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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

G

Gotdatmoney

Member
always crazy bacon said:
Never assume malice when stupidity is also a valid answer.
Click to expand...

Maybe Mega just wants to be a dad?

Djostikk said:
I was chatting with one girl from college. Things were going pretty good and I decided to invite her to the cinema, but she said she is busy with all this college stuff and studying. This is actually an odd thing because it's only the beginning of study year and I don't think there are a lot to do right now. Seems like she just doesn't have interest, well then, now I'm depressed.
Click to expand...

It happens. No huge deal. Ultimately if someone aint wanna chill then what can ya do? Go find people who do wanna. Focus on having as much fun and new experiences as you can. Forger about people who aint down for that.
 
M

Manu

Member
Yo, a couple months ago I wrote a story about a girl I met online on the previous thread. It basically sucked because she was the ex of a guy who was also one of my best friends' ex too, so the whole thing was really awkward and shit to the point where I wanted to just quit dating altogether. Then I got banned for a month. Maybe some of you remember that? (The story, not the ban)

Well, fuuuuuuuuuuck that noise.

The same friend from the previous story had been bugging me about one of her coworkers pretty much from the moment I broke up with my ex, telling both of us we'd be perfect for each other, so last month I said "fuck it" and told her I'd give it a shot. And boy she was right. I've been dating this girl for little over a month and we just complete each other. She's cute, she's fun, she's nerdy, she's really into me, and everyone says we make a cute couple. I couldn't be happier right now.

And yeah, the sex is amazing too.

The only "downside" is that she's got two kids from previous relationships. I was a bit reluctant about dating someone with kids at first, but I figured that since I'm almost 30 it's only normal that some girls my age are just gonna have kids. So far it's been a non factor, we'll see what happens down the line.

But yeah, I thought I'd share a positive story for once. Thanks for reading.
 
M

Manu

Member
always crazy bacon said:
The only thing you need to be prepared for is the "let's have one of our own" conversation.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I don't think she wants another one for a long time (or at all) though, since by her own admission her first kid came from an attempt to salvage a relationship that wasn't going anywhere, and that she was just a kid back then and would never do something like that again (she still loves her and is a great mother, of course.) I trust her.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Solo said:
I can't figure out if Mega is a joke poster or just dumb. First it was a joint bank account after 2 dates. Then mama birding. Now it's happy father's day.
Click to expand...

Let's not forget him thinking he needed to break up with her a couple times while drunk.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
But seriously. I dunno if maybe I'm just outta touch but "I don't want kids" and "I hit it raw with my gf all the time" just seem like polar opposite. Wrap it up or ask her about birth control. Is this difficult stuff?

You can have a joint bank account but you can't put minimal effort ensure you aren't a father?
 
S

Seirith

Member
Megalosaro said:
Real Talk children.

Do I have a right to bring up perhaps going on birth control to my girl? We've been having a lot of unprotected sex lately and its pretty rad. The problem is neither of us really want kids at this moment.

It's one of those things where its her body her right but I also think that we need to be responsible.

When I was going though my issues, one of my friends suguested just nor using a condom. That helped.. but that guy wasn't the best advisor. Not long after we had that conversation he just had his first child. Unplanned.
Click to expand...

Are you serious? You don't want children but are having unprotected sex? Seriously? You do know that is how babies are made right?

She is your girlfriend, ask her to get on the pill, get an IUD or wrap it up until you want to be a father.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Gotdatmoney said:
But seriously. I dunno if maybe I'm just outta touch but "I don't want kids" and "I hit it raw with my gf all the time" just seem like polar opposite. Wrap it up or ask her about birth control. Is this difficult stuff?

You can have a joint bank account but you can't put minimal effort ensure you aren't a father?
Click to expand...

For real.

I take birth control AND track my cycle (which, well, with birth control is immensely easy since it regulates the cycle)--on the week I'm most likely to get pregnant, we do it less or abstain. And even with birth control he usually pulls out.

We REALLY don't want kids. Of course, condoms sorta suck so we're willing to make that one concession after all the others :p
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
For fuck sakes. False alarm people. I found the condoms. I am relieved and disappointed at the same time. My bad.

