creampies doe
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A friend wants me to get her pregnant.
- Thread starter nasax
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Be real with yourself. You're going to want to be a part of this kid's life if you felt emotional about this woman not getting her chance to be pregnant.
if you're going to do this than you owe that kid a present father. You're likely to grow some sort of emotional bond with the mother since you two just made a huge decision together.
If you have the kid, why not see if you two are a good match romantically as well. Give the kid a chance of having both a mother and father figure at least until college.
if you're going to do this than you owe that kid a present father. You're likely to grow some sort of emotional bond with the mother since you two just made a huge decision together.
If you have the kid, why not see if you two are a good match romantically as well. Give the kid a chance of having both a mother and father figure at least until college.
MidgarBlowedUp
Member
Have sex with her.
Pull out.
Buy her a baby goat afterwards.
Pull out.
Buy her a baby goat afterwards.
OP I'm reeeeeeeeeally curious about her response regarding sperm banks and the whole potential future child support thing. Furthermore, I know she doesn't seem your type personality wise, but is she considering a possible future with you...maybe not in the forefront but somewhere in the back of her head (considering you live apart and all)?
I get that she seems to trust and be attracted to you, but it's not that simple. Although in her position, it probably seems so. You should bring those points above to her and report back what she thinks. But your final answer should be no.
I get that she seems to trust and be attracted to you, but it's not that simple. Although in her position, it probably seems so. You should bring those points above to her and report back what she thinks. But your final answer should be no.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Don't be a kid's father unless you plan on being their proper father. It's not just social, it's not just human, it is the way of nature you're thinking of playing fast n loose with here. Whatever you are to them, that is the legacy of a dad this potential person will have for their whole life.
GreatestHits
Member
What? The only reason according to OP that he didn't make a drastically top-tier life impacting decision, one with all signs pointing to the negative, is because he took the advice of neogaf, a bunch of collective people of which none he knows personally.
This thread is really sad. It's not a death sentence for the kid to be born out of something like this but we wonder why mental issues are so prevalant in the world and we have two people nonchalantly playing with their own lives and a planned third like this. It's a shame how much power human beings have along with the lack of wisdom necessary to use it on even a basic level.
Neoleo2143
Member
You should probably sort out the "not currently living together" part first. A developing child will need a reliable space for both parents. As long as you feel comfortable and your friend feels comfortable about raising a child, you should go ahead. But make sure you have the capability to raise it. Talk it out with her about your issues (like that afformented space problem). You two seem to have have a good deal of respect for one another, which is key to this relationship.
Edit: Waaait, if you don't have an intention to be the proper guardian of this potential child, then say no. It's not worth it. You'll just be hurting the kid.
Edit: Waaait, if you don't have an intention to be the proper guardian of this potential child, then say no. It's not worth it. You'll just be hurting the kid.
blame space
Banned
dadzoned
You would think that this would be a good thing, but you know what? Thinking about it, Japan is ahead of the curb and knows that shit is fucked.
BananasWithGuns
Member
Nope. Nope.
Just..nope.
Just..nope.
Adam_Roman
Member
Seek legal advice. If you can't find a clear cut way to give this woman a kid with you never having to worry about child support, do not do it. You don't wanna make a mistake thinking you're helping a friend only for there to be a chance of them screwing you over later on, because that's always a possibility, no matter how pessimistic it is.
Protect yourself and your assets, then if you feel like doing this for her, go for it.
Protect yourself and your assets, then if you feel like doing this for her, go for it.
mariachi507
Member
DON'T DO IT!!!!
The potential legal ramifications alone should make you run. The whole "you can be apart of the kid's life as much as you want" thing would really fuck me up.
If she really wants a child, there are places she can go for that.
The potential legal ramifications alone should make you run. The whole "you can be apart of the kid's life as much as you want" thing would really fuck me up.
If she really wants a child, there are places she can go for that.
LookAtMeGo
Member
My daddy clock is ticking. I need to drop a seed soon or else I'll miss my chance at being a hip father.
Sup fertilegaf
Sup fertilegaf
Don't do it, but perhaps have the discussion with her.
If she has no time to date, how will she have time for a kid? Set her head straight. Just because you're not giving her a child doesn't mean you can't help her. Maybe she'll realize she's not in a place in her life where a kid is feasible.
If she has no time to date, how will she have time for a kid? Set her head straight. Just because you're not giving her a child doesn't mean you can't help her. Maybe she'll realize she's not in a place in her life where a kid is feasible.
Sniffynose
Member
Pro Tip op: she's asking you on a date, it's now safe to hold her hand in public.
The more they say "ITS WRONG, ITS TABOO, WE CAN'T" to each other the more turned on they will get.
OP will literally be blowing his load in her screaming "...but GAF TOLD ME THIS WAS FORBIDDDEEENNN OHGODHMOHGODOHGOD"
Seems like a trap to me.
But good that you changed your mind already.
And you only have a baby with a girl only if you are ready to call her a wife. Its nothing like having a pet.
