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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Vimes

Member
Turning 30 later this year

giphy.gif
 
Now keep the momentum and get out there looking.
I know your not supposed to mix work with relationships but there is a new girl at my work who is super cute and I dont see her around too much anyway since our departments dont mix. But I asked her out for a pint after my baseball game this evening and she said sure.
 
The fuck do you look like David Gandy or something? How do you meet them and are you sure they're not just using you for your money?

I don't know who David Gandy is, but I look like my profile pic.

I meet them through friends, exes, random encounters IRL, and occasionally through dating apps.

I'm pretty sure they aren't using me for something I don't have.
 
The fuck do you look like David Gandy or something? How do you meet them and are you sure they're not just using you for your money?

The first question was lol wot, this follow up is even better. Cuase the only reason a woman would date an older guy is because hes handsome and rich?

Maybe they are dating us because we're not thinking like you. You get more dating options in your 30's.
 

Scotch

Member
Had an incredible 24 hours with my girl, basically what I want life to be like to be like from here on out. We talked about plans, world travel, even about getting married in a year with smiles on our face while kissing post-coitus.

Talked serious about being boyfriend and girlfriend and... she needs time. Okay, I can understand. It got heavy for a second there. Right as I got up to leave, she told me she was disappointed that I "seduced her and distracted her from studying" for her BAR over the past day.

Texted her last night I can't do this anymore, and she knows where to find me if she changes her mind.
Yeah you dodged a bullet, but why the hell are you talking about marriage with a girl you're not even exclusive with?
 
I'm turning 22 in 3 months, so my life is basically over. A bunch of my friends around my age are in relationships where they want to marry, are getting married or are already married. I waited too long and now I'm out of my prime, it's all downhill and there's no fixing any of it.

j/k just baiting tho

A bunch of my mates are in serious relationships where they seem miserable most of the time. The last 6-7 times I've gone out with a certain friend, he's had to leave 5 times because his girlfriend walks away for a bit then comes back screaming "You're looking at other girls! You're unbelievable! You hate me!" Then storming off out of whatever establishment/house we're at.

Another got locked out of HIS apartment he is living with his girlfriend in because he went to a birthday one night and was going to a poker night with us, his friends, the next night. Reasoning was that "if you're doing something for yourself one night, the next night should be for me, not yourself again".

I don't know why these dudes are still with these girls, I'm just having fun meeting new people.
 
I see ldar247 is continuing his self-pity streak (wishing to resort to surgery) since the last time he went off about women only wanting money and handsome guys and if you're not that, you're out of luck. Confidence doesn't mean anything, apparently.


Bullshit, unless money or status was involved. No amount confidence is going to fix an ugly face or being a manlet. The lack of it might blow your chances if you're only 7-8/10, I'll give you that. But confidence + ugly face or manletisim = creep.

Except I'm already doing all that. None of it will fix my recessed bones of course, only implants, filler and osteotomies can do that and I've been researching and saving up for those as well. All I (correctly) stated in my previous post was that confidence will not make up for being ugly. Recognizing that doesn't preclude someone from trying minimize their ugliness. But if I'm still sub 5 after doing all that, then it's 100% over and no amount of confidence in the world is going to change that.

I'm trying to prove that if you're sufficiently ugly you never even had a chance. I'm betting my profile doesn't even get many visits let alone messages or responses. It won't even get to the point where women read the descriptions. Hence why they don't matter for this.
Seems he didn't take any of the advice given a few weeks ago.
 

ldar247

Banned
I see ldar247 is continuing his self-pity streak (wishing to resort to surgery) since the last time he went off about women only wanting money and handsome guys and if you're not that, you're out of luck. Confidence doesn't mean anything, apparently.

Nah, I realized I was being an idiot and it's already too late for surgery. Can't afford to waste what little of my youth I have left swollen from recovery. And I'm not looking for pity. I just realized it's not going to be until I'm 24/25 that I've potentially looksmaxed to an acceptable level. Just wanted to know how much of an uphill battle I had once I got there.
 
I googled looksmaxed and saw a bunch of results relating to red pill and PUAs.

That would explain a lot.
"Manletism" gave it away in one of the posts above.

