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[ThLunarian]

If a girl says she thinks we should study together, but we don't have any classes in common at all and are in totally different majors at different colleges, and she's well aware of those facts, then what are the odds that she's really just using that as an excuse to spend time together alone? Also, I would think she has to be aware of how strange that request sounds, right..?

I can't imagine what she would hope to accomplish by actually studying together. The thing that really confuses me and gives me pause is that she's currently in a relationship with someone else.

Thoughts?

 

[Miguel]

If a girl says she thinks we should study together, but we don't have any classes in common at all and are in totally different majors at different colleges, and she's well aware of those facts, then what are the odds that she's really just using that as an excuse to spend time together alone? Also, I would think she has to be aware of how strange that request sounds, right..?

I can't imagine what she would hope to accomplish by actually studying together. The thing that really confuses me and gives me pause is that she's currently in a relationship with someone else.

Thoughts?

Yes, and yes.

Are you friends with the girl already? Or just a random girl you've met?

It's possible she's no longer in said relationship or is on the way out.

 

[ThLunarian]

Yes, and yes.

Are you friends with the girl already? Or just a random girl you've met?

It's possible she's no longer in said relationship or is on the way out.

We went to elementary school together, were out of touch for 15 years, reconnected 2 years ago at a reunion, and haven't seen each other in person since then but interact regularly on Facebook. This is the first time (since 2 years ago) that she's suggested we meet in person for any reason.

Maybe you're right that she might be on her way out of the relationship. I guess we'll see.

 

[Hypereides]

What signs/signals has she been giving you other than that, before this?

 

[Chinner]

ive been texting a girl does this mean i have a chance?

 

[Mr.City]

Story time:

I met this girl about 2.5 weeks back at a New Years brunch hosted by some friends from college. I had never seen her before (she's a freshman and I'm a second year student), but we started talking because she was literally the only one there I didn't know and I like to meet people. Anyway, later a mutual friend tells me that apparently she liked me. I had no idea, because I really suck at picking up signals. Anyway, she (the mutual friend) askes me if I like her too and I respond with something along the lines of "She was nice yeah, but I'm not so sure".

Fast forward to a week back and the freshman-girl askes me if I want to go out with her and a few friends last thursday. Of course I say yes. I'm always in for a party. I do mention that I'm going to need a place to sleep because night trains are a bitch and she says it's okay: I can sleep at her place. Of course this could be interpreted as a huge "FUCK ME PLEASE"-sign, but I genuinely didn't think anything of it.

So, thursday night we danced in some club in Amsterdam and I literally did every little date-thing wrong. I didn't do my hair, didn't put any thought into what I wore (which resulted in some very club-inappropriate clothes), fell silent multiple times (I knew no one of the group of friends we we're going out with), left the group multiple times without telling where I was going and hell, I even forgot to put on deodorant. Anyhow, near the end of the night we were suddenly making out. All the time the only thought in my head was "Damn, the mutual friend was right", which is of course pretty strange. I mean, who thinks of another girl (they have no feelings for) while kissing someone?

Anyway, when we were done in the club, me and her went to her place to sleep. I expected she'd put up some some of mattress on the floor for me to lie on. Well, turned out there was just a double bed, so I had to sleep next to her. Well, that went excactly where you think this situation would lead to in shitty romantic comedies and I'm still not sure how to feel about this girl. But at least I'm not a virgin anymore.

TL;DR: I met a girl a few weeks back, we went out on a "first date", lost my V-card and I wasn't even planning on making a move on her.

 

[Hypereides]

ive been texting a girl does this mean i have a chance?

I dont know if youre serious Chinner, but thats very vague.

 

[jasonng]

Chinner is never serious.

 

[Miguel]

I dont know if youre serious Chinner, but thats very vague.

Chinner is playing the "vaguely mocking but not enough to draw attention to myself/get banned" card.

 

[ThLunarian]

What signs/signals has she been giving you other than that, before this?

Nothing that overt; only things that fit in the new paradigm in hindsight. Liking and responding to a lot of my statuses, agreeing forcefully with some philosophical Facebook statuses I made. During the reunion thing two years back, she told me she'd always admired my intelligence and friendship. Nothing that, on its own, was a clear signal (considering her relationship status) like this seems to be.

 

[jasonng]

Just spend time with her with zero expectations. You'll get a better read of the situation after.

 

[Hypereides]

Chinner is never serious.

