thechristoph
Sir!
Your ass better bring peer-reviewed clinical trials and medical journals to every casual conversation.
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A friend wants me to get her pregnant.
- Thread starter nasax
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Your ass better bring peer-reviewed clinical trials and medical journals to every casual conversation.
I wouldn't do it. Even ignoring other reasons I would not do it cause how is she going to have the time for a kid when she doesn't even have time to date? And also I don't think she realizes how much effort a kid is to take care of. And she wants to do it alone? I have a friend who is a stay at home mom who gets overwhelmed and she has a partner to help her with the kid and no job taking her time. It seems to me your friend isn't considering the kid's welfare more than just her selfish wants of having a kid.
Just cause you want a kid doesn't mean you should have one. OP you should consider the kid she'd have to and not just her feelings on wanting a kid.
Just cause you want a kid doesn't mean you should have one. OP you should consider the kid she'd have to and not just her feelings on wanting a kid.
IchigoSharingan
Member
DarknessTear
Banned
One year later...
After showing the original thread. "I found out that she made this deal with one other guy, so we don't know who the father is. I'm heartbroken because I've been taking care of the baby as he/she were my own."
Even if that were not the case, this is a trap. I have some advice for you. Go fap before you make this decision seriously. Make sure your dick isn't fueling it, because it really is not worth it in my opinion.
After showing the original thread. "I found out that she made this deal with one other guy, so we don't know who the father is. I'm heartbroken because I've been taking care of the baby as he/she were my own."
Even if that were not the case, this is a trap. I have some advice for you. Go fap before you make this decision seriously. Make sure your dick isn't fueling it, because it really is not worth it in my opinion.
OrochiJR
Member
That's some sound advice to heed, OP.
And if she doesn't have time to date now how does she have the time to have a kid now? Not to mention she should find some one she wants to live forever with and raise a kid with. It is unfair to purposely bring in a kid to this world with just one parent nevermind one that didn't even have the time to try to find a sig other to raise the kid with. Dating is less effort and time than raising a kid. And she can't be bothered to take the time to do that.
In the end if she doesn't have a kid it's not the end of the world. We don't need more people on this earth and you don't get everything you want in life. It's more unfair to the kid to be born to some one who can't take care of him or her well than to her not having a kid.
LyleLanley
Banned
This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Do it.
Michael F. Assbender
Banned
No. She'll have you for child support for almost two decades. I don't care what she says now. Situations change and so do minds.
Let her go get drunk and have shameful, unprotected, hot, hot sex like most normal people.
Let her go get drunk and have shameful, unprotected, hot, hot sex like most normal people.
travisbickle
Member
I don't think there's any malicious intent from your friend, it's a moronic idea to fulfil a need she thinks she has. But OP you should be truthful to yourself about how you feel about her: she will find someone else and marry, have kids and stop being your friend.
Gnome Scat
Member
Don't do it, don't get involved in this.
PsihoPerihelion
Member
I have this same deal with a friend, but I told her I won't be responsable for the kid. She seems fine with that, but I wouldn't do it without some advice from my lawyer first.
Messofanego
Banned
New thread for new victim?
Come on. Everyone's priorities get altered once a kid enters into their equation. She's not going to be neglectful of him or her. The more pressing question is how much the OP wants to be financially responsible because if he doesn't then this idea is bad.
MatrixMan.EXE
Member
I mean, you're welcome to ruin your life, OP, but I wouldn't recommend it. You should be be having children with people you love. This is a child, not a pet. It would be different if she had an SO but he couldn't give her children, and so as her friend she asked if you'd donate sperm instead of some random. But, from the sounds of it this isn't the case.
So, to reiterate, don't do this. It's stupid.
So, to reiterate, don't do this. It's stupid.
In America at least a contract like this holds no water. It's been tried and hasn't held up. She will mostly get child support if she wants it. And you say you trust her but if she's struggling she's going to put her child's priorities over yours. Way too big a risk.