This is what I come up with when I search "looksmaxing":

The final stage of red pill is either:

1-3: Lefort 10
4-7 PS
8+ dgaf, stop posting here and carry on.


This is for the 4-7 people here.

Midface ratio > eyes > skin > hair > chin >> cheek bones > jawline > nose >> lips > ears

Here is the facial aesthetics thread.

Why you should Looks Max.

Quick guide to major problems and their solutions

I can not rate guys, if you want a rating see this thread.

Looks maxing stems from metrosexuality which stems from both the gay and the cosmopolitan subculture, its purpose spawned by feminism and the realization of LMS dying out with its introduction.
We are 10 years past the mainstream metrosexuality era, women are even fussier and we have lots more information easily available on looks and beauty in men and access to better surgeries. Being photogenic has never been so important.​
1a9.gif
 

FyreWulff

Member
"Manletism" gave it away in one of the posts above.

This is what I come up with when I search "looksmaxing":

The final stage of red pill is either:

1-3: Lefort 10
4-7 PS
8+ dgaf, stop posting here and carry on.


This is for the 4-7 people here.

Midface ratio > eyes > skin > hair > chin >> cheek bones > jawline > nose >> lips > ears

Here is the facial aesthetics thread.

Why you should Looks Max.

Quick guide to major problems and their solutions

I can not rate guys, if you want a rating see this thread.

Looks maxing stems from metrosexuality which stems from both the gay and the cosmopolitan subculture, its purpose spawned by feminism and the realization of LMS dying out with its introduction.
We are 10 years past the mainstream metrosexuality era, women are even fussier and we have lots more information easily available on looks and beauty in men and access to better surgeries. Being photogenic has never been so important.​
1a9.gif

that just looks like word salad
 

Vimes

Member
4 months to 30 aww yeah don't feel a day over 20.

33 and successfully dating here

Yeah I'm just joking around; if I still hadn't had my first (and successful) relationship relatively recently I'd probably be in a bit of a state, but I feel great right now. I've seen firsthand now that maintaining a relationship is its own source of stress, so I'm equally happy single or tied up now; it's very liberating. And I'm not at all in a hurry to marry or have kids, so I can see myself spending most of my 30's dating and generally having all the fun that I feel I missed out on in my 20's.

And I should mention to any other late bloomers out there, if you've cultivated some emotional intelligence, it won't matter that you don't have relationship experience already. If you're communicative and have a good partner both will go a long way.

Only thing that's sapping my confidence is the fact that I don't currently have a job, hopefully I can square that shit away soon.
 
Mid 20s being old? wtf look man I'm younger than you and even I think you're saying an uncountable amount of bullshit. You don't need to be handsome, rich, young (though you are young, lol) or have a 40 feet pennis to get a girl or get laid, your problem is that attitude. There's no woman, hear me, not even one, who likes self-pity guys. In the world. If there's life in other worlds aside of ours, there are no women who like it there too.

Change your mind, get a haircut, new clothes, whatever, anything that makes you feel fine, cuter, stronger, more self-confident, and then go to one of those dating apps that everyone has mentioned here and get a date. Be confident, be funny, and you could surprise yourself about what it can get you.

I don't know if you are aware, but as shocking as it can sound, women are humans too, and what we, humans, like above of everything is to HAVE FUN. Be fun and you have half of the work done. But self-pitying is not fun.

Don't mean to sound rude, but fuck if I don't hate that "women only like dudes who are handsome or rich. Hell no. That's a poor scuse to blame women because you can't get laid because of your own guilt. Be confident, if you can't do it by yourself go to see a therapist, they can help more than you can imagine with these kind of things.
 

Peltz

Member
Well, I explained my situation a few pages back, but just to recap:

I'm seeing a girl for 5-6 months now who is easily the greatest girl I've ever dated, but I'm totally afraid of committing to her. I'm 30 and (likely) ready to settle down with the next girl with whom I'm exclusive, and she and I agreed that it's okay to see other people.

She hasn't been on dates with other guys because she said it would feel weird to her. But she's been super understanding (to the point of almost being zen-like) about me dating other women. I've never lied to her about dating other girls, but I also never told her about any girls in particular. She's just aware that I'm dating.

