as quickly as they do based on 1 post with no doubt missing and vital information. Happens every time.

So OP, can you ask your sister why she didn't say "Oh that girl is my brother's gf"?

Seems weird as shit that your sister would introduce your gf as her "friend" who might possibly be single.

She was being level headed and calm just like her brother here. Did him a solid. Got information needed that she wouldnt have got otherwise. That info in the end led to his own downfall.

 

[Skyr]

Damn op I feel so relieved for you.

What a lowlife piece of shit that lying guy is.

 

[SpacePirate Ridley]

Happy for you OP.
great to see finally something good in onf of this threads.

 

[Twookie]

good on you OP, you handled it very well

 

[Yoshi]

Dammnnnn


Edit you should take out the f part at the end. Quick way getting banned. I mean I understand you are upset and all

Was it different before? I am quite certain it is not bannable to say that you had sex with you significant other. Parent GAF would be in serious trouble otherwise .

So OP, can you ask your sister why she didn't say "Oh that girl is my brother's gf"?

Seems weird as shit that your sister would introduce your gf as her "friend" who might possibly be single.

Well, she may have suspected by the way he was talking that he might have an affair with her and did not want to stop him from telling her about it? I seriously doubt it was ill intent (towards op).

OP: Good thing you did not listen to aggressive-GAF here and stayed level-headed .

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

Was it different before? I am quite certain it is not bannable to say that you had sex with you significant other. Parent GAF would be in serious trouble otherwise .

Well, she may have suspected by the way he was talking that he might have an affair with her and did not want to stop him from telling her about it? I seriously doubt it was ill intent (towards op).

OP: Good thing you did not listen to aggressive-GAF here and stayed level-headed .

I think you missed the Post with faggot at the end.

Also that account is clearly trolling, let's just Ignore it.

 

[kittoo]

So OP, can you ask your sister why she didn't say "Oh that girl is my brother's gf"?

Seems weird as shit that your sister would introduce your gf as her "friend" who might possibly be single.

My sister just wanted to get the information out as soon as the guy said he was dating N (my GF). So she went along.

I'm glad it all worked out, but they met once a couple months ago? Wasn't she in a long term relationship with you at that point? Why would she meet up with a dude who was clearly pestering her to date him while she was with you?

Yes she was. They were in the same mall and the guy was pestering to meet her. While it is indeed slightly weird (I did tell her as to why she was not blocking the guy altogether etc. even after its clear he is pestering her), I guess its more of an ego-boost than cheating. Definitely didnt cheat on me with that guy. Cant fight over her being a little self-absorbed, I guess.

Glad it all worked out. But what was up with her meeting this guy while you met her parents?

I met her parents 2 weeks ago. She met this guy 2 months ago for the second time. He was lying about meeting 2 weeks back. Nevertheless, as said above, it looks more like narcissism on her side rather than cheating.

Crises averted and you got laid.

It was a good day

A good day indeed!

welp, i'm happpy for you OP! I was dumb to say to dump her, but at least i said "talk to her" just before that...

i'm safe right... right?

lol

Haha. You guys were helping. Doesnt matter who said what. I was just glad to have a community trying to give me solutions and cheer me up. Yesterday night I was cracking up at some of the posts here, despite being in a sad state. Thanks GAF! Never change.

 

[mordecaii83]

Edit: I still agree you're probably doing the right thing if you just break it off with her, but one guy's word that he's dating your gf without any actual evidence of her doing anything isn't 100% solid proof. If it was me I'd want to confront her and see what she says.

Just wanted to quote myself. I'm glad it worked out for you OP! Occasionally things like this happen, and that's why unless you have direct proof a SO is complicit it's always best to talk.

 

[Mugy]

Im my case i just feel like i was taken for a fool. Part that hurt me the most is the fact that she still has a lot of my money, i won't be able to see the puppies again, and all my plans where around trying to give her a good life for the both of us. She also insist that this is all my fault...which i gotta ask; i didn't cheat!, i didn't look for someone else...Why is this my fault?

Also sorry for interrumpting OP thread, i just feel to write too.

 

[Dictator93]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

Cool-head-GAF prevails, I am happy that it seemingly worked out. Keep honest!