How about try dating her for a while and see if you actually want to maybe get together? It seems like you two might actually both want a relationship if she is comfortable enough to ask you to father a child for her out of the blue and you are actually considering it.
If she just wants a kid because she is getting older, but doesn't want it affect her career don't do it. That kid will be neglected and you will be paying child support.
If she just wants a kid because she is getting older, but doesn't want it affect her career don't do it. That kid will be neglected and you will be paying child support.
Wowfunhappy
Member
Presumably the child support issue should be fixable by getting OP's friend to sign a written agreement.
Assuming that gets squared away, I don't see anything wrong with this at all.
Edit:
Assuming that gets squared away, I don't see anything wrong with this at all.
Edit:
Really?! If you happen to have/remember articles on this, it's super interesting. Also seems kind of messed up IMO. A situation like the OP's should be allowed for in the law.
Count Dookkake
Member
Can either of you get laid regularly?
If neither can, I advise against this plan because you'll probably create a monster.
If neither can, I advise against this plan because you'll probably create a monster.
DirtyLarry
Member
Plenty of kids out there would love to be adopted. Just saying.
Polioliolio
Member
I like the idea of it except there's just so much room for it to go south.
http://family-law.freeadvice.com/fa.../artificial_insemination_donor_obligation.htm
It can vary state to state:
The scary one:
So just don't risk it basically.
The "agreement" would not be worth the paper it is written on. Ask the NYC do it yourself sperm donor how that worked out. He's on the hook for child support for like seven kids.
Send her to the sperm bank. I can't believe this is a real thread.
Borboleta Amarela
Member
I'll never understand this whole "friends helping friends have babies" thing. There are, today, more options than ever so why probably ruin a friendship for the selfish idea of having a baby and put this huge burden on someone who you're not even sexually or romantically involved with? Also, guilting someone into doing it... You might even feel flattered and at the same time sorry for the other person because she's missing out on the chance of having a baby...I mean, c'mon.
None of it is something you should care about unless you want to have a family with that person because you love her/him. Even with these reasons the results are often times negative, I would think an adventure like this one is not gonna be a happy one, for all involved but more so for the unborn kid.
Seriously, don't do it.
None of it is something you should care about unless you want to have a family with that person because you love her/him. Even with these reasons the results are often times negative, I would think an adventure like this one is not gonna be a happy one, for all involved but more so for the unborn kid.
Seriously, don't do it.
Vire
Member
Honestly, the dumbest thing I've ever even heard suggested.
Let's see, can I ruin a long last friendship, create complications in future relationships, possibly have to pay child support for 18 years... Or just continue to live my perfectly acceptable and normal life.
To be fair, I've often had the thought my life is going to well, I need to do something immeasurably stupid to fuck it up.
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Let's see, can I ruin a long last friendship, create complications in future relationships, possibly have to pay child support for 18 years... Or just continue to live my perfectly acceptable and normal life.
To be fair, I've often had the thought my life is going to well, I need to do something immeasurably stupid to fuck it up.
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Always-honest
Banned
I would kindly decline.
Not sure how it works where OP lives, but where i'm from (British Columbia), as soon as you knock a girl up, 17-19 years guaranteed, plus you might have to support them through university while they are a (dependent), so call it 21-22 for safesies.
If she wants to go to a sperm bank, let her go to an actual sperm bank. If you want to have kids but don't want any responsibility, go to a sperm bank.
If she wants to go to a sperm bank, let her go to an actual sperm bank. If you want to have kids but don't want any responsibility, go to a sperm bank.
ClosingADoor
Member
Sure, do it if you want to make child support payments the next 18 years, and put a kid on the planet without a dad around.
There are options for her if she is serious about it. Just getting pregnant by a friend is not one of them.
There are options for her if she is serious about it. Just getting pregnant by a friend is not one of them.
sechsterangriff
Member
She could use a sperm donor if all she really wanted was a child. What's she's clearly after is at least one of two things: insurance (child support) and a father figure in her child's life. With the second one being an afterthought at best.
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