Chinner is playing the "vaguely mocking but not enough to draw attention to myself/get banned" card.

I figured as much. Ive seen him around.

Next time he's taking a piss, he might have the courtesy of calling it rain.

Just spend time with her with zero expectations. You'll get a better read of the situation after.

Bingo.

 

[Boozeroony]

ive been texting a girl does this mean i have a chance?

Feather-deep already.

 

[Combine]

Mr. City has not said a single thing that was wrong about Combine. Combine needs to stop coming here with his sad stories and go out there and just start doing things without seeking someone's approval every 5 seconds. It's not even new problems he's complaining about, its the same problems he's always had! Nothing we say or do will help him if he doesn't want to help himself.

Also, for the record, I still think he's a joke character.

Care to say why you think I am a joke character? Not even City thinks that and he's been dealing with me for a long long time.

 

[Aegus]

So I have a girl I'm fairly interested in. She used to work in my team, but moved companies back in October time. Anyways we've met up infrequently since then for chats and stuff (another guy from my team is there as we bantered together at work). Now one friend says I should just try and hangout with her more while another says I should just phone and ask her out.

Now to be honest I'm kind of inclined to go with the latter and ask her either next week or the week after since I think I've become kinda facebook creepy at the moment. :s

I'd think I'd rather make my intent known and get the yes/no over with.

 

[hipgnosis]

Had some great time at a bar yesterday. Spoke to many different girls and had some good laughs with my friends. None of the girls seemed that interesting to me so I didn't even try to close. A girl bought me a drink also so that was great too. My game is starting to be at a decent level though there is always room for improvement.

Have also been talking with a girl I met at the same bar a couple of weeks ago. She lives quite far and I'm not going to pursue her at all, but could always had fun times if she decides to come to my town. She seems really nice and is quite attractive too. She offered to give me a bar tour if I ever go into the town she lives in.

So I also recently moved to a new apartment and a girl from school just offered to help me arrange a housewarming party. She offered to cook something and do the shopping for me. This came really out of the blue. She is good looking as hell, a scandinavian blonde. But not really my type on the personality side. She's like a femme fatale, lots of guys go crazy over her and she can manipulate easily. Really don't know what's up with this offer, but I guess I'll be doing a housewarming soon!

Also the girl I was seeing a couple of weeks ago asked if she could come and check out my new flat, I thought this thing was over, but I guess not. Will be having a conversation with her how we are going to go forward from here. In my mind I have moved on though so we'll see.

Slowly starting to feel the single lifestyle!

 

[luckyboyceo]

Trying to handle it well. Feel kinda awful right now actually but it still moving on as I said.

Sorry to hear this man. You'll get back on the horse in no time, just a bump in the road right now. Stay strong!

So I have a girl I'm fairly interested in. She used to work in my team, but moved companies back in October time. Anyways we've met up infrequently since then for chats and stuff (another guy from my team is there as we bantered together at work). Now one friend says I should just try and hangout with her more while another says I should just phone and ask her out.

Now to be honest I'm kind of inclined to go with the latter and ask her either next week or the week after since I think I've become kinda facebook creepy at the moment. :s

I'd think I'd rather make my intent known and get the yes/no over with.

How have you become "facebook creepy?" What have you done that would make you think this?

Had some great time at a bar yesterday. Spoke to many different girls and had some good laughs with my friends. None of the girls seemed that interesting to me so I didn't even try to close. A girl bought me a drink also so that was great too. My game is starting to be at a decent level though there is always room for improvement.

Have also been talking with a girl I met at the same bar a couple of weeks ago. She lives quite far and I'm not going to pursue her at all, but could always had fun times if she decides to come to my town. She seems really nice and is quite attractive too. She offered to give me a bar tour if I ever go into the town she lives in.

So I also recently moved to a new apartment and a girl from school just offered to help me arrange a housewarming party. She offered to cook something and do the shopping for me. This came really out of the blue. She is good looking as hell, a scandinavian blonde. But not really my type on the personality side. She's like a femme fatale, lots of guys go crazy over her and she can manipulate easily. Really don't know what's up with this offer, but I guess I'll be doing a housewarming soon!

Also the girl I was seeing a couple of weeks ago asked if she could come and check out my new flat, I thought this thing was over, but I guess not. Will be having a conversation with her how we are going to go forward from here. In my mind I have moved on though so we'll see.

Slowly starting to feel the single lifestyle!