Anyway, Friday night, I went bowling with her friends, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. And we all hit it off. They are such genuinely good, warm, lovely people. It was the best night out I've had in months.

Well... today, I was out on a first date with a girl (from tinder) and walking in Central Park... and I bumped into her sister and her sister's BF while on my date. (fuck my life). I walked right up to them both and gave them each a hug, but didn't introduce my date or anything. It was so awkward.... like I have the worst guilt ever about it. Then I just kept walking with my date. The whole thing must have lasted under a minute.


My date picked up on the unspoken awkwardness of the situation and asked me about it. So I told her the truth. After explaining the entire situation, she very calmly said: "Listen, you're not single. You may have permission to see other women, but that isn't fair to me, or the other women you may be taking out. I want to date someone totally unencumbered, and you're not that guy."


And I realized, she was totally right. I'm being unfair to all sides here. And I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I am not giving everything I can to someone who loves me and who I care about, and I'm comparing all girls who I should be objective about with the girl I'm already seeing. Even though it's not cheating or dishonest, it feels wrong. And I feel 100% guilty.


My date abruptly came to an end and I called the girl I've been seeing. As expected, after her sister had already called her to tell her she saw me out on a date with another woman. I learne she told her sister that we are not exclusive and that I have been honest with her about this sort of thing.

But when she told me this, there was a sadness in her voice that kinda kills me. And today made me realize this situation needs to come to an end. I either have to be completely single or be exclusive.

My question, I guess, is this: How the hell do you know it's the right decision to commit to someone? Like, how the hell do you make this decision? It seems so scary to eschew all other opportunities, but it also seems crazy to give up what I have with her considering how much I care about her and, admittedly love her. For those that have decided to be exclusive with someone, how did you come to that decision?


In all honesty, I think I'm going to practice the law of fuck yes or no here... it's not a fuck yes for a commitment, so it's a no. Is that the way I should be thinking about it?

P.S. sorry for so much text.
 
Well, I explained my situation a few pages back, but just to recap:

I'm seeing a girl for 5-6 months now who is easily the greatest girl I've ever dated, but I'm totally afraid of committing to her. I'm 30 and (likely) ready to settle down with the next girl with whom I'm exclusive, and she and I agreed that it's okay to see other people.

She hasn't been on dates with other guys because she said it would feel weird to her. But she's been super understanding (to the point of almost being zen-like) about me dating other women. I've never lied to her about dating other girls, but I also never told her about any girls in particular. She's just aware that I'm dating.

Anyway, Friday night, I went bowling with her friends, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. And we all hit it off. They are such genuinely good, warm, lovely people. It was the best night out I've had in months.

Well... today, I was out on a first date with a girl (from tinder) and walking in Central Park... and I bumped into her sister and her sister's BF while on my date. (fuck my life). I walked right up to them both and gave them each a hug, but didn't introduce my date or anything. It was so awkward.... like I have the worst guilt ever about it. Then I just kept walking with my date. The whole thing must have lasted under a minute.


My date picked up on the unspoken awkwardness of the situation and asked me about it. So I told her the truth. After explaining the entire situation, she very calmly said: "Listen, you're not single. You may have permission to see other women, but that isn't fair to me, or the other women you may be taking out. I want to date someone totally unencumbered, and you're not that guy."


And I realized, she was totally right. I'm being unfair to all sides here. And I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I am not giving everything I can to someone who loves me and who I care about, and I'm comparing all girls who I should be objective about with the girl I'm already seeing. Even though it's not cheating or dishonest, it feels wrong. And I feel 100% guilty.


My date abruptly came to an end and I called the girl I've been seeing. As expected, after her sister had already called her to tell her she saw me out on a date with another woman. I learne she told her sister that we are not exclusive and that I have been honest with her about this sort of thing.

But when she told me this, there was a sadness in her voice that kinda kills me. And today made me realize this situation needs to come to an end. I either have to be completely single or be exclusive.

My question, I guess, is this: How the hell do you know it's the right decision to commit to someone? Like, how the hell do you make this decision? It seems so scary to eschew all other opportunities, but it also seems crazy to give up what I have with her considering how much I care about her and, admittedly love her. For those that have decided to be exclusive with someone, how did you come to that decision?

