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[CTE]

Bundy up the toilet twice in a day. Achievement unlocked.

 

[LordCanti]

Man...paper clogs the hell out of toilets where I'm from. Poo goes down like butter, but that paper likes to wad.

 

[GrayGrey]

Not gonna lie, did the same thing at a summer camp I worked at. Blamed those meddling kids

Spoiler

and got away with it too

.

 

[jaxword]

A story to be proud of for the grandkids.

 

[Ryaaan14]

OP why are you bragging about being an amateur pooper?

 

[RELAYER]

Nasty bastard...

 

[McLovin]

first of all, flush then wipe. Second of all why the fuck would you hold it in for that long? Why couldn't you poop at home? You know they have products that help with constipation :/

 

[Timedog]

I'm starving for liverwurst now

 

[SystemShock2]

Why do people think TP clogs toilets? Ever seen what happens to it wet? It's those massive logs you're dropping.

You probably know how to fold toilet paper. Some people just roll a huge ball and wipe with that. I guess if there's spashback or you had diarrhea there's less chance of getting any wetness on your hand, but it's largely inefficient and a major cause of backed up toilets. I've also heard of people who just wrap their hand with toilet paper and go for it, but I'm skeptical of this technique.

 

[ronito]

Go for the third!

 

[Reversed]

Unlike OP, I couldn't give a shit like that.

Remember, do your business and flush periodically. You don't want to clog the john with shit and paper (or with humongous single shit mountain).

 

[DualShadow]

2 outta 3 ain't bad.

 

[wenis]

That's a healthy diet right there.

In some circles one of my uncles has been nicknamed the toilet terminator.

 

[ZROCOOL]

Taco Bell strikes again

 

[Ban Puncher]

Should of walked out and exclaimed loudly and within earshot of co-workers "SOME TOTAL BASTARD BLOCKED THE TOILETS!! WITH SHIT!! JESUS THAT IS NASTY!!"

Blame deflected. No body will suspect the shit-witness as the shit-mastermind.

 

[zychi]

The NSA knows it was you and they have filed a report with your employer. Your up shit creek now buddy!

 

[RyanardoDaVinci]

Learn to shit, dude.

1. Look after every sploosh and flush if necessary.
2. Flush the shit and the paper separately.
3. Fold the paper. Don't bunch/ball it up, or wrap it around your hand.
4. Flush the paper in stages in necessary.

I've only clogged toilets when I was a kid and didn't know any better, or I was operating unfamiliar equipment i.e. "You gotta hold/jiggle the handle and sacrifice a virgin to even flush the water in bowl."

Also, when using an unfamiliar toilet for the first time, flush it once before you put any shit in there to see how it does with just the water.

 

[Big Chungus]

One time I took a shit and it clogged the toilet so my uncle told me to use boiling water to fix it...

Man what a bad idea, the entire bathroom was humid and smelled like shit.

 

[RaySpencer]

Why do people think TP clogs toilets? Ever seen what happens to it wet? It's those massive logs you're dropping.

Uhhh..... what? You're wrong?

Are you serious? Its massive amounts of TP 99% of the time. are you serious? hahaha.

 

[big_z]

The toilet flooded on me at work once. I was pissing out of my ass that night and didn't go wild on the tp so I guess the person before me set up a trap. It was awful, since the water was dark brown, smelt like death and there was no plunger. No idea how the janitor tackled the problem but we had a plunger in that washroom after that night.

Why do people think TP clogs toilets? Ever seen what happens to it wet? It's those massive logs you're dropping.

its the tp for the most part. when you have a bunch of it together it clumps into a paste instead of breaking apart. mix in a large turd and it's like jamming a cannon ball in a cannon.

 

[zoukka]

A surge of stereotypes and insults rushed to by brain when I read the OP.

 

[Avixph]

You need a better diet, and need to drink a lot of prune juice.

 

[Kentpaul]

You should reevaluate your life

Op is a mans man

 

[Rockman.EXE]

Best way to avoid the blame: If you think someone saw you leaving, go back in to the toilet, wait 10 seconds, and come out screaming about how 'some idiot clogged up the toilet' as loud as possible.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

Why didn't you flush before wiping after the first time!?

 

[Kentpaul]

Why didn't you flush before wiping after the first time!?

And get shit particles all over yourself ? Flushing a public/work place bathroom is just asking for trouble.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

Learn to shit, dude.

