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[nVidiot_Whore]

Not to mention if there were so many people not thinking "this blows" then so many people wouldn't cheat and everyone would be in long-term relationships. IMO, this is just not realistic.

I'm not speaking on how realistic it is for all relationships to be that great.. I'm saying from a personal perspective that isn't how you should judge your own.

My point isn't that many relationships don't "blow", it's that people stay in relationships that "blow" because they think it's just how it works... it's only how it works if you let it work that way.

Using the general populous as a gauge is.. generally a mistake. We don't all "strive" to have the "median family income".. to have "the average amount of success" in any aspect of our life.. except it seems for relationships, people do..

But that's just my perspective.

I guess it will just come down to experience man. I would probably have your same mentality if I haven't been in a relationship longer than 3 years. Were you even living with that person for the entire duration?

Well I've had 2 3 year relationships.. and yes, I lived with both. Both people wanted to spend their lives with me.. as have 2 of my other girlfriends who wanted to get married.

Which is exactly what I'm talking about. That's 4 women who would've married me, I know for a fact, yet I left them. Why? Because we weren't all that compatible. I "loved' them all, and they loved me.. I still care a lot what happens to most of them.. I'd love to be able to consider them friends, but it hasn't worked out that well.

But why did they want to marry me? Because they believed they were REALLY happy with me.. but I could identify all types of things that they weren't really all that happy about.. behaviors they had that indicated the relationship was in trouble, etc.

Compromise is part of being in a relationship.

And again, I think the goal should be to find a partner that you have to compromise the least with.

It's not something people talk about.. they talk about compromise, but never ask themselves why they are with someone that requires so much compromise.

But there is one thing I think that should never be compromised and that is character.

I will never change the person I am for anyone and I don't expect her to.

But where do you draw the line between what is something that makes you "who you are"?

Do your hobbies not define who you are? Does what you enjoy spending your time doing not define who you are?

But IMO, you should strive to please and satisfy your partner as much as you feel possible. And in order to do that you will have to make some sacrifices.

Only if you chose a partner that isn't comparable with you.

It has happened since the beginning of relationships. Men giving up their muscle car for a family car, men giving up dreams of being a rock star to start a family, men don't hang with the boys as much because they want to spend time with their lady.

Well those are choices people make.. if the choice they make keeps them happy, it is not a compromise. If you believe raising a family is more important than owning a muscle car, then you haven't made a compromise with your partner, you've made a choice for yourself.

Same with spending time with your lady instead of "your boys." It's only a compromise if you really want to do the opposite.

Which I'm suggesting.. is dangerous... because a lot of these "choices" and compromises many people regret.. It's those who regret these choices that end up being bad husbands, wives, fathers, mothers.

So if you are not willing to compromise and make sacrifices then I don't see how you will ever be in a long-term relationship.

Hah, well.. I hope to prove you wrong

Unless you want a women with no spine that cleans your house and stays in the kitchen.

lol, no.. not sure why you'd come to that conclusion, or what that would have to do with compromising.

 

[diamondstar]

lol, no.. not sure why you'd come to that conclusion, or what that would have to do with compromising.

Not going to quote everything because it all says the same thing. I think you are making the wrong assumption about me. Or our meaning of compromise is different. I do things for my fiance because it does make me happy. But sure I would like to be playing poker, or drinking beers with the guys or just playing video games all night in a wife beater and boxers. But IMO, that is not a relationship. There are times where I have to do husband things for the sake of the relationship instead of playing Black Ops. I call that a sacrifice, you may call it something else.

By reading your posts I'm still not sure what type of women you are looking for.

 

[nVidiot_Whore]

There are times where I have to do husband things for the sake of the relationship instead of playing Black Ops. I call that a sacrifice, you may call it something else.

Well I'd say it's subjective whether that is a sacrifice or a compromise or not.

If the time you spend with your girlfriend also fulfills you, then to me.. that isn't really a compromise.. you are simply choosing to spend your time a certain way, because you enjoy both activities.

It becomes a compromise/sacrifice when you are truly doing something you don't enjoy instead of something you do enjoy.

And what I'm implying is that, if you find the right partner, that choice becomes easy.. because it's not a sacrifice or a compromise.

Instead what I OFTEN see is.. a guy that really does want to spend ALL of his time "with the guys".. having a girlfriend who wants to spend ALL of her time "with her man." Or visa-versa really.. because that isn't really a guy only thing.. plenty of relationships are the opposite, with the girl being the one who wants to spend all of her time with friends.

That's what I'm talking about here.. compatibility.. if you want to spend X amount of your time with friends, find a female who either wants to do the same with their friends, or wants to be alone much of the time.

By reading your posts I'm still not sure what type of women you are looking for.

I didn't state what type of woman I'm looking for.. only implied I'd want someone compatible with me.

If I enjoyed spending most of my time with my guy friends drinking beer, then that woman would be someone who doesn't require a lot of my time... or someone who enjoys spending time with me and my guy friends.

It's different for everyone really.. and I haven't described at all my own lifestyle or desires, only that I desire to be with someone who doesn't require me to sacrifice those desires.

My lifestyle right now is pretty damn similar to what it was when I was single.. outside of the fact that my sex life is far better, and I'm enjoying a companion for many activities I used to only enjoy alone.

If you really want to know.. here's how I'd describe how I desire to spend my time, followed by my ideal mate:

- I work a lot, and I do well for myself.. so someone who respects my hard work and understands this work is stressful and tires me out.. I'd be most compatible with someone without a lot of career goals, because I am fully capable and willing to support 2 people, and feel that 2 stressed out hard working people would butt heads too much.

- I enjoy playing a LOT of video games.. it's my main hobby... so.. someone who either has their own hobbies that occupy their time and are plenty happy doing that.. or someone who also enjoys playing video games.. preferable someone who enjoys watching video games be played quite often.. since I always want to be playing

- I enjoy watching a lot of movies.. violent movies.. crime movies.. etc.. and I prefer to watch them with someone who also enjoys them.. so someone with a similar taste in movies, because while I don't mind playing video games alone, I'd prefer to have a "movie partner."

- I do also enjoy a bit of TV.. but fairly specific TV.. Food Network, certain crime shows.. and really have no patience for a lot of network TV or other reality TV shows out there.. so someone with similar tastes in TV, it's another activity I don't enjoy much alone.

- I'm a sex freak.. I like sex.. a lot.. dirty sex.. I like to watch a lot of porn.. perv out, etc. So.. someone who has a similar sex drive... likes to watch porn, take it and give it in many ways, etc. I'm also fairly picky.. so she has to be pretty good looking.. definitely "sexy".

- I really enjoy going out for great food.. and making great food.. so someone who also enjoys and appreciates fine dining.

Other than that.. lots of other side things.. I love the weather in Seattle, enjoy just driving to local nature spots.. going on picnics.. hanging out and talking.. reading.. playing chess.

*shrug*

I'm demanding I guess

 

[Meus Renaissance]

Given my stance on cheating, all of my friends know that if they cheat and I find out, they have one week to confess before I rat them out. My loyalties lie to whomever is in the right in most situations, and I will always side with the victim of cheating rather than the perpetrator, even if my friend is the guilty party. This even applies when I barely know the person who's being cheated on. I feel that everyone deserves to know, and I don't care if someone gets mad at me for breaking the news. If my friend cheats on his or her significant other, they know that I simply won't let it slide. Period. And yes, I have put this policy into practice with my best friend before.

I understand this