There's no way to be sure, as they say, you never fully know anyone. But with my actual gf, and with any girl that I've been exclusive, I just think about the next:
Do I see myself with this girl in the long-term future? Do I see myself happy?

If your answer to both is yes, then fuck, go ahead. You could be wrong, but if you don't do it someone else will, and then you'll realise that you fucked it. You even say you love her, what the fuck are you waiting for? Go for it.
 
Its not really that bad. Its really only when I am on my knees spread in an upright position and using a thrusting motion that causes it pain. Or a high side kick with my right leg. Both are things I like to do though so..

But ya I will probably need a new hip in my 50s the doc said.

I think I'll manage unless arthritis sets in.
 
Well, I explained my situation a few pages back, but just to recap:

I'm seeing a girl for 5-6 months now who is easily the greatest girl I've ever dated, but I'm totally afraid of committing to her. I'm 30 and (likely) ready to settle down with the next girl with whom I'm exclusive, and she and I agreed that it's okay to see other people.

She hasn't been on dates with other guys because she said it would feel weird to her. But she's been super understanding (to the point of almost being zen-like) about me dating other women. I've never lied to her about dating other girls, but I also never told her about any girls in particular. She's just aware that I'm dating.

Anyway, Friday night, I went bowling with her friends, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. And we all hit it off. They are such genuinely good, warm, lovely people. It was the best night out I've had in months.

Well... today, I was out on a first date with a girl (from tinder) and walking in Central Park... and I bumped into her sister and her sister's BF while on my date. (fuck my life). I walked right up to them both and gave them each a hug, but didn't introduce my date or anything. It was so awkward.... like I have the worst guilt ever about it. Then I just kept walking with my date. The whole thing must have lasted under a minute.


My date picked up on the unspoken awkwardness of the situation and asked me about it. So I told her the truth. After explaining the entire situation, she very calmly said: "Listen, you're not single. You may have permission to see other women, but that isn't fair to me, or the other women you may be taking out. I want to date someone totally unencumbered, and you're not that guy."


And I realized, she was totally right. I'm being unfair to all sides here. And I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I am not giving everything I can to someone who loves me and who I care about, and I'm comparing all girls who I should be objective about with the girl I'm already seeing. Even though it's not cheating or dishonest, it feels wrong. And I feel 100% guilty.


My date abruptly came to an end and I called the girl I've been seeing. As expected, after her sister had already called her to tell her she saw me out on a date with another woman. I learne she told her sister that we are not exclusive and that I have been honest with her about this sort of thing.

But when she told me this, there was a sadness in her voice that kinda kills me. And today made me realize this situation needs to come to an end. I either have to be completely single or be exclusive.

My question, I guess, is this: How the hell do you know it's the right decision to commit to someone? Like, how the hell do you make this decision? It seems so scary to eschew all other opportunities, but it also seems crazy to give up what I have with her considering how much I care about her and, admittedly love her. For those that have decided to be exclusive with someone, how did you come to that decision?


In all honesty, I think I'm going to practice the law of fuck yes or no here... it's not a fuck yes for a commitment, so it's a no. Is that the way I should be thinking about it?

P.S. sorry for so much text.

Honestly, my gut is you're a fucking Idiot.

Why are you still going on shitty first dates with people after 6 months with the girl you love? How do you even consider not going on dates with and not fucking other people for a while a commitment.

I've had tubs of hair wax last longer.

I admit it straight up I do not understand this approach to dating.
 
I don't know why these dudes are still with these girls, I'm just having fun meeting new people.

I know a guy with a girl like that. Everytime we are doing something as a group she'll find something to get offended by and spoil the mood with her attention seeking drama. He claims she's not like that normally and when they are at home she's fine. Except everytime I've been to thier home shes raising her voice about something. I got sick of it and had to cut them off, shame to loose a mate but if he wont take control of the relationship and stop walking on eggshells not to upset her I cant have fun hanging out with them.
 

Peltz

Member
Honestly, my gut is you're a fucking Idiot.

Why are you still going on shitty first dates with people after 6 months with the girl you love? How do you even consider not going on dates with and not fucking other people for a while a commitment.

I've had tubs of hair wax last longer.

