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[Exokell]

Where does op live? Did dad use physical force?

 

[eternalblue]

As others have said, this absolutely in no way was your fault. How you act or look does not in any way place blame on you for the actions of someone ignoring your refusal. It is the bf's dad who is in the wrong. The lack of respect he's shown to both you and his own son reflects how poor his character is. Do not try to ignore this or pretend it didn't happen. If he tried it once, he will likely try again and may use force or choose not to stop at seeing you in tears. Please find somewhere else to live as soon as possible because this does not sound like a safe environment for you.

Tell your bf and anyone else you trust as soon as possible. I'm not sure what type of illness your bf's mom has, but if she is truly like a (better) mother to you, I'd consider telling her, too. Stressful as it might be for her to hear, it would be less stressful than what she'd find out if/when this situation escalates and if he went farther against you. Seeing as he's her husband, she should have knowledge of what type of man he is.

I'm hoping there's somewhere else you can stay at. You could still visit with bf's mom and help her out, but I wouldn't recommend going there at anytime where there wouldn't be anyone but you and bf's father would be alone.

 

[thesuperfunk]

Tell bf.

.

 

[CREMSteve]

Remove yourself from the home and tell your boyfriend. Afterwards, report him to the police for attempted rape.

 

[Malmorian]

Tell the BF. I know it won't be easy but imagine him walking into a room with Dad putting me moves on you. If he knows beforehand that his dad is a creep then the dad won't be in a position to say any BS to cloud the waters.

 

[Dartastic]

Thanks for the support. I've been able to tell a few people and my bf (he's supportive, but he lives in a different state). I've been able to line up a few places to stay. I do have relatives here but I'm worried that they'd just make me feel like it's my fault (talking to them about anything has never been easy)

Glad to hear that you've told him and that you're looking into places to go. Get out of there ASAP, it's not a safe situation at all. Talking to your relatives about this should be the least of your worries, tbh. Priority number one should be getting to a safe environment.

 

[Daria]

Remove yourself from the home and tell your boyfriend. Afterwards, report him to the police for attempted rape.

That wouldn't go anywhere. He voluntarily stopped pursing the act and from what the OP said it didn't go far. It would have to be in a very late stage (very close to penetration) for anything to come of it. If he did get anything charged, it most likely either be dropped before it got to court or end in a not guilty verdict.

 

[B.O.O.M]

Tell bf but make sure he is 'ready' to handle it a bit...him losing his cool won't be any helpful to either party

I would also recommend getting yourself a stun gun or pepper spray....and threaten to call the cops too.

Such a messed up situation to be in....really sorry to hear OP

 

[CREMSteve]

That wouldn't go anywhere. He voluntarily stopped pursing the act and from what the OP said it didn't go far. It would have to be in a very late stage (very close to penetration) for anything to come of it. If he did get anything charged, it most likely either be dropped before it got to court or end in a not guilty verdict.

It would be enough to make the people around him aware that he is an asshole.

 

[Messofanego]

I've only seen this kind of thing in fiction, must be horrible in real life. Keep strong and don't ever feel guilty if you know you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

You didn't do anything wrong. You need to tell your boyfriend as soon as possible.

Agreed. You have nothing to feel bad over and the guy sounds like a waste of space slimy little cunt. You have to at least tell your boyfriend so he knows his dad can't be trusted. Maybe the two of you need to get your own place together.

 

[Deleted member 125677]

I'm sorry you had to experience this. Tell your boyfriend, figure out how to handle it together.

In my opinion, you should all ask his father to leave.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

And I was hesitating to say this before because it almost seems unreal and didn't add to the topic, but the boyfriend's reaction to it was even worse - the guy tried to kill his own stepfather, both men ended up in jail, stepfather did some time for the assault, then the boyfriend thought she was going to leave him after this...so he raped her himself. She was fucking 16.

Fucking hell man. You take good care of her for the rest of her life, she deserves nothing less. What an awful series of events.

 

[Love Deterrence]

Sorry that you've had to go through this, OP, however I am glad that you have found others (including your boyfriend) to confide in. Stay strong.

 

[SwiftDeath]

Tell the boyfriend for sure. Carry around mace at the very least if things don't get better and you still feel the need to go over to the house for obvious reasons

 

[Xenex]

Sorry to hear about your trouble, it does sound pretty surreal. In your position I would 100% tell the boyfriend and then remove yourself from the household. The mother is not your responsibility, your well being is and it would be irresponsible for you to stay as you just present the risk of it happening again.

Edit: It was out of your control therefore the fault was not yours to commit. And if your family can't see that then fuck them.

 

[John Kowalski]

Thanks for the support. I've been able to tell a few people and my bf (he's supportive, but he lives in a different state). I've been able to line up a few places to stay. I do have relatives here but I'm worried that they'd just make me feel like it's my fault (talking to them about anything has never been easy)

Glad to hear that everything's going fine, good luck with moving out!

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

The fact the boyfriend's not even living with you sets off crazy alarm bells. I mean, not to scare you or anything, but who's going to stop him if he tries it again, the frail sickly mother?

 

[SapientWolf]

I live with my boyfriend's family (long distance relationship) because I started spending a lot of time there; his mother is ill and often left alone so I keep her company and help her out with errands and stuff.

His dad is this often absent, narcissistic, misogynistic asshole who spends most of his time treating her like crap and ignoring her to go out, party and get drunk. He's rarely around (usually a few nights a week).

The mom has been in the hospital for a few days and this morning he tried to have sex with me. I started begging him to please leave me alone. He kept insisting that I wanted it. He stopped after I started crying but dammit if I'm not completely terrified and thinking of ways to avoid him forever (at work atm). I know I could have just screamed for his son who is very big in anti rape culture movement. Then he apologized and he begged me not to leave because I do take care of his wife and she would be heartbroken if I stopped coming around.


My boyfriend's mom is pretty fabulous and I love her to death. She's done more for and treated me better than my mother ever did. Her son is leaving so I know if I left she'd be pretty much on her own.

I'm probably never going to tell her because she isn't healthy and she doesn't need any more stress. And I'm not sure if I'll leave or not because I would rather not have her left alone and ignored.

But I think I should tell my boyfriend, not sure what I should do. Also even though I know I didn't do anything to warrant his attention (I dress pretty much like a guy, I'm not really attractive and I am pretty slovenly in general), part of me feels kind of like I did something wrong and another part of me wants to imagine/pretend it didn't happen. Anyway...I'm going to go back to hiding at work so I can cry.

I'm sure it's been said, but I think he's just using your feelings for his wife to manipulate you. You're not safe around him. The wife needs to know eventually, and it would be better for her to get professional care than to depend on her husband.

 

[boutrosinit]

Tell bf.

This. But do it gently. That's going to be one hell of a pill to swallow.