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Are transgendered folk obligated to disclose that information to potential mates?
- Thread starter kinggroin
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Yeah. I think the thread assumes that the person can't tell, however rare.
Deified Data
Banned
I won't speak of "obligation".
I will say that if they intend on entering into a mutually trusting relationship with someone, then yes, they absolutely should. If I were trans, I wouldn't want to be with someone who might be turned off by that. I'd want them to accept me, totally. I wouldn't want to have to lie to gain that acceptance.
I will say that if they intend on entering into a mutually trusting relationship with someone, then yes, they absolutely should. If I were trans, I wouldn't want to be with someone who might be turned off by that. I'd want them to accept me, totally. I wouldn't want to have to lie to gain that acceptance.
Grinchy
Banned
I guess if I couldn't tell, and I wasn't informed until after making out with another guy, I'd be a little upset.
I'll just fix that typo for ya bro
This is a heavy subject to talk about, it should be the first thing said "Hi my name was Bill, but its now Elizabeth. Wanna go out for a few drinks?"
No, they have a right to privacy just like everybody else.
It would be like you'd walk up and introduce yourself with "Hi I'm Amakusa I used to be suicidal and cut my wrists but I'm much better now!". Certain topics are very sensitive for a person and are something you only want to talk to with people who you're close to (or getting close to). I don't get this expectation why a transgendered must share something so personal to him/her with anyone at the drop of a hat.
Jeff Albertson
Member
How could you possibly even know that?
Well, a person could be a man (sex) thinking of transitioning to female (gender) and dating a woman (or a woman (sex) thinking of transitioning to male. As I interpreted the question the issue is that the person does not know their partner is transgender, whether that refers to a post-op transsexual or a person who hasn't even gone through HRT.
So the question is, in my view at what point is disclosure required? My answer is when a relationship is about to become long term. Obviously if a person is living as the gender they're transitioning to already but are pre-op if they DON'T disclose their transitioning prior to sexual activity it will likely bring up some... awkward questions but then I took that as understood.
scar tissue
Banned
I was just thinking that I have only seen one or two obviously TG people in my life.
That means, statistically, I probably can't tell.
I'm sorta ignorant when it comes to post-op, but wouldn't you still be able to pretty clearly tell on your own if it ever got to the point of sex?
Why do you assume you have any surprise coming? Until you're getting into my pants, you don't need to know, because it does not matter. Disclosure only needs to happen when it needs to happen, I don't need the drama and bigotry coming from every random guy who thinks he has a shot knowing that I'm trans.
I'd like to know this as well. The only exposure I've had to information on this part of the topic, is Nip-Tuck.
you mistook the context I put that post under. I'm assuming the relationship has already reached long term status and not just some random dude you're going on a date with.
not my area of expertise but my understanding is you likely would with someone who transitioned from female to male, but for a person that went from male to female often the surgery is EXTREMELY effective. But I really am not sure of all the details, that's just what I've always understood to be the case.
06nbarnhill
Member
Oh I don't know, maybe I explained my opinion in my very first post in this thread so I didn't expect that I'd have to explain it every single time afterwards.
Grinchy
Banned
4chan. I went from not knowing what a transgendered person is to being able to spot a male>female converter quite easily. I'm sure I can be fooled though.
Bay Maximus
Banned
As for when they should disclose the information, I strongly believe that both transsexual and transgender persons should disclose the information as late as they want but prior to any sexual contact. I think that would be fair for both parties.
I had mostly conflated you and amakusa there, my apologies. His "fix" it's something that ought be advertised to everyone, and that's a pretty stupid perspective.
Even then, no, I tell anyone I'm approaching a date with. Not even waiting for "long term". If intimacy can be reasonably expected, it needs to be disclosed. That said, when looking for a boyfriend I stick to situations where I can safely disclose being trans more readily. I don't go to bars or "ordinary" stuff like that, partly because I find normal straight guys boring at best and annoying at worst.
D
Deleted member 17706
Unconfirmed Member
How is this even a question? Do you think something good will happen down the line when the person inevitably finds out?