Moff
Member
I don't know about the law in the US, but I've heard of several cases here where people's lives were ruined because the mother changed her mind and still decided to ask for child support, although she initially didn't want to. do not underestimate the power of free money, do not underestimate what can change in a few years.
unless you want to put financial control over your life into someone else's hands there is no way I would do this. I also don't see how she can have time for a child if she's too busy for dating. I'd say a child is more time expensive.
unless you want to put financial control over your life into someone else's hands there is no way I would do this. I also don't see how she can have time for a child if she's too busy for dating. I'd say a child is more time expensive.
PinkCrayon
Member
Draw up a legal contract and go for it.
It's a little more complicated than that
OdysseusVA
Banned
"take a vacation and do this"
This got me. She doesn't sound like she wants anything more than your swimmers, m8.
"You can be in their life as much as you want"
So no, don't do it.
This got me. She doesn't sound like she wants anything more than your swimmers, m8.
"You can be in their life as much as you want"
So no, don't do it.
Nobody else here knows this woman. Only you can speak to her ethics and personality and whether she will be true to her word. Gaf can screech it's judgements all it wants but you are the only one able to make an informed decision. If you were in your early 20's I'd say you don't know yourself or this woman well enough to take such an action. But you have known her for a decade and lived enough of your own life to make the right choice for you. Trust you instincts.
I wanted to say "Don't do OP; you love Ryan Davis, not her!" but someone is bound to have said it before me.
Not sure how the law over there works, but having children with someone you are not married to you need to acknowledge the children are yours.
somecrazymember
Banned
Dont do it. Think of the kid. Not her selfish 'needs'
autumnleaf
Member
Think about in a few years when you meet someone you do want to start a family with and you need to drop into conversation you already have a kid to a friend but you were never really together and you were just doing them a favour.
I hear you but we know what OP has told us, which is enough for any adult with an inkling of experience to know it is literally FULL of absolutely critical downsides.
It is an incredibly risky prospect on the table for the OP. If the worst he gets is 'Gaf screeching' in relation to an opinion before he decides on a life changing course (the baby's as well as the mothers and potentially his) then that's absolutely nothing.
She has a career, working a 8-6:30 job and then when she gets home, she's studying for her classes that occur on the weekend. She's supposed to be finished with her master's this semester. So next year, after probably finding a new job, her schedule should open up a bit more.
I really do trust her though, ten years is a long time of knowing someone which is why I made this thread in the first place despite how crazy the situation may seem to outsiders. She really isn't just any friend, I've confided in her a lot throughout the years. People may then wonder, "why not just date her and see where it takes you" but honestly, as much I've known her and everything, I do deeply care for her but I'm not in love with her. And bringing a child into that situation, me being in a different city, and yes, part of me wants children but not like this. I could probably never explain this situation to my future spouse. It's a mess no matter which way I try to reason with this and messes usually turn into bigger messes in the future and I really don't want deal with that.
somecrazymember
Banned
newtypepilot
Member
tell her to goto a sperm bank.
michaelius
Banned
Well all the problems would go away if you marry her 
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I dunno, a friend of mine did this with one of his oldest friends with the understanding that he did not want to be involved in raising the kid. Worked out great for everyone involved, honestly.
He banged her for a week nonstop, she got a kid she adores, and she eventually married a really cool dude who adopted the kid as his own. The kid doesn't know my friend is the bio dad and everyone's cool with that. They traded medical history and he'll never be involved.
He banged her for a week nonstop, she got a kid she adores, and she eventually married a really cool dude who adopted the kid as his own. The kid doesn't know my friend is the bio dad and everyone's cool with that. They traded medical history and he'll never be involved.
It works out for a lot of people but it also goes really sideways for a lot of people too.
NoblesseOblige
Banned
I swear I've read this exact OP before. I might be a time traveler though.
nasax said:
Well, that's nice of you
Now that doesn't seem like it would work, does it? I don't think you can sit on the fence between being a sperm donor or a partner without falling on either side.
No reason to compromise what could be a good part of your life still to come. Perhaps your own children, with a partner you love. This would only complicate that.
So if you aren't ok with it being a completely platonic donation (and even then it's worth really thinking over) I think the decision is obvious - don't do it.
Your schedule has to open up more than "a bit" for a child.
That isn't even the fuckin tip of the iceberg when it comes to taking care of your kids for legit the first 15 years of their life. How could she even possibly do the early childhood portion of this without having more time open?
That's because daddy is going to be around and he doesn't know it yet.
- Late night feedings
- doctors appointments
- breakfast,lunch,dinner preparation
- school pick up/drop off
- if no pick up/drop off then bussing + aftercare (which is not free even in public schools, and can cost up to $10k a year and only stays open until 5-5:30 at most places)
- taking your kid out to buy clothes + toys +haircuts + mid day doctor appointments
That isn't even the fuckin tip of the iceberg when it comes to taking care of your kids for legit the first 15 years of their life. How could she even possibly do the early childhood portion of this without having more time open?
That's because daddy is going to be around and he doesn't know it yet.
You voiced my thoughts exactly. Either she has no idea what its like raising a kid or she's set a zinger of a trap for op to fund her new life.
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