Ever since humanity invented the social (and somewhat evolutionary) construct of an agreed-upon relationship, there has been cheating. Having sexual relations with multiple partners is something that we are all driven to do, should we listen to our basest instincts. Pledging faithfulness to another person is a high-level human behavior, demonstrating our unique ability to go against inbuilt urges and desires. The reality is, of course, that people oftentimes do succumb to those primal urges and forsake the trust that they've worked to earn from their significant other. Due to the complex nature of human relationships, there are almost an infinite amount of situational factors that can result in infidelity.
A lot of my friends think that I am a moral absolutist when it comes to cheating, and I'd have to agree with them. While I have thankfully never been cheated on, I can imagine what it would feel like. To me, it's one of the most hurtful things one person can do to another, especially if the cheating occurs within a serious relationship (as opposed to something casual). I'm not saying that it is wrong to be tempted. After all, we do have those desires before and after we've entered into a relationship. Acting on those urges, however, shows absolutely zero regard for the feelings of the person your with. I've always wondered, "How can someone do something so terrible to a person that they care about?"
Given my stance on cheating, all of my friends know that if they cheat and I find out, they have one week to confess before I rat them out. My loyalties lie to whomever is in the right in most situations, and I will always side with the victim of cheating rather than the perpetrator, even if my friend is the guilty party. This even applies when I barely know the person who's being cheated on. I feel that everyone deserves to know, and I don't care if someone gets mad at me for breaking the news. If my friend cheats on his or her significant other, they know that I simply won't let it slide. Period. And yes, I have put this policy into practice with my best friend before.
Edit: Due to all the backlash, I want to make it clear that the situation with my friend never necessitated me intervening. He understood my position, realized that what he did was wrong, and came clean himself. Read on to find out why this edit was necessary.
In our society, we tend to label the act of cheating as being a "mistake." To me, that is a misnomer that has led to the further proliferation of the heinous act. A mistake is a bad decision that you unknowingly make and come to regret in hindsight. Cheaters know what they are doing is wrong from the get-go and then choose to do it anyway.
So I realize that I am very black/white on this issue, but I'm interested to hear your stories. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? If so, what were the circumstances? I'm not here to judge (although I will be silently for some), but rather I just want to canvass for some of that "gray area" that I seem to be missing. Is it possible for cheating to ever be justified? I'm curious to find out.
A lot of my friends think that I am a moral absolutist when it comes to cheating, and I'd have to agree with them. While I have thankfully never been cheated on, I can imagine what it would feel like. To me, it's one of the most hurtful things one person can do to another, especially if the cheating occurs within a serious relationship (as opposed to something casual). I'm not saying that it is wrong to be tempted. After all, we do have those desires before and after we've entered into a relationship. Acting on those urges, however, shows absolutely zero regard for the feelings of the person your with. I've always wondered, "How can someone do something so terrible to a person that they care about?"
Given my stance on cheating, all of my friends know that if they cheat and I find out, they have one week to confess before I rat them out. My loyalties lie to whomever is in the right in most situations, and I will always side with the victim of cheating rather than the perpetrator, even if my friend is the guilty party. This even applies when I barely know the person who's being cheated on. I feel that everyone deserves to know, and I don't care if someone gets mad at me for breaking the news. If my friend cheats on his or her significant other, they know that I simply won't let it slide. Period. And yes, I have put this policy into practice with my best friend before.
Edit: Due to all the backlash, I want to make it clear that the situation with my friend never necessitated me intervening. He understood my position, realized that what he did was wrong, and came clean himself. Read on to find out why this edit was necessary.
In our society, we tend to label the act of cheating as being a "mistake." To me, that is a misnomer that has led to the further proliferation of the heinous act. A mistake is a bad decision that you unknowingly make and come to regret in hindsight. Cheaters know what they are doing is wrong from the get-go and then choose to do it anyway.
So I realize that I am very black/white on this issue, but I'm interested to hear your stories. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? If so, what were the circumstances? I'm not here to judge (although I will be silently for some), but rather I just want to canvass for some of that "gray area" that I seem to be missing. Is it possible for cheating to ever be justified? I'm curious to find out.
My gfs have said things way worse, again, all in good fun.