Well damn, man. Sounds like things are shaping up just nice for you with the amount of options you have available.

Try and maintain that mentality and hopefully things will continue to go well.

 

[Aegus]

How have you become "facebook creepy?" What have you done that would make you think this?

Basically I comment on nearly every status update she does. I guess I'm just self concious because there was/is a creepy guy in my team when she worked with me who freaked her out.

 

[hipgnosis]

Well damn, man. Sounds like things are shaping up just nice for you with the amount of options you have available.

Try and maintain that mentality and hopefully things will continue to go well.

Thanks! I'm trying to make the most of my post-break-up life and it has gone really well. So much has happened in so little time and I feel like I'm having the time of my life. The way I see it, things will only get better from here. I've become more confident than ever and I've started improving myself by working out and taking care of myself. Also smiling is an important thing when you're talking to other people, it makes you seem more confident and open and people treat you better. Guys/girls remember to smile!

 

[Baraka in the White House]

Andy's face kills me every time.

 

[HappyBivouac]

Met a girl on campus last week, got her number. Extremely good looking, cute, instant chemistry, everything. But it turns out she's a freshman and 18 years old. I'm 24. So, no way in hell, right? It's gotta be a terrible idea in every way.

 

[Boozeroony]

Met a girl on campus last week, got her number. Extremely good looking, cute, instant chemistry, everything. But it turns out she's a freshman and 18 years old. I'm 24. So, no way in hell, right? It's gotta be a terrible idea in every way.

It's legal. Go for it.

 

[HappyBivouac]

No doubt half of guys dream of getting with an 18 year old, but it's not that simple. You know you're gonna be "that guy" in the eyes of everyone you know. Plus, I'm more of a relationship kind of guy, and a big age difference can really fuck with that.

Half my age plus 7 would be 19.

 

[Miguel]

Sorry to hear this man. You'll get back on the horse in no time, just a bump in the road right now. Stay strong!

Thanks, moment of weakness this morning with the feeling like crap stuff, but I'm dealing with it relatively well. No desire to go anywhere right at the moment but mostly because the game is on and I have a PC to reimage tonight. Had a long talk with a friend last night that also helped. Gonna hit up okcupid a little while imaging the other computer and have some time to kill.

 

[Boozeroony]

No doubt half of guys dream of getting with an 18 year old, but it's not that simple. You know you're gonna be "that guy" in the eyes of everyone you know. Plus, I'm more of a relationship kind of guy, and a big age difference can really fuck with that.

Half my age plus 7 would be 19.

Matters would be different if you were older than 27. If she is cool, she's cool. If she turns out to be too childish you can always bail out. Some 18 y/o are pretty mature, so you might be lucky.

Plus, she's tight.

 

[Minamu]

Got an invite yesterday to join my personal "guru" at a sauna with some girls but I couldn't make it in time and intended to stay home. But then I got an invite from my wingman to join him at a party. Wasn't planning on going out two days in a row but I did anyway. And boy am I glad I did :lol The only person at the party that I knew was my friend so I met some new cool people and we ended up going to a club I've never been to before.

http://www.bogrenssalonger.com/kategori/298/211-partylordag-med-stort-uv-party-pa-bogrens.html

Ran into a couple of interesting people, including the friend of the girl I went home with two weekends ago. She must've heard stories for she was all over me all evening and we didn't go home together only because it felt kinda weird because of the other girl and primarily because I "know" the guy she went home with that night when I first met her. She was digging it a bit suspiciously much, heh.

I also ran into a friend of mine and her best friend that I've mentioned before who's the one on my pedestal at the moment (the one I deleted my dating account over). I kinda alterated between these three girls all night and finally got some hands-on time and intimate dancing going on with the girl I'm swooning over xD Could've gone better but some serious improvement there. So far using tactics to get make out sessions have been completely unnecessary. I also ran into my "guru" downtown after the club closed and we accidentally met up with those two girls on our way home which was even better Yesterday could've gone a lot worse! I think I spent about 12 bucks last night, mostly because I paid for two friends so they could hang off their clothes. One sip of Corona, who has time for alcohol?