They were in my bed under the sheets. I have a king size and they were on the passenger side so I didnt notice until I woke up this morning after wrapping myself in my sheets uncovering them.

She made the bed when she left.
They were def in the box on the fridge though i swear.

I thought this was going somewhere.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
backslashbunny said:
Okay real talk here--

I had an abortion six years ago, and even though I still forget my husband's favorite foods and don't remember the names of my exes, every October I remember it would have been my kid's birthday.

But, that pales to actually having a child. All I have are bittersweet feelings, but actually being a parent means for the last six years, every day of every week, I would have to be 24/7 focused on raising someone else.

You need to realize how serious your decision is. Think about what it means if your partner gets pregnant. Abortion is just a word until you actually have to make the choice.
Click to expand...

Thank you.

Also, on this: if you’re having sex with anyone, but especially someone you’re dating, please talk about the consequences before you engage in the act.

Mega, you’ve talked about what would happen if she got pregnant, right?
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
I don't think asking your girl about taking birth control is a huge deal either as long as you aren't a dick about it.

I'm like, not going to avoid asking this when the alternative is a child I am not prepared to have.

Shrug
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Mega, you’ve talked about what would happen if she got pregnant, right?
Click to expand...

Yeah, we had that talk around the time we started getting intimate. It went about how you suggested.

In all serious though, I agree I've been irresponsible. I was being slightly cheeky in my last post. "A lot" is like 3 times. Three times too many. But yeah, after last time I realized "this isn't a good idea" so I want to broach the topic about alternatives to condoms before we get into the habit of being stupid lol.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
always crazy bacon said:
STOP POSTING "Me too" stuff. I feel like that guy who always had the same thing happen or has to "One Up" the story teller. Even though it's totally true and I can relate.
Click to expand...
Lol. I guess its good I found them before I confronted her about it.




My ex was on birth cotrol and I still got her pregnant. Abortions arent exactly fun to go through. We agreed we didnt want kids but it was still a shitty thing to go through. She was a wreck emotionally. Im sure going through that shit has to fuck with the girls hormones and shit too.

I would suggest to continue the pullout method even if one is on birth control.
 
Z

Zaphrynn

Member
Megalosaro said:
Yeah, we had that talk around the time we started getting intimate. It went about how you suggested.

In all serious though, I agree I've been irresponsible. I was being slightly cheeky in my last post. "A lot" is like 3 times. Three times too many. But yeah, after last time I realized "this isn't a good idea" so I want to broach the topic about alternatives to condoms before we get into the habit of being stupid lol.
Click to expand...

Be supportive and research different birth control options with her (if she's open to birth control). One thing I've always kind of hated is how birth control is treated as this "no big deal" thing, but for many women, it throws things WAY out of whack (physically and emotionally). It can take a few different types before both of you find an option that works. I've tried the shot, an IUD, and the implant. All of them have had their own set of problems.

No matter what though, if you don't want a kid, USE SOME FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL. Don't have anymore sex without protection!
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Zaphrynn said:
Be supportive and research different birth control options with her (if she's open to birth control). One thing I've always kind of hated is how birth control is treated as this "no big deal" thing, but for many women, it throws things WAY out of whack (physically and emotionally). It can take a few different types before both of you find an option that works. I've tried the shot, an IUD, and the implant. All of them have had their own set of problems.

No matter what though, if you don't want a kid, USE SOME FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL. Don't have anymore sex without protection!
Click to expand...

Yeah, one time I was talking to my friends wife. She said she gets suicidal sometimes
 
R

RockmanBN

Member
No luck on Tinder/Okcupid. I suck at conversation and can't improvise stuff on the stop. About 4 weeks passed with about six conversations leading into ghosting. Can't improve likes much as I got the short end of the stick with my height being 5"7 and smiling is hard. I can only do a smirk with the left side of my lip and can't raise the right side of my lip for a full smile.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Megalosaro said:
Yeah, one time I was talking to my friends wife. She said she gets suicidal sometimes
Click to expand...

Read Bunny’s post again. Think of your friend’s wife. Think of all the stories you’ve read and heard. Do you want to put someone you love through that?