Not to treat them as exactly the same thing, but I think most people would be interested in what kind of artificial physical modification his or her potential partner has undergone.
Not to treat them as exactly the same thing, but I think most people would be interested in what kind of artificial physical modification his or her potential partner has undergone.
Prax
Member
I feel people should be honest with one another in general, but a lot of people aren't for a whole slew of reasons anyway, so keeping a transgendered history a secret is not huge unless they are lookig to pursue a long-term relationship and don't want it to be a huge thing to explain later.
I mean, I feel it eventually should happen, but if people are just casually dating? Eh.
Just like medical, drug, sex, financial, ideological, and other pertinent history should eventually be disclosed to their partner if it gets serious, but it's not a right-away thing.
I mean, I feel it eventually should happen, but if people are just casually dating? Eh.
Just like medical, drug, sex, financial, ideological, and other pertinent history should eventually be disclosed to their partner if it gets serious, but it's not a right-away thing.
The Lamonster
Member
Yes of course it's an obligation. Haven't you ever seen The Crying Game?
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Sounds like my postition.
videogames
Banned
i always tell dudes on the other side of the glory hole to get out before slipping it in.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
no because i like funny tv shows like the IT crowd
No because of this episode, yes in real life.
BakedPigeon
Banned
I may take some criticism on this but I believe someone should tell me they were once a man. I also would not date or have sex with someone who use to be a man. And I say this with the up-most respect to the transgender community.
FlyingTeacup
Member
my opinion as well. i consider myself to be pretty liberal, but I don't think i get over the fact that my girlfriend used to have a penis and uses surgery for the boobs (i hate fake boobs).
on the other hand, this is not to say there aren't people who can.
hey_it's_that_dog
benevolent sexism
Maybe not obligated in the strictest sense, but it seems like the right thing to do if you are going to be in a serious relationship with someone. Imagine how they'd feel if they found out by surprise later on. Would they be upset or hurt? If yes, tell them up front.
Not all transwomen get breast surgery.
I've never really put a lot of thought into the subject, but I don't think it would really bother me as long as she told me before the relationship got intimate.
If pre-op, yes... as soon as a sex chance happens.
post op ?
As much as any other surgery.
Informing they are infertile might be way more important than explaining that their fathers dressed then with wrong clothes.... but i really doubt this is important, specialy if the transition happens when younger
And part of me thinks that most people here saying otherwise fears the day this might happen
...except what Billychu said is wrong.
Transgender means anyone in wich the gender is diferent from their birth sex.
Transsexual is a transgender who wants to change their body to fit their sex.
So a non surgery person who uses hormones IS a transexual
Linked because is a nswf illustration, but you might want to see this....
If you were upset for not knowing this dude is a guy ... then you might have some problems
post op ?
As much as any other surgery.
Informing they are infertile might be way more important than explaining that their fathers dressed then with wrong clothes.... but i really doubt this is important, specialy if the transition happens when younger
And part of me thinks that most people here saying otherwise fears the day this might happen
...except what Billychu said is wrong.
Transgender means anyone in wich the gender is diferent from their birth sex.
Transsexual is a transgender who wants to change their body to fit their sex.
So a non surgery person who uses hormones IS a transexual
Linked because is a nswf illustration, but you might want to see this....
If you were upset for not knowing this dude is a guy ... then you might have some problems
If you were talking about transexual women then 2 : 1) you didn't make out with another guy 2) calling transgender women "another guy" is one of the most offensive stuff you can say
Sorry!
Since it seems like an honest mix-up in terminology and not anything nefarious, it's ok.
There are, admittedly, a lot of words to throw around. At least you're not using the porn ones.
Meus Renaissance
Member
Anyone remember the Law & Order episode where she didn't tell him? Heart breaking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwmSk9GgPsI
As you can see, she never told him. He went into the bathroom and took and overdose after finding out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwmSk9GgPsI
As you can see, she never told him. He went into the bathroom and took and overdose after finding out
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