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

Im my case i just feel like i was taken for a fool. Part that hurt me the most is the fact that she still has a lot of my money, i won't be able to see the puppies again, and all my plans where around trying to give her a good life for the both of us. She also insist that this is all my fault...which i gotta ask; i didn't cheat!, i didn't look for someone else...Why is this my fault?

Also sorry for interrumpting OP thread, i just feel to write too.

People like her are terrible people. Of course they try and blame the victim. They dont want to feel they did something wrong.

Sorry you are going through this. It really sucks. But also you should use the word faggot. I dont know what you meant by it but its not a word you should use.

 

[always crazy bacon]

"That's why I don't do relationships"

Is such bullshit. You've either just had shitty relationships or more than likely never had one.

The latter no doubt, people like that look solely at failed relationships as a confirmation bias that they didn't want a relationship they couldn't get anyway.

 

[mordecaii83]

Im my case i just feel like i was taken for a fool. Part that hurt me the most is the fact that she still has a lot of my money, i won't be able to see the puppies again, and all my plans where around trying to give her a good life for the both of us. She also insist that this is all my fault...which i gotta ask; i didn't cheat!, i didn't look for someone else...Why is this my fault?

Also sorry for interrumpting OP thread, i just feel to write too.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I know what it's like to go all-in with someone and have them end up being a scumbag.

The only thing I can say is that it will take time to pick yourself back up, but it can happen and you can find someone who is a much better person and truly wants to be with you. Just hang in there!

 

[Indrid Cold1]

Update GAF.

Went over to her place. Asked her calmly as to who is DK (the other guy). She says she knows him. I asked her how they met she said the dating app. On asking when she said either a little before she met me or after, she wasnt sure. She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

Her side of the story was that they met long back and she didnt like him but the guy kept pestering her about meeting and dating and taking things to the next level etc. Post that they only met once a couple of months back.

She then called the guy and kept me on speaker. It went something like this-

Her: "Hi. Did you have chat with a friend of mine?"
Him: "Yeah. Wait I will call you back."

Disconnects the phone. Doesnt call back. So she kept calling him. After 3-4 times he picks up again.

Him:"You've never called me before and now suddenly so many calls. What happened?"
Her:"Why did you tell my friend that we were dating?"
Him"We met one or two times. What else should I call it? Ok wait."

Puts us on call waiting for a long time. Then we disconnected.

After a while my sister messages me that now he is asking her why she told my gf about him claiming to date her etc. My sister tells me to call him once again and clarify everything he said, like my gf saying she is single and flirting with him etc. So we called again. Again he doesnt pick for a while but then does.

Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

At this point we disconnected the call. There was no point. The guy wasnt going to accept he lied about anything.

So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

At that particular time I didnt have any reason to think she was lying, until unless she is such a master liar that somehow managed the whole situation to her benefit, despite me showing up suddenly and giving her no chance of even touching her phone before this went down. The app wasnt there. The chats were clean. The guy was called and situation clarified.

Looked like things were OK.
Then, we banged.

What's she meeting up with him for while your meeting mum and dad?

I still smell a rat

 

[SomedayTheFire]

Was it different before? I am quite certain it is not bannable to say that you had sex with you significant other. Parent GAF would be in serious trouble otherwise .

Homophobic slurs are bannable, though.

 

[Crimson-Death]

I am glad there was a good ending for once to one of these stories.
Good luck OP.

 

[Yoshi]

I think you missed the Post with faggot at the end.

Also that account is clearly trolling, let's just Ignore it.

Oh man, I feel dumb, thank you. I somehow thought he quoted the "happy ending" posting. Yes, it goes without saying that this posting will not do him good.

 

[kittoo]

Im my case i just feel like i was taken for a fool. Part that hurt me the most is the fact that she still has a lot of my money, i won't be able to see the puppies again, and all my plans where around trying to give her a good life for the both of us. She also insist that this is all my fault...which i gotta ask; i didn't cheat!, i didn't look for someone else...Why is this my fault?

Also sorry for interrumpting OP thread, i just feel to write too.

Just read your posts bro. Tough luck. Its a shitty situation indeed. But I am sure all the advice GAF has given here stays for you too. If ever you want to talk about it, drop me a PM

 

[Vagabundo]

haha GAF got owned by creeper creep. Luckily sensible heads prevailed.