 

[RelentlessRolento]

Got an invite yesterday to join my personal "guru" at a sauna with some girls but I couldn't make it in time and intended to stay home. But then I got an invite from my wingman to join him at a party. Wasn't planning on going out two days in a row but I did anyway. And boy am I glad I did :lol The only person at the party that I knew was my friend so I met some new cool people and we ended up going to a club I've never been to before.

http://www.bogrenssalonger.com/kategori/298/211-partylordag-med-stort-uv-party-pa-bogrens.html

Ran into a couple of interesting people, including the friend of the girl I went home with two weekends ago. She must've heard stories for she was all over me all evening and we didn't go home together only because it felt kinda weird because of the other girl and primarily because I "know" the guy she went home with that night when I first met her. She was digging it a bit suspiciously much, heh.

I also ran into a friend of mine and her best friend that I've mentioned before who's the one on my pedestal at the moment (the one I deleted my dating account over). I kinda alterated between these three girls all night and finally got some hands-on time and intimate dancing going on with the girl I'm swooning over xD Could've gone better but some serious improvement there. So far using tactics to get make out sessions have been completely unnecessary. I also ran into my "guru" downtown after the club closed and we accidentally met up with those two girls on our way home which was even better Yesterday could've gone a lot worse! I think I spent about 12 bucks last night, mostly because I paid for two friends so they could hang off their clothes. One sip of Corona, who has time for alcohol?

I usually drink slow as fuck, and only drink faster when I notice being hesitant on things for no reason. It's like chemestry, you gotta know the amounts when is right and whosits.

congrads though. Nice looking pub as well.

 

[Minamu]

I usually drink slow as fuck, and only drink faster when I notice being hesitant on things for no reason. It's like chemestry, you gotta know the amounts when is right and whosits.

congrads though. Nice looking pub as well.

Thanks Honestly, I'm getting bored with alcohol. Never been a fan of losing the self control and stumbling about, you know? I practically never left the dance floor for three hours (I need new moves, any good videos? ) so I only drank a glass of water per hour. I had my attention elsewhere.

 

[soultron]

Matters would be different if you were older than 27. If she is cool, she's cool. If she turns out to be too childish you can always bail out. Some 18 y/o are pretty mature, so you might be lucky.

Plus, she's tight.

Hate to say this, but age doesn't exclusively imply tightness. All women are "tight" unless they've aged a lot and/or had multiple births.

Using this as a justification seems pretty foolish since there are a variety of positions one can engage in to adjust things. Also, foreplay naturally relaxes vaginal muscles and prepares a woman for intercourse.

 

[HappyBivouac]

I think it was a tongue in cheek comment from him, but yeah.

I'm more worried about social implications. Maybe I should just give less fucks about it.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

I think it was a tongue in cheek comment from him, but yeah.

I'm more worried about social implications. Maybe I should just give less fucks about it.

One of my best friends is dating a guy 6 years older than she is. She's 22 as of a couple of days ago. They've been going strong for two years now.

 

[Hypereides]

Matters would be different if you were older than 27. If she is cool, she's cool. If she turns out to be too childish you can always bail out. Some 18 y/o are pretty mature, so you might be lucky.

Plus, she's tight.

Ive been through a fair amount of 18-19 year olds. The one Im currently dating is 19, non-exclusive (for now). Its more like an affair though. Im seeing other people, and I assume she does aswell.

The teen mentality is completely misplaced and immature all the way. Most of them believe they have the confidence, intelligence and understanding of a grown adult. Which they dont. They may appear like they do, but they dont. What they do in reality is to look up to those older than them, trying to portray or adapt their traits. Girls at that age dont know exactly what they want. They know, they want to conquer the world, but dont know where to begin.

Basically they're androphiliacs. They're teenage children aspiring to be adults. Attracted to the idea of being an adult.

To avoid being sexist, condescending and put generalisation to the fairer sex, I wanna note that this is drawn from my personal experiences.

This girl Im seeing atm is straying sides between mature and immature. She clearly wants to dominate me, but when she reacts emotionally she gets childish.

I wouldnt qualify 18-19 year olds as being stably mature mentally.

EDIT: I want to clarify this applies to ALL 18-19 year olds not strictly females.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

No doubt half of guys dream of getting with an 18 year old, but it's not that simple. You know you're gonna be "that guy" in the eyes of everyone you know. Plus, I'm more of a relationship kind of guy, and a big age difference can really fuck with that.

Yeah, as a 23 y/o still in college, I find most younger girls sexy as hell from a physical standpoint, but positively repulsive from a mental or personality standpoint. I really need someone a few years older than me, because even most girls my age are still incredibly immature around these parts.

