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Penny Arcade's Gabe (Mike) apologizes for being a bully.
- Thread starter ZealousD
- Start date
I feel like forgiveness got a bit lost in the age of the internet and our current political climate. You see this on the right and left. You see it in this thread already. There is this attitude of "I hate you because you're wrong and I hate you even more for not being right in the first place despite a sincere apology"
Props for a little introspection.
Props for a little introspection.
GhostWriter24
Member
The more I read from this guy, the more I completely abhor him. What a fucking twat, can't he just shut up and draw the comics?
What a PR nightmare he must be to deal with.
What a PR nightmare he must be to deal with.
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
Well the thing is, none of this isn't something we didn't know already. They've mentioned being victims of abuse for their hobbies, interests, who they were, etc.
Actions mean more than words and we just have lots and lots of posts from this guy talking about how sorry he is when he should actually be working on being the better man instead.
It's just awkward seeing him take the problems he's cause for other people and turning them to be about him.
This is also really bad logic. I could make it through so everyone automatically can make it through. No one grew up in the same environment and in the same living conditions and received an identical education. As such no lives the very same experiences that craft who they are throughout their life. Not everyone is adequately equipped to face every possible hardships either.
Humans are complex beings so I don't think you can compare easily what you lived to what he lived.
He was being who he is. Most people were fine with it - the vocal "social justice!!1" people were not.
RumblingRosco
Member
I certainly agree that he seems to be putting forward a good faith effort to address his own faults. With that said, I feel like he spent more time making excuses than actually making any sort of a legitimate apology. I understand bullying can affect people into adulthood and I am sorry for Mike that he had to go through that, but I still feel he is naming it as an excuse. That's not acceptable for a 36 year old adult.
It is entirely possible I am misinterpreting his writing though.
imadinosaur
Banned
This kinda came out of nowhere for me. I had to look up the whole "Dickwolves rape fiasco." It was weird.
Part of me wants to wave his finger at him and say, "YEAH, YOU SHOULD BE SORRY, A-HOLE." But another part of me sympathizes with not only his apparent sincerity, but also his personal story. I understand what it's like to have to put up a front and to be completely alone against the merciless attacks of other people... it's rough stuff, man.
So yeah. Here's hoping he becomes a better person because of all this. Admitting your flaws is the small first step, but it's the right one.
NotMyRealName
Banned
I smoke weed to subdue my jerk like tendencies. I don't know what his plan is, but I wish him luck.
Risible
Member
They are far more than that, they host a number of huge conventions and a large charity, so no, they aren't just some comic.
My gift to you for the New Year, the gift of knowledge:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penny_Arcade
Very true. But it's all about finding ways to work with yourself. I would have more sympathy if this was his first time posting this, if this was the first time he recognized his mistakes and was saying "I'm working on it and it's going to be better", but this is like the third time and nothing is different.
Ilúvatar;95550259 said:
Than he needs thicker skin. Or he needs to not be such a public figure and back off. If the world constantly slaps you in the face because you can't help being a dick, then become a more private dick.
If this isn't a legitimate apology, what is?
He has said milder versions of this before, but this sounds more like he's trying to address the root of the problem, as opposed to the symptoms (like the "don't engage" sign on his desk). It won't mean anything if he fucks up again, but I'd like to believe that people are capable of changing.
Actually this is the closest to a real apology for his behavior in the last year that he's ever come. He even admits as much, that he said "sorry" in the past but it was in a way that says "I'm sorry you got mad but well, I'm not going to change so deal with it".
This reads more like "this is why I'm an asshole , in the past I was sorry but not sorry. Now I would really like to change that because it's effecting everyone else in my life and I'm 36 years old , time to try and grow up, it won't be easy but I'm going to try"
The way he describes his behavior doesn't surprise me at all, it's why I don't think he was actually a bigot or a homophobe or any other thing like that. He simply gets pushed into a corner very easily because a shitty childhood and goes on a defensive warpath. He felt this was okay for most of his life because he couldn't physically fight back but clearly, he is starting to realize that saying bigoted and homophobic things may cause people to think you are a bigot or a homophobe instead of simply an asshole. It's a step forward, the fact that he can merely admit he's in the wrong , finally, is a huge sign of progress actually.
