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A personal message.

This seems wisdom worth sharing in its own thread, unless you're planning to bottle and sell the secret formula (and I wouldn't blame you; that'd be valuable information).
This appears to be pretty valuable knowledge, would you be willing to share it?
I've shared it multiple times, but the gist of it is "shut the fuck up". Righteous indignation burns bright, but it burns out very quickly - but anything you say will inevitably reignite the fires. It's like that comic about how when you hate someone, you hate everything they do. I think it was "look at that bitch, eating crackers like she owns the place". That bitch is you, and while that fire burns, there is nothing you can say or do that won't be seen as an attack. There's a curve to how these things go, and after the last hit piece has been written and the last idiot has had his two cents in the comments, the whole thing will disappear in days if you just shut the fuck up. Like 95% of it at least. The last 5% is easily manageable.

Problem is, that will be the absolute last thing you'll want to do. Being victimized by what seems like the entire internet, you'll want support and you'll want people to know how tough it is. You'll think that by shutting up, you are letting them win. You'll want to correct the errors in a futile hope that people will see the light. They won't. There will be no conversations had while tempers run hot. My harassment continued for so long largely because I didn't understand human behavior and I thought people could still be reasoned with, or failing that, could somehow find justice. So I ate a lot of crackers in front of people and it took me a long time to stop doing that.

I really, really believed that if I just complained enough or replayed the sequence of events enough, I'd find some sort of closure - and I never did. It was only when I finally said "fuck it" and just ignored my email, kept my personal comments to myself, and just did my business in the most business-like way possible that the harassment stopped. It was like a switch went off. Over night, it was better. After a few weeks, this thing which was following me for a year stopped being a thing. Nobody brought it up anymore. Just like that. No more hate mail.

A big part of minimizing the effect of harassment is to diversify. I have several email addresses, both public and secret. I belong to several online communities, which I use different names on, and I don't really cross pollinate. When I'm on NeoGAF, I'm not talking about conversations I had over at a different forum. Because when the harassment hits, you'll have one or two people that will literally stalk you. I had one guy who basically just searched my name, and every blog and article comments section, he was there bad mouthing me. He was editing my Wikipedia page. Even followed me to multiple forums to try to get me banned from them. It's a lot easier to shut the fuck up when you have different places you can go where the bullshit doesn't follow you. And that includes real life. Just log out for a while and remember that what you do online isn't important. That's not real life. Those aren't real people. It's just pieces of people, and the worst pieces.

But at the end of the day, there's no closure for harassment. It's a natural disaster, like a hurricane. It just comes in, wrecks you shit, and disappears without any logic or reason. And just like a hurricane, you've got to accept that shit happens and just be happy that nobody died.
 

Papa

Banned
I've found this forum has become a much better place since I started putting the assholes on ignore. I haven't done it often because we all have our off days. Sometimes we'll post stuff we didn't word properly or read something that'll rub us the wrong way and we'll get a little steamed up, that's ok, that's natural. It's those people who constantly engage in or encourage pile ons, insult others, or cause arguments and try to stir up drama, I don't think twice about blanking em. They got nothing worthwhile to offer. As for Ailynn she seems like a real nice lady and it would be a great shame if those assholes were allowed to drive her off this board.

When you label white people generic, get called on it in a perfectly civil manner, then rather than own up to it, double down, label the other side toxic, and ignore them:

Why is he an asshole for not wanting to play a generic white guy?
Why are white guys “generic”?
No. We're not going to play the what if game.

If he'd only said he'd be happy to never play a white person again. You might have a point. However, it seems your purposely ignoring the rest of his post because that doesn't fit your narrative. He clearly says he doesn't like how white people are portrayed. So, from that I'd say it's logical to assume he's talking about the generic dudebro characters. That doesn't make him an asshole.
You’re the one that just labelled white guys generic. Seems pretty racist to me, so I’m not sure you have a leg to stand on.
He's brought up the generic comment twice now and then used that to imply racist intent when I was obviously talking about generic video game characters. It's an old Gaf/Ree tactic so I'd say he was definitely fishing for a gotcha and if that's how he discusses subjects then I'd say Resetera is the perfect place for him.
Winter John Winter John what proportion of video game characters do you believe should be non-white?
"I believe burden of proof is on you to demonstrate that white characters have been the majority."