 

[____]

The latter no doubt, people like that look solely at failed relationships as a confirmation bias that they didn't want a relationship they couldn't get anyway.

Some people have just been cheated on a few times which is 100% unpreventable and shapes how they feel about relationships and trust going forward.

 

[mindatlarge]

It always pays to get the other side of the story. Glad this had a happy ending.

 

[f0rk]

Im my case i just feel like i was taken for a fool. Part that hurt me the most is the fact that she still has a lot of my money, i won't be able to see the puppies again, and all my plans where around trying to give her a good life for the both of us. She also insist that this is all my fault...which i gotta ask; i didn't cheat!, i didn't look for someone else...Why is this my fault?

Also sorry for interrumpting OP thread, i just feel to write too.

Why were you paying for everything

 

[Mugy]

At this point i don't even trust my own shadow. I wanna build my own PC for play videogames, work, and leave this country (i made a post about that a few weeks ago, check it out to see why i feel even worse than i should be)

I'm doing lift at home, watching Bojack Horseman and getting everything done in my last semester of college to get distracted.

But even then...Why i feel like this is my fault and i deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong man.

 

[Mugy]

At this point i don't even trust my own shadow. I wanna build my own PC for play videogames, work, and leave this country (i made a post about that a few weeks ago, check it out to see why i feel even worse than i should be)

I'm doing lift at home, watching Bojack Horseman and getting everything done in my last semester of college to get distracted.

But even then...Why i feel like this is my fault and i deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong man.

Why were you paying for everything

After 3 years of being with her, i just feel like i was something i had to do, because she need it. Its fair to blame myself for that, but she didn't had money, i wanted to make her happy with little things, and wtf man...I was supposed to marry that woman 2 months ago. It is really my fault for not seeing it coming? i don't think this all on me.

EDIT: Sorry double post

 

[mordecaii83]

At this point i don't even trust my own shadow. I wanna build my own PC for play videogames, work, and leave this country (i made a post about that a few weeks ago, check it out to see why i feel even worse than i should be)

I'm doing lift at home, watching Bojack Horseman and getting everything done in my last semester of college to get distracted.

But even then...Why i feel like this is my fault and i deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong man.

The person doing the cheating will almost always try to make it seem like the other person's fault, otherwise they'd have to admit they're a bad person. Take some time just for you, focus on yourself for a while, and when you feel ready you can get back out there.

Or as GAF loves to say, start hitting the gym.

 

[_Ryo_]

Did everyone miss the fact that she used the app and met up with this guy while OP and her were already a year plus into their relationship?

 

[Savitar]

Good job OP, you did the right thing and you get to enjoy the results.

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

At this point i don't even trust my own shadow. I wanna build my own PC for play videogames, work, and leave this country (i made a post about that a few weeks ago, check it out to see why i feel even worse than i should be)

I'm doing lift at home, watching Bojack Horseman and getting everything done in my last semester of college to get distracted.

But even then...Why i feel like this is my fault and i deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong man.

Your just kicking yourself because you didnt see it coming. Its only natural. But its not your fault.

If you are finishing collage you are only young. This is your shitty relationship that a hell of a lot of people go through. makes it so the next time you meet someone you are way more clued up on what you actually what and more aware of red flags.

18-21 I was in a shitty relationship. It ending was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Pretty sure she cheated on me to but what ever. I was and am better off without her. You will be too.

Did everyone miss the fact that she used the app and met up with this guy while OP and her were already a year plus into their relationship?

She explained that and has said she gets it and removed the app. There is no way she stages that conversation that involved him haning up, calling the dudes sister and having a go at her for telling her what he said.

People do things that sometimes seem illogical. Quite often one person will see the opposite sex as a friend (in most cases the woman seeing the man as a friend in my experience) and dont think anything of it while the other person feels very differently.

 

[f0rk]

After 3 years of being with her, i just feel like i was something i had to do, because she need it. Its fair to blame myself for that, but she didn't had money, i wanted to make her happy with little things, and wtf man...I was supposed to marry that woman 2 months ago. It is really my fault for not seeing it coming? i don't think this all on me.

EDIT: Sorry double post

Well what you described doesn't really sound like a relationship so maybe think about that next time.