Now here's hoping in the new year that we have no future controversies, he's had his 3 strikes and for many he's out. Let the road to recovery begin.
This reads more like "this is why I'm an asshole , in the past I was sorry but not sorry. Now I would really like to change that because it's effecting everyone else in my life and I'm 36 years old , time to try and grow up, it won't be easy but I'm going to try"
The way he describes his behavior doesn't surprise me at all, it's why I don't think he was actually a bigot or a homophobe or any other thing like that. He simply gets pushed into a corner very easily because a shitty childhood and goes on a defensive warpath. He felt this was okay for most of his life because he couldn't physically fight back but clearly, he is starting to realize that saying bigoted and homophobic things may cause people to think you are a bigot or a homophobe instead of simply an asshole. It's a step forward, the fact that he can merely admit he's in the wrong , finally, is a huge sign of progress actually.
Now here's hoping in the new year that we have no future controversies, he's had his 3 strikes and for many he's out. Let the road to recovery begin.
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
He's been admitting his flaws every couple of weeks.
His post is essentially a recognition that he's failed to do this.
All we can do is actually wait and see if Mike actually changes or if in 3 months there will be another outburst. I would think the PA public relations person must be having panic attacks sometimes.
And in another post I acknowledged that. I just have very little patience for it. It doesn't help him that he has a huge audience reading his remarks and as David H Wong said, just continue the cycle by hurting others needlessly.
entremet
Member
Yep. It's a definitely a Catch 22 scenario.
I just saw it as a reflection of a really poor year he had professionally. I just don't get people getting upset at apologies. Contrition is usually considered a good thing in relationships.
Good on him for writing this out, but his actions in the future will speak for itself. I can feel sorry for his childhood and understand why he is the person he is today. But it doesn't make me feel any less angry when he's an asshole. Also I feel like he just stops short of apologizing to those he has hurt. Although maybe he's done that on his own private time.
I guess I just mean there is that thin line of him taking actual responsibility and simply explaining why he does it because of his own traumas.
I guess I just mean there is that thin line of him taking actual responsibility and simply explaining why he does it because of his own traumas.
I'm not trying to sound upset, just heavily skeptical. Fuck, if he actually changes this time than great, woo hoo. Not holding out on it though.
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
"I did this, this, that, this, and this, and that, and also did this. I am deeply sorry and take full responsibility for it. I was absolutely wrong. I realize that my behavior has had a terrible effect on my life and has negatively affected my co workers and my business, thus, I will be distancing myself from the activities of these companies and removing myself from the public sphere. I am sorry and am sincerely working on being a better person."
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
he said like...all of that
Here is a huge timeline of stuff.
http://debacle.tumblr.com/post/3041940865/the-pratfall-of-penny-arcade-a-timeline
To basically sum it up, internet drama mixed with some incredibly dumb statements by mike.
It was the first two paragraphs that got my attention as they were pretty close to home. Due to my parents moving all the time I went to 7 schools over a period of 11yrs and I also got picked on a lot in my early years. I used humour and smart alec responses to attack the bullies but I never instigated fights at school.
Good on him for explaining it all and apologising.
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
Sorta but with six paragraphs turning the issue to be about him and placing the blame on his shitty child hood instead of owning it completely.
staticneuron
Member
Children are not the only people who are insecure. Alot of people tend to carry their insecurities with them for a long time, an issue made worse if that person is horrible at, or unwilling to do, self reflection.
The impression your comment gives off, imo, seems condescending.
Reading comprehension? He never "blamed" his childhood. He pointed out how he developed bad habits. Look how many times he says "I" in the entire post.
And in this one quote....
This is self realization and finding out the source of his behaviors. He is blaming himself right there. Most people tend to externalize the blame.
Team Filler
Member
It's not often that one engages in discourse with a Judge of True Intentions, such as yourself. I appreciate your ability to detect hidden Truth in postings on the internet, and want you to know that it does not go unnoticed. We are all in awe at your mastery of meaning!
Just a small reminder: remember that you must find yourself in a state of acceptance before taking that first step!
Feels like he spilled his guts on the internet. I don't plan to do the same, but I say with a measure of regret that in order to survive cruelty you might become cruelty.