 

[barnone]

This is gonna be pretty blog-like but I'd love to read anyone's comments (except Chinner's).

I have no female (romantic) relationship experience at age 19. However I've recently been introduced to the dance club scene. I went to a 18+ night at a club, had my first grind dances with several sexy girls my friend helped me approach, and managed to get two dates with one of these girls! Strangely I couldn't initiate any kino on either date (both were movies at both of our apartments). I think it's strange because of how physical the dances were. She was really cool, not the kind of girl I expected to meet at a club, but I got friendzoned. I'm actually proud of my first failure haha.

Anyway, I went to Dayglow (a neon paint rave) last night. I easily approach girls now in these environments after just 1 night at a club (though I will say that Dayglow is a horrible way to actually meet women. Dancing is easy). So yea, major confidence boost for my sexuality. I'm already pretty damn intimate with my grinding - hand guiding, hair nuzzling, whatever I think will make her and myself feel sexy.

So I'm having lots of fun and feeling much better about my future love life. I've still got 2.5 years of college to go, and an internship in a city over the summer. I also finished reading The Game. If you read that book you've got to finish it, the ending is essential in not taking the PUA routines as gospel. I'm learning that conversing with different kinds of people, and showing them what makes you different, should be a hobby of everyone's and is what I am practicing. Even if your personalities clash, that should be a unique experience to notch in your belt.

I can elaborate on my few experiences if anyone is interested. My goal right now is to approach more people in class/on campus.

/blog

 

[Apeopleman]

My goal right now is to approach more people in class/on campus.

Great attitude, especially at first. The worst that can happen is rejection, and it happens to everyone. Its a part of life

Always be social, and oppurtunities will open up without even trying. Even by talking to random people of the same gender. Can never have enough friends.

"You go to this place? Omg, me too!"

"You know John Smith, he goes to my diner!"

Its the little things, always the little things

 

[overcast]

Yeah, I don't think I'll be performing oral on my GF often. She says it's weird for her. I am probably not very good at it, but she prefers fingering by a large margin. We're both relatively new at it (I feel like I have to say this every time).

Anyone ever encounter something like this?

 

[soultron]

Yeah, I don't think I'll be performing oral on my GF often. She says it's weird for her. I am probably not very good at it, but she prefers fingering by a large margin. We're both relatively new at it (I feel like I have to say this every time).

Anyone ever encounter something like this?

Mix both together and see if she likes it.

 

[luckyboyceo]

This is gonna be pretty blog-like but I'd love to read anyone's comments (except Chinner's).

I have no female (romantic) relationship experience at age 19. However I've recently been introduced to the dance club scene. I went to a 18+ night at a club, had my first grind dances with several sexy girls my friend helped me approach, and managed to get two dates with one of these girls! Strangely I couldn't initiate any kino on either date (both were movies at both of our apartments). I think it's strange because of how physical the dances were. She was really cool, not the kind of girl I expected to meet at a club, but I got friendzoned. I'm actually proud of my first failure haha.

Anyway, I went to Dayglow (a neon paint rave) last night. I easily approach girls now in these environments after just 1 night at a club (though I will say that Dayglow is a horrible way to actually meet women. Dancing is easy). So yea, major confidence boost for my sexuality. I'm already pretty damn intimate with my grinding - hand guiding, hair nuzzling, whatever I think will make her and myself feel sexy.

So I'm having lots of fun and feeling much better about my future love life. I've still got 2.5 years of college to go, and an internship in a city over the summer. I also finished reading The Game. If you read that book you've got to finish it, the ending is essential in not taking the PUA routines as gospel. I'm learning that conversing with different kinds of people, and showing them what makes you different, should be a hobby of everyone's and is what I am practicing. Even if your personalities clash, that should be a unique experience to notch in your belt.

I can elaborate on my few experiences if anyone is interested. My goal right now is to approach more people in class/on campus.

/blog

You're 19 and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, you'll be just fine.

In regards to your lack of physical contact during the date you mentioned, I think thats more of a byproduct of setting rather than yourself. She was obviously willing to dance/be physical with you at the club, because you were in a club setting, that's what people do there. She may not have felt comfortable being physical with you outside of that setting, which I think is what you found during your date.

Anyways, no sweat. Just wanted to clear up some of the confusion you were having. Keep at it and hopefully you'll have even more success in the future!