1. Look after every sploosh and flush if necessary.
2. Flush the shit and the paper separately.
3. Fold the paper. Don't bunch/ball it up, or wrap it around your hand.
4. Flush the paper in stages in necessary.

I've only clogged toilets when I was a kid and didn't know any better, or I was operating unfamiliar equipment i.e. "You gotta hold/jiggle the handle and sacrifice a virgin to even flush the water in bowl."

Also, when using an unfamiliar toilet for the first time, flush it once before you put any shit in there to see how it does with just the water.

pooping shouldn't be this hard

 

[C.Dark.DN]

And get shit particles all over yourself ? Flushing a public/work place bathroom is just asking for trouble.

Get up?

 

[johnny_park]

Don't just flush at the end, flush throughout your mammoth shit.

 

[LordCanti]

Am I the only one around here that doesn't shit in public bathrooms?

 

[KAP151]

Should of had a bag of prunes. That will clear ANYTHING.

 

[NateDrake]

Use a coat hanger and chop that shit up next time!

Am I the only one around here that doesn't shit in public bathrooms?

Never have and never will.

 

[Fantastical]

You can flush more than once.

 

[PhoenixDark]

Dude you're supposed to flush after about five wipes, if you just took a big shit. Flushing a ton of TP never works. Piecemeal flushing bro.

 

[Hunter S.]

A surge of stereotypes and insults rushed to by brain when I read the OP.

My first thought is the OP is a Finnish obese man. Right?!?

 

[Chanser]

Does he get a medal?

 

[zoukka]

My first thought is the OP is a Finnish obese man. Right?!?

Nationality didn't pop in my mind, I'm pretty sure every country has mammoth shitters.

 

[FrostuTheNinja]

Flush after you shit.
Flush after you wipe.

 

[Dishwalla]

Reading this thread has made me realize how much I have to poop right now.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

Reading this thread has made me realize how much I have to poop right now.

Not responding to your urges to poop is just asking to be constipated dawg

 

[raindoc]

And get shit particles all over yourself ? Flushing a public/work place bathroom is just asking for trouble.

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Who gives the shit OP? Don't worry about it, you are not the first and won't be the last person who clogs toilets at work. Just get on with your life, there's custodians I'm sure at your work to deal with this shit, it's not going to make their day particularly good, but we all have our shitty days at work.

Spoiler

shyyyyyyyt

 

[Talladega Knight]

hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

 

[ElbowRocket]

Learn to shit, dude.

1. Look after every sploosh and flush if necessary.
2. Flush the shit and the paper separately.
3. Fold the paper. Don't bunch/ball it up, or wrap it around your hand.
4. Flush the paper in stages in necessary.

I've only clogged toilets when I was a kid and didn't know any better, or I was operating unfamiliar equipment i.e. "You gotta hold/jiggle the handle and sacrifice a virgin to even flush the water in bowl."

Also, when using an unfamiliar toilet for the first time, flush it once before you put any shit in there to see how it does with just the water.

Yes but wipe front to back or back to front?

 

[Robso]

'There's a shitstorm coming, Mr Wayne'

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Learn to shit, dude.

1. Look after every sploosh and flush if necessary.
2. Flush the shit and the paper separately.
3. Fold the paper. Don't bunch/ball it up, or wrap it around your hand.
4. Flush the paper in stages in necessary.

I've only clogged toilets when I was a kid and didn't know any better, or I was operating unfamiliar equipment i.e. "You gotta hold/jiggle the handle and sacrifice a virgin to even flush the water in bowl."

Also, when using an unfamiliar toilet for the first time, flush it once before you put any shit in there to see how it does with just the water.

People may find this post funny, a joke or whatever: but if you copied and pasted this very post on the (inside) stall door of every public toilet, I am willing to bet you will reduce clogged toilets by at least 50%.

Good post indeed.

 

[Gintamen]

Shit and run?

That poor poor janitor

Haha, damn you. XD

You've made the mistake once, but twice... you monster, it's already a disaster when one isn't working here.

 

[Brofist]

Time to go for the trifecta.

 

[Alpende]

Am I the only one around here that doesn't shit in public bathrooms?

Nope, I prefer to shit in the toilet in my house. I just don't like shitting in unknown toilets.

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

get some probiotics in you man.