I admit it straight up I do not understand this approach to dating.
I think it's that I know if I'm exclusive with her, we will spend at least the next few years dating each other. But there's some basic things on which we may not be compatible: particularly our career ambitions. I need to be with someone who is very career oriented and driven like I am and I'm not certain whether she has the level of drive I'm seeking in a partner.

This is not something that will affect us in the short term, but this is something that could easily bubble up years down the line after we move in together and possibly even get married. (Yes I'm thinking that far ahead).

Tons of people love each other who end up getting divorced, for example, over money issues and fundamental views on child rearing. Those types of heartaches can be avoided by not committing to someone until you're absolutely sure.

I just know that time moves fast with her and we have a ton of fun right now. So we could easily spend years together before we even realize that we disagree on the simplest things that are necessary to share a good life.

My fear is, we sort of don't have the same vision for the future. But it's hard to tell because the future seems so far away.
 
I think it's that I know if I'm exclusive with her, we will spend at least the next few years dating each other. But there's some basic things on which we may not be compatible: particularly our career ambitions. I need to be with someone who is very career oriented and driven like I am and I'm not certain whether she has the level of drive I'm seeking in a partner.

This is not something that will affect us in the short term, but this is something that could easily bubble up years down the line after we move in together and possibly even get married. (Yes I'm thinking that far ahead).

Tons of people love each other who end up getting divorced, for example, over money issues and fundamental views on child rearing. Those types of heartaches can be avoided by not committing to someone until you're absolutely sure.

I just know that time moves fast with her and we have a ton of fun right now. So we could easily spend years together before we even realize that we disagree on the simplest things that are necessary to share a good life.

My fear is, we sort if don't have the same vision for the future. But it's hard to tell because the future seems so far away.

You still have not resolved the issue with your parents.
 
I think it's that I know if I'm exclusive with her, we will spend at least the next few years dating each other. But there's some basic things on which we may not be compatible: particularly our career ambitions. I need to be with someone who is very career oriented and driven like I am and I'm not certain whether she has the level of drive I'm seeking in a partner.

This is not something that will affect us in the short term, but this is something that could easily bubble up years down the line after we move in together and possibly even get married. (Yes I'm thinking that far ahead).

Tons of people love each other who end up getting divorced, for example, over money issues and fundamental views on child rearing. Those types of heartaches can be avoided by not committing to someone until you're absolutely sure.

I just know that time moves fast with her and we have a ton of fun right now. So we could easily spend years together before we even realize that we disagree on the simplest things that are necessary to share a good life.

My fear is, we sort of don't have the same vision for the future. But it's hard to tell because the future seems so far away.
If you two don't have the same vision for the future then it sounds like anything long term isn't going to work. Based on your actions it sounds like you don't want to commit to her then you should probably stop wasting her time and your time and part ways. It also sounds like you're hurting her in the process.
 
If you two don't have the same vision for the future then it sounds like anything long term isn't going to work. Based on your actions it sounds like you don't want to commit to her then you should probably stop wasting her time and your time and part ways. It also sounds like you're hurting her in the process.

I think he wants her to split up with him so he does not have to do it himself, confront the parents or his commitment issues and cite "reasons" and play the victim.
 
Yeah you dodged a bullet, but why the hell are you talking about marriage with a girl you're not even exclusive with?

Good question . I romanticize marriage a ton, which is a funny sentence. It's my ultimate goal; I love the idea of dedicating a life to someone, and I was raised believing that marriage is the end-all of human relationship .

Second I met this girl I could have seen myself with her for the rest of my days

Edit: my mom put me on to something today- culture probably has a ton to do with this. She was born, raised, and schooled in Shanghai.
 

AcridMeat

Banned
I think he wants her to split up with him so he does not have to do it himself, confront the parents or his commitment issues and cite "reasons" and play the victim.
This is my takeaway as well.

Peltz the majority of your post I felt like we discussed last time. Fair enough, it took having it come up in your day to day life for it to stick, but come on man.

You will never know for sure. What you're doing is unhealthy and unfair to everyone involved.
 

Stopdoor

Member
I think it's that I know if I'm exclusive with her, we will spend at least the next few years dating each other. But there's some basic things on which we may not be compatible: particularly our career ambitions. I need to be with someone who is very career oriented and driven like I am and I'm not certain whether she has the level of drive I'm seeking in a partner.