This is such a ridiculous level of denial it's hard to believe your actually serious, but here's a study you can look at. While it doesn't cover every year it's fairly comprehensive

http://dmitriwilliams.com/VirtualCensusFinal.pdf

Your "list" of best selling games actually highlights my point so thanks for that. It's a pity you didn't bother to look at the games on that list. I don't think you'd be making claims like this " you can see that the majority of franchises do not force players to play a white male (or even a human...) character."

Well, when we look at your list we can see the exact opposite of your claim. There's COD, BF, GTA, FIFA, Need For Speed, Assassin's Creed, Resident Evil, Splinter Cell, Star Wars, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, UnCharted, Medal Of Honor, Red Dead Redemption, The Witcher, James Bond, Tony Hawks, God Of War, Rainbow 6, Bioshock, Batman, Gears Of War, Spiderman, Devil May Cry. It goes on and on.

While we're here, here's an old meme that highlights the discussion

Morning-Hangover-White-Males.jpg


Now, you can keep on denying the reality of the situation all you like and I'm sure you will, even in the face of studies, lists and memes that clearly show all the evidence anyone could possibly want, but I'm not going to keep going round in circles over this. Me getting banned again for criticising another crappy AAA is much more worthy of discussion. That's the 2nd time I've been banned for doing that.
That's a terrible list that does very little to support your point.

Games requiring historical accuracy: pre-diversity era COD (there have been plenty of non-whites in the diversity era), Battlefield, Assassin's Creed (also plenty of non-whites), Medal of Honor, Red Dead Redemption.
Pre-existing fictional characters that shouldn't be replaced for spurious ideological reasons: Batman, James Bond, Spiderman.
Japanese-made games: Resident Evil, Metal Gear Solid, Devil May Cry.
First person games in which the protagonist isn't even visible: Bioshock (the villians were also white, which you ignored), Halo (really? Master Chief is in a damn space suit the whole game and his race is ambiguous. The most visible character in that series is Cortana, a racially ambiguous female, because she's a fucking robot).

You've also listed the Witcher, which is a Polish game. Most Polish people are white, duh. Then you've listed Need for Speed (lolwut), which is a racing game with plenty of non-whites, and FIFA, which is based on real players in real football teams. And Rainbow Six? Really? There are plenty of non-white, non-male characters in that game. Same goes for Star Wars.

Moreover, why should games made outside the US be forced to adhere to US concepts like superficial diversity? Are you trying to exert your cultural norms on them? Sounds like digital colonialism to me mate. Furthermore, why do you lump all white guys together like Niko, who is Eastern European, with Ezio, who is Italian? Do you see them as "generic" despite the fact they have very little in common other than their skin colour?

Your list is bad, your arguments are bad, and you should feel bad.

Be wary of taking the word of snowflakes at face value. There's almost always another side to the story.
 

Winter John

Gold Member
When you label white people generic, get called on it in a perfectly civil manner, then rather than own up to it, double down, label the other side toxic, and ignore them:


Be wary of taking the word of snowflakes at face value. There's almost always another side to the story.

As you can see, this guy blatantly tried to misrepresent what I'd posted. I was clearly talking about generic white dude video game characters and not white people irl. He decided to try and frame my post as an attack on white people. I provided stats as requested on the over representation of generic white dude characters but of course those were instantly dismissed as not being good enough. So, rather than waste my time with someone who just wanted to score points and argue I put him on ignore.

I see he's still misrepresenting my posts and throwing insults at me so putting him on ignore was the right choice.
 

Papa

Banned
As you can see, this guy blatantly tried to misrepresent what I'd posted. I was clearly talking about generic white dude video game characters and not white people irl. He decided to try and frame my post as an attack on white people. I provided stats as requested on the over representation of generic white dude characters but of course those were instantly dismissed as not being good enough. So, rather than waste my time with someone who just wanted to score points and argue I put him on ignore.

I see he's still misrepresenting my posts and throwing insults at me so putting him on ignore was the right choice.

Your posts are there in black and white. Even in this post, you still can't understand why labelling white people generic is at best hypocritical, at worst racist.
 

Barsinister

Banned
Redneckerz Redneckerz , my advice is to imagine that we are all sitting at a very long bar. Or, maybe like the one in the TV show "Cheers". We have our funny bits, where Papa Papa knows the lyrics to the theme song for "Bonanza". We have our little bits of drama, also, sprinkled throughout. While I'm over here scratching my head over Antoon Antoon , at the other end of the bar, DunDunDunpachi DunDunDunpachi is finding out his life is going through a major change. Look who came in" Cunth Cunth " !!!!! we all yell. Then he says something and gets all the likes.

