Yeah man this too. I'm 24 and even I get that weird paternal urge sometimes when I see dudes at work talk about their kids. It's a strong biological urge in us from the dawn of time to reproduce, and it's one of the things that us humans will do stupid ass shit to satisfy. Glad OP was talked to his senses. Not everyone has to have kids man, even if deep down some of us think we have to at.
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A friend wants me to get her pregnant.
- Thread starter nasax
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Yeah man this too. I'm 24 and even I get that weird paternal urge sometimes when I see dudes at work talk about their kids. It's a strong biological urge in us from the dawn of time to reproduce, and it's one of the things that us humans will do stupid ass shit to satisfy. Glad OP was talked to his senses. Not everyone has to have kids man, even if deep down some of us think we have to at.
Necromanti
Member
I can't tell who's crazier in this situation.
Transistor
Banned
Wait wait wait, this isn't right. This is GAF, you're supposed to fight us to the ends of the earth until we end up humiliating you.
Nah, but seriously, I'm proud of you. Stick to this decision.
Admiral Woofington
Member
It's very simple op.
Get a legal document stating you won't pay child support and get her legal signature in it not to mention get it in tip top shape in a court of law.
Then get another document stating that she agrees to the terms that you will now walk around saying "I just had seeeeex it felt so good$
Get a legal document stating you won't pay child support and get her legal signature in it not to mention get it in tip top shape in a court of law.
Then get another document stating that she agrees to the terms that you will now walk around saying "I just had seeeeex it felt so good$
Why the hell would you even consider this? Your friend has all sorts of options available to her besides you (not that the world needs more children without fathers in their lives), which means there is a specific reason she wants you to do this that I don't see you having a receipt for in your explanation. You don't become a father as a fucking favor to someone, you live as a father for the rest of your life. This woman clearly wants to be and feels she is ready to be a mother; the thought of being a father doesn't sound like it was even in your mind (especially not with this woman who lives in a different city) until a few weeks ago.
Shit is DEFCON 1, wake up.
Shit is DEFCON 1, wake up.
Think about it this way too, what if you meet someone you really fall in love with a year or two down the line, how do you explain the kid you sorta-kinda have with someone else? Or, on a similar note, it's going to feel that much more special when you have a kid with someone you adore and admire rather than someone you're acquaintances with.
GravityInsanity
Member
Next time you see her OP you know what to do.
killer rin
Member
At least try dating her first OP. If it works out go for the kid, if not don't.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
This is awful advice. Like really fucking bad. Probably why you should ask your best friends for advice on these sorts of things and not gaf.
And saying that she might not have a kid because of you and you somehow being responsible if she doesn't in any manner is completely nonsensical. I don't even know how you even came to such conclusion.
Yeah that's probably the problem too.
We never dated but she pursued the hell out of me back in the university and I was extremely attracted to her at the time too but that's all it was and probably still is, just an attraction. She lacks something that never made me pursue her (personality wise) so I never did anything.
Man you guys really laid it on me, thanks to all, I appreciate it.
Nooooooooooooooo! Don't expect a thread from me anymore about this topic. You people really have opened my eyes which is what I wanted because I knew that something wasn't right and I wasn't entirely seeing the big picture about something.
Seriously nothing will come out of this except maybe her feelings getting hurt.
captainraincoat
Banned
Fill her up op.....just remember not every time you fuck is not a guaranteed hole in one
You might need to fuck multiple times...repeatedly....
You might need to fuck multiple times...repeatedly....
Rabbi_Vole
Banned
Does she know anything about reproduction? If not, tell her anal is the most efficient way.
hipbabboom
Huh? What did I say? Did I screw up again? :(
You have to harder (and will most likely lose) any attempt to avoid financial responsibility of the child than you would have to fight to gain any partial or full custody of the child and to be involved in their lives should things go south between you and your friend. Think hard about the future and how people can change before making such a decision.
hydragonwarrior
Member
Major point here. And she'll only have matleave for one year (if she's even given that) to take care of her kid. Beyond that she'll have to pay for daycare (not cheap) and take care of the kid immediately after work on her own. Despite being away from the child, you'll be involved in more ways than one.
