When I used to take protein powder I used to fart like an absolute demon, they were monstrosities of biblical proportions, could clear a room in 5 seconds flat - horrendous! The worst thing is that I had to fart all the time, gas was bad as, anyway I worked at a desk.
I used to take toilet breaks every couple of hours to go and let them rip and I'd have so much built up that I could do 30 - 45 second non stop farts.
Anyway, this one day at work we were hella busy and I literally couldn't get away from my desk for the whole day. This fucken gas bomb had built up inside of me like you wouldn't believe... Imagine 10 dead bodies cooking in an enclosed space in the sun for a week and times that by 50 and you might get an idea of what was building up inside of me, anyway my guts were rumbling like a fucken freight train by the end of the day.
I had to stay back late and it ended up being just me and my boss left in the office, this happened often and usually I could just sit at my desk and he would stay in his office. I thought I was safe, I was busy as sin and I wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as I could because it was getting late and the toilet was a while away, so I took the risk of dropping my guts slowly and steadily for the next five minutes at my desk.
My god, it was a silent bitch, but it burned like hot coals as the toxic hot air slowly moved out of my guts and into the atmosphere around me and boy oh boy, I don't think I've ever smelled anything so disgustingly fucken rank in my life. Just as I'm finishing up, red faced and embarrassed enough that something so fucked up came from inside of me, my boss walks out of his office to come talk to me. I sit there thinking "fuck fuck fuck shit shit there's no way he's not gonna smell it, no way no way" he walks up to me, there is this disgusting pungent aroma in the air around me just hanging there, I'm so embarrassed and shitting myself, will he stay and pretend he can't smell it, what will he say (he's one of these ultra professional, never joke around ultra conservative old guy types), there is only me and him in the office and so there is no one else to blame it on. He must be thinking I fucken shit myself or something.
Anyway, his nose sorta wrinkles a little bit, I can see him taking a whiff, I can see his eyes water a little bit as he goes to talk it looks like he almost gags, in my head I'm thinking "oh my fuck but I'm also fucking pissing myself" and he forces out real quick. "I'll ask you about this tomorrow, go home, it's getting late".
Hahahaha!! Oh god.