Despite what certain media outlets tell you, aside from maybe a handful of people on the entire PLANET, no one gets abortions for fun. They are physically and emotionally traumatic experiences - more so the latter than the former.

Plus you can imagine how it’d test her faith and probably ruin your relationship.
 
X

Xun

Member
RockmanBN said:
No luck on Tinder/Okcupid. I suck at conversation and can't improvise stuff on the stop. About 4 weeks passed with about six conversations leading into ghosting. Can't improve likes much as I got the short end of the stick with my height being 5"7 and smiling is hard. I can only do a smirk with the left side of my lip and can't raise the right side of my lip for a full smile.
Click to expand...
You weren't just talking to them for 4 weeks without asking them out, right? If you were that's what you did wrong.

Ask them out as soon as possible.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Manu said:
Yo, a couple months ago I wrote a story about a girl I met online on the previous thread. It basically sucked because she was the ex of a guy who was also one of my best friends' ex too, so the whole thing was really awkward and shit to the point where I wanted to just quit dating altogether. Then I got banned for a month. Maybe some of you remember that? (The story, not the ban)

Well, fuuuuuuuuuuck that noise.

The same friend from the previous story had been bugging me about one of her coworkers pretty much from the moment I broke up with my ex, telling both of us we'd be perfect for each other, so last month I said "fuck it" and told her I'd give it a shot. And boy she was right. I've been dating this girl for little over a month and we just complete each other. She's cute, she's fun, she's nerdy, she's really into me, and everyone says we make a cute couple. I couldn't be happier right now.

And yeah, the sex is amazing too.

The only "downside" is that she's got two kids from previous relationships. I was a bit reluctant about dating someone with kids at first, but I figured that since I'm almost 30 it's only normal that some girls my age are just gonna have kids. So far it's been a non factor, we'll see what happens down the line.

But yeah, I thought I'd share a positive story for once. Thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
Good to hear, best of wishes!
 
R

RockmanBN

Member
Xun said:
You weren't just talking to them for 4 weeks without asking them out, right? If you were that's what you did wrong.

Ask them out as soon as possible.
Click to expand...

Yeah and that's when the ghosting happened. First attempts I'd ask after around 15 messages. Read that you should be doing much sooner and it hasn't changed much.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
LookAtMeGo said:
For fuck sakes. False alarm people. I found the condoms. I am relieved and disappointed at the same time. My bad.

They were in my bed under the sheets. I have a king size and they were on the passenger side so I didnt notice until I woke up this morning after wrapping myself in my sheets uncovering them.

She made the bed when she left.
They were def in the box on the fridge though i swear.

I thought this was going somewhere.
Click to expand...
And so comes the bitter end of the Missing Condoms saga.
 
T

True Savior

Member
Erv said:
What's the protocol on messaging a high school crush who you never really talked to? On Facebook
Click to expand...

If you've never talked to her she probably doesn't even remember you , so it will be the anonymous guy messaging a girl on facebook (or "oh shit it's that guy from high school").

To be honest, a bunch of my friends have been setting dates through instagram dm's after a bit of interaction in their profiles. But they are a bit younger than me, maybe creeping is becoming the norm and acceptable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
L

Llyranor

Member
LookAtMeGo said:
For fuck sakes. False alarm people. I found the condoms. I am relieved and disappointed at the same time. My bad.

They were in my bed under the sheets. I have a king size and they were on the passenger side so I didnt notice until I woke up this morning after wrapping myself in my sheets uncovering them.

She made the bed when she left.
They were def in the box on the fridge though i swear.

I thought this was going somewhere.
Click to expand...
After all the hype, I'm kind of let down. But still, good for you!
 
X

Xun

Member
RockmanBN said:
Yeah and that's when the ghosting happened. First attempts I'd ask after around 15 messages. Read that you should be doing much sooner and it hasn't changed much.
Click to expand...
So you were speaking to them for 4 weeks without asking them out? Don't do that.

I suggest messaging for a day or 2 (only like 6 messages or so), giving them your number and then asking them out via text not long after that.

Say something along the lines of the below to get the conversation off of Tinder/whatever:

"By the way, since I barely use Tinder shall we move this over to WhatsApp/text? My number is -, so feel free to drop me a message :)"
 
R

RockmanBN

Member
Xun said:
So you were speaking to them for 4 weeks without asking them out? Don't do that.