Yeah, I don't think I'll be performing oral on my GF often. She says it's weird for her. I am probably not very good at it, but she prefers fingering by a large margin. We're both relatively new at it (I feel like I have to say this every time).

Anyone ever encounter something like this?

How many times have you gone down on her? Was this one of your first attempts?

Like Soultron said, maybe try and spice things up and try it in different ways (IE. 69). Don't go in for the kill immediately. Tease her a bit, kiss on the inside of her thighs and make her really want it. It's always going to be weird at first but after awhile both you and her will get the hang of it and enjoy it. I'm certain of that.

 

[overcast]

How many times have you gone down on her? Was this one of your first attempts?

Like Soultron said, maybe try and spice things up and try it in different ways (IE. 69). Don't go in for the kill immediately. Tease her a bit, kiss on the inside of her thighs and make her really want it. It's always going to be weird at first but after awhile both you and her will get the hang of it and enjoy it. I'm certain of that.

Thanks guys. This was my 4th time. She goes down on me quite often, I just get her off with fingering generally.

Starting to feel a little inadequate oral wise.

 

[SpectreFire]

Super cute blonde girl with green eyes messages me on POF. We have tons of similar interests and she seems super cool.

She's attracted almost exclusively to other women.

I really. Really. Do not like my dating luck.

 

[Log4Girlz]

ive been texting a girl does this mean i have a chance?

Stop texting my sister.

 

[Emily Chu]

25 here with recent sucess in the past due to being extremely lucky

What if you have inception an idea so strong so complete as to think of all this as impossible ? (not actually impossible but just full of contradictions)

even though I've proven that wrong so many times, by being lucky as hell to get laid, to have several long srs relationships.

most of the women approached me, I've asked for there phone #s they respond kindly

I end up never calling them (WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME) it's like I don't want a burdern of some sort

I'm scared of STDs and such from random hookups but have had some luck in that department in the recent past...

I don't know what it is but I don't find this whole thing "natural" at all This whole "GAME" thing

every fucking time I see a nice/hot girl I have an inception of "IMPOSSIBLE" DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY and even if anything happens it will only end in a bad breakup sooner or later

The feelings are so strong they manifest itself instantly every fucking time

I guess I want a relationship again but I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN

I want sex and yet I DON'T WANT SEX

so I end up in LIMBO

it's driving me fucking nuts

sorry for the rant

 

[Minamu]

Super cute blonde girl with green eyes messages me on POF. We have tons of similar interests and she seems super cool.

She's attracted almost exclusively to other women.

I really. Really. Do not like my dating luck.

Did she think you were a girl? I doubt it, it's not like she accidentally the whole thing, right?

 

[CF_Fighter]

-Story-

We have to go deeper

 

[RelentlessRolento]

Thanks Honestly, I'm getting bored with alcohol. Never been a fan of losing the self control and stumbling about, you know? I practically never left the dance floor for three hours (I need new moves, any good videos? ) so I only drank a glass of water per hour. I had my attention elsewhere.

Easy way to get better is just keep dancing. Watch other people you consider good and see what works, but mostly whatever you feel like doing. No restraint is best.

 

[Boozeroony]

Hate to say this, but age doesn't exclusively imply tightness. All women are "tight" unless they've aged a lot and/or had multiple births.

Using this as a justification seems pretty foolish since there are a variety of positions one can engage in to adjust things. Also, foreplay naturally relaxes vaginal muscles and prepares a woman for intercourse.

It was more of a sarcastic comment.

Nonetheless, I would get to know her better. She may be immature, or maybe she isn't.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Hmm, progress of a sort with that girl I was talking about. I walked her back to her car when she had to leave one of our groups board gaming nights early. She initiated hand holding and really didn't want to let go of me when saying goodbye. On the other hand, she still pulled away when I went for the ol' look her in the eyes, glance down at her lips, and then move in. I feel like things are going to go pretty slow, but I am a patient sort of guy.