This is not something that will affect us in the short term, but this is something that could easily bubble up years down the line after we move in together and possibly even get married. (Yes I'm thinking that far ahead).

Tons of people love each other who end up getting divorced, for example, over money issues and fundamental views on child rearing. Those types of heartaches can be avoided by not committing to someone until you're absolutely sure.

I just know that time moves fast with her and we have a ton of fun right now. So we could easily spend years together before we even realize that we disagree on the simplest things that are necessary to share a good life.

My fear is, we sort of don't have the same vision for the future. But it's hard to tell because the future seems so far away.

It's weird reading this because it's hard to understand why you can't just talk about these long term views with her... right now. Some people get married after only like a year long relationship, so I don't think it's insane to ask about her views on these things in a casual way in the context of you being nervous about commitment? Not sure why you can't be honest about that.
 
I think he wants her to split up with him so he does not have to do it himself, confront the parents or his commitment issues and cite "reasons" and play the victim.
Damn. Even I had that discussion with my ex before we broke up. She still proceeded to break up with me over text, but at least I spoke to her like an adult face to face before she "did some thinking." It's never easy to end a relationship, but if a person is going to drag something out that they don't want to be in anymore it just hurts both parties.
 
I know a guy with a girl like that. Everytime we are doing something as a group she'll find something to get offended by and spoil the mood with her attention seeking drama. He claims she's not like that normally and when they are at home she's fine. Except everytime I've been to thier home shes raising her voice about something. I got sick of it and had to cut them off, shame to loose a mate but if he wont take control of the relationship and stop walking on eggshells not to upset her I cant have fun hanging out with them.

Yeah, initially it bummed me out a little when it happened but in order to retain the desire to hang out with him while his gf is there, I just sort of have to laugh and say "catch ya next time dude, sucks to be you" when she goes off about nothing and leaves. From there I just instantly re-adjust my focus to something else. He's aware that I'm a bit annoyed with it haha, he gets frustrated too.
 

gaiages

Banned
The fuck do you look like David Gandy or something? How do you meet them and are you sure they're not just using you for your money?

What is with this month and all the assholes flocking to this thread

Something tells me your dating problems don't have to do with your age

I see ldar247 is continuing his self-pity streak (wishing to resort to surgery) since the last time he went off about women only wanting money and handsome guys and if you're not that, you're out of luck. Confidence doesn't mean anything, apparently.

Seems he didn't take any of the advice given a few weeks ago.

Oh great, it's him again, wonderful

I think he wants her to split up with him so he does not have to do it himself, confront the parents or his commitment issues and cite "reasons" and play the victim.

Instead of quoting most of Peltz's stuff and the responses, I'm just going to +1 this here. It's becoming clear he wants her to just get fed up with this "I dunno"-ness and move on herself so he can grieve and regret it.

The excuses he's making up at this point are absurd, even worse than the parent one from before. Career goals may not line up years in the future????? I thought she already had a good career going for her???

This shit is painful to read, he's practically ripping the poor girl's heart out and stomping on it at this point.
 
I know dude, I don't get it. I'm fuckin super sad about this. I realize that nobody is obligated to like me, but we were seemingly on a fast track to the rest of our lives: laughing, smiling, incredible sex, sharing music and things we love, talking about meeting families- the whole nine yards.

Yeah man, gotta watch out for those "fast track" fantasies. If you indulge in those with someone with whom you haven't been exclusive with for a while and know really, really well, you're almost certainly going to have a bad time.
 
Yeah man, gotta watch out for those "fast track" fantasies. If you indulge in those with someone with whom you haven't been exclusive with for a while and know really, really well, you're almost certainly going to have a bad time.

Word, I tell whoever I'm dealing with the following:
"I will devote myself to you and keep it real with you if the feeling is mutual.. but you're not obligated stay.. if you want to leave tomorrow then do so " it sounds harsh like if I don't care but it's the opposite. The feeling gotta be mutual if not let's go our separate ways. Some people drag things out knowing well they aren't feeling it which is the messed up part.
 

Llyranor

Member
Peltz, commit or bail. You just want to have your cake and eat it too, to the detriment of this person you supposedly love. Is this how she deserves to be treated?
 
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