I suggest messaging for a day or 2 (only like 6 messages or so), giving them your number and then asking them out via text not long after that.

Say something along the lines of the below to get the conversation off of Tinder/whatever:

"By the way, since I barely use Tinder shall we move this over to WhatsApp/text? My number is -, so feel free to drop me a message :)"
Click to expand...

Oh no not at all, been using these apps for that time. Usually ask to move to text in a night. Real struggle is finding someone without red flags. Live in the midwest so a a good chunk of women around my area are blond country girls who put God as #1 or want to party all the time. Don't socialize, listen to much music, picky eater, or do any drugs. So I know I'm boring to a lot of people. Been opening up more I feel like having a relationship will at least be an ego boost for next time.
 
K

KayMote

Member
I have nothing substantial to say except: Hoooooly shit, I just came back from one of the best dates of my life!
She's perfect! Very natural and beautiful, very intelligent and basically on the same energy level as I am - we were talking for around 5 hours which felt incredibly easy and yet we had all those deep and complex thoughts that we shared together, especially when it came down to making and performing music. And we want to see each other again!

Man, I'm feeling truly euphoric right now! :D
 
P

Peltz

Member
KayMote said:
I have nothing substantial to say except: Hoooooly shit, I just came back from one of the best dates of my life!
She's perfect! Very natural and beautiful, very intelligent and basically on the same energy level as I am - we were talking for around 5 hours which felt incredibly easy and yet we had all those deep and complex thoughts that we shared together, especially when it came down to making and performing music. And we want to see each other again!

Man, I'm feeling truly euphoric right now! :D
Click to expand...

Congrats.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
KayMote said:
I have nothing substantial to say except: Hoooooly shit, I just came back from one of the best dates of my life!
She's perfect! Very natural and beautiful, very intelligent and basically on the same energy level as I am - we were talking for around 5 hours which felt incredibly easy and yet we had all those deep and complex thoughts that we shared together, especially when it came down to making and performing music. And we want to see each other again!

Man, I'm feeling truly euphoric right now! :D
Click to expand...
Sounds like a good date meng. Congrats.
 
A

afroguy10

Member
LookAtMeGo said:
I have a king size
Click to expand...

Genuinely thought you were talking about the condoms haha, it's been a long day.

In regular news, I picked up my stuff when I was going to my friends on Sunday night, he picked me up on his way home from work and we drove past the exes so it gave me a good excuse not to get caught up in anything with her. She forgot a couple of t-shirts, might pick them up at some point but I'll probably just leave them, not like they were expensive anyway.

Went to the gym again for the first time since like November 2015 as well, I'm completely fucking knackered but it felt good to go again, gonna try not burn myself out on it so I'm just gonna start going a couple of times a week and take it from there.

The ex has been pretty quiet so I'm not quite gonna go nuclear and block her, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and see if it holds up. If not I'll hit the button and block her on everything.

Now I'm just waiting until I feel comfortable enough to reinstall Tinder and Plenty of Fish again.

Been talking a little more to the girl from my work as well, I was watching Battle Royale last night and we spoke about how awesome it is. She spoke a little about how she was tanning herself as well and got on to talking about tanning her butt and it got a wee bitty flirty so it still seems to be going fairly well.

I'm not gonna rush anything on this one though since we work together in the same team, if anything happens it happens, our team goes on nights out quite often so it's not like we don't see each other outside of work. If nothing happens then that's fine, I'd be a little gutted but I'd rather that than completely misread the situation and then have to deal with it at work.
 
P

PancakeBurglar

Member
KayMote said:
I have nothing substantial to say except: Hoooooly shit, I just came back from one of the best dates of my life!
She's perfect! Very natural and beautiful, very intelligent and basically on the same energy level as I am - we were talking for around 5 hours which felt incredibly easy and yet we had all those deep and complex thoughts that we shared together, especially when it came down to making and performing music. And we want to see each other again!

Man, I'm feeling truly euphoric right now! :D
Click to expand...
Sounds good dude, keep us updated!
 
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