Holy shit do I hate writing long ass post, so bare with me please.
Night started out pretty interesting, it was raining all day and that would continue throughout the evening. I arrived at the bar ten minutes early (like I always do on dates) so I could check out the place to see if I wanted to stick around for a long time. The bar was loud but not necessarily crowded. I take a booth seat in the back facing the door and try to relax. It wasnt working. As much as anyone will tell you that Im a very calm and chill person I couldnt get out of my head. I kept playing the what if game for some reason. Those ten minutes felt like the longest ten minutes of my life. I felt like I was back on my first date, or like a kid staying up to 11:50 on Christmas Eve. Shit was surreal and I couldnt stand it.
She text me to say shes just around the corner and walks in right at 9:00. She looks so beautiful. We make eye contact and shes just smiling at me. At that point you couldnt kick the smile off my face which in turn makes her giggle. We greet each other; she buries her head in my chest and hugs tightly which makes me feel really good. For about thirty minutes were talking, laughing, and getting to know each other better. At times I would purposely let the conversation hit a lull to see if she would restart it. She wouldnt. She would have her hand slightly resting over her lips, smile, and just stare at me. Which all that did was make me aware that I was fucking breathing. We talk for another fifteen minutes without her boyfriend coming up once. I felt like I had an army of Gaf posters in my head yelling dont mention the fucking boyfriend! As the conversation hits another lull she stares at me and ask so what do you want to know about him? I just have a blank look on my face and say whatever you want to mention about him.
As she starts talking my heart starts to sink. Shit was difficult to listen to. She was talking about how he was one of the first people she met when she got to the states; and how he was super nice and never took advantage of her (I guess friend to girlfriend does work Gaf lulz). She said since they were spending so much time together that they just naturally became a couple; even though she wasnt really romantically attracted to him. She also stated that with all the things going on in her life at the time that the relationship was one of the few stable things. I said to her well that was then, this is now. Why havent you broken up with him? She said if we hadnt met she would have broken up with him that Monday but in meeting me things got complicated. I asked her when she was going to do it and she said she wanted to get it over with this weekend.
At this point Ive heard what I wanted to hear and Im trying at God like speeds to change the subject. Also at this point it was around 10:30 and the bar had definitely gotten crowded. I desperately wanted to leave but I couldnt do what I normally do on a date (which is taking a walk through downtown) because it was still raining heavily. So I ask her if she wanted to go for a drive around the city. She agrees, so we pay for our waters and head out. We get in my car, put on some chill music, and drive off in no particular direction. Conversation started getting deep; we were talking about religion, the afterlife (conversations always go here for me), and relationships in general. She starts asking about past relationships and if Ive ever had a girlfriend. I said not one that I would consider a serious girlfriend (mistake?). She asks why? I was vague, said I have trouble opening up to people (double mistake?).
Eventually my stomach starts kicking me from inside to let me know that Im extremely hungry. In being incredibly nervous for the date I hadnt really eaten anything since five that afternoon. So we stop at a fast food joint, (shout out to McDonald's) place an order, eat, and sit inside there for a few minutes. I noticed it stopped raining outside and I tell her lets go for a walk. We walked around the block a few times and at this point Im in my head hardcore. I kept over analyzing shit and I dont even know why because the date was going really well. When we were sitting at the bar she would rest her head on my shoulder and I would have my arm around hers. As we were walking around I could feel her eyes looking up and beaming into my skull; and all I did was keep looking around the city with a stupid smirk on my face. I kept hesitating to go for the kiss. I knew it, she knew it. Old couple sitting on the bench across the street fucking knew it. At one point she was telling me a story from her childhood about her family and I wasnt evening paying attention. Thats just how badly I was in my own head.
Were walking back to my car and all Im thinking is You have to do it
You have to go for it
You have to go for it or a puppy will die. Also as were walking back she had gone quiet. I can tell shes not awkward; shes not impatient or disappointed. Shes just has her arms folded and looking down with a smile on her face so I know shes expecting it. Fuck.
We got back to the parking lot where my car was and I just went for it. We start kissing
hard (this girl bites man). I feel it was easily one of my worst kisses but she enjoyed it so I guess it wasnt all bad. Shes giggling. Im acting stupid. I finally stop and ask her whats up? (Triple mistake?) She just looks at me and says finally. So after a few more minutes of making the people in the surrounding cars uncomfortable we get in my car and take off. I drive her back to hers, talk a little more; she then gets in her car and follows me home to my apartment. On the way back to my place my hearts racing. That previous ten minute wait that felt like an eternity was made bitch by this fifteen minute one. Im trying to relax and play out all the scenarios in my head. Listening to music was my only sanity at that moment and it did allow me to calm down. We pull up to my building, start kissing heavily in the elevator ride up, and eventually make our way into my apartment. And at that point thats where I end this description because I dont want to go into more detail and get banned from Gaf lol.
So all this took place a few hours ago and shes now asleep in my bed and Im sitting in my kitchen listening to music and typing this out. I dont even know if I really want to post it but its helping me replay the night in my head and look for mistakes. Anyway Im just rambling at this point so if you made it this far thanks for reading and I just have one question. Is it normal to so much energy after something like this? I feel like my adrenaline is rushing but havent really done anything.