Right now, people who live next door to you are laughing, or crying or screaming. Who knows? Anger and aggression come from within, I figure. Your novel of a post reeks of too much self reflection. Enjoy!
 

Papa

Banned
Redneckerz Redneckerz , my advice is to imagine that we are all sitting at a very long bar. Or, maybe like the one in the TV show "Cheers". We have our funny bits, where Papa Papa knows the lyrics to the theme song for "Bonanza". We have our little bits of drama, also, sprinkled throughout. While I'm over here scratching my head over Antoon Antoon , at the other end of the bar, DunDunDunpachi DunDunDunpachi is finding out his life is going through a major change. Look who came in" Cunth Cunth " !!!!! we all yell. Then he says something and gets all the likes.

Right now, people who live next door to you are laughing, or crying or screaming. Who knows? Anger and aggression come from within, I figure. Your novel of a post reeks of too much self reflection. Enjoy!

Did DunDunDunpachi DunDunDunpachi just realise he's transgender?
 

It's Jeff

Banned
I'd like to share a personal anecdote about Ailynn Ailynn .

There's a fair bit of ignorant generalizations in my personal sphere about transgender concerns, mostly involving the sanctity of people's precious bathrooms. On several occasions, I've asked if some of the people espousing this talk have ever actually met a transgender person. Most answer that they haven't. In response, I let them know I've known a few. One was a cool person before and after the transition. Didn't even tell anybody about the change. Neat lady, and one hell of an artist. Another was one of the most insufferable, whiny, everything bad happens to me because they hate me types. The third, I describe in all honesty, is a person I've talked to online that's likely the nicest person alive.

Some people have this bizarre notion that transgender people are deviant or bizarre, but they're just people like anybody else. Some are awesome, some are total losers. Some, in this case, are among the best people I've encountered on this planet. Matter of fact Ailynn Ailynn , if you find yourself in Colorado for any reason, first round is on me.

Long story short, if you've said or done something to chase away this treasure, retrace your steps because you fucked up.
 
But at the end of the day, there's no closure for harassment. It's a natural disaster, like a hurricane. It just comes in, wrecks you shit, and disappears without any logic or reason. And just like a hurricane, you've got to accept that shit happens and just be happy that nobody died.


Damn dude, did you piss off PewDiePie on Twitter or something?
 
I don’t generally get too deep with the forum but I just wanted to shot out Ailynn Ailynn , she’s a delightful and positive person and this is a lesser place without her.

It would be. Thankfully, she only said she'd be stepping away from the politics forum, which would also have an affect on how much time she spent on NeoGAF in general. It's an unfortunate situation. The price we pay for allowing less restricted conversations is the understanding that feelings will be hurt, but the benefit of those conversations is that minds can be changed. If not someone arguing, than perhaps someone reading. And if no one changes their mind, at least they might come to some common ground, or a better understanding of one another. It's a great thing, and it can't happen without allowing that discussion.

Unlike so many people, I really think Ailynn genuinely wants to 'help' others become better more caring people through their understanding of being transgender, just as people helped her. There's no judgement, or spite, or pride, or anger from her. She had an upbringing that told her transgenderism is "wrong," so I would imagine she can sympathize with people who are still in that place. And so did I, and so can I.

The thing is, I don't have a personal investment in the issue, so I'm happy to continue respectfully debating the topic. But I can see why that sort of thing would weigh on Ailynn after a while, and I can understand her choice. I can also understand those who think she should keep being an advocate for her beliefs here, but I think stress and emotional investment should come before that sort of thing.

I'd like to share a personal anecdote about Ailynn Ailynn .

There's a fair bit of ignorant generalizations in my personal sphere about transgender concerns, mostly involving the sanctity of people's precious bathrooms. On several occasions, I've asked if some of the people espousing this talk have ever actually met a transgender person. Most answer that they haven't. In response, I let them know I've known a few. One was a cool person before and after the transition. Didn't even tell anybody about the change. Neat lady, and one hell of an artist. Another was one of the most insufferable, whiny, everything bad happens to me because they hate me types. The third, I describe in all honesty, is a person I've talked to online that's likely the nicest person alive.

Some people have this bizarre notion that transgender people are deviant or bizarre, but they're just people like anybody else. Some are awesome, some are total losers. Some, in this case, are among the best people I've encountered on this planet. Matter of fact Ailynn Ailynn , if you find yourself in Colorado for any reason, first round is on me.