 

[LordPhoque]

Here's an update on my situation with this girl. First part of the story is here. Quoting it :

I need some kind of advice on my situation with this girl. Quick summary :

1-New girl at my student job, she's obviously into me (huge signs of interest, always come towards me, compliments me and ask about my personal life) I noticed her from the beginning so I find her interesting and attractive too
2-We chat a little but it's a busy job so we don't have a lot of privacy
3-So I ask her out pretty quickly, she was obviously waiting for it, answers yes ("whenever you want" with a big smile) but since she just got a new cellphone she doesn't know the number yet, takes mine instead.
4-A week pass (I only work two days a week), she doesn't call
5-This morning at work, first I've seen her since I asked her out. She's still always coming towards me, it gets flirty but I don't mention the fact that she didn't call. It's like I never asked except she's still showing signs of interest (her behavior towards me and other guys are totally different)

From my experience when girls don't want to go on a date they just answer something like "why not" "maybe next week", or simply no, but she was glad I asked so I'm really confused. When I left this morning she said "see you tommorrow", and when I said I wasn't working she looked extremely upset, like she was mad at me, it was very odd.

I must admit I'm kind of upset by it even though I didn't mention it. I screwed up a date with a girl I have no interest in but that could have been a one night thing just because I was distracted by it. Should I bring this up next time I see her ? I do find this extremely disrepectful and rude.

I didn't mention it to her, and apparently I was right because she came back to me the next time I went to work, she called my in the storage room and gave me her number, saying she had no communication and she hasn't been able to call me because of that.

I was busy the next week so I texted here today only, asking for which day she was available to have coffee. She answered she was saying her BF on wednesday but was available the next days and that it was "up to me".

This makes little sense. How would you react to that ? Considering she said to a female co-worker that was complaining about her BF that at least she had someone trustworthy, unlike herself, and I was in the same room... (in the french the sentence could either mean she doesn't have anybody, or someone who isn't trustworthy)

I already slept with women who were in a relationship before, but they never mentionned it before, so obviously she's sending a message and it's a "back up" one. But why sending so many signs of interest, and why giving me her number when I wasn't asking for anything after she ignored me ? I must admit I'm pretty upset by this totally childish behavior. Not sure I want anything to do with a girl like that (including friendship, plus I don't want to be "that guy"), but how do I answer so I can still work with her with no embarrassment ? I was thinking something direct but also funny, but I couldn't come up with anything decent. She won't be here for too long anyway (they switch the interims a lot and it's surprising she lasted that long) but still, I don't want to leave the text with no answer, I find it kind of lame.

Also I wasn't interested in this girl for sex. I've been sleeping with women I met at student parties/other events lately, and although I enjoyed it in the beginning, I now find it totally lame and pointless, just like PXG and others mentionned. I've never been in a relationship and I improved a lot these last months (was virgin until almost 2 years ago), but I'm disappointed that each time I meet a girl I'm interested in, she's either not into me (and I don't manage to make that change), taken, or totally unpredictable (like this one)

I was thinking to something like "well if you have a boyfriend I don't think it would be a very good idea. See you on Saturday !" but it's not funny and I'm afraid it's too bitter (which I am a little obviously, although I know me enough to say that it won't last at all)

 

[Hypereides]

Hmm, progress of a sort with that girl I was talking about. I walked her back to her car when she had to leave one of our groups board gaming nights early. She initiated hand holding and really didn't want to let go of me when saying goodbye. On the other hand, she still pulled away when I went for the ol' look her in the eyes, glance down at her lips, and then move in. I feel like things are going to go pretty slow, but I am a patient sort of guy.

She wants more comfort. AND you have to prepare her for it. Word out it something like this "Well I had a fun night. its alright, if we dont kiss now, and take it slow because I know you want to. Im ready for this, but you arent yet.... bla bla bla" or something similiar. Start with that and go on with it, or do something to a similiar vein.

[Its also alot better if she initiates the kiss instead of you. Withstand the temptation, because I think there will be scenarios where she will try leaning towards you, baiting you, to try to make you kiss her. Hold back, and if shes very obvious make a cheeky smile/smirk and act cool, and walk past/pass her.]

[....Or maybe you shouldnt try the above. Its more for the experienced crowd.... unless you think youre up to it.]

Also, dont forget the ex-boyfriend. He has some deep roots into her...

 

[Aegus]

So I have a girl I'm fairly interested in. She used to work in my team, but moved companies back in October time. Anyways we've met up infrequently since then for chats and stuff (another guy from my team is there as we bantered together at work). Now one friend says I should just try and hangout with her more while another says I should just phone and ask her out.

Now to be honest I'm kind of inclined to go with the latter and ask her either next week or the week after since I think I've become kinda facebook creepy at the moment. :s

I'd think I'd rather make my intent known and get the yes/no over with.

Follow up to this.

Just phoned her up and asked her for dinner. She said yes. Kinda fumbled by the end.