I have no idea if he is sincere, but it is ballsy to put out there. Time will tell and I wish him luck if he is changing himself. I think he will find that there are people who like helping people, and maybe he does too.
I have no idea if he is sincere, but it is ballsy to put out there. Time will tell and I wish him luck if he is changing himself. I think he will find that there are people who like helping people, and maybe he does too.
a very cute dog
Member
I'm not even sure whether to begin here. Ideally we'd all work through (or "get over" in manly-man vocabulary) our problems instantly and be fully realized, happy people, sure, but things don't usually work that way. Maybe for you.
That sounds a little robotic or like one of those politicians who cheat on their spouse. A bit of introspection sounds more real. When people actually look in the mirror, they wonder how the fuck they got here in the first place.
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
good on him, i hope to see a genuine improvement this year
2013 was a pretty upsetting year to be a fan of those guys' work (which im not really a fan, tbh but they do good work)
its mostly upsetting because everyone loves him and his work. everyone loves penny arcade. guess he finally got the memo.
2013 was a pretty upsetting year to be a fan of those guys' work (which im not really a fan, tbh but they do good work)
its mostly upsetting because everyone loves him and his work. everyone loves penny arcade. guess he finally got the memo.
Uh, how is this issue not about him? And I feel like he owned up to it. He also explained the origin of his shitty attitude. If you can't tie some key things about yourself back to childhood events, you probably lack introspection.
Even though you're pissed at him for explaining, people would have been pissed for the opposite as well.
Hours Left
Member
Well, if he is in earnest, then I respect that, but I would hope he realizes that it doesn't instantly right all the wrongs he's apologizing for. However, if it's just a PR move to save face and try to curb bad business, then that's pretty despicable. You reap what you sow.
I guess time will tell. An apology is meaningless if you don't back it up with intent and action. A ton of people have experienced the same or much worse as him, yet they don't lash out in the same way. A hard childhood not a free pass, and I hope he understands that in this supposed quest for change.
I guess time will tell. An apology is meaningless if you don't back it up with intent and action. A ton of people have experienced the same or much worse as him, yet they don't lash out in the same way. A hard childhood not a free pass, and I hope he understands that in this supposed quest for change.
I am just tired of the cycle they have introduced. Insulting remarks -> Apology blog post -> Insulting remarks -> Apology blog post
It will be great if he changes, really, and I know it is hard to do so.
snoopeasystreet
Member
It's a well written piece and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in hope that he truly believes in what he wrote but ultimately my opinion of him will be formed on his actions in the future and not a once off blog post.
Internet.
Damned if you, damned if you don't. Man, no wonder people just say "I don't give a fuck what people think"
Internet
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
It's 100% about the people he harassed.
staticneuron
Member
TBH, I have not followed the situation. But I can see how it becomes hard to believe an apology when one continues to repeat the behavior they are apologizing about.
Dreamwriter
Member
It really wasn't completely an apology, except to the other people working at Penny Arcade. What it really was was explaining his New Year's resolution, why he chose to make that resolution and how hard it was going to be, because it's a basic part of his character that needs changing.
Personally, I think at least one of the things the internet crushed him over this year was really stupid (stupid that it got such a backlash), the whole thing about Robert Khoo asking in a public Q&A what was the biggest mistake he (Khoo) had made, and the answer being "pulling the Dickwolves t-shirts". He explained his answer at the time, that the act of pulling them is what triggered Gabe's volatile arguments in the first place, so that's why he thought it was a mistake - because of what happened, not that the act itself was a mistake.
Personally, I think at least one of the things the internet crushed him over this year was really stupid (stupid that it got such a backlash), the whole thing about Robert Khoo asking in a public Q&A what was the biggest mistake he (Khoo) had made, and the answer being "pulling the Dickwolves t-shirts". He explained his answer at the time, that the act of pulling them is what triggered Gabe's volatile arguments in the first place, so that's why he thought it was a mistake - because of what happened, not that the act itself was a mistake.
And as you said before, he's apologized before. I think Gabe's an ass too, but this post was obviously an introspective post about himself alongside an (additional) apology that encompasses friends and family.
Hosting events still shouldn't cause drama though. But I guess the personal dairies/blogs do. Sounds to me it's drama for the sake of drama.