Long story short, if you've said or done something to chase away this treasure, retrace your steps because you fucked up.

Very well said.
 

Barsinister

Banned
I'd like to share a personal anecdote about Ailynn.


You don't know what an anecdote is, I guess. Especially a personal one about the subject in question.

When I think of Ailynn, it's usually after reading something she wrote and is tied up in some way with "Alice in Wonderland" or "Snow White". I think it is the writing style that does it. "Whatever do you mean." "I'm frightfully certain." She probably never wrote those lines, but I imagine she did. Like a mouse or something. It's not bad thoughts, just timid, I guess.

That works for some people and others will find it off-putting. We had an interaction about pheromones once.
 

MetalAlien

Banned
If anyone can't handle Neogaf in it's current form might I suggest stepping away from the internet all together? Neogaf as it stands right now is like an oasis of tolerance. I'm as shocked as anyone by that statement. Tolerance means putting up with people you disagree with in a peaceful manner. We are doing that for the most part.

Slow clap gaf, slow cap. I never thought i'd see the day.
 
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quickwhips

Member
I see what you’re saying but I can’t help but counter with my observation that any posts that levy blanket statements toward white people, especially straight white males, get dealt with immediately, but “all trans people are sick” comments, and similar, are okay and just “dicks being dicks?”

That’s kinda what I was asking before, to Dun. What level of antagonism is okay? Where is the line? I’m asking honestly. I’m more than happy to meet in the middle.
I'm indifferent. I don't think there is anything wrong with at 18 year deciding to be trans. I think parents being stupid and changing the gender of their children should lose the right to be parent.
 
Damn dude, did you piss off PewDiePie on Twitter or something?
This was about 15 years ago, so before PewDiePie was a thing, but you aren’t too far off.

It’s ironic, but at the time, it was impossible to communicate just how severe the backlash was to others because at the time, the scale of something like this just didn’t happen to normal people. These days, backlashes are common and lots of people have either been victims to it, or participated in it, so they understand just how serious having a hundred thousand people out for blood can be.
 

Barsinister

Banned
I'm indifferent. I don't think there is anything wrong with at 18 year deciding to be trans. I think parents being stupid and changing the gender of their children should lose the right to be parent.

Are these wizard parents? I am against wizard parents changing the gender of their children, too!
 

It's Jeff

Banned
You don't know what an anecdote is, I guess. Especially a personal one about the subject in question.

When I think of Ailynn, it's usually after reading something she wrote and is tied up in some way with "Alice in Wonderland" or "Snow White". I think it is the writing style that does it. "Whatever do you mean." "I'm frightfully certain." She probably never wrote those lines, but I imagine she did. Like a mouse or something. It's not bad thoughts, just timid, I guess.

That works for some people and others will find it off-putting. We had an interaction about pheromones once.

I'll rephrase. I'll share a personal anecdote about my experiences where I've used the experiences and interactions with a person I've conversed with and relayed those positive experiences with this person to demonstrate her standing and behavior as an exemplar against misconceptions that have no standing.

So, I suppose you're technically correct. It's a personal story about me, sharing about her.
 

Cunth

Fingerlickin' Good!
This was about 15 years ago, so before PewDiePie was a thing, but you aren’t too far off.

It’s ironic, but at the time, it was impossible to communicate just how severe the backlash was to others because at the time, the scale of something like this just didn’t happen to normal people. These days, backlashes are common and lots of people have either been victims to it, or participated in it, so they understand just how serious having a hundred thousand people out for blood can be.
trying to remember who i harassed 15 years ago...
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
The best way to avoid insensitive topics/posts is to avoid any forum's OT or Politics sections. That's where personal beliefs come in which may hit home hard.

Go to any stock, sports or game board. The main section of topics is back and forth fun about the team or company performance or games. It's basically impersonal stuff as most posts are directed at something that isn't them.

I can't stop any of you from reading every thread, but just like Youtube's comment section, if you believe you'll take things hard, turn the comment section off.
 
I think there are some posters here that engage in discussion in bad faith. You know what I do? I skip their posts and ignore them for the most part. Maybe someone will find value in arguing against their POV and that is their prerogative.

The Politics forum will always be a hotbed of controversial ideas coming from many different places. That is the nature of diversity of ideas. I've come to peace with it. Regulating speech always comes with a cost, and I'm not convinced that's a cost I'm willing to pay.

We shouldn't favor people because they're nice (e.g., Ailynn). We shouldn't favor anyone really. We should continue to discourage character attacks and harassment, however.
 