Look at it this way - are you willing to be a father? If you're up for the responsibility, than go do it. If you're not, than don't.
Astral Dog
Member
Aww, thats sweet
dont do it, what the hell you are not even a couple let her search for her own dick
I'm looking forward to your next thread 9 months from now.
Maximus.
Member
Why is this a thing in threads? Whoa people have opposing thoughts and aren't a hive mind, crazy! Also why do posters refer to gaf as if they are an outsider? You are a part of gaf.
Anyways, OP this is a bad idea. There are clinics for these kind of things. Maybe if she really wants your genes, you can figure it out legally where you won't be caught up in paying any child suppport or anything, unless you really want to do that too.
TimeEffect
Member
What if she finds a way to make you pay child support. Is that possible?
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
This will not work in Canada unless the child goes up for adoption.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
This is an American Dad! episode.
Subpar Spatula
Banned
Do it. I'd be ecstatic to be in OP's position because he gets to have sex.
Exactly, I wouldn't be to explain that kind of shit to the woman I love. And like you said, having a child with someone you love just makes it so much more special.
Plus whoever said the kid would resent me for not being in their life, that hit really hard too. Yeah I don't want any child growing up hating me like that. What a horrible mess this would had been. Jesus Christ, thanks for the kick on the ass GAF.
Haha you gave me goosebumps, fuck no. I've done a 180.
Conkerkid11
Member
wtf
TimeEffect
Member
yeah this seems like such an easy thing to get out
For the sake of the kid, any kind of promise or contract will be broken, leaving op paying out the nose
Screw that
Face it Tiger..
Banned
do it, but get legal protection.
Exactly, the agreement would never hold up in court. You will be on the hook for child support until the child turns 18. The only time parental rights are terminated is when the child is put up for adoption. If you are okay with being a part time parent and are willing/can afford to pay child support, then you can consider it. You can't make a legally binding agreement to not pay child support.
Masterspeed
Member
I don't think I've ever said this to someone on the internet and I never will again, but damn dude, you're a fucking good guy.
No wonder she wants to have your damn kid.
Goro Majima
Kitty Genovese Member
This sounds like a great porno.
But since we're talking about reality here you're insane for considering this. 32 isn't even too old to find someone and have a kid...like not even close. Yeah there are issues with pregnancy later in life but medicine is pretty awesome. At least awesome enough to where this shouldn't be a concern at 32.
Sign her up for a match.com account or something instead if you're not interested in her.
Don't ruin your life because she's paranoid about potentially having kids. Also consider having to explain all that baggage to anyone you want to date in the future.
Edit: sorry saw your latest post! Good job!
But since we're talking about reality here you're insane for considering this. 32 isn't even too old to find someone and have a kid...like not even close. Yeah there are issues with pregnancy later in life but medicine is pretty awesome. At least awesome enough to where this shouldn't be a concern at 32.
Sign her up for a match.com account or something instead if you're not interested in her.
Don't ruin your life because she's paranoid about potentially having kids. Also consider having to explain all that baggage to anyone you want to date in the future.
Edit: sorry saw your latest post! Good job!
This is a good point and maybe something that will help soften the blow of the OP's decision. Almost all of my coworkers (also educated professionals) had their children in their late 30's. One just had a perfectly healthy baby at 40. While the risks of defects go up as the parents age, the odds are still heavily in favor of a healthy child.
Messofanego
Banned
Yuuuuuup
I realize that the last part of this is a joke, but just in case OP thinks the other part is a good idea:
This would do NOTHING! Child support is the right of the child, not of the parent, so the parent CANNOT sign it away!
If she really just wants a baby, she should go to a sperm bank. Unless you're okay with paying child support, stay the hell out of her, OP.
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