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Ailynn is worth 1000 of the kind of people who drove her away.

As an egalitarian this statement is exactly why my stance exists.

Ailynn is worth exactly 1 Ailynn.

The comfort with which you raise and lower the value of other human beings (in groups of thousands, no less) is devaluing and divisive.
The basis on which you perform this sociopathic valuation is reactionary, ambiguous and subjective.

Endorsing this way of thinking, normalising it, spreading it - this is a form of social corruption and purity testing.

--

The world, society, feelings: it's not about you. It's not a crime that it's not about you.
Learn to deal with it.
Be reasonable.
Be honest.
Expose bullies and liars.

There is enormous power and considerable wisdom in knowing when to walk away.
 

Yoshi

Headmaster of Console Warrior Jugendstrafanstalt
As an egalitarian this statement is exactly why my stance exists.

Ailynn is worth exactly 1 Ailynn.

The comfort with which you raise and lower the value of other human beings (in groups of thousands, no less) is devaluing and divisive.
The basis on which you perform this sociopathic valuation is reactionary, ambiguous and subjective.

Endorsing this way of thinking, normalising it, spreading it - this is a form of social corruption and purity testing.

--

The world, society, feelings: it's not about you. It's not a crime that it's not about you.
Learn to deal with it.
Be reasonable.
Be honest.
Expose bullies and liars.

There is enormous power and considerable wisdom in knowing when to walk away.
Nobody_Important Nobody_Important was obviously talking about value for the discussion and climate here in this forum. Not as a human being wholesale. In terms of importance for a community or a certain function the importance of individuals can vary greatly.
 
Damn, Ailynn Ailynn left the forum? From what I've read from her posts on the gaming forum, she seemed level headed and respectful to say the least. Very sad to see that some users didn't tolerate her and were aggressive with their stances.

With that being said, I think the forum needs a good balance of serious threads and lighthearted threads. As you know, I've contributed threads that brought much needed comic relief for the gaming discussion section but unfortunately, my thread posting privileges were revoked.

The good news is that i'm a Gold Member now!
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Nobody_Important Nobody_Important was obviously talking about value for the discussion and climate here in this forum. Not as a human being wholesale. In terms of importance for a community or a certain function the importance of individuals can vary greatly.

Yeah I thought I made that pretty obvious, but I am not really surprised that SC is deciding to twist it to his purposes like he usually does. That is nothing new.
 

ROMhack

Member
Redneckerz Redneckerz I don't really know what went down here because I never come to this section of the forum but yeah that's definitely a good book. The Wind-up Bird Chronicle is very similar and I'd like to suggest it to you if you haven't read it already. I know Noboru Wataya Noboru Wataya agrees.

Also Ailynn is one of my favourite posters here. Just very pleasant :)
 
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Papa

Banned
If I had seen it, I would have definitely said something.

I think he’s referring to the MODS HALP incident:

 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
I think he’s referring to the MODS HALP incident:


Yeah okay lol me @'ing mods because of blatant racism and being threatened by another member is definitely a "mods halp" moment lol You can't even set aside your biased BS against me even when you know I am right. You are better than that.
 
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Papa

Banned
Yeah lol me @'ing mods because of blatant racism and being threatened by another member is definitely a "mods halp" moment lol You can't even set aside your biased BS against me even when you know I am right. You are better than that.

The threat came after the MODS HALP.

Please don’t compliment me if you’re just setting me up for the discard phase 😢
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
The threat came after the MODS HALP.

Please don’t compliment me if you’re just setting me up for the discard phase 😢

I was faced with the most blatantly racist post I had seen since I joined the site and I am not allowed to report posts. How else am I supposed to get eyes on it other than @ a mod? You are acting like I called in the calvary over someone calling me a mean name. Thats not what happened and you know it. Unless you wanna try and defend Full Tilts comments and claim they were not racist in nature?


You are just trying to insult me like you usually do even in a situation where you know damn well I was right. Despite all of the BS garbage you have said and done towards me up until now I still genuinely think you are better than that Matt. You wanna hate me for whatever reasons? Thats fine. But its okay to admit I had a point in that situation. I am not going to hold it against you and I promise you will not spontaneously combust.
 

Boss Mog

Member
I think he’s referring to the MODS HALP incident:

Wow his post was actually right under mine, but I never saw it, I didn't come back to the thread after my 2nd post. I do remember NI calling the mods cause of that guy's earlier post but I didn't know the guy threatened NI after.
 
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